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(WPTV)   It takes a very special kind of stupid to get run over by your own car   (wptv.com) divider line 44
    More: Florida, firefighters  
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3383 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Mar 2012 at 3:02 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-09 03:04:17 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

Does not see any relevance.
 
2012-03-09 03:04:41 PM
Changing a tire on a hill? clicks link, Nope.
 
2012-03-09 03:05:56 PM
To be fair she was old as dirt.
/It would have been funny if it was someone ghost riding the whip
 
2012-03-09 03:06:30 PM
GIF of the car reversing in circles
 
2012-03-09 03:07:03 PM
Seen a neighbor's parking brake fail.
 
2012-03-09 03:08:07 PM
A special kind of old, you mean
 
2012-03-09 03:09:10 PM
Old Woman living in Florida 55 and up community, Check, Puts car in Reverse instead of Park, Check, Driving 80s vintage GM boat, Check, and people wonder why all these stereo types of Florida retirement communities exist.
 
2012-03-09 03:09:17 PM
creepysigmund.files.wordpress.com

/hot
 
2012-03-09 03:09:43 PM

drjekel_mrhyde: /It would have been funny if it was someone ghost riding the whip


came to say this.
 
2012-03-09 03:10:36 PM
I would have wanted to try and jump in that
 
2012-03-09 03:11:25 PM
In Florida, cars take keys from YOU.
 
2012-03-09 03:12:56 PM
This same thing happened to my Gram back in the 70's, except she was depositing her mail into one of those drive thru mailboxes. She couldn't reach the slot so she opened the door and leaned out at which point she proceeded to fall out of the car. The car then rolls right over her legs. When the police came they weren't even shocked as she was frequently getting into all kinds of predicaments requiring some type of assistance, and were familiar with her eccentricities by that point. (She has walked away from more flaming Cadillacs than I care to count).

The best part was she was completely uninjured. The doctors said the reason her legs didn't break was because she was so fat it cushioned the bone. Score one for fatties!

/css
 
2012-03-09 03:16:11 PM
It takes a very special img1.fark.net kind of stupid to get run over by your own car

FTFY
 
2012-03-09 03:16:48 PM
Clint Eastwood and Telly Savalas were witnesses? Where is this magical retirement community?
 
2012-03-09 03:17:05 PM
Anyone else hear yakkity sax while reading that?
 
2012-03-09 03:17:21 PM
One firefighter even tried to time a jump into the car in hopes of pressing the brake. But his arm got caught in the bumper and he was dragged around the street.

This really needs to have "Yakety Sax" queued up and ready to play.
 
Ehh
2012-03-09 03:17:50 PM
Actually, all it takes is regular stupid. All you have to do is forget to set the parking brake or block a tire. I had a '68 Ford with the murderous habit of jumping out of Park into Reverse.
 
2012-03-09 03:17:56 PM

theodopolis13: drjekel_mrhyde: /It would have been funny if it was someone ghost riding the whip

came to say this.


had to look that up... interesting. to ghost ride the whip.

/ my car's a standard transmission, so I guess this would only work on a hill... in which case, there could be trouble, depending on the grade.
 
2012-03-09 03:19:07 PM

hobblekitty: She has walked away from more flaming Cadillacs than I care to count


Well that's a story we need to hear!
 
2012-03-09 03:19:28 PM
If by stupid you mean 83 years old, then you are right.
 
2012-03-09 03:20:26 PM
No farmer's market nearby?
 
2012-03-09 03:22:09 PM
Holy shiat, that article contained at least 2 LOLs per paragraph.
 
2012-03-09 03:23:05 PM

Another Government Employee: Seen a neighbor's parking brake fail.


I've had my parking break fail. While I was on a hill. And trying to get something out of the vehicle. I didn't get run over, but the only thing keeping my vehicle from rolling into the neighbor's yard was their car.

/not a cool story
//neighbor, somehow, was very cool
 
2012-03-09 03:25:11 PM

Dog Welder: One firefighter even tried to time a jump into the car in hopes of pressing the brake. But his arm got caught in the bumper and he was dragged around the street.

This really needs to have "Yakety Sax" queued up and ready to play.


Missed it by that much.
 
2012-03-09 03:34:53 PM
I know a guy who ran over himself. He was kneeling down outside the drivers side of the car and cleaning the inside. He managed to knock it into neutral and the car backed into him, knocking him down, and then it ran over him. It was a small car and he was apparently unhurt.
 
2012-03-09 03:36:22 PM
The car seemed to be in control and out of control at the same time.I know people like that.
 
2012-03-09 03:36:44 PM
So the Upper Class Twit Of The Year Show is held in Florida now?
 
2012-03-09 03:43:47 PM

Jayone: Anyone else hear yakkity sax while reading that?


