I love squirrels. I put out peanuts and dried fruit to attract them to my yard. That it annoys some people is just an added bonus.

I_Am_Weasel: Bathia_Mapes: Ambivalence: First of all, a drinking straw is not a "device".

Second of all squirrels are a menace and should be killed on sight.

I agree with the first, but heartily disagree with your second statement.

Don't think of them as cute little squirrels, think of them as nasty tree rats. (not a band name)

I seriously hate those beady eyed bastards; they run rampant through my yard. But that is a cute pic.

He musta had a SET OF BALLS on him!

Ambivalence: First of all, a drinking straw is not a "device".

Second of all squirrels are a menace and should be killed on sight.

de·vice/diˈvīs/

Noun:

1.A thing made or adapted for a particular task, esp. a mechanism or electronic instrument.
2.An explosive contrivance; a bomb.

You are correct. A straw is not a bomb.

A straw is a device.

Coming on a Bicycle: A straw is a device.

Yes, but not a "humans only" device. It does not require any significant levels of intelligence, opposable thumbs, or any other combination of attributes that are specifically human.

I_Am_Weasel:
Don't think of them as cute little squirrels, think of them as nasty tree rats. (not a band name)

And make them wear yellow stars, too.

Desquirrelizing your enemies to make it easier to be insquirrelane to them...

Ambivalence:
Second of all squirrels are a menace amusing and should be killed fed peanuts on sight.

FTFY

/squirrels amuse me.
//unless they get in the house. THEN their days are numbered.

Ambivalence: First of all, a drinking straw is not a "device".

Second of all squirrels are a menace and should be killed on sight.

Couldn't agree with you more. F*cking fat long tailed rats. There's a plague of them in our area. Black, brown and red squirrels. They chew through wiring, chew holes into the sides of houses and sheds, get stuck in the soil vents of houses, get into attics, dig up bulbs and under decks, chew into tarping, you name they'll destroy it. I hate the damn things. They're always in our garbage unless you bungee the lid on. Enough already. Cull the damn things. Even the neighbourhood cats have given up trying to thin the population.

Slives:
For the most part, I am neutral about them, except for when they starting trying to chase the birds away from the feeders I put up. The were squirrel proof feeders, but that didn't stop them from trying to get to the food and chasing off anybody else that tried to use them. I wanted the birds to come feed, but since they could not, I took down the feeders and refuse to feed the squirrels either.

Bwahahahaha... There is no such thing a squirrel-PROOF bird feeder, only squirrel-RESISTANT feeders. They will figure out how to get into any bird feeder if given enough time.

I think there's some agency that rates bird feeders by the number of minutes it takes an average squirrel to figure it out.
A 10 rating = 10 minutes.
A 20 rating = 20 minutes.
...and so forth.

/jk
//pretty smart little rodents

hot, like a bad nut in the incinerator

Sybarite: Squirrels, we're not delicious
Squirrels, we are not racoons
Squirrels, don't live in palm trees
Squirrels, or in your bathroom

a squirrel broke into my house a couple years ago. it took me and my cat working together to trap and release the little mother.

I found his entry point, there was a hole underneath the kitchen sink through which one could put their whole hand.

/ still loves squirrels, but they are the hardest rodent to remove from your house. they're too quick for the cat. all other rodents are easy to remove, my cat just kills them and I discard their mangled, tortured carcasses.
// but mouse traps are real inhumane. feline rodent extermination is PETA approved, I'm pretty sure.

Shadow Blasko: Yeah... Squirrels can use straws.

So can raccoons, groundhogs, cats, and ferrets.

I am sure there are many other animals that can figure out "Hmm, this smells yummy.. and there seems to be a concentration of yummy smell in this little tube. Hmmm, when I was a baby, I could suck on things and nummy food came out, maybe I'll try that. I'll be damned! It works!"

Wildlife is generally smarter than most post think. (Or even, smarter than most people)

FTA:Thirsty: The squirrel decides to forgo the straw and drink straight out of the glass

This means they are more advanced than some college students, and some adults.

THOSE DAMN SQUIRRELS; THEY'RE STEALING MY NUTS!

