FARK.com: (6985301) It's that same old story again: pastor abuses teen, teen gives birth, teen marries pastor after he divorces his wife, teen divorces pastor, teen sues church for $25 million

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(Some Guy)		It's that same old story again: pastor abuses teen, teen gives birth, teen marries pastor after he divorces his wife, teen divorces pastor, teen sues church for $25 million (1035superx.com)		75
		More: Obvious, United Methodist Church, Jane Doe, insults

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13846 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Mar 2012 at 10:42 AM | Favorite | share:

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Pert		2012-03-09 11:44:29 AM

Whiskey Dickens: 5 bucks says this is a black pastor.
*clicks link*

I owe myself 5 bucks.

What black pasta might look like:

1.bp.blogspot.com

/congratulations, you're a racist!

Jon iz teh kewl		2012-03-09 11:45:41 AM

Shaggy0717: so why are churches so against birth control? It would give them an easy out.

Because a dick+vagina won't fit into a 14 year old the way a dick+vagina+condom+female condom would

i_got_no_strings		2012-03-09 11:52:24 AM

fortheloveofgod: i_got_no_strings: The Methodist Church was busy putting Rev. Amy DeLong (new window) on trial for the horrific crime of being a lesbian. Other things are going to slip by them.

I didn't click on your link, but I don't get it. The Methodist church has been ordaining openly gay pastors for years. They are one of the most liberal churches on that topic.

The church has a schizophrenic policy that it will ordain gay pastors, but only if they are celibate. DeLong has had a female partner for over a decade, so part of the trial was speculating on whether they had sex.

CheekyMonkey		2012-03-09 11:55:15 AM

jaylectricity: FTA: Defense attorneys say Jane Doe is bitter he filed for divorce from her.

Subby, you got part of the story wrong. It's the pastor that divorced the teen.

Well, of course he did. She was getting a little old for him...

Gunny Walker		2012-03-09 11:55:50 AM

I guess you'd call him (*sunglasses*) a rhythm methodist.

The Jami Turman Fan Club		2012-03-09 12:02:33 PM

i_got_no_strings: The church has a schizophrenic policy that it will ordain gay pastors, but only if they are celibate. DeLong has had a female partner for over a decade, so part of the trial was speculating on whether they had sex.

Or what it even means for lesbians to have sex, in contrast to playing around.

SDRR		2012-03-09 12:06:05 PM

Ahhhh young love...

Odd Bird		2012-03-09 12:24:24 PM

Reverend Monkeypants		2012-03-09 12:37:25 PM

TEXAS

Keep on scapegoating the Northeast US as the region with low morals.

Fakers

thelordofcheese		2012-03-09 12:45:30 PM

rjakobi		2012-03-09 12:51:25 PM

Gunny Walker: I guess you'd call him (*sunglasses*) a rhythm methodist.

OH GODDAMMIT.

He beat me to the pun.

ShannonKW		2012-03-09 12:54:16 PM

If I had a dime for every time this has happened to me...

reillan		2012-03-09 12:57:33 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: Pert

SJKebab: ...teen dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.

Goodyear?

The worst.

*Orson Welles clapping*

you need help		2012-03-09 01:25:20 PM

reillan: Englebert Slaptyback: Pert

SJKebab: ...teen dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.

Goodyear?

The worst.

*Orson Welles clapping*

For those such as myself who are wondering:
Fark Link

Englebert Slaptyback		2012-03-09 01:38:17 PM

you need help

For those such as myself who are wondering:
Fark Link

*boggle*

No.

groppet		2012-03-09 01:47:46 PM

FarkinHostile: Man, it's getting to the point where it doesn't seem worth it to bang teens anymore.

Sigh...

No shiat there used to be a time when you could pick up a teen at a mall get her drunk on mad dog, bang her in your El Camino and drop her off. No the second you are done they are on FB telling their BFFs, next thing you know you are doing a perp walk with your pants around your ankles.

Mr.Poops		2012-03-09 01:56:30 PM

The Aristocrats?

AbbeySomeone		2012-03-09 02:06:08 PM

saomai: Well at least she "gave birth to her own child" and not someone else's.

I'm relieved to hear that.

GirlScoutSniper		2012-03-09 02:26:55 PM

Sock Ruh Tease: As a Methodist, he's right up there with rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, and shiat-kickers.

Hey... don't be hating on snipers! ;)

umad		2012-03-09 02:36:54 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: you need help

For those such as myself who are wondering:
Fark Link

*boggle*

No.

Jesus Christ THIS. Punk kids these days don't appreciate some of classic cinema's greatest masterpieces.

/not kidding

This text is now purple		2012-03-09 02:51:51 PM

meat0918: I'd be surprised, but given I just learned there is supposedly a class action lawsuit against the 7th Day Adventist Church for ignoring the sexual assaults on a number of young boys over the last few decades, executed Roman Catholic shuffle style.

In their defense, they expected the world to end before the matter got to trial.

FuryOfFirestorm		2012-03-09 03:06:58 PM

This sounds like the premise to "The Scarlet Letter 2: Good Christian B*tches" starring Demi Moore as Hester Prynn and Russell Brand as her divorce lawyer.

jaylectricity		2012-03-09 07:09:45 PM

Pert: Mmmmmmm hmmmmmmm....

Should that be a steady rise in pitch from beginning to end? Or should the highest pitch be somewhere near the end of the Mmm and the beginning of the hmm?

Like _mmm h^mm or _mm^{m h}m_m or ^mmm h_mm

NephilimNexus		2012-03-10 02:00:40 AM

I find it hilarious that the same religion that condemns having multiple wives seems to have no problem with underage concubines.

Pert		2012-03-10 04:41:24 AM

you need help: For those such as myself who are wondering:
Fark Link

notsureifserious.jpg

Really? You went for a Fark headline instead of the film from which it was taken?

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