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(CNN)   87% of women admit they moan during sex to make you feel better about your lousy performance   (thechart.blogs.cnn.com) divider line 260
    More: Obvious, Ian Kerner, Archives of Sexual Behavior, The New York Times Best Seller list, University of Leeds, sex therapy, fake orgasm, Turn-on, University of Central Lancashire  
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10181 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2012 at 10:40 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-13 10:57:32 AM  
A little moaning is a turn-on, but if she does it too loudly, it's an indication that you have the restraints too tight.

Most women make little to no noise at the instant of orgasm, because they are in the zone and pretty much gone. So if she's screaming and lashing about, he may be faking it. (as if you care.)
 
2012-03-13 10:57:36 AM  
Why are the other 13% lying?
 
2012-03-13 10:57:38 AM  
ugg.. I LOVE it when my wife moans for my benefit, unfortunately usaully the orgasm hits her so hard she cant even breathe never mind moan
 
2012-03-13 10:57:38 AM  

alwaysjaded: BurnShrike: alwaysjaded: I wish that women hit the big O that they went off like you hit the jackpot on a slot machine.

DING DING DING DING DING! YOU'RE A WINNER!!!!!

Yeah but collecting all the quarters coming out would distract me from finishing my own business.

Yea, it would get distracting when you start pumping the quarters back in her mouth saying "We can't quit now!! I'm on a hot streak!!"


Or when you get up for a restroom break only to come back and find someone else has taken your seat.
 
2012-03-13 10:58:46 AM  
87% admit it, 13% lie about it
 
2012-03-13 11:00:37 AM  
To quote, "Of course, there's nothing smart about faking it."

Ladies, please only make noise if you're enjoying it.
And let them know what you like and what to do more.
Men are stupid and need to be told.

Of course, if you're telling us this while having sex, then we've already gotten what we want anyway...


Actually, I had an ex-girlfriend who was deaf.
And she didn't know she was making noise aloud.
And she was so loud, it sounded like I was thrashing her to death.
She actually got to the point that she allowed a pillow to be put over her to not disturb next door.

Anyways, my point is, other than to toot my own horn, is that noise is just another part of the event.
Do you really want someone to not express themselves fully during the passion??
Isn't that a part of the raw energy of the thing?

/at least, that's how I like it.
 
2012-03-13 11:00:41 AM  
I am going to have to say that my girlfriends do not, because I date the type of women that would tell me if I wasn't doing it for them and they would not moan to make me feel better. Besides you know you are doing things right when they moan, pull your hair and ears during oral and moan, bite on your shoulder and claw your back during intercourse.
 
2012-03-13 11:01:38 AM  
In case of doubt, try suprise butsecks
 
2012-03-13 11:01:57 AM  

Andrew Wiggin: afterwards i like to say 'that'll do, pig, that'll do'


I thought the whole point to self love is that you don't have to talk to yourself afterwards.
 
2012-03-13 11:02:04 AM  

BurnShrike: alwaysjaded: BurnShrike: alwaysjaded: I wish that women hit the big O that they went off like you hit the jackpot on a slot machine.

DING DING DING DING DING! YOU'RE A WINNER!!!!!

Yeah but collecting all the quarters coming out would distract me from finishing my own business.

Yea, it would get distracting when you start pumping the quarters back in her mouth saying "We can't quit now!! I'm on a hot streak!!"

Or when you get up for a restroom break only to come back and find someone else has taken your seat.


You got man-raped in your own bathroom? The guy was just waiting there for you? That's some rough house you got.
 
2012-03-13 11:02:48 AM  
In the book, "Sex at Dawn", the authors contend that she's advertising for other partners.
 
2012-03-13 11:03:14 AM  
That article wasn't a very good propaganda piece for heterosexual relations.

I'm a gold star here, so I have no clue-- one single grunt? Is that really what most guys only do?

I personally don't know HOW a woman or man couldn't be moaning, yelling, screaming, cursing, etc during the throws of great sex. Who farks silently?

The article also makes it sounds like a bit of a bad thing if a woman is moaning to encourage her man to orgasm. That's half the fun climaxing-- knowing that your vocalizations help get your partner over the edge.

I just would like to think that my hetero brothers and sisters are having better sex than this article lets on. From the comments here thus far, I think you all are, but man, you guys need some better research.
 
2012-03-13 11:03:23 AM  
Phazzle:

You are in the funeral business aren't you? How do you expect them to moan when they can't breathe? You have to fark the living to hear moaning.
 
