Kazrath: Gah, I've heard that name but never bothered to look at a picture of her. She is odd shaped and not very attractive at all.

Why does anyone have any interest in her?

The same reason people rubberneck at a car accident.

We love schadenfreude.

So, does she have any idea who the father actually is?

Gonad the Ballbarian: My GOD that chick is tiny...

I thought all the references to her being small were exaggerated....

[i2.photobucket.com image 634x649]

/and FUGLY too...

Wait, does that cop have a boners?

The pretty brunette

More proof that the Daily Mail is full of shiat.

Y2Jericho: I stopped reading at The pretty brunette said she

Me too. Also... jebus, how tall is this thing? 3'4"?

The Jami Turman Fan Club: Gonad the Ballbarian: My GOD that chick is tiny...

I thought all the references to her being small were exaggerated....

[i2.photobucket.com image 634x649]

/and FUGLY too...

Wait, does that cop have a boners?

I like how that extra 's' slipped in. I can haz bonerz?

gojirast: So, does she have any idea who the father actually is?

metametameta: Nah, her sprogling is okay. One binge before she even knew she was pregnant isn't likely to do anything. The kid might not have even been implanted yet.

I agree with all of your post except the bolded. There is no way that anything taking half of its genetic code from that will ever be even close to okay.

Poor babby. No chance.

Morpheses: Y2Jericho: I stopped reading at The pretty brunette said she

Me too. Also... jebus, how tall is this thing? 3'4"?

She admits to 4'9", but I think that includes her platform hooker boots.

I just thought of a match made in heaven...

Snookie and Chumley from Pawn Stars...

Their kids would be soooo smart they could sharpen sticks!

/Sharpened lots of sticks as a kid.

doubled99: I predict she will give birth prematurely to a slimy ball of Ed Hardy shirts

You're the best.

Can the state just send CPS to the delivery room and take the child away as soon as it's born?

Rev. Skarekroe: Is she a midget?

Chilean. They're all fun sized.

animal900: One bender that early in the pregnancy will have no effect on the fetus.

Sorry to ruin the fun...

glad to hear that

I was afraid the child would be disadvantaged in some way

elev8meL8r: Ooompa Looompa, Doopity-Doo....

Made root beer float come out of my nose in the middle of a restaurant, just thought you'd like to know.

Oh noes! The child will be short, ugly and retarded! Wait ...

doubled99: I predict she will give birth prematurely to a slimy ball of Ed Hardy shirts

Gold, Jerry! GOLD!

The pretty brunette said she was terrified that her consumption of alcohol might have harmed the baby.

The fat little piece of trash is breeding? The horror! The baby will have FAS and will probably be blind from the coke and pill she takes.

Good news every one, the alien-human breeding program is a great success.

/you read this in farnsworth's voice.
//By spoil the child he means he is going to buy a custom crib/tanning bed.

See the red area?
It's too late now!

If there ever was a poster child for government forced abortion, this is it.

Marine1: This is a great tragedy for the human gene pool.

Seriously, there are guys in the IT and CS departments studying for masters degrees here at Mizzou who are still virgins at age 25 and have no hope of conceiving a child... and Snooki is pregnant.

Don't judge my people.

/26
//still virgin
///not in IT or CS

Teufelaffe: She's 4'9", I believe. Judging from the picture of her with her fiance, he's maybe 5'6", if that. That is going to be one motherfarking short kid when it grows up gets older.

Hopefully itll take after the dad. Im 5'1" and my husband is 6' but my 2 year old is over half of me already so hes going to take after his daddy, thank goodness.

FTA "...a pregnancy bump" more like her gunt.

Weebles wobble, but they won't fall down... unless they've been drinking, of course.

Boring story: my brother and I were preemies and are both short because our grandmother took a drug to prevent miscarriages.

Now then, are all the jabs at Snooki's uh, lack of height because of who she is or because she's vertically challenged? While she is a festering pustule on the boil on the stretch mark on the gargsntuan ass of society, she can't help being short.

/jokes about shorties make me so mad I could kick someone in the ankle

theorangeshield: Is it still ok that I'm constantly fueled by rage due to the fact that we live in a society that propels people like this into wealth and stardom for being nothing more than vice-ridden, horrible people?

Because I will be forever, I think.

build them up to watch them fall

One of my friends who lives in Jersey City said that he got stuck in a swarm of paparazzi who were trying to take pictures of her in a nail salon. That's another thing you shouldn't be doing while pregnant, breathing in the fumes and absorbing the chemicals in a nail salon.

Sybarite: The pretty brunette

Came to say something about that, one upped with Princess Bride reference. You win, sir.

I either learned a new word or made one up. Either way, you're welcome, Fark.

theorangeshield: Is it still ok that I'm constantly fueled by rage due to the fact that we live in a society that propels people like this into wealth and stardom for being nothing more than vice-ridden, horrible people?

Because I will be forever, I think.

It's probably not okay to be constantly fueled by rage. I mean. It's a little upsetting to think we give so much wealth and social power to idiots. While people like Jonathan Franzen and Brian Greene (yes, that's right, I'll use this as a cheap opportunity to mention a few favorite authors of mine, and yes I know they live very comfortably) are not lauded for what they do as widely. But. Oh well.

Fano: Gonad the Ballbarian: My GOD that chick is tiny...

I thought all the references to her being small were exaggerated....

[i2.photobucket.com image 634x649]

/and FUGLY too...

[0.media.sportspickle.cvcdn.com image 600x905]

Who knows, maybe that cop is larger than the brother from Everyone Loves Raymond

I laughed my ass of at that pic, thanks!

/she almost has to stand on her tip-toes to deliver a standing beej!

The best thing that can happen to that child is a miscarriage.

Gonad the Ballbarian: Fano: Gonad the Ballbarian: My GOD that chick is tiny...

I thought all the references to her being small were exaggerated....

[i2.photobucket.com image 634x649]

/and FUGLY too...

[0.media.sportspickle.cvcdn.com image 600x905]

Who knows, maybe that cop is larger than the brother from Everyone Loves Raymond

I laughed my ass of at that pic, thanks!

/she almost has to stand on her tip-toes to deliver a standing beej!

Tip o' the hat to you sir.

Holy crap I just realized. We're going to be dealing with all Snooki's pre-natal, birth, and post-natal goodness all coming to us from MTV. Yay! Snooki's having a baby buys them another year of easy, cheap, mindless programming.

-fb?

/obligatory

I'm still hoping for her to bleed out like a member of the Crazy 88s.

Oompa Loompa doompadee doo
I've got a tragic example for you
Oompa Loompa doompadah dee
There is no hope for this little baby

What do you get when your mom is a drunk?
Drinking while pregnant, who woulda thunk?
A messed up face with an upturned nose,
disfigured fingers and misshapen toes.

Oompa Loompa Doompadee Dah
Bad luck for you have this biatch as your Ma.
You will be short and live with an orange hue
Like the Oompa
Oompa Loompa doompadee do

WalMartian: fruitloop: The 31-year-old DJ - real name Paul DelVecchio - also vowed to 'spoil' Snooki's tot

Is that a euphemism?

I'd bet Snooki's tot has already spoiled.



Does not want tot.