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(Some Guy)   It's that same old story again: pastor abuses teen, teen gives birth, teen marries pastor after he divorces his wife, teen divorces pastor, teen sues church for $25 million   (1035superx.com) divider line 75
    More: Obvious, United Methodist Church, Jane Doe, insults  
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13854 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Mar 2012 at 10:42 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



75 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-03-09 08:55:07 AM
...teen dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.
 
2012-03-09 08:55:59 AM
And a star is born
 
2012-03-09 09:08:55 AM
Well he is Houton's pastor.

upload.wikimedia.org

Who could blame him?
 
2012-03-09 09:19:59 AM
*please_be_epic please_be_epic please_be_epic*

*opens eyes*

Green!
 
2012-03-09 09:21:16 AM
Wait, gave birth? The pastor abused a girl? Well at least he's not gay, I guess.
 
2012-03-09 09:39:35 AM
"Jane Doe"?

She married him... isn't their court records on that and such... this doesn't seem like something where they can really keep her name a secret.
 
2012-03-09 09:52:15 AM

dletter: "Jane Doe"?

She married him... isn't their court records on that and such... this doesn't seem like something where they can really keep her name a secret.


Steve and Samantha Doe were not thinking clearly of all the trouble that was going to happen when they named their daughter Jane.


Being molested by your pastor at 14 can mess you up.
 
2012-03-09 10:00:11 AM
David Clohessy is director of the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests or SNAP. He calls it a classic child predator case.

Oh, snap

lounge.moviecodec.com
 
2012-03-09 10:06:30 AM
Just the same old

Same old situaaaaaaaaation (new window)
 
2012-03-09 10:22:14 AM
I wonder if he made her stand in front of the congregation and apologize for being so rapeable.
 
2012-03-09 10:43:53 AM
Third time this week.
 
2012-03-09 10:45:13 AM
FTA: Defense attorneys say Jane Doe is bitter he filed for divorce from her.

Subby, you got part of the story wrong. It's the pastor that divorced the teen.
 
2012-03-09 10:46:47 AM

SJKebab: ...teen dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.


Goodyear?
 
2012-03-09 10:48:19 AM
The Methodist Church was busy putting Rev. Amy DeLong (new window) on trial for the horrific crime of being a lesbian. Other things are going to slip by them.
 
2012-03-09 10:48:42 AM

SphericalTime: Wait, gave birth? The pastor abused a girl? Well at least he's not gay, I guess.


He's a Pastor, not a Priest.

And it's not a surprise, he's a Negro. I hear they can't control their baser urges.
 
2012-03-09 10:49:50 AM
As a Methodist, he's right up there with rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, and shiat-kickers.
 
2012-03-09 10:50:27 AM
Defense attorneys say Jane Doe is bitter he filed for divorce from her.

/Is this a glaring shock? He wants to tap young ass...not you. You're too old now.
 
2012-03-09 10:51:22 AM

jaylectricity: FTA: Defense attorneys say Jane Doe is bitter he filed for divorce from her.

Subby, you got part of the story wrong. It's the pastor that divorced the teen.


He probably had another knocked up teen he needed to unrape by marrying her.
 
2012-03-09 10:52:18 AM
Please be about Fred Phelps... *clicks link* Awww.
 
2012-03-09 10:52:18 AM
At least he and she didn't use contraception. That leads to the devil.
 
2012-03-09 10:52:44 AM
But...but...how can we ever be moral without religion?????
 
2012-03-09 10:53:56 AM

Sock Ruh Tease: As a Methodist, he's right up there with rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, and shiat-kickers.


So hes not part of The Family?
 
2012-03-09 10:54:00 AM
I'd be surprised, but given I just learned there is supposedly a class action lawsuit against the 7th Day Adventist Church for ignoring the sexual assaults on a number of young boys over the last few decades, executed Roman Catholic shuffle style.
 
2012-03-09 10:55:20 AM

jaylectricity: FTA: Defense attorneys say Jane Doe is bitter he filed for divorce from her.

Subby, you got part of the story wrong. It's the pastor that divorced the teen.


Well, she's not underage anymore, and there are all these new sexy 14 year olds just giving him the eye at congregation!

i632.photobucket.com

What's a poor pastor to do?
 
2012-03-09 10:56:11 AM
This is pretty much the story of my neighbor except they have stayed married, she's an alcoholic, and he looks more like her father than husband.
 