2012-03-13 11:04:15 AM  

Phazzle: Women never moan for me...should that make me feel bad or good?


You probably don't tip enough.
 
2012-03-13 11:04:21 AM  

just passing through: blazemongr: My girlfriend gets turned on when she hears me during sex -- moaning, dirty talk, whatever. I'm the same way about her. And together, it makes a wonderful feedback loop. Sex is a LOT better when multiple senses are involved.

She's like that with me too. Ok, I don't know your gf. At least not that I know of. But I agree with your points 100%. MY gf and I do the same. We love moaning, talking about fantasies while we fark, and all that good stuff. And of course, it drives me crazy when she tells me she's about to cum, and she loves when I tell her when I'm getting close. Damn, sex is so farking awesome.


This, with the exception of the whole "sex doesn't happen nearly enough times".
 
2012-03-13 11:04:35 AM  
I like girls to moan a bit in pornos. I hate when it's over-dubbed. Everyone knows it's fake. Her mouth isn't even open.

I also hate the noises asian pornesses make. That sharp high-pitched "eee" sound really pisses me off. I just want to slap the stupid woman. If the porno's really hot I'll just mute the sound, but usually I just click a different link. It's not like porn is hard to find on the internet.
 
2012-03-13 11:05:12 AM  

bluehubcap: Andrew Wiggin: afterwards i like to say 'that'll do, pig, that'll do'

I thought the whole point to self love is that you don't have to talk to yourself afterwards.


wrong. i have to hold myself too.
 
2012-03-13 11:05:13 AM  
Hitachi magic wand, that is all
 
2012-03-13 11:06:36 AM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: You got man-raped in your own bathroom? The guy was just waiting there for you? That's some rough house you got.


These things happen at Cecilia's place.
 
2012-03-13 11:06:59 AM  

BurnShrike: I like girls to moan a bit in pornos. I hate when it's over-dubbed. Everyone knows it's fake. Her mouth isn't even open.


only way to know it isn't fake is if she squirts like a water fountain.

or when you can feel her muscles contracting.

/mmmm pregnant chicks
 
2012-03-13 11:07:15 AM  
My wife doesn't care how I feel about my lousy performance. Hell, I've had to check her pulse a couple of times.

It stings a bit, though, when she pulls out the Kindle.

/Mostly kidding.
 
2012-03-13 11:09:30 AM  

groppet: I asked my roomate about htis because she has been louder with her latest victim than her previous. She told me the latest guy likes it louder not that he was any better than the last one.


I think the fact that you refer to them as victims pretty much explains it all.
 
2012-03-13 11:09:33 AM  

karnal: I like to hum "it's a small world after all" during and "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" when I'm done.


Probably what she was thinking all the while.
 
2012-03-13 11:09:45 AM  
Usually some uncomfortable staring reminiscent of Quinn's shark story then a "really?" or two followed by a deep sense of shame, awkward dismount and skulking away.
 
2012-03-13 11:10:47 AM  

Pocket Ninja: But sexual self-esteem is a two-way street, and, for their part during sex, guys should aim for more than a single grunt at the end.

What about a soft sigh at the beginning as you sheath your fleshy sword and THEN a single grunt at the end? Is that enough?


What? Now I have to converse during sex also??
 
2012-03-13 11:10:52 AM  

Omnivorous: In the book, "Sex at Dawn", the authors contend that she's advertising for other partners.


interesting
 
2012-03-13 11:10:58 AM  
OK, so the moaning, sure, but what about the sucking-air-through-your-teeth noise they make in the movies? What's that supposed to do for me?
 
2012-03-13 11:11:42 AM  
100% of men put up with days of women's bullshiat for a few moments of physical enjoyment.

/I kid
//somewhat
 
2012-03-13 11:12:09 AM  
Me: What's the matter, did I hurt you?
Mrs.: No, why?
Me: You moved.
 
2012-03-13 11:14:01 AM  

PeriRies: I don't mind a little moaning, but outright screams are a turn off.

That's why duct tape is an integral part of my sex life.


Close enough, my work has been done, moving to next thread.

/RTFA? not a chance.

Johnny Savage: My wife doesn't care how I feel about my lousy performance. Hell, I've had to check her pulse a couple of times.

It stings a bit, though, when she pulls out the Kindle butt plug.

/Mostly kidding.


