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(The Blemish)   Vagina bedazzler and preemptive wedding ring picker Jennifer Love Hewitt isn't sure why men don't hit on her   (theblemish.com) divider line 131
    More: Amusing, wedding ring, pole dancing, Jennifer Love Hewitt  
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8445 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 07 Mar 2012 at 8:51 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-07 04:06:33 PM
I wish people would learn the difference between vulva and vagina.
 
2012-03-07 04:08:02 PM
Same reason you don't ask how much a tune-up on a Lamborghini costs

/if you have to ask, you can't afford it
 
2012-03-07 04:08:23 PM
It's because I'm married, honey.

/otherwise, like an angry fist.........
 
2012-03-07 04:28:26 PM
what is it with all these hot actresses complaining that they don't get dates?
 
2012-03-07 05:22:42 PM

ManateeGag: what is it with all these hot actresses complaining that they don't get dates?


Translation: the men I'd like don't hit on me.

Everyone wants a partner that raises their status. For rich old men, a hot blonde is enough. She's living status. For a chick, you need that social power as a man. More money, more power, more something.

So as a top shelf actress, there literally no one in your potential dating pool except major politicians and other stars, and they're in short supply.
 
2012-03-07 05:38:25 PM

doglover: ManateeGag: what is it with all these hot actresses complaining that they don't get dates?

Translation: the men I'd like don't hit on me.

Everyone wants a partner that raises their status. For rich old men, a hot blonde is enough. She's living status. For a chick, you need that social power as a man. More money, more power, more something.

So as a top shelf actress, there literally no one in your potential dating pool except major politicians and other stars, and they're in short supply.


So, is Christina Hendricks marrying Snozberries guy the exception that proves the rule?
 
2012-03-07 06:21:48 PM
WOULD FIST HER LIKE AN ANGRY G ... oh wait
 
2012-03-07 06:43:19 PM
FTA It's horrible to say, but I like my boobs.

Horrible?
HORRIBLE??
H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E???
 
2012-03-07 06:43:43 PM
She seems like the kind of woman who you'd sleep with once for fun and she'd start showing up at your job every day afterwards for a year. Wearing a wedding dress and leaving a trail of scattered bedazzles behind her.
 
2012-03-07 06:53:19 PM

FirstNationalBastard: doglover: ManateeGag: what is it with all these hot actresses complaining that they don't get dates?

Translation: the men I'd like don't hit on me.

Everyone wants a partner that raises their status. For rich old men, a hot blonde is enough. She's living status. For a chick, you need that social power as a man. More money, more power, more something.

So as a top shelf actress, there literally no one in your potential dating pool except major politicians and other stars, and they're in short supply.

So, is Christina Hendricks marrying Snozberries guy the exception that proves the rule?


Rivers flow in one direction. That's nature.

Boats can go upstream, downstream, and side to side. That's free will.

The metaphor is you can do whatever you want(boat) but the general flow of things will be as it has always been (river)

Look at every preceding generation. Humans have changed religion, language, ethics, clothing, and yet translations of the old stories find that nothing's really changed inside. Tiger Woods' "scandal" shocked 0 people, or should have. A ten minute overview of the Greek gods and we know what's going on in the upper crust.
 
2012-03-07 06:59:51 PM

doglover: Rivers flow in one direction. That's nature.

Boats can go upstream, downstream, and side to side. That's free will.

The metaphor is you can do whatever you want(boat) but the general flow of things will be as it has always been (river)


Unless you're an ordinary dude who wants to bang J-Love. That ain't happening, unless maybe you're a really buffed technician on one of her films.
 
2012-03-07 07:08:41 PM

Ed Finnerty: She seems like the kind of woman who you'd sleep with once for fun and she'd start showing up at your job every day afterwards for a year. Wearing a wedding dress and leaving a trail of scattered bedazzles behind her.


bingo..
The review I read of her book, (that there is no way in hell I would read) had her pegged as a self identified full-on clingy nut bar. Shame too, someone that hot really very quickly becomes not hot when she's that clingy.

/it kept her off my 'fantasy do' list with my wife.
 
2012-03-07 07:10:07 PM

Ed Finnerty: She seems like the kind of woman who you'd sleep with once for fun and she'd start showing up at your job every day afterwards for a year. Wearing a wedding dress and leaving a trail of scattered bedazzles behind her.