THIS!!
 
2012-03-09 03:45:08 PM

PanicMan: hobblekitty: She has walked away from more flaming Cadillacs than I care to count

Well that's a story we need to hear!


The woman was obsessed with Cadillacs. It is the only type of car she would ever drive (she is too old to drive now, but when she did it was Cadillacs all the way). They were always huge boat like vehicles. I would say she owned at least five of them over the course of her adult, post-divorce life. Of those five I know at least two, possibly three, caught fire under the hood. (These all happened before I was born, I could not tell you exactly why they were aflame). The MO for her in these situations was to calmly get her purse, get out of the car and leave it flaming on the side of the road while she went for a walk to find the nearest authority figure, who would then send the fire patrol. This course of action is not incredibly unreasonable to my thinking but what is unreasonable is why she would continue to buy Cadillacs after all the trouble she had with them.

When I was very young I remember she had a great big maroon Caddy Seville which started to smoke copiously under the hood during a trip we were taking to NYC. Great big black plumes of smoke. Good times.
 
2012-03-09 03:49:25 PM
Holy shiat, I'm moving to Boynton Beach, FL, where I can be worshipped as a God for my huge brain and problem solving skills.

I'm picturing the whole block of people either dumbly staring at the car or coming up with retarded schemes to stop it.
"Hit the car with the stick, Melvin! Give it a good ole whack!"
 
2012-03-09 03:59:27 PM

Maturin: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 238x240]

Does not see any relevance.



Done in one! Link for the youngsters.
 
2012-03-09 04:22:03 PM
When I was a teenager there was a lady in town that got out of her car while it was stopped but in gear. She tried to jump back in and stop it but was unsuccessful, she fell out and the car ran over her. The steering wheel was turn all the way in one direction and the car ran over her several times until someone was get it to stop. Needless to say she didn't make it

Not a CSB
 
2012-03-09 04:24:58 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-03-09 04:37:01 PM
"He just pulled right alongside of it. He side-swiped it. It stopped. They all jumped in and turned it off," said Curcio.

Students at the Clown Car Academy unavailable for comment.
 
2012-03-09 04:40:52 PM

Dog Welder: One firefighter even tried to time a jump into the car in hopes of pressing the brake. But his arm got caught in the bumper and he was dragged around the street.

This really needs to have "Yakety Sax" queued up and ready to play.


Came here to post exactly this.
 
2012-03-09 04:41:41 PM
So, the only interesting part of the video was when the cop car was running into it to stop it and the dumbass person taking the video scans down to take a shot of the grass at his feet! God I really think that some people should be kept far away from cameras.
 
2012-03-09 04:56:39 PM

Shadyman: Students at the Clown Car Academy unavailable for comment.


To be fair, they are really not that much use when they are available. At least not for comment.
 
2012-03-09 07:02:21 PM
i44.tinypic.com
 
2012-03-10 09:26:24 AM
I DNRTFA because I'm actually afraid it might remind me, perhaps too viscerally, of how stupid I was the night I almost got run over by my own car, while trying to get it started. Really.
 
2012-03-10 06:15:20 PM

Sylvia_Bandersnatch: I DNRTFA because I'm actually afraid it might remind me, perhaps too viscerally, of how stupid I was the night I almost got run over by my own car, while trying to get it started. Really.


As you know, we poke fun at all to maintain the proper Fark humor. But I bet there is a Farker that lives close enough that would have been happy to assist you. It's only the basement dwellers that I have my doubts about.
 
2012-03-10 10:54:26 PM

CasperImproved: Sylvia_Bandersnatch: I DNRTFA because I'm actually afraid it might remind me, perhaps too viscerally, of how stupid I was the night I almost got run over by my own car, while trying to get it started. Really.

As you know, we poke fun at all to maintain the proper Fark humor. But I bet there is a Farker that lives close enough that would have been happy to assist you. It's only the basement dwellers that I have my doubts about.


I wasn't trying to push-start it. It had a bad starter, and I was under it with a hammer and flashlight when the parking brake let go.
 
2012-03-11 01:04:42 AM

Sylvia_Bandersnatch: CasperImproved: Sylvia_Bandersnatch: I DNRTFA because I'm actually afraid it might remind me, perhaps too viscerally, of how stupid I was the night I almost got run over by my own car, while trying to get it started. Really.

As you know, we poke fun at all to maintain the proper Fark humor. But I bet there is a Farker that lives close enough that would have been happy to assist you. It's only the basement dwellers that I have my doubts about.

I wasn't trying to push-start it. It had a bad starter, and I was under it with a hammer and flashlight when the parking brake let go.


I'll bet that jump started your heart :)

When I was young without much money, and living in Germany, I had a motorcycle with a similar issue (battery couldn't maintain a charge and there was no kick starter).

