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(Boing Boing)   From the 'what-if' files: Here's the script for the untitled Gary Coleman/Emmanuel Lewis buddy-pic that was going to be produced by Michael Bay   (boingboing.net) divider line 52
    More: Weird, Gary Coleman, Michael Bay, Emmanuel Lewis  
•       •       •

2309 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Mar 2012 at 5:51 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



52 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-03-12 02:45:28 PM  
Gary Coleman? I loved him in "What's Happening"
 
2012-03-12 02:49:53 PM  
Wow...that's really all I can say...wow.
 
2012-03-12 02:58:14 PM  
A friend of mine just got a role in an upcoming Michael Bay movie... I still don't know whether to feel happy for her or not.
 
2012-03-12 03:10:46 PM  

timujin: A friend of mine just got a role in an upcoming Michael Bay movie... I still don't know whether to feel happy for her or not.


Is your friend a ridiculously hot woman?
 
2012-03-12 03:12:12 PM  

mitchcumstein1: timujin: A friend of mine just got a role in an upcoming Michael Bay movie... I still don't know whether to feel happy for her or not.

Is your friend a ridiculously hot woman?


Or a loud violent explosion?
 
2012-03-12 03:13:35 PM  
Jinky's Cafe is a pretty good breakfast spot, but tends to get crowded.
Also, I've actually been yelled at by Michael Bay.
 
2012-03-12 03:24:03 PM  
Bad 1/2 Boys
 
2012-03-12 03:27:33 PM  

mitchcumstein1: timujin: A friend of mine just got a role in an upcoming Michael Bay movie... I still don't know whether to feel happy for her or not.

Is your friend a ridiculously hot woman?


Yes
 
2012-03-12 03:32:29 PM  
Bantum Buddies?
 
2012-03-12 03:33:53 PM  

timujin: mitchcumstein1: timujin: A friend of mine just got a role in an upcoming Michael Bay movie... I still don't know whether to feel happy for her or not.

Is your friend a ridiculously hot woman?

Yes


Did she "wash his car" to get the role?
 
2012-03-12 03:35:16 PM  

mitchcumstein1: timujin: mitchcumstein1: timujin: A friend of mine just got a role in an upcoming Michael Bay movie... I still don't know whether to feel happy for her or not.

Is your friend a ridiculously hot woman?

Yes

Did she "wash his car" to get the role?


Whle that would normally be my suspicion, she is inordinately devoted to her husband, so I find it unlikely.
 
2012-03-12 03:44:32 PM  

timujin: mitchcumstein1: timujin: mitchcumstein1: timujin: A friend of mine just got a role in an upcoming Michael Bay movie... I still don't know whether to feel happy for her or not.

Is your friend a ridiculously hot woman?

Yes

Did she "wash his car" to get the role?

Whle that would normally be my suspicion, she is inordinately devoted to her husband, so I find it unlikely.


She's going to have to get past that if she wants to make it in this town.

That town.

I have no idea what I'm talking about
 
2012-03-12 03:58:38 PM  

timujin: A friend of mine just got a role in an upcoming Michael Bay movie... I still don't know whether to feel happy for her or not.


You should send her flowers...THAT EXPLODE!!!
 
2012-03-12 05:56:39 PM  

Bukharin: Gary Coleman? I loved him in "What's Happening"


He also did an excellent job as Bill Lumbergh in Office Space.
 
2012-03-12 05:56:51 PM  

timujin: A friend of mine just got a role in an upcoming Michael Bay movie... I still don't know whether to feel happy for her or not.


yes, by all means feel happy for her! whether you like michael bay's movies or not, they're usually pretty big hits and for anyone to have a role in a hit movie is a big deal
 
2012-03-12 05:58:54 PM  

Atomic Spunk: Bukharin: Gary Coleman? I loved him in "What's Happening"

He also did an excellent job as Bill Lumbergh in Office Space.


yes he certainly did

/whatchu talkin' 'bout, lumbergh?
 
2012-03-12 06:02:59 PM  
You could say the duo's movie star aspirations....

*sunglasses*

...came up a little short.

YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
 
2012-03-12 06:18:21 PM  
Chocolate CHiPs
 
2012-03-12 06:21:17 PM  
Weird. WTF was the intended film title,Short Fuse Blues?
 
2012-03-12 06:32:12 PM  
I loved Gary Coleman in Avenue Q and was surprised he didn't do more Broadway after that
 
2012-03-12 06:32:39 PM  
Well I guess that's....