I'll bet she can boil a mean bunny, though.
 
2012-03-07 07:11:19 PM
Jennifer, I would totes love to show you my etchings. TOTES!
 
2012-03-07 07:13:27 PM
I'd hit it, but I can't afford bedazzled vagina. :(
 
2012-03-07 07:15:05 PM

sno man: The review I read of her book, (that there is no way in hell I would read) had her pegged as a self identified full-on clingy nut bar. Shame too, someone that hot really very quickly becomes not hot when she's that clingy.


Meh, not a deal breaker ...

/at least in the beginning
 
2012-03-07 07:15:52 PM
Hell, I don't even have the skills to close the deal on an Fat D&D chick. So my chances with her would be worse...
 
2012-03-07 07:27:03 PM

Bagelox-99: doglover: Rivers flow in one direction. That's nature.

Boats can go upstream, downstream, and side to side. That's free will.

The metaphor is you can do whatever you want(boat) but the general flow of things will be as it has always been (river)

Unless you're an ordinary dude who wants to bang J-Love. That ain't happening, unless maybe you're a really buffed technician on one of her films.


That's my point.

She's being hit on plenty, or would be. But she doesn't want what she would get in any public place in the country. She wants what she can get; ie someone who'll improve her life. Another star or a politician. Until one shows up it's rent-a-boys with big muscles and sealed lips.
 
2012-03-07 07:50:07 PM
Alright guys, I'm willing to take one for the team. I will go and hit on Ms. Hewitt. Wish me well.
 
2012-03-07 08:07:16 PM
I'll hit on her. Standard first date. Does she prefer Mazola oil or Canola?
 
2012-03-07 08:18:56 PM
Jen, email me.

I'm not ugly compared to a deformed warthog
 
2012-03-07 08:50:43 PM

doglover: ManateeGag: what is it with all these hot actresses complaining that they don't get dates?

Translation: the men I'd like don't hit on me.

Everyone wants a partner that raises their status. For rich old men, a hot blonde is enough. She's living status. For a chick, you need that social power as a man. More money, more power, more something.

So as a top shelf actress, there literally no one in your potential dating pool except major politicians and other stars, and they're in short supply.


Exactly. Women look to marry up. However, in Jennifer's case, she'd have to do what Salma Hayek did and marry a billiionaire as she already has money and fame.
 
2012-03-07 08:58:04 PM

rkiller1: FTA It's horrible to say, but I like my boobs.

Horrible?
HORRIBLE??
H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E???


Maybe she meant to say whorrish?
 
2012-03-07 08:59:35 PM
I just wanted to say "vajazzled"

That is all.
 
2012-03-07 09:01:58 PM
www.popcrunch.com

You'd think at least the Harpooner's would take a shot at you.
 
2012-03-07 09:02:56 PM
My women friends often ask me why guys hit on me so much. I tell them if you love video games, whiskey, sex and cooking (honestly, you can't fake it) plus never snoop or pry (I really don't care who your facebook 'friends' or email contacts are)you will do well. They then roll their eyes, tell me that snooping is completely acceptable and smart, text their boyfriend demanding some random shiat and proceed to throw a temper tantrum when he doesn't arrive immediately with said item. Fark these high-maintenance women, they leave all the good guys for women like me.
 
2012-03-07 09:05:58 PM
Eh, maybe an average guy would have a chance? Or slip a mean mickey. And have a second identity ready to go.

/has dated crazier
//wishes he hadn't
///is on third life
 
2012-03-07 09:07:12 PM

doglover: ManateeGag: what is it with all these hot actresses complaining that they don't get dates?

Translation: the men I'd like don't hit on me.

Everyone wants a partner that raises their status. For rich old men, a hot blonde is enough. She's living status. For a chick, you need that social power as a man. More money, more power, more something.

So as a top shelf actress, there literally no one in your potential dating pool except major politicians and other stars, and they're in short supply.


Julia Roberts married a cameraman.
 
2012-03-07 09:14:47 PM
i1125.photobucket.com


/You have been warned!
 
2012-03-07 09:20:58 PM
I'm not sure why, either.

Love, I'd love to penis you.
 
