Anti-zombie weapons - Katana, flame thrower, Desert Eagle, sawed off 10-guage. The Giovanni surrender (points if you get that).

One also needs a grenade launcher and crossbow.

I knew it Reagan was a Zombie.

Those damn Chemical zombies give Television zombies like me a bad name.

oh better yet a "drill" actually a jack hammer held sideways good for taking out those damn Zombie nurses, but the babies with the knives are harder to hit.

I prefer the Sten

or the Venom works too

type iddqd, then idkfa, then select 5, rocket launcher

nonchalantly walk around and liquify the zombies at point blank range

Hammers, chainsaws, holy water, etc.

Or a Full-Life spell.

A real man only needs a chainsaw and his trusty boomstick



Retails for about $199.95

"type iddqd, then idkfa, then select 5, rocket launcher"

Hells yeah

shop smart shop S-mart

YOU GOT THAT!!!!!!!

zombeez arent real...you need to grow up

"id hit it"
mmmm female zombies mmmmm

Just always carry a Western Shotgun those things are great to blasting heads off near by zombies, or maybe use a Python but really save those bullets for Hunters or Tyrants you may encounter untill you get the rocket launcher. Save those "herbs" for when you really need them otherwise you're screwed unless you live in Jamaica where it grows like crazy and everyone has those healing "herbs".

One last bit'o'advice never shoot the lock at the gas station to get more gas for your pickup truck when its your last chance to escape and then find the keys in the basement in plain sight.

"id hit it"
mmmm female zombies mmmmm

can you say geek?

A real man only needs a chainsaw and his trusty boomstick

And a '73 Oldmobile.

only after reading this highly informative article, do i feel i truly have the knowledge to fight one on one with a zombie!

fark HTML then

http://www.randomhouse.com/crown/zombiesurvivalguide/

I feel more confident now.

screw it.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1270000/images1270365_pilot150afp.jpg

should work but I don't know so do GIS for Chinese Jet Pilot and look at the BBC pic of one at a press conference.

What does GIS mean?

Thats wierd I just got done watching 28 days later and now the first thing on fark is about zombies. I'm sleeping with my light on tonight.

1. Wait for the zombie onslaught.


Always the most tedious part...

GIS = Google Image Search

The sorcerer's zombie differs from the chemical zombie in other important ways...it has a gentle aroma like old leaves, rather than a pungent stink like rotting flesh steeped in ammonia.

Already the zombies are way ahead of quite a few guys I know...and several ladies (some of today's fragrances were certainly meant as a way to embalm the dead, not entice the living.)

The zombie used in this demonstration was that of a 18-year old boy named Stewart. Although we cannot reveal how Stewart became a zombie and came into our possession, suffice to say that it's never a good idea to drink alone in a cemetery.

I understand neither the picture nor the caption. Are they saying that he became a zombie whilst drinking in a cemetary? Or that they waylaid a tipsy friend and asked him to pose? Poor Stewart, we hardly knew ye...and now ye are trying to eat us...

I also enjoyed the writer's diction in this article; it has been so very, very long since I have seen the words "noggin" and "boning" appear alongside references to Stalingrad. Good times...

Zombies? All set. Bring 'em on...

I'm waitin' for the zombie attack. We've all got "emergency Zombie attack" plans incase anything happens, and we're itchin' to use them. And to top it off, I'm within a few minute's walk of the nearest K-Mart. All the shotguns and ammo one can carry.

Course, it all depends what kind of zombies are attacking. Slow, brainless, lumbering hordes of the undead- oh hell yeah. Bring 'em on.

If they're Italian zombies with assault rifles, I'll be the one hiding in the bathtub wimpering in a puddle of my own urine...

"Yeah, and I'm a Chinese jet pilot."

Army of Darknessssssssss!

Here's the thing to remember with these bastards. Sure the dead outnumber the living. But after the tendons decay the zombie isn't going to move anymore. So let's say every person who has died in the last 100 years comes back. People who were cremated don't for obvious reasons. So maybe 80% come back. The big problem would be all the mass graves in the third world.

Also also. Jesus is coming back. He wants your brains.

Another_Angry_Goth

Screw the Giovanni. The Gangrel will rule for a thousand years.

Always contact professionals in case of a zombie outbreak: The Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency
Dealing with the undead isn't a job for amateurs.

Here's the book Zombie Survival Guide by Mel Brooke's son for those of you who haven't seen the ad on Fark. Looks quite good, I'd buy it if I wasn't spending all my money on stock piling hollow points, 2x4's, plywood, and just enough gasoline to get the fark out of dodge (in a Chevy truck).

Italian zombies are harmless. Unless you are sheep eyes, then I guess you are pretty farked.

Another_Angry_Goth - I got that, give me my points!

Why couldnt this article get posted a day earlier? My friends and I were attacked by zombies already and we didnt have a clue on how to defeat them. But now we know..."and knowing is half the battle!" (waits to be slapped)

This article is nothing but lies. My.......I mean, THE army of the undead is unstoppable! Some unknown mastermind has taught them to at least use handguns, through cunning use of a walkman!

So, now you're able to fight a quarter of me... hmm...

Your Samedi wants Giovanni steak.

BTW, a lot of that article is true. Very usefull here in New England, what with the constant zombie problems we face around here. Many types of ghouls and goblins make thier way here -- thank you very much, Stephen King.

"You killed zombie Flanders!"

"Flanders was a zombie?"

All Flesh Must Be Eaten.

'Nuff said.

Reminded of the line from Dead Alive:

Priest: "I kick ass for the lord"

Zombies will atack in the year 2035. They will be vector-based cartoons.

A real man only needs his hands....and a Double Barrel Shotgun to fight zombies.

A smart man needs a M-60

Ninja_Robot_Pirate_Zombie:

I think all got 75% of you down, we can now kill zombies, and everyone knows that the Ninjas natural enemy is the pirate, so those 2 factors cancel out........

Its just that damn robot thing, how do we defeat your strength that comes from you being metal. Maybe the secret lies in you eating old peoples medicine?

"This is pretty touch to do with your bare hands, so it's better to simply try to incompasitate the zombie and make a run for it."

Sheesh. Even Reagan knew how to spell.

Damn zombies, i'll never find a PVC catsuit thats fits properly by the time they wake up, still i have a rather nasty looking vorpal blade at the ready :)