So early in the morning (usually still dark out), I would sometimes have to take it on a jog as best I could, hop onto the seat, and pop the clutch. No very easy with a motorcycle :)

Had you lived nearby and put out a Farker call for help, I would have come to give you a helping shove.. some of us are like that.

Hope you have a more reliable ride now.

/Happy farkering :)
 
2012-03-11 11:02:50 AM

CasperImproved: Sylvia_Bandersnatch: CasperImproved: Sylvia_Bandersnatch: I DNRTFA because I'm actually afraid it might remind me, perhaps too viscerally, of how stupid I was the night I almost got run over by my own car, while trying to get it started. Really.

As you know, we poke fun at all to maintain the proper Fark humor. But I bet there is a Farker that lives close enough that would have been happy to assist you. It's only the basement dwellers that I have my doubts about.

I wasn't trying to push-start it. It had a bad starter, and I was under it with a hammer and flashlight when the parking brake let go.

I'll bet that jump started your heart :)

When I was young without much money, and living in Germany, I had a motorcycle with a similar issue (battery couldn't maintain a charge and there was no kick starter).

So early in the morning (usually still dark out), I would sometimes have to take it on a jog as best I could, hop onto the seat, and pop the clutch. No very easy with a motorcycle :)

Had you lived nearby and put out a Farker call for help, I would have come to give you a helping shove.. some of us are like that.

Hope you have a more reliable ride now.

/Happy farkering :)


A long time ago, in a city about 100 miles away...

It was a Jeep ('90 YJ) with a bad starter. These things stand pretty tall, so there's plenty of room to crawl under them, and I was used to that. They also weigh a couple tons. The starter had been bad for a long time, and I'd been putting off doing anything about it because I was getting sick of replacing them. For a good long while, I'd just park it someplace where I'd be able roll-start it when I wanted to go again; I actually took it all the way to Canada and back like that.

Anyway, I was leaving a party one night in downtown Providence, and wanted to follow someone else home to make sure they'd be okay, but they didn't know that. Sure enough, the starter refused to connect, and now I was also in a hurry to get it going. So I mashed the parking brake -- not well enough* -- and jumped under it with my handy hammer and flashlight that I kept at the ready specifically for this purpose.**

(* The brake had a habit of letting go, and I knew that. Chrysler had issued a safety recall about this specific issue, and I'd also been putting that off, only because I deeply detested the local Jeep shop. So, no excuses for me here.)

(** For those of you who don't know: A conventional car starter contains an electric motor, with the usual brushes and coil. When it gets dirty or worn, the brushes make poorer contact with the coil, creating 'dead spots' at various positions. If the starter rests on a dead spot after the last start, it might not work the next time you try it. One way to deal with this is to rap it with a hammer, hoping it rotates to a better position. It works more often than it sounds like it should.)

That's the setup, and here's where our story unfolds. As I was just about to make the first strike on the starter, the brake let go with a loud PANG! Which was, yes, very startling, but much more because I knew what it was than for the loud noise.

Now, you all know to set your cars in gear before setting the brake, hopefully. A brake really can't be trusted to hold a vehicle, it's just a backup. But I was in such a hurry when I jumped out that I didn't do that, which meant the truck was now free to roam in any downhill direction it pleased. As it happened, like a lot of Southern New England, this parking lot was not flat. There was a small crisp crunching sound as the tires broke the frost bond with the cracked pavement, and the old girl was off. Slowly, but nevertheless determined to go somewhere. And I was under it.

I knew from experience (what you always get right after you need it, and if you survive then you get a teensy bit wiser) not to panic, that panicking in a situation like this was the most certain way to do the wrong thing and get hurt. And having a two-ton truck rolling over you isn't an ow-my-thumb kind of getting hurt. So I forced myself to calm down and clear my head and THINK.

I basically just rolled out from under it, so that I was outside the frame and wheelbase but still really close, because that's how far I could move in one motion from the position I'd started. From my position, it was like watching the Titanic leave port. I was safe, but the truck was still moving -- slowly, but gaining speed, and it was clear that it wasn't going to stop. I was laying on the ground just inches away from a two-ton truck that was destined, if I didn't figure out how to stop it, to roll off and crash into someone else's car. Which in downtown Providence isn't always an occasion to trade insurance and good laugh. I was determined to stop it, but unsure how.

Part of the problem was that there was frost on the ground, so if I scrambled to get up as quickly as possible, I'd be just as likely to end up partly under it again, or at least waste a lot of time and energy and still fail to be standing up. Another part of the problem was that I was laying on the ground, a Jeep has an 18" step-up, and I'd have to clear about a metre and a half in less than two seconds. I didn't believe I could do that, and I'm glad I didn't try. So, jumping up and jumping in didn't seem like a viable option.

