FARK.com: (6991837) Is it Tuesday again already? Fine, then, let's have another set of Republican primaries. Alabama and Mississippi close at 8pm ET, insomniacs can stick around for Hawaii (closes at 2am ET)

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(Alobama)		Is it Tuesday again already? Fine, then, let's have another set of Republican primaries. Alabama and Mississippi close at 8pm ET, insomniacs can stick around for Hawaii (closes at 2am ET) (alabamavotes.gov)		894
		More: Silly, Republican, Alabama, Mississippi, ballot access, insomniacs, primaries, Hawaii, elections in 2012

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WhoIsWillo		2012-03-13 11:21:48 AM

cretinbob		2012-03-13 11:22:59 AM

The Onanist		2012-03-13 12:01:34 PM

RminusQ		2012-03-13 12:31:00 PM

Drinking game rules for tonight: Take a sip every time you hear "too close to call". Two sips for "too early to call" if and only if there's emphasis on the "early".

Delegate guide coming once I get home.

Lando Lincoln		2012-03-13 12:48:08 PM

Looks like it's going to be a big night for...Gingrich? Really? People are still voting for him? Yeah, sure. Why not.

CommieTaoist		2012-03-13 01:04:39 PM

I'm sure Hawai'i is going to go to the Republicans this year, I can just feel it.

WhoIsWillo		2012-03-13 01:07:03 PM

FloydA		2012-03-13 01:30:09 PM

RminusQ: Drinking game rules for tonight: Take a sip every time you hear "too close to call". Two sips for "too early to call" if and only if there's emphasis on the "early".

Delegate guide coming once I get home.

I'm not sure my liver is going to survive the primaries.

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat		2012-03-13 01:53:29 PM

What? No one cares about the American Samoa caucus?

Lost Thought 00		2012-03-13 02:17:58 PM

Gingrich is going to siphon off enough votes from Santorum to let Romney win both contests with his static 30% of the vote, effectively ending the primary tonight.

Mad Scientist		2012-03-13 02:19:07 PM

I voted for Newty. Just to keep the GOP clusterfark going as long as possible.

NateGrey		2012-03-13 02:20:54 PM

Please let this continue.

Rush is flipping out about Obama attack ads on Sarah Palin and Game Change being Obama campaign material.

Its like he is almost embarrassed to talk about the Republican primary.

Another thread where Fark Republican trolls go missing out of shame.

hutchkc		2012-03-13 02:23:46 PM

Didn't Newt say he would drop if he couldn't take 'bama and Mississippi.

Jisaw		2012-03-13 02:24:35 PM

FloydA: RminusQ: Drinking game rules for tonight: Take a sip every time you hear "too close to call". Two sips for "too early to call" if and only if there's emphasis on the "early".

Delegate guide coming once I get home.

I'm not sure my liver is going to survive the primaries.

I haven't been on speaking terms with my liver since the last debate.

Dusk-You-n-Me		2012-03-13 02:25:19 PM

If Republican men had their way, Romney would be toast. It's Republican women who are keeping him afloat, and it's an enormous gender gap. Given that Southern men make up the cultural heart and soul of modern Republicanism, the fact that the GOP is about to nominate a candidate despised by Southern men should be a gigantic flashing red sign that something is out of kilter for them. Link (new window)

meat0918		2012-03-13 02:26:00 PM

Please, for the love of all that is good and pure, please just quit. Everyone just drop out of the race.

These Republican candidates are damaging this country, wounding it with deep cuts and divides that will take generations to heal, exploiting long standing divides between rural and urban voters, and stoking the fires of hatred beyond all rational belief. If the South still hurting over losing the Civil War is any indication, these wounds may never heal.

wildcardjack		2012-03-13 02:27:31 PM

At the rate I've been going I'll be up well past the Hawaii returns.

RminusQ		2012-03-13 02:27:45 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: What? No one cares about the American Samoa caucus?

Fine. They're meeting at a bar, and any participant chosen at random has a better than 1-in-10 shot of becoming a national delegate.

jj325		2012-03-13 02:28:30 PM

Some interviews to give you an idea which way the vote will be going in Alabama

Link (new window)

jj325		2012-03-13 02:29:16 PM

jj325: Some interviews to give you an idea which way the vote will be going in Alabama

Link (new window)

Or Mississippi.

/All the same to me

Pants full of macaroni!!		2012-03-13 02:29:44 PM

(Alobama)

*snrk*

Dahnkster		2012-03-13 02:30:12 PM

STAND UP FOR AMERICA!....BECAUSE HE COULDN'T

MindStalker		2012-03-13 02:31:33 PM

Lando Lincoln: Looks like it's going to be a big night for...Gingrich? Really? People are still voting for him? Yeah, sure. Why not.