2012-03-09 10:56:13 AM

velvet_fog: But...but...how can we ever be moral without religion?????


FTFU. You are welcome.
 
2012-03-09 10:56:22 AM

BigBooper: And it's not a surprise, he's a Negro. I hear they can't control their baser urges.


I read this in Mortimer Duke's voice and laughed.
 
2012-03-09 10:56:45 AM
Mmmmmmm hmmmmmmm....

www.umc.org
 
2012-03-09 10:58:02 AM
A lies to the old about dying, would lie to the young to get sex? Never!
 
2012-03-09 10:59:47 AM
A writer takes his pen and writes the words again...all is fair in love.
 
2012-03-09 11:01:26 AM

Pert


SJKebab: ...teen dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.

Goodyear?


The worst.
 
2012-03-09 11:02:34 AM
Defense attorneys say Jane Doe is bitter he filed for divorce from her.

So, which is it Subby?
 
2012-03-09 11:02:48 AM

Pert: Mmmmmmm hmmmmmmm....

[www.umc.org image 357x300]


Dr Dre??
 
2012-03-09 11:07:15 AM
This is what happens when you pray away teh ghey.

/everybody gets farked
 
2012-03-09 11:07:19 AM
He was promised 72 virgins after he died and wanted to get a head start?

Or is that the other silly mythology?
 
2012-03-09 11:10:52 AM
...the victim gave birth to her own child...

That's some quality authoring there, Lou.
 
2012-03-09 11:11:27 AM

Englebert Slaptyback: Pert

SJKebab: ...teen dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.

Goodyear?


The worst.


*slide trombone sound effect*
 
2012-03-09 11:15:36 AM
5 bucks says this is a black pastor.
*clicks link*

I owe myself 5 bucks.
 
2012-03-09 11:16:08 AM

i_got_no_strings: The Methodist Church was busy putting Rev. Amy DeLong (new window) on trial for the horrific crime of being a lesbian. Other things are going to slip by them.


I didn't click on your link, but I don't get it. The Methodist church has been ordaining openly gay pastors for years. They are one of the most liberal churches on that topic.
 
2012-03-09 11:16:44 AM

Whiskey Dickens: 5 bucks says this is a black pastor.
*clicks link*

I owe myself 5 bucks.


If you make racist bets with yourself...

... you might be a redneck.
 
2012-03-09 11:17:44 AM
FTA: Referred to as Jane Doe in court documents, the victim claims Graham and his wife invited her move in with them when she was 10-years-old after her mother died, but by age 14 the pastor was sexually abusing her.

Graham and his wife eventually divorced, the victim gave birth to her own child then married her abuser.


Who farking WROTE this??
 
2012-03-09 11:18:32 AM

jaylectricity: FTA: Defense attorneys say Jane Doe is bitter he filed for divorce from her.

Subby, you got part of the story wrong. It's the pastor that divorced the teen.


yeah, he's right... Where's the "Too Old" meme already? Seems apt for this guy...
 
2012-03-09 11:22:26 AM
Stupid human tricks.
 
2012-03-09 11:28:44 AM
so why are churches so against birth control? It would give them an easy out.
 
2012-03-09 11:29:12 AM
Well at least she "gave birth to her own child" and not someone else's.
 
2012-03-09 11:29:33 AM
the victim gave birth to her own child

Y'don't say!
 
2012-03-09 11:37:04 AM
Clearly (not), another marriage destroyed by Gay Marriage.
 
2012-03-09 11:37:34 AM
 
2012-03-09 11:43:28 AM

squirrel_spam: ...the victim gave birth to her own child...

That's some quality authoring there, Lou.


What are you talking about? That's perfectly good authoring. Haven't you ever read All You Zombies? (new window)
 
2012-03-09 11:44:19 AM
Man, it's getting to the point where it doesn't seem worth it to bang teens anymore.

Sigh...
 
2012-03-09 11:44:29 AM

Whiskey Dickens: 5 bucks says this is a black pastor.
*clicks link*

I owe myself 5 bucks.


What black pasta might look like:

1.bp.blogspot.com

/congratulations, you're a racist!
 
2012-03-09 11:45:41 AM

Shaggy0717: so why are churches so against birth control? It would give them an easy out.


Because a dick+vagina won't fit into a 14 year old the way a dick+vagina+condom+female condom would
 
2012-03-09 11:52:24 AM

fortheloveofgod: i_got_no_strings: The Methodist Church was busy putting Rev. Amy DeLong (new window) on trial for the horrific crime of being a lesbian. Other things are going to slip by them.