/ they really are
// furry little bastards
/ squirrel?!

I for one hail our new squirrely overlords. I'd be nice to have a boss you can bribe with a peanut.

/Surprised it wasn't up there yet.

Grandemadaca: Ambivalence:
Second of all squirrels are a menace amusing and should be killed fed peanuts on sight.


Pro-tip: Never feed squirrels from the porch/deck of your house. They will come to associate your house with "food comes from within" and will come knocking on your door (literally).

/you'll be lucky if that's all they do
//they get a bowl of nuts from me out in the backyard around Christmas time
///I enjoy the little bastages

Am I the only one who saw squirrel porn in the last picture?

Sounds like a fun photoshop topic to me...

my first thought (w/o RTFA) was what- a bulldozer?


that said, I miss our sqirrels. last year, very close to every single farking one of our
grey squirrels died off. they used to be as numerous as,well, squirrels. now if i see one
it's a topic of conversation- "hey- I saw a sqirrel today"....

it came around because of feeding them- their numbers were artificially high. having so many
squirrels in close proximity lead to the spread of mites in the population. THAT lead to
the mange. and the mange killed 'em all within two years.

That's not alarming.

When they can make their own coffee, call me.

Soon...

Slives: For the most part, I am neutral about them, except for when they starting trying to chase the birds away from the feeders I put up. The were squirrel proof feeders, but that didn't stop them from trying to get to the food and chasing off anybody else that tried to use them. I wanted the birds to come feed, but since they could not, I took down the feeders and refuse to feed the squirrels either.

You're attracting the wrong birds. Feed those squirrels. Then let hawks and big birds move in and feed. The neighbor feeds the squirrels and pigeons. Our back yard has no trees and the deck is the perfect perch for large birds. It's not uncommon to observe the hawk in action.

I'm all for cute animal stuff, but I found the related article about the chick drinking gasoline more interesting.

/I'd let that honey make my motor hum

God I loathe British newspapers and their shiatty, completely forced puns.

If squirrels are able to get into your feeder, you just need to re-think how your feeder is set up. Make sure it's at least 8ft. from any tree limbs, bushes or other tall perches. Install a baffle (the "torpedo" style works pretty reliably). If you can't get the feeder out from under the trees, consider adding a wide dome- or cone-shaped baffle over the roof, so the little marauders will just slip off onto the ground.

I need to get me a Squirrel-a-Whirl (pops)

Squirrels are messengers from God.

Witnessed a squirrel gang rape two years ago. Squirrels growl and bark EXACTLY like chihuahuas.

I will shoot that squirrel.

Wulfhardt: If squirrels are able to get into your feeder, you just need to re-think how your feeder is set up. Make sure it's at least 8ft. from any tree limbs, bushes or other tall perches. Install a baffle (the "torpedo" style works pretty reliably). If you can't get the feeder out from under the trees, consider adding a wide dome- or cone-shaped baffle over the roof, so the little marauders will just slip off onto the ground.

Unfortunately, in our around trees is the best place for bird feeders. I've found one and only one squirrel-proof feeder that really works: Link (new window) They can do nothing with this and it frustrates them to no end. But I feed the little buggers, too. I just don't like them going through 10 lbs/wk of expensive black oil sunflower seeds. I like squirrels. They're funny as hell. My sister gave me one of those feeders that spin the squirrel off. It works pretty good, except there is one clever squirrel who has figured out that he can spin around until he's too dizzy to hold on, but, if he keeps at it, the battery will die and then he can have at it.

It could be worse...

Squirrels are not the only scary-smart woodland pest in your backyard.

Crow makes a goddamn tool to get the job done, with no training or experience (video, new window)

The backstory (new window)

Ambivalence: First of all, a drinking straw is not a "device".

it's an emergency induction port.

Talking starling (video, new window)

My CSB:

Was walking around campus one morning, heard a blue-jay's distinctive jay-scream. Blue jays frequently talk to one another, loudly, as anybody in the Midwest can attest. But I heard a second voice, another bluejay, only this one sounded a bit hoarse, like he had a sore throat. I got closer to the second one and looked up in the tree to find it. The bird I saw wasn't a bluejay at all--it was a starling, mimicking a bluejay scream well enough to satisfy the actual bluejay. Totally made my morning.