*sunglasses*

...no big loss.

YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
 
2012-03-12 06:34:53 PM  
Gary Coleman and Webster save the US?

Would have totally watched.
 
2012-03-12 06:36:50 PM  
Agents of S.H.O.R.T.
 
2012-03-12 06:38:19 PM  

bungle_jr: timujin: A friend of mine just got a role in an upcoming Michael Bay movie... I still don't know whether to feel happy for her or not.

yes, by all means feel happy for her! whether you like michael bay's movies or not, they're usually pretty big hits and for anyone to have a role in a hit movie is a big deal


I wasn't remotely serious, of course it's awesome that she not only got a role, but a lead role at that. It's going to do amazing things for her career. She's been moving up a little each year, first a Super Bowl commercial, then a couple of appearances on broadcast shows, another national commercial or two and now this. Good on her.
 
2012-03-12 06:40:08 PM  
Brokeback Molehill.
 
2012-03-12 06:40:32 PM  

Atomic Spunk: Bukharin: Gary Coleman? I loved him in "What's Happening"

He also did an excellent job as Bill Lumbergh in Office Space.


You're thinking of Gary Oldman.
 
2012-03-12 06:41:25 PM  

timujin: bungle_jr: timujin: A friend of mine just got a role in an upcoming Michael Bay movie... I still don't know whether to feel happy for her or not.

yes, by all means feel happy for her! whether you like michael bay's movies or not, they're usually pretty big hits and for anyone to have a role in a hit movie is a big deal

I wasn't remotely serious, of course it's awesome that she not only got a role, but a lead role at that. It's going to do amazing things for her career. She's been moving up a little each year, first a Super Bowl commercial, then a couple of appearances on broadcast shows, another national commercial or two and now this. Good on her.


well, glad to see you weren't serious! yes, that's a very big deal!
 
2012-03-12 06:42:12 PM  

bugmn99: Atomic Spunk: Bukharin: Gary Coleman? I loved him in "What's Happening"

He also did an excellent job as Bill Lumbergh in Office Space.

You're thinking of Gary Oldman.


gary oldman should've been in office space...and EVERY movie ever!
 
2012-03-12 06:45:30 PM  

bungle_jr: bugmn99: Atomic Spunk: Bukharin: Gary Coleman? I loved him in "What's Happening"

He also did an excellent job as Bill Lumbergh in Office Space.

You're thinking of Gary Oldman.

gary oldman should've been in office space...and EVERY movie ever!


You mean Old Man Creed, he's been on The Office since episode 1.
 
2012-03-12 06:45:50 PM  
Two and a Half Half-men?
 
2012-03-12 06:46:42 PM  

TheManofPA: I loved Gary Coleman in Avenue Q and was surprised he didn't do more Broadway after that


It's probbly because he died.

/I'm leaving the typo because it works, dammit.
 
2012-03-12 06:47:38 PM  
It would have had a short run.
 
2012-03-12 06:49:11 PM  

olomana: bungle_jr: bugmn99: Atomic Spunk: Bukharin: Gary Coleman? I loved him in "What's Happening"

He also did an excellent job as Bill Lumbergh in Office Space.

You're thinking of Gary Oldman.

gary oldman should've been in office space...and EVERY movie ever!

You mean Old Man Creed, he's been on The Office since episode 1.


oh, so gary oldman was in the band the grass roots?
 
2012-03-12 07:04:53 PM  
Michael Bay?
images114.fotki.com
He blowed them up real good.
 
2012-03-12 07:13:10 PM  

bungle_jr: olomana: bungle_jr: bugmn99: Atomic Spunk: Bukharin: Gary Coleman? I loved him in "What's Happening"

He also did an excellent job as Bill Lumbergh in Office Space.

You're thinking of Gary Oldman.

gary oldman should've been in office space...and EVERY movie ever!

You mean Old Man Creed, he's been on The Office since episode 1.

oh, so gary oldman was in the band the grass roots?


Close, Gary Oldman was in the Sex Pistols.
 
2012-03-12 07:28:24 PM  

olomana: bungle_jr: bugmn99: Atomic Spunk: Bukharin: Gary Coleman? I loved him in "What's Happening"

He also did an excellent job as Bill Lumbergh in Office Space.

You're thinking of Gary Oldman.

gary oldman should've been in office space...and EVERY movie ever!