2012-03-07 09:21:05 PM

Haplo127x: My women friends often ask me why guys hit on me so much. I tell them if you love video games, whiskey, sex and cooking (honestly, you can't fake it) plus never snoop or pry (I really don't care who your facebook 'friends' or email contacts are)you will do well. They then roll their eyes, tell me that snooping is completely acceptable and smart, text their boyfriend demanding some random shiat and proceed to throw a temper tantrum when he doesn't arrive immediately with said item. Fark these high-maintenance women, they leave all the good guys for women like me.


I notice that you have both a horde and alliance character. IMPURE! HERETIC!!!!! A HOST OF OTHER INSULTS REVOLVING AROUND DISLOYALTY AND TREACHERY!!!!

Actually I left WoW shortly after cataclysm so it doesn't really make a difference to me. God I hope that planetside 2 or Guild Wars 2 or something will provide me some good pvp.
 
2012-03-07 09:26:06 PM

Gergesa: Haplo127x: My women friends often ask me why guys hit on me so much. I tell them if you love video games, whiskey, sex and cooking (honestly, you can't fake it) plus never snoop or pry (I really don't care who your facebook 'friends' or email contacts are)you will do well. They then roll their eyes, tell me that snooping is completely acceptable and smart, text their boyfriend demanding some random shiat and proceed to throw a temper tantrum when he doesn't arrive immediately with said item. Fark these high-maintenance women, they leave all the good guys for women like me.

I notice that you have both a horde and alliance character. IMPURE! HERETIC!!!!! A HOST OF OTHER INSULTS REVOLVING AROUND DISLOYALTY AND TREACHERY!!!!

Actually I left WoW shortly after cataclysm so it doesn't really make a difference to me. God I hope that planetside 2 or Guild Wars 2 or something will provide me some good pvp.


WHAT????? NO, that's a blood elf, God forbid. You just gave me a moment.
 
2012-03-07 09:28:24 PM

Haplo127x: My women friends often ask me why guys hit on me so much. I tell them if you love video games, whiskey, sex and cooking (honestly, you can't fake it) plus never snoop or pry (I really don't care who your facebook 'friends' or email contacts are)you will do well. They then roll their eyes, tell me that snooping is completely acceptable and smart, text their boyfriend demanding some random shiat and proceed to throw a temper tantrum when he doesn't arrive immediately with said item. Fark these high-maintenance women, they leave all the good guys for women like me.


How YOU doon'?
 
2012-03-07 09:28:45 PM

doglover: A ten minute overview of the Greek gods and we know what's going on in the upper crust.


Yep- the same shiat that goes on in the lower crust, and the middle crust, and every crust in between.
 
2012-03-07 09:31:34 PM

Delay: I'll hit on her. Standard first date. Does she prefer Mazola oil or Canola?


www.blogcdn.com

/Flo had it going on back in the day.
//Mom always said, "don't play ball in the house."
///Who the hell is this Oliver character?
 
2012-03-07 09:32:24 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Same reason you don't ask how much a tune-up on a Lamborghini costs

/if you have to ask, you can't afford it


I'm thinking 800$ plus parts.
 
2012-03-07 09:32:50 PM
Serious question: Wouldn't the rhinestones be...well....irritating while bumping uglies?
 
2012-03-07 09:36:29 PM

NIXON YOU DOLT!!!!!: Serious question: Wouldn't the rhinestones be...well....irritating while bumping uglies?


That is your question...as a woman I have concerns that they may fall off *during* and then somehow be drilled up inside me. I will NOT be pasting Swarovski crystals on my crotch, that's for sure.
 
2012-03-07 09:38:46 PM
you have to wait for their brain to disengage from your tits before they'll be able to think to ask ya out lady
 
2012-03-07 09:38:54 PM

Haplo127x: NIXON YOU DOLT!!!!!: Serious question: Wouldn't the rhinestones be...well....irritating while bumping uglies?

That is your question...as a woman I have concerns that they may fall off *during* and then somehow be drilled up inside me. I will NOT be pasting Swarovski crystals on my crotch, that's for sure.


That was... vivid.

/and horrible to think of.
 
2012-03-07 09:39:10 PM
I should probably try to make some money off of this bit of advice but instead of sending me a self addressed stamped envelope and a money order for $399.99 I'll give you my advice for free.

Good looking women are intimidating to guys. Guys tend not to approach good looking women to hit on them. Take a chance and approach them.....you'll be suprised.
 
2012-03-07 09:41:15 PM

doglover: So as a top shelf actress


Were you able to type that with a straight face?
 