I didn't click on your link, but I don't get it. The Methodist church has been ordaining openly gay pastors for years. They are one of the most liberal churches on that topic.


The church has a schizophrenic policy that it will ordain gay pastors, but only if they are celibate. DeLong has had a female partner for over a decade, so part of the trial was speculating on whether they had sex.
 
2012-03-09 11:55:15 AM

jaylectricity: FTA: Defense attorneys say Jane Doe is bitter he filed for divorce from her.

Subby, you got part of the story wrong. It's the pastor that divorced the teen.


Well, of course he did. She was getting a little old for him...
 
2012-03-09 11:55:50 AM
I guess you'd call him (*sunglasses*) a rhythm methodist.
 
2012-03-09 12:02:33 PM

i_got_no_strings: The church has a schizophrenic policy that it will ordain gay pastors, but only if they are celibate. DeLong has had a female partner for over a decade, so part of the trial was speculating on whether they had sex.


Or what it even means for lesbians to have sex, in contrast to playing around.
 
2012-03-09 12:06:05 PM
Ahhhh young love...
 
2012-03-09 12:24:24 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-03-09 12:37:25 PM
TEXAS

Keep on scapegoating the Northeast US as the region with low morals.

Fakers
 
2012-03-09 12:45:30 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-03-09 12:51:25 PM

Gunny Walker: I guess you'd call him (*sunglasses*) a rhythm methodist.


OH GODDAMMIT.

He beat me to the pun.
 
2012-03-09 12:54:16 PM
If I had a dime for every time this has happened to me...
 
2012-03-09 12:57:33 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: Pert

SJKebab: ...teen dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.

Goodyear?


The worst.


*Orson Welles clapping*
 
2012-03-09 01:25:20 PM

reillan: Englebert Slaptyback: Pert

SJKebab: ...teen dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.

Goodyear?


The worst.

*Orson Welles clapping*


For those such as myself who are wondering:
Fark Link
 
2012-03-09 01:38:17 PM

you need help


For those such as myself who are wondering:
Fark Link


*boggle*

No.
 
2012-03-09 01:47:46 PM

FarkinHostile: Man, it's getting to the point where it doesn't seem worth it to bang teens anymore.

Sigh...


No shiat there used to be a time when you could pick up a teen at a mall get her drunk on mad dog, bang her in your El Camino and drop her off. No the second you are done they are on FB telling their BFFs, next thing you know you are doing a perp walk with your pants around your ankles.
 
2012-03-09 01:56:30 PM
The Aristocrats?
 
2012-03-09 02:06:08 PM

saomai: Well at least she "gave birth to her own child" and not someone else's.


I'm relieved to hear that.
 
2012-03-09 02:26:55 PM

Sock Ruh Tease: As a Methodist, he's right up there with rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, and shiat-kickers.


Hey... don't be hating on snipers! ;)
 
2012-03-09 02:36:54 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: you need help

For those such as myself who are wondering:
Fark Link


*boggle*

No.


Jesus Christ THIS. Punk kids these days don't appreciate some of classic cinema's greatest masterpieces.

/not kidding
 
2012-03-09 02:51:51 PM

meat0918: I'd be surprised, but given I just learned there is supposedly a class action lawsuit against the 7th Day Adventist Church for ignoring the sexual assaults on a number of young boys over the last few decades, executed Roman Catholic shuffle style.


In their defense, they expected the world to end before the matter got to trial.
 
2012-03-09 03:06:58 PM
This sounds like the premise to "The Scarlet Letter 2: Good Christian B*tches" starring Demi Moore as Hester Prynn and Russell Brand as her divorce lawyer.
 
2012-03-09 07:09:45 PM

Pert: Mmmmmmm hmmmmmmm....


Should that be a steady rise in pitch from beginning to end? Or should the highest pitch be somewhere near the end of the Mmm and the beginning of the hmm?

Like mmm hmm or mmm hmm or mmm hmm
 
2012-03-10 02:00:40 AM
I find it hilarious that the same religion that condemns having multiple wives seems to have no problem with underage concubines.
 
2012-03-10 04:41:24 AM

you need help: For those such as myself who are wondering:
Fark Link


notsureifserious.jpg

Really? You went for a Fark headline instead of the film from which it was taken?
 
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