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(Daily Mail)   Jessica Simpson washes ashore on Jay Leno to announce she's not having twins   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 60
    More: Unlikely, Jay Leno, Jessica Simpson, animal print, cardigans, reality TV show Fashion  
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5948 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 13 Mar 2012 at 2:34 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-13 11:51:29 AM  
She may not be having twins, but her "twins" are huge. I could go for a feeding on those fun bags.
 
2012-03-13 02:38:00 PM  
she looks like she's doubled in size, leno has to be like "dude...you're literally twice as big as the girl on the cover of this magazine"

www.usmagazine.com
 
2012-03-13 02:40:37 PM  
Too huge for just one or twins, I'm thinking octuplets.
 
2012-03-13 02:40:42 PM  
She'll never recover.
 
2012-03-13 02:57:04 PM  

AiryAnne: She'll never recover.


Oh there is not doubt that she will continue to inflate even once the baby is born. She's going to be huge!
 
2012-03-13 03:02:19 PM  

physt: AiryAnne: She'll never recover.

Oh there is not doubt that she will continue to inflate even once the baby is born. She's going to be huge!


She'll do the Kirstie Alley/Marie Osmond/et al. "now I'm huge, now I'm (sort of) skinny with [weight loss product endorsement], now I'm huge" thing. Rest assured, the days of the american flag bikini and Daisy Duke shorts are long gone, never to return.
 
2012-03-13 03:03:29 PM  
I'd hit it. With no regrets. Pregnant sex is great sex.
 
2012-03-13 03:06:26 PM  
Reminds me of Octomom. Or maybe The Hindenberg. When she goes jogging, she leaves potholes, ect., ect.
 
2012-03-13 03:11:39 PM  
www.movieposter.com
 
2012-03-13 03:16:54 PM  

Evil-Imposter: [www.movieposter.com image 600x469]


Jessica called wanting to know if that comes with vegtables, ect., ect.
 
2012-03-13 03:32:25 PM  
is she due like next week?
 
2012-03-13 03:39:44 PM  
Oh I dunno, I think for her age Sally Struthers is looking pretty good. Sure she put on a little weight, but all in all ... what? That's who? oh. ouch.
 
2012-03-13 03:45:02 PM  

Cubs300: I'd hit it. With no regrets. Pregnant sex is great sex.


This.
 
2012-03-13 03:50:54 PM  

strangeguitar: Cubs300: I'd hit it. With no regrets. Pregnant sex is great sex.

This.



Ditto.
 
2012-03-13 04:04:47 PM  
She is so done. Just like too many woman, she turns thirty something, pushes out a baby and then gets all fat and nasty.
 
2012-03-13 04:05:50 PM  

Cubs300: I'd hit it. With no regrets. Pregnant sex is great sex.


Yuuuuupppp. You can just slide er right in. It's great!
 
2012-03-13 04:06:35 PM  
Id like some pictures of her baby inflated mameries... the best would be a gif of her just ind of bouncing in place simulating her just slapping my face with her huge dirty pillows
 
2012-03-13 04:31:04 PM  

FreetardoRivera: is she due like next week?


Last year, more like.
 
2012-03-13 04:45:35 PM  

ihatedumbpeople: she looks like she's doubled in size, leno has to be like "dude...you're literally twice as big as the girl on the cover of this magazine"

[www.usmagazine.com image 467x388]


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-03-13 04:54:32 PM  
I'd go down to the Piggly-Wiggly and pick up a couple cans of Crisco. Then we'd have a prayer meeting. Would there be speaking in tongues? Oh yes, my tongue would be like that of the Blessed St. Theodore Gavras or the martyred St. Longinus; even if it were severed from my body, it would continue to leap about and 'prophesy' as to the goodness of her Voodoo Poonanny. We would both lay on a bed made from the carcasses of baby fur seals and Oompa Loompas dressed as tiny eskimos wearing gossamer angel wings would bungee from the ceiling and gently slap her forehead with their exposed genitalia. Like "Mission Impossible", mini-Inuit after mini-Inuit would drop from the rafters, humming 50 Cent's "In da' Club" as their tiny penises smacked her on her lips and jowls.

Then I would fark all her orifices and the spaces between her Crisco-smeared toes. If my porcine Princess were to utter the slightest word of protest, I would gently cornhole her enormous pooper.
 
2012-03-13 05:02:18 PM  
Oh, Excuse me. But I neglected earlier to mention...

'Dem titties!
 
2012-03-13 05:03:31 PM  
So much for her.

/Nice while she lasted.
//She's into Kirstie Alley territory now.
 
2012-03-13 05:34:46 PM  
I don't think her outfit is helping much, with the 1980's shoulderpads adding another foot across.
 
2012-03-13 05:36:06 PM  
I'll be back after someone posts her washing the General Lee.
 
2012-03-13 05:40:06 PM  
I cannot stand the sight of pregnant women. It repulses me.
 
2012-03-13 06:03:49 PM  

That coward David Lopan: I'll be back after someone posts her washing the General Lee.


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-03-13 06:06:41 PM  
How much weight did she gain during this pregnancy, 100 pounds?

