FARK.com: (6991487) "Listen mate, this is gonna sound totally insane, but I've just gone for a piss in the urinal and I could've sworn I saw an eyeball looking up from the hole"

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		"Listen mate, this is gonna sound totally insane, but I've just gone for a piss in the urinal and I could've sworn I saw an eyeball looking up from the hole" (vice.com)		90
		More: Sick, flesh-eating diseases, Southend

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13679 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2012 at 8:12 AM | Favorite | share:

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lemortede		2012-03-13 09:21:11 AM

Kinda reminds me of the time I saw the Jerry Springer show with weird sexual fetishes.

/Creeped out.
// EWWWWWW

The Envoy		2012-03-13 09:22:25 AM

Confabulat: You'd think the guy must live nearby though, or maybe pee-covered gentlemen are not an uncommon site in Great Britain.

10 pints of wifebeater chased with Jagerbombs will do that to you.

Oscar_Madisons_cleaning_lady		2012-03-13 09:22:30 AM

bet he was shiat-faced, too.

HailRobonia		2012-03-13 09:22:58 AM

Magnum Pee Eye.

Edymnion		2012-03-13 09:25:58 AM

You know, I clicked the article expecting to hear about a gouged out eyeball laying in a urinal. For some reason, not sure if this was better or worse...

A Terrible Human		2012-03-13 09:27:04 AM

That was weird even for Vice.

Now if you wanna go for horror you can read their article about krokodil

They also do some really interesting documentaries.

lack of warmth		2012-03-13 09:30:51 AM

Lsherm: It's the snorkel that really makes the story. I mean, it's one thing to get pissed on, but breathing urine is just gross.

Weird Al had a song "Albuquerque" that had a golden snorkel in it. We should be looking for a large transvestite with a 'Flock Seaguls' haircut with only one nostril. He stoled it from Al.

Pert		2012-03-13 09:35:56 AM

macadamnut: "Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity."

Perfumed ponce!

Mr. Parker		2012-03-13 09:40:02 AM

I've done a lot of crazy shiat in my life but I just got one upped.

Xenomech		2012-03-13 09:40:43 AM

Every once in a while you hear a story of human sexual deviance so extremely left of center that it literally blows your mind.

WTF?

the_immoral_minority		2012-03-13 09:44:18 AM

Eyed be pi55ed

Strik3r		2012-03-13 09:45:41 AM

Mr. Parker: I've done a lot of crazy shiat in my life but I just got one upped.

Only one? you forgot your snorkel, didn't you...

EngineerBoy		2012-03-13 09:48:09 AM

I'm pretty jaded to most things I see/hear/read here on FARK and the tubes in general, but this one literally made me nauseated for a minute, there. Wow.

Even more disturbing is to reverse-engineer the guy's life and determine what happened such that it lead to this event. Yikes.

Mr. Shabooboo		2012-03-13 09:50:27 AM

"

Oh Piss Boy...

serial_crusher		2012-03-13 09:57:54 AM

Confabulat: bednet: How was he planning to get out in the first place? There seemed to be only that one door...and he was covered in pee. The fact that pee was leaking directly on the floor (by having removed the plumbing) kinda made it obvious someone was gonna check it out. I don't know...it doesn't add up...

I believe they mentioned it was a fire escape. So there must have been another door leading outside, hopefully to some dark alley. You'd think the guy must live nearby though, or maybe pee-covered gentlemen are not an uncommon site in Great Britain.

If it was me, I would have brought a bag with some towels and a change of clothes. Not like I've done this sort of thing before though.

nekom		2012-03-13 10:12:12 AM

The Envoy: Probably the latter, he wasn't exposing himself as far as I can tell. I don't think he'd end up on a register.

Not exposing himself, but he was technically able to see others, even if that's not what his purpose there was. Might be some sort of peeping tom charge.

offmymeds		2012-03-13 10:14:46 AM

nekom: The Envoy: Probably the latter, he wasn't exposing himself as far as I can tell. I don't think he'd end up on a register.

Not exposing himself, but he was technically able to see others, even if that's not what his purpose there was. Might be some sort of peeping tom charge.

Fixed.

The Envoy		2012-03-13 10:20:11 AM

EngineerBoy: Even more disturbing is to reverse-engineer the guy's life and determine what happened such that it lead to this event. Yikes.

You know how it is, you drink a large glass of water before bedtime and wake up with a piss-erection at 3am. What do you do?

Do you try the almost impossible "handstand pee" which is bound to lead to you needing a shower, the bathroom needing to be cleaned and your wife being disgusted with you?