2012-03-07 09:42:57 PM

Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion: Haplo127x: My women friends often ask me why guys hit on me so much. I tell them if you love video games, whiskey, sex and cooking (honestly, you can't fake it) plus never snoop or pry (I really don't care who your facebook 'friends' or email contacts are)you will do well. They then roll their eyes, tell me that snooping is completely acceptable and smart, text their boyfriend demanding some random shiat and proceed to throw a temper tantrum when he doesn't arrive immediately with said item. Fark these high-maintenance women, they leave all the good guys for women like me.

How YOU doon'?


Probably fairly amused/disturbed if she's got a hit counter on her profile.
 
2012-03-07 09:43:40 PM

Giltric: Take a chance and approach them.....you'll be suprised.


I only hit on the lookers.
They come back with "no one ever tells me I'm smart, like you do"
or "why do you want to cook for me? I can cook circles around you"
/challenge accepted.

Usually, I just sit at the bar and ignore them. They come to me.
 
2012-03-07 09:45:53 PM

Yukon Callmeal: Delay: I'll hit on her. Standard first date. Does she prefer Mazola oil or Canola?

[www.blogcdn.com image 300x400]

/Flo had it going on back in the day.
//Mom always said, "don't play ball in the house."
///Who the hell is this Oliver character?


gotta be Mazola....

zoom zoom zoom indeed!
 
2012-03-07 09:46:49 PM

Giltric: I should probably try to make some money off of this bit of advice but instead of sending me a self addressed stamped envelope and a money order for $399.99 I'll give you my advice for free.

Good looking women are intimidating to guys. Guys tend not to approach good looking women to hit on them. Take a chance and approach them.....you'll be suprised.


Bull. Good-looking women are constantly being hit on by guys, just not always the guys you'd expect. You would be shocked how many "betas" have the nerve to approach a very attractive woman while the so-called "alphas" sit back and wait for her to come to them or just avoid over the fear of rejection. Being a hot woman means you get hit on all the time unless you are an unapproachable biatch.
 
2012-03-07 09:47:21 PM

StoPPeRmobile: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Same reason you don't ask how much a tune-up on a Lamborghini costs

/if you have to ask, you can't afford it

I'm thinking 800$ plus parts.


No clue, but the Lamborghini Countach motor from the '70s apparently had to be completely rebuilt every 10,000miles or so. So my guess would be higher. On this thread's topic, I'm going with "no". I don't mind a bit of padding, so long as the beer gut is a good bit smaller than the rack, but jeebus, I just absolutely hate her acting, to the point where I want to throw shiat at my TV screen.
 
2012-03-07 09:48:06 PM

Haplo127x: Gergesa: Haplo127x: My women friends often ask me why guys hit on me so much. I tell them if you love video games, whiskey, sex and cooking (honestly, you can't fake it) plus never snoop or pry (I really don't care who your facebook 'friends' or email contacts are)you will do well. They then roll their eyes, tell me that snooping is completely acceptable and smart, text their boyfriend demanding some random shiat and proceed to throw a temper tantrum when he doesn't arrive immediately with said item. Fark these high-maintenance women, they leave all the good guys for women like me.

I notice that you have both a horde and alliance character. IMPURE! HERETIC!!!!! A HOST OF OTHER INSULTS REVOLVING AROUND DISLOYALTY AND TREACHERY!!!!

Actually I left WoW shortly after cataclysm so it doesn't really make a difference to me. God I hope that planetside 2 or Guild Wars 2 or something will provide me some good pvp.

WHAT????? NO, that's a blood elf, God forbid. You just gave me a moment.


Oh you're right it is. Wasn't paying close enough attention. Oh well.
 
2012-03-07 09:48:14 PM
She's extremely attractive. I'd love to go one some dates with her!

The unfortunate reality is that my looks, income, power and confidence don't get close enough to the kind of guy she is looking for. So unless I somehow save her life in some freak accident ... I don't see it ever happening.

/JLH was my first boyhood celebrity-crush
 
2012-03-07 09:52:43 PM
Rodeo Rules! 8 seconds and get off. Not that I'm into that. The little clowns scare me too much. Reality: Too old, too ugly, smells funny, and yes I'm talking about me not her. But in all fairness her booty is trespassing. Boundaries are being ignored. The Piece Treaty is in dispute.
 
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