Meh, not surprising really. I've got a lot of relatives from Georgia (where Newt won last week), Mississippi and Alabama are similar states. People there are big on their prejudices (they aren't too fond of Mormons), frequently have multiple marriages (plus for newt), and got to church every Sunday with a hangover from Saturday night of drinking (publicly appreciate Santorums religious convictions, but privately don't want him telling them what to do).

meat0918		2012-03-13 02:35:11 PM

MindStalker: Lando Lincoln: Looks like it's going to be a big night for...Gingrich? Really? People are still voting for him? Yeah, sure. Why not.

Meh, not surprising really. I've got a lot of relatives from Georgia (where Newt won last week), Mississippi and Alabama are similar states. People there are big on their prejudices (they aren't too fond of Mormons), frequently have multiple marriages (plus for newt), and got to church every Sunday with a hangover from Saturday night of drinking (publicly appreciate Santorums religious convictions, but privately don't want him telling them what to do).

At this point, Gingrich is in it to draw Southern voters away from Santorum more than he is there to draw votes from Romney.

The money wants Romney, because of the remaining four, he'd do the least damage while giving them what they want.

Duke Phillips' Singing Bears		2012-03-13 02:35:17 PM

Dusk-You-n-Me: If Republican men had their way, Romney would be toast. It's Republican women who are keeping him afloat, and it's an enormous gender gap. Given that Southern men make up the cultural heart and soul of modern Republicanism, the fact that the GOP is about to nominate a candidate despised by Southern men should be a gigantic flashing red sign that something is out of kilter for them. Link (new window)

Don't forget rich republicans. He KILLS among those making high six-figures.

Honestly, I'm amazed I'm saying it, but I think all of the Republicans voting in the primaries are actually getting a candidate that represents their interests.

Rich Republicans vote Romney. Because he will definitely take care of them.
Fundamentalist Republicans vote Santorum. Because he will definitely take care of them.
And Republicans that stand around in a seething pile of hatred vote Gingrich. Because HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE. (insert Kefka picture here)

Infernalist		2012-03-13 02:37:02 PM

I've known for months that this primary season would be amazing, but the fact that it won't farking end is doubly so. A script describing a primary season that simply would not farking end would get laughed out of Hollywood. No one would be able to buy it, suspend their disbelief long enough for the movie to take hold..

But, here we are.

I got my popcorn. Bring it on, conservatards.

mrshowrules		2012-03-13 02:40:04 PM

jj325: Some interviews to give you an idea which way the vote will be going in Alabama

Link (new window)

I'm less pissed-off and more sorry for these people than anything else. A farking shame that they hate Obama and he is the only one even trying to do something for them and their kids.

These ignorant racists are almost likable. It seems like their racism springs more from complete stupidity and ignorance than from hate.

dumbobruni		2012-03-13 02:45:44 PM

RCP today showed Gingrich with a 2% lead in Mississippi.

Mississippi was +8% Romney last week.

enry		2012-03-13 02:47:49 PM

The Onanist: [i172.photobucket.com image 450x300]

Didn't that movie take place in Georgia?

/still applicable, just sayin...

Infernalist		2012-03-13 02:48:25 PM

mrshowrules: jj325: Some interviews to give you an idea which way the vote will be going in Alabama

Link (new window)

I'm less pissed-off and more sorry for these people than anything else. A farking shame that they hate Obama and he is the only one even trying to do something for them and their kids.

These ignorant racists are almost likable. It seems like their racism springs more from complete stupidity and ignorance than from hate.

The modern GOP needs their base to be pig-ignorant and blindly hateful of the other party. It's the only way that they can survive.

Coco LaFemme		2012-03-13 02:49:46 PM

I want Gingrich to win Alabama and Mississippi so that this farktarded contest can go on just that much longer. As a liberal, this shiat is entertaining in a way I didn't know a political primary contest could be entertaining. It's like watching three drunk chicks try and slap fight each other in the parking lot of the most reputable tattoo parlor you can find in the back of your city/town's 3rd best newspaper.

2wolves		2012-03-13 02:49:58 PM

Dahnkster: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 320x313]
[www.miamigrind.com image 640x427]
STAND UP FOR AMERICA!....BECAUSE HE COULDN'T

The only reason Laurel, MD is worthy of note.

MindStalker		2012-03-13 02:51:21 PM

dumbobruni: RCP today showed Gingrich with a 2% lead in Mississippi.

Mississippi was +8% Romney last week.