Do you try to lever your cock down, sticking your arse out further and further until you think (although you can't be sure - it's 3am for god's sake, you're not awake!) that the stream will arc just under the back rim of the seat and while there will be some splash to wipe up it's going to be a lot less than if you were standing on your head?

Or do you think, "hey! I know it's 3am, but there's never a bad time for a hand-shandy!" and start wanking in the hope that you'll get the post-orgasm flop and be able to pee normally?

I think this guy went for number 3 and through a piece of extraordinary timing managed to bring himself to an earth-shattering orgasm at just the time that his bladder control gave out, resulting in him climaxing while being deluged in buckets of his own warm piss.

I really need to shower after writing that.

The Envoy		2012-03-13 10:22:11 AM

HailRobonia		2012-03-13 10:36:41 AM

The Envoy: You know how it is, you drink a large glass of water before bedtime and wake up with a piss-erection at 3am. What do you do?

Pretend you are a panda.

xo.typepad.com

ciberido		2012-03-13 10:37:19 AM

lack of warmth: Weird Al had a song "Albuquerque" that had a golden snorkel in it. We should be looking for a large transvestite with a 'Flock Seaguls' haircut with only one nostril. He stoled it from Al.

I agree! In fact, let's make a solemn vow right here and now that we will not rest, we will not sleep for an instant until the one-nostrilled man is brought to justice.

poot_rootbeer		2012-03-13 11:00:02 AM

The Envoy: You know how it is, you drink a large glass of water before bedtime and wake up with a piss-erection at 3am. What do you do?

This is the one scenario wherein it is acceptable for a man to sit down to pee.

Well, not so much 'sit down' as 'squat and lean forward'.

jigger		2012-03-13 11:01:38 AM

gargle gargle "This is my dream!"

\Sam Kinison

dletter		2012-03-13 11:15:21 AM

BurnShrike: I... don't even know what to say. This is just weird.

I bet the bar manager was pissed off. And the other guy was pissed on.

The bar manager was probably mostly pissed off because he didn't even realize he could probably charge people for the right to sit under the urinal.

HailRobonia		2012-03-13 11:19:14 AM

Sober you're a six, but after a few drinks, urinate.

Maul555		2012-03-13 11:53:10 AM

This and the horse semen article? Great, now all we need is for someone to do something bizarre with some poo or barf and we can have a trifecta going on!

KrispyKritter		2012-03-13 12:39:46 PM

Mr. Parker: I've done a lot of crazy shiat in my life but I just got one upped.

indeed. today is the day mindy found the dare she wouldn't take.

"my friends call me mindy, and i'll take a dare"

-not obscure to you

BurnShrike		2012-03-13 01:43:19 PM

"What's your IP address?"

"Behind urinal #3"

medius		2012-03-13 02:23:07 PM

I read this right after the horse semen article

Farking Mondays, man

Honest Bender		2012-03-13 02:41:17 PM

medius: I read this right after the horse semen article

Farking Mondays, man

medius: I read this right after the horse semen article

Farking Mondays, man

Today is Tuesday...

NationalHero		2012-03-13 02:45:26 PM

HailRobonia: [tomselleck.tv-website.com image 313x238]
Magnum Pee Eye.

Why is that so damn funny?
I giggled

NationalHero		2012-03-13 02:48:00 PM

HailRobonia: Sober you're a six, but after a few drinks, urinate.

BurnShrike: "What's your IP address?"

"Behind urinal #3"

Lotta funny shiat in this thread! Bravo Farkers

ChuckyV		2012-03-13 02:49:25 PM

medius		2012-03-13 02:55:25 PM

Honest Bender: medius: I read this right after the horse semen article

Farking Mondays, man

medius: I read this right after the horse semen article

Farking Mondays, man

Today is Tuesday...

Is it Spring ahead, Fall back? My bad.

BuckTurgidson		2012-03-13 03:02:03 PM

Oh, and did I mention the snorkel?

wambu		2012-03-13 03:51:10 PM

ethics-gradient		2012-03-13 05:10:57 PM

EngineerBoy: Even more disturbing is to reverse-engineer the guy's life and determine what happened such that it lead to this event. Yikes.

That's what I was thinking too. Someone's mummy really frkked up toilet training.

burghboy		2012-03-13 06:01:13 PM

I wonder if this dude was aware of the fact that there are at least two bars in Greater London where this kind of thing goes on quite openly and consensually without all the risk of criminal charges?

ethics-gradient		2012-03-13 06:15:36 PM

burghboy: I wonder if this dude was aware of the fact that there are at least two bars in Greater London where this kind of thing goes on quite openly and consensually without all the risk of criminal charges?

Eww. Wouldn't want to drink the beer there.