You mean Old Man Creed, he's been on The Office since episode 1.


You mean Apollo Creed. He was awesome in "Ali".
 
2012-03-12 07:42:48 PM  
Was it titled Dwarfspolsion?
 
2012-03-12 07:57:28 PM  
What a shame. With Michael Bay's expertise with explosions, this could have been the best midget porn movie of all time.
 
2012-03-12 08:03:32 PM  
Meh. I don't care for short films.
 
2012-03-12 08:34:50 PM  
jizzinmypants.jpg
 
2012-03-12 09:05:19 PM  

olomana: bungle_jr: olomana: bungle_jr: bugmn99: Atomic Spunk: Bukharin: Gary Coleman? I loved him in "What's Happening"

He also did an excellent job as Bill Lumbergh in Office Space.

You're thinking of Gary Oldman.

gary oldman should've been in office space...and EVERY movie ever!

You mean Old Man Creed, he's been on The Office since episode 1.

oh, so gary oldman was in the band the grass roots?

Close, Gary Oldman was in the Sex Pistols.


no no no, Gary Oldman wrote Tubular Bells.
 
2012-03-12 09:30:41 PM  

timujin: bungle_jr: timujin: A friend of mine just got a role in an upcoming Michael Bay movie... I still don't know whether to feel happy for her or not.

yes, by all means feel happy for her! whether you like michael bay's movies or not, they're usually pretty big hits and for anyone to have a role in a hit movie is a big deal

I wasn't remotely serious, of course it's awesome that she not only got a role, but a lead role at that. It's going to do amazing things for her career. She's been moving up a little each year, first a Super Bowl commercial, then a couple of appearances on broadcast shows, another national commercial or two and now this. Good on her.


Does she have an IMDB page?
 
2012-03-12 09:55:51 PM  
dyn-o-mite!!
 
2012-03-12 10:16:52 PM  

James Scameron: olomana: bungle_jr: olomana: bungle_jr: bugmn99: Atomic Spunk: Bukharin: Gary Coleman? I loved him in "What's Happening"

He also did an excellent job as Bill Lumbergh in Office Space.

You're thinking of Gary Oldman.

gary oldman should've been in office space...and EVERY movie ever!

You mean Old Man Creed, he's been on The Office since episode 1.

oh, so gary oldman was in the band the grass roots?

Close, Gary Oldman was in the Sex Pistols.

no no no, Gary Oldman wrote Tubular Bells.


Oh, man, that was the scariest scene when they played that song in Nightmare on Elm Street.
 
2012-03-12 10:23:31 PM  
Halfrican Americans?
 
2012-03-12 10:53:52 PM  
It could be retooled for a Jaleel White/Dustin Diamond film, so the world is still not yet safe!
dustindiamond.fansiter.comwww.toptenz.net
 
2012-03-12 10:55:24 PM  

propasaurus: Jinky's Cafe is a pretty good breakfast spot, but tends to get crowded.
Also, I've actually been yelled at by Michael Bay.


Isn't that kinda something to be proud of, like getting hate mail from Hitler?
 
2012-03-12 11:21:08 PM  
propasaurus Jinky's Cafe is a pretty good breakfast spot, but tends to get crowded.
THIS
Also, I've actually been yelled at by Michael Bay.

What commercial was this on & what did he call you?

titwrench Does she have an IMDB page?

Yes, so she enjoy the same career boost "Mustard Guy" & these 2 got?
Link (new window)
Link (new window)
 
2012-03-13 12:03:40 AM  

titwrench: timujin: bungle_jr: timujin: A friend of mine just got a role in an upcoming Michael Bay movie... I still don't know whether to feel happy for her or not.

yes, by all means feel happy for her! whether you like michael bay's movies or not, they're usually pretty big hits and for anyone to have a role in a hit movie is a big deal

I wasn't remotely serious, of course it's awesome that she not only got a role, but a lead role at that. It's going to do amazing things for her career. She's been moving up a little each year, first a Super Bowl commercial, then a couple of appearances on broadcast shows, another national commercial or two and now this. Good on her.

Does she have an IMDB page?


Yes, of course.

Bar Paly
 
2012-03-13 03:29:55 AM  

Bukharin: Gary Coleman? I loved him in "What's Happening"


I loved Emmanuel Lewis as Short Round

www.indianajones5.com
R.I.P. Shorty
 
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