Its always been Gingrich, the polls generally collapse to honest when it gets close to election because pollsters don't want to look like fools when their results are totally different than actual votes.

jasimo		2012-03-13 02:52:55 PM

Over at 538:

Alabama
Mar. 13

Vote
Projection

Chance
of Win

Newt Gingrich
32.2%
48%

Mitt Romney
31.3
39

Rick Santorum
27.9
13

Mississippi
Mar. 13

Vote
Projection

Chance
of Win

Mitt Romney
33.7%
53%

Newt Gingrich
33.2
45

Rick Santorum
25.9
2

enry		2012-03-13 02:56:55 PM

Infernalist: I've known for months that this primary season would be amazing, but the fact that it won't farking end is doubly so. A script describing a primary season that simply would not farking end would get laughed out of Hollywood. No one would be able to buy it, suspend their disbelief long enough for the movie to take hold..

But, here we are.

I got my popcorn. Bring it on, conservatards.

I'm buying up popcorn futures in the event there's a brokered convention. It'll be harder to find than ammo.

2wolves		2012-03-13 02:57:18 PM

Coco LaFemme		2012-03-13 02:59:32 PM

This is the most amazing piece of video I think I've ever seen. These people vote. Mississippi Conservatives Talk About Their Hatred Of Obama (new window)

Favorite bits:

1. The guy who says the President should be American, not Muslim, as if Muslims can't be Americans
2. The toothless dude who says he gets nothing from the government, but he's on foodstamps
3. The guy who calls Obama a "half-breed"
4. The guy who says that Obamacare is retarded and pointless, but then says a lot of people in Mississippi need health care
5. All of it, actually

lordaction		2012-03-13 03:02:14 PM

Just got done voting.

RON PAUL

enry		2012-03-13 03:04:31 PM

Coco LaFemme: This is the most amazing piece of video I think I've ever seen. These people vote. Mississippi Conservatives Talk About Their Hatred Of Obama (new window)

2. The toothless dude who says he gets nothing from the government, but he's on foodstamps

Yeah, but he needs foodstamps 'cos he don't have no employment.

[idontwanttoliveonthisplanetanymore.jpg]

Tantalea03		2012-03-13 03:05:25 PM

MindStalker: Lando Lincoln: Looks like it's going to be a big night for...Gingrich? Really? People are still voting for him? Yeah, sure. Why not.

Meh, not surprising really. I've got a lot of relatives from Georgia (where Newt won last week), Mississippi and Alabama are similar states. People there are big on their prejudices (they aren't too fond of Mormons), frequently have multiple marriages (plus for newt), and got to church every Sunday with a hangover from Saturday night of drinking (publicly appreciate Santorums religious convictions, but privately don't want him telling them what to do).

My husband attends school where Newt taught. . . They aren't advertising their association and the professors are very quick to point out that it was a long time ago.

So, there's a disconnect between the uneducated and the educated (big surprise).

abb3w		2012-03-13 03:06:22 PM

Huh. The FiveThirtyEight model currently has Gingrich with a 48% chance of victory in AL, and only 45% for Miss. The success would seem likely to give him enough of a bump to take Louisiana, for a sweep of Goldwater states of the Derp South. However, Missouri's (non-Beauty pageant) caucus and Texas look non-starters for Gingrich; the last polling data I can find has Santorum well ahead.

I don't think Gingrich has a lot of spoilerific funding from Romney people; losing (even narrowly) both AL and MS would seem likely to dry up his money supply in short order (especially if it's losses to Santorum). I don't think his ego would take running his campaign at a "Greyhound ticket to the next state" level for long.

If he wins, it's a question of how long until he suspends his campaign. I'd guess by early April it should be clear that he's not going to win outside Goldwater's territory.

Tantalea03		2012-03-13 03:10:12 PM

Coco LaFemme: This is the most amazing piece of video I think I've ever seen. These people vote. Mississippi Conservatives Talk About Their Hatred Of Obama (new window)

Favorite bits:

1. The guy who says the President should be American, not Muslim, as if Muslims can't be Americans
2. The toothless dude who says he gets nothing from the government, but he's on foodstamps
3. The guy who calls Obama a "half-breed"
4. The guy who says that Obamacare is retarded and pointless, but then says a lot of people in Mississippi need health care
5. All of it, actually

Saw it linked from Crooks and Liars. It honestly reminded me of the Tea Party interviews.

Coco LaFemme		2012-03-13 03:10:47 PM

enry: Coco LaFemme: This is the most amazing piece of video I think I've ever seen. These people vote. Mississippi Conservatives Talk About Their Hatred Of Obama (new window)

2. The toothless dude who says he gets nothing from the government, but he's on foodstamps

Yeah, but he needs foodstamps 'cos he don't have no employment.

[idontwanttoliveonthisplanetanymore.jpg]

I liked the part where he admitted that being a Republican hasn't worked out for him, BUT IT STILL MIGHT. No matter how hard he was pressed about how crappy his life was, he still thought that dagnabit, it's gonna git better.

