FARK.com: (6990934) Girls commit suicide in bid to travel back in time

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		Girls commit suicide in bid to travel back in time (ktla.com)		147
		More: Strange, China Daily, More Stories

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22819 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2012 at 3:01 AM | Favorite | share:

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phlegmmo		2012-03-12 10:42:26 PM

"That is not how time travel works!"
t0.gstatic.com

MaudlinMutantMollusk		2012-03-12 10:46:18 PM

Well, they are in the past now

/and late

Relatively Obscure		2012-03-12 10:47:04 PM

A newspaper in Southeast China conducted an informal survey of elementary school students, finding that 14 of 16 children believed that time travel was possible.

It did not say whether it asked the students if they believed death was the only method through which they could travel in time, according to the Wall Street Journal.

Thank you, article, for that bit of information.

talulahgosh		2012-03-12 11:07:10 PM

were they daytimers or nighttimers?

Ambivalence		2012-03-12 11:19:47 PM

I can actually see that as a means of travelling FORWARD in time, you know, reincarnation and all.

but backwards? what the heck? Why can't they put some crystal powered electrical zapper in their crotch like normal people.

Hector Remarkable		2012-03-12 11:57:19 PM

I wonder if this has anything to do with Hitler never existing.

violentsalvation		2012-03-13 12:00:10 AM

I've done that a few times. The future sucks, what can I say?

FirstNationalBastard		2012-03-13 12:00:20 AM

They sound like they may have been TARD(IS)ed

MaudlinMutantMollusk		2012-03-13 12:11:12 AM

Hector Remarkable: I wonder if this has anything to do with Hitler never existing.

who?

Peter von Nostrand		2012-03-13 12:14:59 AM

I dunno, just because

2.bp.blogspot.com

Hector Remarkable		2012-03-13 12:36:32 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Hector Remarkable: I wonder if this has anything to do with Hitler never existing.

who?

Hmm, I see...

ArkAngel		2012-03-13 12:40:13 AM

God damn you, Frank

doglover		2012-03-13 01:00:07 AM

Ambivalence: I can actually see that as a means of travelling FORWARD in time, you know, reincarnation all

Actually, all major religions with a reincarnation element also have some interesting things to say about the non-linear nature of time. The Buddha famously had many incarnations laid out in a work whose name escapes my memory at the moment. They were non-linear.

Contrabulous Flabtraption		2012-03-13 01:52:49 AM

What a couple of stupid sluts

RancidSorbet		2012-03-13 01:55:49 AM

Well? Did it work?

Paris1127		2012-03-13 02:13:07 AM

Pfft, morans. You need to be wearing all black clothing (and Nike sneakers), have $5.75 in your pockets, a stomach full of applesauce, phenobarbital and vodak and have a purple cloth draped over your body in order to... wait, that's the procedure for hitching a ride with the UFO travelling behind the Hale-Bopp Comet, isn't it? Never mind...

Darth_Lukecash		2012-03-13 02:17:21 AM

doglover: Ambivalence: I can actually see that as a means of travelling FORWARD in time, you know, reincarnation all

Actually, all major religions with a reincarnation element also have some interesting things to say about the non-linear nature of time. The Buddha famously had many incarnations laid out in a work whose name escapes my memory at the moment. They were non-linear.

I think it was called Slaughter House 5

Hector Remarkable		2012-03-13 02:24:15 AM

RancidSorbet: Well? Did it work?

Did what work? Hey, why isn't this site called "RancidSorbet's Fark.com" anymore?

CygnusDarius		2012-03-13 03:03:46 AM

wildcardjack		2012-03-13 03:05:44 AM

Ambivalence: I can actually see that as a means of travelling FORWARD in time, you know, reincarnation and all.

but backwards? what the heck? Why can't they put some crystal powered electrical zapper in their crotch like normal people.

This is preincarnation. It's a part of ancestor worship, where you respect your elders because the elder might be you.

AverageAmericanGuy		2012-03-13 03:06:21 AM

Darth_Lukecash: doglover: Ambivalence: I can actually see that as a means of travelling FORWARD in time, you know, reincarnation all

Actually, all major religions with a reincarnation element also have some interesting things to say about the non-linear nature of time. The Buddha famously had many incarnations laid out in a work whose name escapes my memory at the moment. They were non-linear.

I think it was called Slaughter House 5

I don't think Billy Pilgrim was dying, so much as he was flipping back and forth into various avatars throughout time and space.

gwenners		2012-03-13 03:06:33 AM

So that's how it works...
enjoytherandom.com

gwenners		2012-03-13 03:07:29 AM

CygnusDarius

Dangit!

Neondistraction		2012-03-13 03:07:30 AM

talulahgosh: were they daytimers or nighttimers?

Nighttimers, obviously. Daytimers are a bunch of squares, they'd never try something crazy like that.

Uchiha_Cycliste		2012-03-13 03:09:03 AM

I'll tell you what, they have left the normal time stream. They are no longer travelling forward in time like the rest of us, So they weren't *entirely* unsuccessful.

Uchiha_Cycliste		2012-03-13 03:10:09 AM

FTFA:
The girls, both 12, left behind a suicide note in which one girl indicated her death was motivated by dreams of traveling to space and of shooting a film with the emperor of the Qing Dynasty.
According to the newspaper the other girl feared telling her parents that she lost a remote control to the garage door.

Wow... I'm speechless.