I finally decided to try braking it from the outside. Brakes are just hard rubber shoes that press sideways on the wheels. I was wearing hard shoes, so I carefully but firmly pressed my foot against the outside tirewall, bracing my heel on the ground -- but being careful not to put my foot in a position where it might get crushed; if this was going to fail, I didn't want to sustain a needless injury for it.

The truck stopped rolling. Stopped rolling because I was pressing about four square inches of shoe sole against the tire. Physics -- it works, biatches.

So now I had a new problem: If I got up, I'd let go the tire, and the truck would start rolling again, putting me right back where I was before the shoe-brake trick, only probably without a second chance. Then I remembered that I had tools with me. I carefully wedged the hammer under the front tire (I didn't think the flashlight would bear the pressure), and slowly let my foot go. The truck held: the hammer made a barely-adequate brakestop. So that's when I finally jumped up, jumped in, mashed the brake hard, and put her in gear. Me and the truck were now both safe.

By now, the guy I was going to follow was long gone, so I was no longer in a hurry to go anywhere. Except now the tool I needed had a truck on top of it.

With no small effort, I finally managed to get the hammer free, rap the starter, and get going. I had plenty of time to think about it all now, and considered a late-night diner stop to ponder it further, but instead resolved to go straight home instead of risking any more adventure that night.

Epilogue: I eventually bought a Mean Green starter, a popular Jeep upgrade, on the theory that if it was even half as good as claimed, I'd be ahead if I only didn't have to replace a starter every eighteen months. The MG is a sealed gear-reduction starter (about 4:1, as I recall) with the coil bearing-suspended at both ends. It's about three times the volume and mass of the stock starter, but bolts on cleanly. Which is good, because of another under-the-truck story related to the above:

I finally decided to get the MG when the Jeep failed to start in a gently rolling but insufficiently pitched hotel parking lot. It stood dead in a puddle of water several inches deep at the lowest part of the lot. I took advantage of MG's overnight shipping, and I went out early the next day to fix it. The puddle had frozen overnight, so I could lay on top of it -- cold, but dry. It took only about fifteen minutes, maybe. The main problem was that everything was very cold to the touch, and you can't wear heavy gloves for things like refitting narrow bolts and reconnecting wires. Little did I know that that was going to be least of it.

As I torqued down one of the mounting bolts, I heard and felt a loud CRACK! I quickly tried to ascertain what I'd just broken, and what I'd have to do about it. I couldn't see any damage in the rising sunlight, but quickly realised what had broken when my pants started filling up with icewater.

I finished the job as quickly as I could, scurried back out and up, clomped back inside (to the amusement of the hotel staff, who'd been watching), and jumped in a hot shower. I drove to lunch, parking in a sunny dry spot, and afterwards got under and made sure everything was tight.

Afterword: That that was the last starter I ever bought and installed for that truck. I went through a second transmission and two more motors with that same starter, and it outlived the truck. The MG absolutely lives up to its claims, and is absolutely worth the price. If I could have, I'd have gotten their alternator, too. If you've got a truck, talk to them. You might spare yourself a hair-raising story or a wintertime swim.
 
2012-03-12 01:24:09 PM

CasperImproved: Sylvia_Bandersnatch: CasperImproved: Sylvia_Bandersnatch: I DNRTFA because I'm actually afraid it might remind me, perhaps too viscerally, of how stupid I was the night I almost got run over by my own car, while trying to get it started. Really.

As you know, we poke fun at all to maintain the proper Fark humor. But I bet there is a Farker that lives close enough that would have been happy to assist you. It's only the basement dwellers that I have my doubts about.

I wasn't trying to push-start it. It had a bad starter, and I was under it with a hammer and flashlight when the parking brake let go.

I'll bet that jump started your heart :)

When I was young without much money, and living in Germany, I had a motorcycle with a similar issue (battery couldn't maintain a charge and there was no kick starter).

So early in the morning (usually still dark out), I would sometimes have to take it on a jog as best I could, hop onto the seat, and pop the clutch. No very easy with a motorcycle :)

Had you lived nearby and put out a Farker call for help, I would have come to give you a helping shove.. some of us are like that.

Hope you have a more reliable ride now.

/Happy farkering :)


I jump started a bike by tying a rope to a car and drag/pull starting the bike. it worked, but it's a pretty complicated and dangerous maneouver. I read about someone who tried that and got seriously injured on a linked article from fark years later. always trying to be ahead of the fark dumbass tag curve.

/ btw, sorry for the misspelling of maneouver. i just don't know how to spell that stupid word, and i'm not looking it up. i prefer my spelling anyways.
 
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