You couldn't pay me to go to Mississippi. Well, you could if you let me bring my boyfriend with me. An atheist shacking up with a Jew? Their heads would EXPLODE.

hutchkc		2012-03-13 03:13:07 PM

Coco LaFemme: ou couldn't pay me to go to Mississippi. Well, you could if you let me bring my boyfriend with me. An atheist shacking up with a Jew? Their heads would EXPLODE.

Only way to top that would be interracial couple.

dumbobruni		2012-03-13 03:13:32 PM

abb3w: Huh. The FiveThirtyEight model currently has Gingrich with a 48% chance of victory in AL, and only 45% for Miss. The success would seem likely to give him enough of a bump to take Louisiana, for a sweep of Goldwater states of the Derp South. However, Missouri's (non-Beauty pageant) caucus and Texas look non-starters for Gingrich; the last polling data I can find has Santorum well ahead.

I don't think Gingrich has a lot of spoilerific funding from Romney people; losing (even narrowly) both AL and MS would seem likely to dry up his money supply in short order (especially if it's losses to Santorum). I don't think his ego would take running his campaign at a "Greyhound ticket to the next state" level for long.

If he wins, it's a question of how long until he suspends his campaign. I'd guess by early April it should be clear that he's not going to win outside Goldwater's territory.

538 has gotten many things wrong during this primary season. for example, just one day before the Ohio primary, Nate Silver gave Santorum a 60% chance of winning.

Tantalea03		2012-03-13 03:14:33 PM

Coco LaFemme: enry: Coco LaFemme: This is the most amazing piece of video I think I've ever seen. These people vote. Mississippi Conservatives Talk About Their Hatred Of Obama (new window)

2. The toothless dude who says he gets nothing from the government, but he's on foodstamps

Yeah, but he needs foodstamps 'cos he don't have no employment.

[idontwanttoliveonthisplanetanymore.jpg]

I liked the part where he admitted that being a Republican hasn't worked out for him, BUT IT STILL MIGHT. No matter how hard he was pressed about how crappy his life was, he still thought that dagnabit, it's gonna git better.

You couldn't pay me to go to Mississippi. Well, you could if you let me bring my boyfriend with me. An atheist shacking up with a Jew? Their heads would EXPLODE.

There are some areas in Gerogia I won't go to because I have a, "real purdy mouth".
/not kidding
//it's nothing stellar. . . Although I do have all my teeth

Zerochance		2012-03-13 03:15:50 PM

hutchkc: Coco LaFemme: ou couldn't pay me to go to Mississippi. Well, you could if you let me bring my boyfriend with me. An atheist shacking up with a Jew? Their heads would EXPLODE.

Only way to top that would be interracial couple.

You rang? I'm latino, and my wife is as lily-white as can be.

ROAD TRIP!!

abb3w		2012-03-13 03:17:00 PM

Coco LaFemme: An atheist shacking up with a Jew? Their heads would EXPLODE.

Huh. I had you Farkied as a Roman Catholic. Though I suppose (ex-)Catholic could spread the splatter radius even further....

Recent rethinking from the latest Church contraception fiasco, or have I just had you mis-labeled for a good while?

Tantalea03		2012-03-13 03:17:18 PM

Zerochance: hutchkc: Coco LaFemme: ou couldn't pay me to go to Mississippi. Well, you could if you let me bring my boyfriend with me. An atheist shacking up with a Jew? Their heads would EXPLODE.

Only way to top that would be interracial couple.

You rang? I'm latino, and my wife is as lily-white as can be.

ROAD TRIP!!

Taking their jobs and women? Bold move.

Infernalist		2012-03-13 03:19:03 PM

abb3w: Huh. The FiveThirtyEight model currently has Gingrich with a 48% chance of victory in AL, and only 45% for Miss. The success would seem likely to give him enough of a bump to take Louisiana, for a sweep of Goldwater states of the Derp South. However, Missouri's (non-Beauty pageant) caucus and Texas look non-starters for Gingrich; the last polling data I can find has Santorum well ahead.

I don't think Gingrich has a lot of spoilerific funding from Romney people; losing (even narrowly) both AL and MS would seem likely to dry up his money supply in short order (especially if it's losses to Santorum). I don't think his ego would take running his campaign at a "Greyhound ticket to the next state" level for long.

If he wins, it's a question of how long until he suspends his campaign. I'd guess by early April it should be clear that he's not going to win outside Goldwater's territory.

Gingrich has a very rich sponsor in his pocket. He'll continue his run until it's numerically impossible for him to win, delegate-wise. And then he'll suicide-bomb the convention and try to run it off the rails.

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