FARK.com: (6989057) Squirrel learns to operate humans-only device. This cannot end well

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		Squirrel learns to operate humans-only device. This cannot end well (dailymail.co.uk)		76
		More: Scary, back garden, Hampshire, bird feeders

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24928 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Mar 2012 at 11:23 AM | Favorite | share:

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Uewebawo		2012-03-12 01:09:17 PM

Ambivalence: First of all, a drinking straw is not a "device".

it's an emergency induction port.

algrant33		2012-03-12 01:13:23 PM

Talking starling (video, new window)

My CSB:

Was walking around campus one morning, heard a blue-jay's distinctive jay-scream. Blue jays frequently talk to one another, loudly, as anybody in the Midwest can attest. But I heard a second voice, another bluejay, only this one sounded a bit hoarse, like he had a sore throat. I got closer to the second one and looked up in the tree to find it. The bird I saw wasn't a bluejay at all--it was a starling, mimicking a bluejay scream well enough to satisfy the actual bluejay. Totally made my morning.

We don't have mockingbirds, at least not in my area of Missouri, but I saw them plenty on the east coast. Mockingbirds know a lot of calls too, but they tend to go through their repertoire in a single sitting and seemingly at random. The starling was clearly using a single call to his advantage.

MrCheeks		2012-03-12 01:20:24 PM

This seems good enough place as ever to post this...

MrCheeks		2012-03-12 01:21:27 PM

Damnit, wrong thread....

acad1228		2012-03-12 01:21:52 PM

Ambivalence: First of all, a drinking straw is not a "device".

Second of all squirrels are a menace and should be killed on sight.

Actually, according to Webster, A drinking straw could be considered to be a device.

Device (new window)

davidab		2012-03-12 02:03:39 PM

indarwinsshadow: Ambivalence:
Second of all squirrels are a menace and should be killed on sight.
Couldn't agree with you more. F*cking fat long tailed rats... Even the neighbourhood cats have given up trying to thin the population.

For thinning I recommend the following tool. Get the .177 cal if you are going to stick to squirrel. If you want larger pests like raccoon I recommend the .22 cal.
Benjamin Trail NP (new window)

If you are adventurous and like rabbit meat, I recommend the following:
Sarge skins a squirrel (NSFW or your lunch) (new window)
RECIPES (new window)
The fat is soft and delicate and should be cooked with the meat, and eaten over rice like butter. I also prefer beef broth as a brine for the meat.

Canton		2012-03-12 02:12:39 PM

MrCheeks: Damnit, wrong thread....

What, you're not musing on the idea of a squirrel-based coup? They're smart rodents. I'm sure they could learn to use guns and such...

Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel		2012-03-12 02:17:55 PM

Ambivalence: First of all, a drinking straw is not a "device".

Second of all squirrels are a menace and should be killed on sight.

Death to ambivalence. Furry, rabid, cute-as-a-button death.

Skyd1v		2012-03-12 02:27:53 PM

UtileDysfunktion:
Pro-tip: Never feed squirrels from the porch/deck of your house. They will come to associate your house with "food comes from within" and will come knocking on your door (literally).

/you'll be lucky if that's all they do
//they get a bowl of nuts from me out in the backyard around Christmas time
///I enjoy the little bastages

Words of wisdom, there.

For a while D1vwife was feeding the squirrels in our backyard. Little b@stards started getting a little uppity. Had one who would start throwing pebbles at the kitchen window if he thought you were taking too long getting him his peanuts.

/Got a dog. Problem solved overnight.

CapeFearCadaver		2012-03-12 02:27:58 PM

CSS: went out to my back porch this morning to enjoy a cup of coffee and cigarette, was startled to see that one of my dogs bones had been moved from the deck floor into the cupped hands of my Buddha statue that is placed on a 4 foot high table on the porch. Seriously freaked me the fark out; what with having a psycho stalker in my life. Decided to have my coffee & cigarette of the front porch this morning instead... about 30 minutes later I'm filling up travel mug with more coffee and look out the window onto my back porch, there's a farking squirrel on the side table next to the Buddha statue grabbing a hold of the dog bone to which he then carries it across the railing and drops it into a planter then scampers off. Sparky's trying to drive me crazy.

/named for munching on the Christmas lights I had up during season

HopScotchNSoda		2012-03-12 02:42:39 PM

I should think that most, if not all, mammals could figure out the straw. Sucking to get liquid goodies is natural for mammals -- you know, 'cause of mammary glands.

lordargent		2012-03-12 03:28:07 PM

Morchella: How could you not like this:

Got nothing on the Indian squirrel (they have racing stripes).

i1.trekearth.com

angry_redhead		2012-03-12 04:12:15 PM

Link (new window)

This is nothing new...

Slaves2Darkness		2012-03-12 04:14:08 PM

Oh great next we are going to have a Planet of the Squirrels, then Rise of the Squirrels, and finally we will all have to go Beneath the Planet of the Squirrels. No much better to nuke them from orbit, it is the only way to be sure.