Sorry, I spotted that right before hitting [Add Comment] and just couldn't let it go
 
2012-03-13 11:15:22 AM  
surrenderdorothy.typepad.com

/better not be obscure
 
2012-03-13 11:15:41 AM  

PeriRies: That's why duct tape is an integral part of my sex life.


i.qkme.me
 
2012-03-13 11:16:06 AM  

just passing through: talking about fantasies while we fark


i.imgur.com
 
2012-03-13 11:18:45 AM  
Meh, a woman lies to a man about his poor sex performance and a man lies to woman about her fat ass.
 
2012-03-13 11:19:18 AM  
and boom goes the dynomite

/made the missus yell out in bed. I was on her hair...

(rimshot)
 
2012-03-13 11:20:05 AM  
If she can't get off during the 30 seconds of heaven I give her then that's her problem.
 
2012-03-13 11:20:08 AM  
Just go with fisting......moans & screams are always a sure thing :)

images.stuffofawesome.com
 
2012-03-13 11:22:54 AM  
during sex i usually ululate the mexican anthem.
 
2012-03-13 11:25:45 AM  
Hilarious effing thread. Let's get this stem cell thing going so we can graft tongues on our wangs to correspond to the woman's G Spot. Hell that might even save some marriages!
 
2012-03-13 11:28:30 AM  

Pocket Ninja: But sexual self-esteem is a two-way street, and, for their part during sex, guys should aim for more than a single grunt at the end.

What about a soft sigh at the beginning as you sheath your fleshy sword and THEN a single grunt at the end? Is that enough?


Sound of FAIL. Most women aren't going to get off on your dicking them. If they aren't practically convulsing, you didn't take care of them right. That grunt you hear means, "Glad that's over - maybe I can finish watching that movie now"
 
2012-03-13 11:29:07 AM  
i'm deaf, so it doesn't matter to me. maybe an O face.
 
2012-03-13 11:30:34 AM  
thats cool, because 90% of men admit to intentional "poor performance"

ie "looking out for number one"
 
2012-03-13 11:30:51 AM  
I like it when she puts my ballbag in her mouth and hums the National Anthem.
 
2012-03-13 11:31:21 AM  

your average maint. man: i'm deaf, so it doesn't matter to me. maybe an O face.


i said OH BABY OH BABY
 
2012-03-13 11:32:28 AM  
It's better when they cry, and I don't need their help with that.
 
2012-03-13 11:32:33 AM  

kagemaru026: thats cool, because 90% of men admit to intentional "poor performance"

ie "looking out for number one"


graphjam.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-03-13 11:33:33 AM  

BurnShrike: I like girls to moan a bit in pornos. I hate when it's over-dubbed. Everyone knows it's fake. Her mouth isn't even open.

I also hate the noises asian pornesses make. That sharp high-pitched "eee" sound really pisses me off. I just want to slap the stupid woman. If the porno's really hot I'll just mute the sound, but usually I just click a different link. It's not like porn is hard to find on the internet.


That's not just the pornesses. That's a thing with Asian girls in general I think. The first time I heard it from my asian ex-gf I almost busted out laughing it was so absurd. It was like a tea kettle.
 
2012-03-13 11:34:18 AM  

insano: BurnShrike: I like girls to moan a bit in pornos. I hate when it's over-dubbed. Everyone knows it's fake. Her mouth isn't even open.

I also hate the noises asian pornesses make. That sharp high-pitched "eee" sound really pisses me off. I just want to slap the stupid woman. If the porno's really hot I'll just mute the sound, but usually I just click a different link. It's not like porn is hard to find on the internet.

That's not just the pornesses. That's a thing with Asian girls in general I think. The first time I heard it from my asian ex-gf I almost busted out laughing it was so absurd. It was like a tea kettle.


My asian girlfriend does not make squeaky toy sounds.

Sorry to burst your bubble.
 
2012-03-13 11:35:03 AM  

insano: BurnShrike: I like girls to moan a bit in pornos. I hate when it's over-dubbed. Everyone knows it's fake. Her mouth isn't even open.

I also hate the noises asian pornesses make. That sharp high-pitched "eee" sound really pisses me off. I just want to slap the stupid woman. If the porno's really hot I'll just mute the sound, but usually I just click a different link. It's not like porn is hard to find on the internet.

That's not just the pornesses. That's a thing with Asian girls in general I think. The first time I heard it from my asian ex-gf I almost busted out laughing it was so absurd. It was like a tea kettle.


Really? Real women actually do that? I think I might laugh if someone actually thought that was what I wanted to hear.
 
2012-03-13 11:35:44 AM  
Probably the same 87% who just lay there and make me do all the work. Sorry hun if the sex is bad it is probably you not me, learn to fark instead of just lying like a sack of potatoes looking pretty.
 
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