Having a crotchfruit in your belly doesn't give you a license to eat everything in sight. Though it's Jessica Simpson, so I'm honestly not surprised.
 
2012-03-13 06:10:10 PM  
She needs to eat some sammiches, looks like a 12 year old boy
 
2012-03-13 06:11:53 PM  

TravisBickle62: She needs to eat some sammiches, looks like a 12 year old boy


Looks more like she's gonna give birth to a 12 year old boy.
 
2012-03-13 06:17:46 PM  
That article had the most typographical errors I have ever seen condensed into one page.

/was avoiding looking at the pics
 
2012-03-13 06:34:03 PM  
I never found her attractive when she was skinny (blondes are boring ordinary and unattractive) but she looks like my ex-wife, three months into her first pregnancy she was the size of a barn. She was asked continually if she was going to have twins. After this kid is born Jessica is going to be a regular porker.
In five years or less her husband dumps her because he is tired of living with a land whale.
 
2012-03-13 06:34:41 PM  
i39.tinypic.com
 
2012-03-13 06:36:21 PM  

"Jessica Simpson 'waddles' on to Jay Leno show to talk about her pregnancy..."


We're gonna need a bigger boat.

 
2012-03-13 06:40:55 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com

I has a sad...........................................
 
2012-03-13 06:50:45 PM  
I'd hit it. With no regrets. Pregnant sex is great sex.

Eww. No thanks. Put me in the "can't stand the sight of pregnant women" club. And what's with the hand on the belly constantly? Stop it!
 
2012-03-13 06:58:58 PM  
She freaking pregnant, give her a break. And if she never loses the weight then I guess you will all just have to continue to whack it to Courtney Love like you tards probably do.
 
2012-03-13 07:07:34 PM  

Whiteston: She freaking pregnant, give her a break. And if she never loses the weight then I guess you will all just have to continue to whack it to Courtney Love like you tards probably do.


^^^ This
 
2012-03-13 07:18:49 PM  

Whiteston: She freaking pregnant, give her a break. And if she never loses the weight then I guess you will all just have to continue to whack it to Courtney Love like you tards probably do.


You go, you White Knight you!
 
2012-03-13 07:19:55 PM  

Whiteston: She freaking pregnant, give her a break. And if she never loses the weight then I guess you will all just have to continue to whack it to Courtney Love like you tards probably do.


You sound post-pregnant
 
2012-03-13 07:58:16 PM  

darch: I'd hit it. With no regrets. Pregnant sex is great sex.

Eww. No thanks. Put me in the "can't stand the sight of pregnant women" club. And what's with the hand on the belly constantly? Stop it!


i noticed that too once... i was talking to an attractive lady while on the job, and the whole time, she kept putting her hand on the belly... I took it as her way of telling me not to flirt with her, which i appreciated the clue-in, but she kept doing it, and eventually i felt insulted and annoyed.
 
2012-03-13 08:08:37 PM  

four95: That coward David Lopan: I'll be back after someone posts her washing the General Lee.

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 369x460]


You're a good man.
 
2012-03-13 08:33:13 PM  

Strongbeerrules: Evil-Imposter: [www.movieposter.com image 600x469]

Jessica called wanting to know if that comes with vegtables side of fries


Oh and I'll have dessert as well no need for the dessert menu I'll have one of everything.
 
mjg
2012-03-13 08:41:49 PM  
Jessica seems to have a gestation period of an elephant
 
2012-03-13 08:49:54 PM  
Well, she WAS hot.
 
2012-03-13 09:08:55 PM  
Somewhere, Tony Romo is laughing.
 
2012-03-13 09:36:25 PM  
I'd love to see her topless, then I think back to my wife being pregnant. GIS large veiny breasts and you will agree larger pregnant boobs are not attractive.
/still curious though
 
2012-03-13 09:56:33 PM  
Admiral! There be whales here!

images.wikia.com
 
2012-03-13 10:13:28 PM  

laid back w/bud light: I'd love to see her topless, then I think back to my wife being pregnant. GIS large veiny breasts and you will agree larger pregnant boobs are not attractive.
/still curious though


I disagree completely. I think your wife's pregnant breasts were hot.
 
2012-03-13 10:38:55 PM  
Is she preparing for a role in Lucas' new film, Revenge of the Huts?
 
2012-03-13 11:02:02 PM  

T.rex: darch: I'd hit it. With no regrets. Pregnant sex is great sex.

Eww. No thanks. Put me in the "can't stand the sight of pregnant women" club. And what's with the hand on the belly constantly? Stop it!

i noticed that too once... i was talking to an attractive lady while on the job, and the whole time, she kept putting her hand on the belly... I took it as her way of telling me not to flirt with her, which i appreciated the clue-in, but she kept doing it, and eventually i felt insulted and annoyed.


Nope. After a while, resting a hand, or both hands on the large lump in front of you just becomes habit. Plus, something is quite often going on in there; kicks, hiccups, cricks, cramps, you name it. It's hard NOT to put your hands there. If you haven't been there, it would be hard to understand.
 
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