Bathia_Mapes		2012-03-12 04:25:16 PM

pute kisses like a man: Sybarite: Squirrels, we're not delicious
Squirrels, we are not racoons
Squirrels, don't live in palm trees
Squirrels, or in your bathroom

a squirrel broke into my house a couple years ago. it took me and my cat working together to trap and release the little mother.

I found his entry point, there was a hole underneath the kitchen sink through which one could put their whole hand.

/ still loves squirrels, but they are the hardest rodent to remove from your house. they're too quick for the cat. all other rodents are easy to remove, my cat just kills them and I discard their mangled, tortured carcasses.
// but mouse traps are real inhumane. feline rodent extermination is PETA approved, I'm pretty sure.

One got in my apartment years ago. We lived in a nearly 100 year old house that had been converted to 4 apartments (2 upstairs, 2 downstairs). We lived in one of the upstairs apartments and the kitchen window looked out onto the roof and a large (taller than the house) tree. Mr Squirrel goes from tree to roof and through the open window. Then it freaks out because it can't find a way back out. Finally removed it by managing to get close enough to put a plastic laundry basket over it and then gently slid the squirrel along the floor until we were at the top of the staircase outside my front door. Lifted the basket & gave the squirrel a gentle nudge to get it started down the stairs and went back inside my apartment, shutting the door to keep him outside. Shut the window too, just in case he or one of his fellow squirrels decided to pay a visit again.

ZAZ		2012-03-12 04:54:24 PM

WalMartian

Those are slightly more closely related to prairie dogs than they are to tree squirrels, but they are neither. African squirrels are a different branch of the squirrel family tree.

WalMartian		2012-03-12 05:05:23 PM

ZAZ: WalMartian

Those are slightly more closely related to prairie dogs than they are to tree squirrels, but they are neither. African squirrels are a different branch of the squirrel family tree.

Well, you know how those Africans are; they all look alike.

/ducks

overmortal		2012-03-12 05:26:00 PM

I have four pecan trees in my back yard, and it has been a tradition in my family, since my great grandfather bought the property, to collect and enjoy those delicious pecans during the fall and winter months.

But then squirrels.

So, it has also become a family tradition (since shortly after my grandfather bought the property) to go out early on fall and winter mornings with a .22 rifle and shoot any and all squirrels that come to those trees to feed.

We eat the meat, and I personally like to preserve the pelts (gonna make some sort of squirrel sporran and/or cap). The squirrel population in the woods behind the house seems to have suffered no ill consequences. I nabbed about 30 this year. This also saves money at the grocery store, what with not having to buy as much meat.

/pour on the hate.
//skinning a squirrel to preserve the pelt is tricky.
///my wife is NOT a fan of squirrel meat.

Bong Hits For Mohammed		2012-03-12 07:07:30 PM

The meat IS tasty!
I bone out a couple and put 'em in the crock pot with a cut up sausage, some cream of whatever is in your pantry soup, a couple of potatos and whatever else is in the crisper drawer of the ice-box. You can't lose.

cedarpark		2012-03-12 07:31:54 PM

I love squirrels.

burninlovebbq.files.wordpress.com

Relatively Obscure		2012-03-12 07:55:11 PM

overmortal: I have four pecan trees in my back yard, and it has been a tradition in my family, since my great grandfather bought the property, to collect and enjoy those delicious pecans during the fall and winter months.

But then squirrels.

So, it has also become a family tradition (since shortly after my grandfather bought the property) to go out early on fall and winter mornings with a .22 rifle and shoot any and all squirrels that come to those trees to feed.

We eat the meat, and I personally like to preserve the pelts (gonna make some sort of squirrel sporran and/or cap). The squirrel population in the woods behind the house seems to have suffered no ill consequences. I nabbed about 30 this year. This also saves money at the grocery store, what with not having to buy as much meat.

/pour on the hate.
//skinning a squirrel to preserve the pelt is tricky.
///my wife is NOT a fan of squirrel meat.

Squirrels are awesome, and I hope they rape your pecan trees while you are forced to watch. That said, I have no problem with people who want to shoot and eat them.

EVERYBODY PANIC		2012-03-12 08:44:03 PM

That one picture of the squirrel firmly grasping the straw with both hands is now my desktop background. When they get opposable thumbs, what follows will be inevitable.

Jacob_Roberson		2012-03-12 09:12:40 PM

j.lunatic		2012-03-12 11:06:21 PM

Canton: MrCheeks: Damnit, wrong thread....

What, you're not musing on the idea of a squirrel-based coup? They're smart rodents. I'm sure they could learn to use guns and such...

1.bp.blogspot.com

Ronin_S		2012-03-13 12:04:04 AM

What, no Foamy?

/fear his squirrely wrath

libranoelrose		2012-03-13 02:17:43 AM

lordargent: Morchella: How could you not like this:

Got nothing on the Indian squirrel (they have racing stripes).

[i1.trekearth.com image 640x416]

Racist.

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