Dalek Caan's doomed mistress		2012-03-13 03:11:32 AM

Wow, the Doctor has gotten a lot more picky about how he's choosing his companions these days. Rory does not approve.

Gothnet		2012-03-13 03:11:40 AM

Uchiha_Cycliste: FTFA:
The girls, both 12, left behind a suicide note in which one girl indicated her death was motivated by dreams of traveling to space and of shooting a film with the emperor of the Qing Dynasty.
According to the newspaper the other girl feared telling her parents that she lost a remote control to the garage door.

Wow... I'm speechless.

Yeah, just read that part. She was so scared of her parents finding out she lost the garage remote that she killed herself. Jeus H Chang....

1000 Ways to Dye		2012-03-13 03:12:08 AM

So... did it work?

Hector Remarkable		2012-03-13 03:13:39 AM

1000 Ways to Dye: So... did it work?

Did what work? Hey, why isn't this site called "1000 Ways to Dye's Fark.com" anymore?

Harv72b		2012-03-13 03:13:59 AM

Eh...two young daughters in China who drowned themselves in a pond and left a strange suicide note behind. That doesn't seem suspicious at all.

KrispyKritter		2012-03-13 03:14:59 AM

hotlink

Cpl.D		2012-03-13 03:18:22 AM

This is what happens in societies where critical thinking skills and good education are hard to come by. But hell, we don't have much to worry about. It's not like we're getting massive cuts in science and kooks are presented as equals on TV or...

... I might as well stop now. We're doomed.

matthew_tray		2012-03-13 03:19:02 AM

No bill & Ted references yet? Fark, I am disappoint.

/Bogus

tankjr		2012-03-13 03:21:20 AM

It was their only option really. No one else was going to tell their past selves to not have sex with m... some other sexual predator.

Fluorescent Testicle		2012-03-13 03:22:53 AM

Close the world, open the next.

GrySovCob		2012-03-13 03:23:14 AM

Suddenly makes this story less dumb and more clairvoyant.

China Bans Time Travel (new window)

GuidoDelConfuso		2012-03-13 03:23:38 AM

According to the newspaper the other girl feared telling her parents that she lost a remote control to the garage door.

She truly an hero.

Uchiha_Cycliste		2012-03-13 03:24:12 AM

Gothnet: Uchiha_Cycliste: FTFA:
The girls, both 12, left behind a suicide note in which one girl indicated her death was motivated by dreams of traveling to space and of shooting a film with the emperor of the Qing Dynasty.
According to the newspaper the other girl feared telling her parents that she lost a remote control to the garage door.

Wow... I'm speechless.

Yeah, just read that part. She was so scared of her parents finding out she lost the garage remote that she killed herself. Jeus H Chang....

Way to go Tiger Mom... way to drive home how nothing in life is more important than provoking your unhappiness. Yup, fantastic job raising your daughter.

farkingismybusiness		2012-03-13 03:24:31 AM

Harv72b: Eh...two young daughters in China who drowned themselves in a pond and left a strange suicide note behind. That doesn't seem suspicious at all.

You're right.
www.dailycomedy.com

Something smells fishy.

1000 Ways to Dye		2012-03-13 03:24:55 AM

Hector Remarkable: 1000 Ways to Dye: So... did it work?

Did what work? Hey, why isn't this site called "1000 Ways to Dye's Fark.com" anymore?

I knew it! Drew commits suicide in the near future!
Where's my rope? I'm gonna beat him to it.

Need_MindBleach		2012-03-13 03:27:32 AM

Considering that China has, on and off, banned movies and TV shows that depict time travel (among many other things banned) for allegedly inducing strange ideas into the populace or some other nonsense, I'm going to say this story sounds like.......bullshiat!

Considering no other government that I've heard of has banned depictions of time travel, it's just too big of a coincidence.

Ronin FF		2012-03-13 03:34:49 AM

We are all, every one of us, doing it wrong.

Mateorabi		2012-03-13 03:35:53 AM

Suicidal time travel?
images.wikia.com

Approves.

Now to go listen to 'Downtown.'

Hector Remarkable		2012-03-13 03:36:35 AM

1000 Ways to Dye: Hector Remarkable: 1000 Ways to Dye: So... did it work?

Did what work? Hey, why isn't this site called "1000 Ways to Dye's Fark.com" anymore?

I knew it! Drew commits suicide in the near future!
Where's my rope? I'm gonna beat him to it.

Forget about the future! It's done for! We've got to save the PAST! These girls were obviously successful and if things continue like this, whole places or people like ourselves might just simply cease to e

Demogorgon		2012-03-13 03:41:09 AM

If you kill yourself with a revolver, you get to be a cowboy.

Hector Remarkable		2012-03-13 03:42:07 AM

----------comment deleted -----------

No such user log in on Andrew Breitbart's Fark.com

calbert		2012-03-13 03:42:23 AM

Need_MindBleach: Considering that China has, on and off, banned movies and TV shows that depict time travel (among many other things banned) for allegedly inducing strange ideas into the populace or some other nonsense, I'm going to say this story sounds like.......bullshiat!

Considering no other government that I've heard of has banned depictions of time travel, it's just too big of a coincidence.

here's a better article when this was news last week:

Double Suicide Revives China Time Travel Debate/ Wall Street Journal (new window)

Xenomech		2012-03-13 03:45:54 AM

A newspaper in Southeast China conducted an informal survey of elementary school students, finding that 14 of 16 children believed that time travel was possible.

Goddamn, kids are stupid these days.