We don't have mockingbirds, at least not in my area of Missouri, but I saw them plenty on the east coast. Mockingbirds know a lot of calls too, but they tend to go through their repertoire in a single sitting and seemingly at random. The starling was clearly using a single call to his advantage.

This seems good enough place as ever to post this...

Damnit, wrong thread....

Ambivalence: First of all, a drinking straw is not a "device".

Second of all squirrels are a menace and should be killed on sight.

Actually, according to Webster, A drinking straw could be considered to be a device.

Device (new window)

indarwinsshadow: Ambivalence:
Second of all squirrels are a menace and should be killed on sight.
Couldn't agree with you more. F*cking fat long tailed rats... Even the neighbourhood cats have given up trying to thin the population.

For thinning I recommend the following tool. Get the .177 cal if you are going to stick to squirrel. If you want larger pests like raccoon I recommend the .22 cal.
Benjamin Trail NP (new window)

If you are adventurous and like rabbit meat, I recommend the following:
Sarge skins a squirrel (NSFW or your lunch) (new window)
RECIPES (new window)
The fat is soft and delicate and should be cooked with the meat, and eaten over rice like butter. I also prefer beef broth as a brine for the meat.

MrCheeks: Damnit, wrong thread....

What, you're not musing on the idea of a squirrel-based coup? They're smart rodents. I'm sure they could learn to use guns and such...

Ambivalence: First of all, a drinking straw is not a "device".

Second of all squirrels are a menace and should be killed on sight.

Death to ambivalence. Furry, rabid, cute-as-a-button death.

UtileDysfunktion:
Pro-tip: Never feed squirrels from the porch/deck of your house. They will come to associate your house with "food comes from within" and will come knocking on your door (literally).

/you'll be lucky if that's all they do
//they get a bowl of nuts from me out in the backyard around Christmas time
///I enjoy the little bastages

Words of wisdom, there.

For a while D1vwife was feeding the squirrels in our backyard. Little b@stards started getting a little uppity. Had one who would start throwing pebbles at the kitchen window if he thought you were taking too long getting him his peanuts.

/Got a dog. Problem solved overnight.

I should think that most, if not all, mammals could figure out the straw. Sucking to get liquid goodies is natural for mammals -- you know, 'cause of mammary glands.

Morchella: How could you not like this:

Got nothing on the Indian squirrel (they have racing stripes).

Link (new window)

This is nothing new...

Oh great next we are going to have a Planet of the Squirrels, then Rise of the Squirrels, and finally we will all have to go Beneath the Planet of the Squirrels. No much better to nuke them from orbit, it is the only way to be sure.

I have four pecan trees in my back yard, and it has been a tradition in my family, since my great grandfather bought the property, to collect and enjoy those delicious pecans during the fall and winter months.

But then squirrels.

So, it has also become a family tradition (since shortly after my grandfather bought the property) to go out early on fall and winter mornings with a .22 rifle and shoot any and all squirrels that come to those trees to feed.

We eat the meat, and I personally like to preserve the pelts (gonna make some sort of squirrel sporran and/or cap). The squirrel population in the woods behind the house seems to have suffered no ill consequences. I nabbed about 30 this year. This also saves money at the grocery store, what with not having to buy as much meat.

/pour on the hate.
//skinning a squirrel to preserve the pelt is tricky.
///my wife is NOT a fan of squirrel meat.

The meat IS tasty!
I bone out a couple and put 'em in the crock pot with a cut up sausage, some cream of whatever is in your pantry soup, a couple of potatos and whatever else is in the crisper drawer of the ice-box. You can't lose.

I love squirrels.

That one picture of the squirrel firmly grasping the straw with both hands is now my desktop background. When they get opposable thumbs, what follows will be inevitable.

Canton: MrCheeks: Damnit, wrong thread....

What, you're not musing on the idea of a squirrel-based coup? They're smart rodents. I'm sure they could learn to use guns and such...

What, no Foamy?

/fear his squirrely wrath