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(Yorkshire Evening Post)   Fries shortage, Playstation ban, poor standard of hot chocolate. Complaints from your average teenager? Think again. These are moans from prisoners   (yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk) divider line 76
    More: Dumbass, PlayStation  
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4131 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Mar 2012 at 9:36 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-07 09:26:32 AM  
I'm all for Playstations in prisons. It has to be more cost-effective than guards at stopping riots, stabbings, gang plots, etc.

Hell, buy random obsolete consoles with bundles of horrible games off Ebay for $10. Given the choice between Superman 64 or staring at the wall, I'd bet that 70% of the time, Superman 64 wins every time.
 
2012-03-07 09:41:03 AM  
Really? No "It weren't me"?
 
2012-03-07 09:43:01 AM  
'Course, you can make a pretty good sangria in the terlet...
 
2012-03-07 09:43:34 AM  

chimp_ninja: I'm all for Playstations in prisons. It has to be more cost-effective than guards at stopping riots, stabbings, gang plots, etc.

Hell, buy random obsolete consoles with bundles of horrible games off Ebay for $10. Given the choice between Superman 64 or staring at the wall, I'd bet that 70% of the time, Superman 64 wins every time.


Welll....

Given how many drug offenders are in prison (violent or nonviolent) it seems counterproductive to give video games to people who have exhibited a tendency towards addiction behaviors.

Then again I'm one of those people who think prison should be about rehabilitation.

If we just need to shut them up for a few years so they can get institutionalized, get out, violate parole, and get back in, then awesome. Get a stack of old Dells and a separate WoW shard for the department of corrections.

But they're not making furniture for slave wages then, so there's no incentive there either.
 
2012-03-07 09:44:44 AM  

Fano: 'Course, you can make a pretty good sangria in the terlet...


cache.jezebel.com
 
2012-03-07 09:46:53 AM  
When hot chocolate is bartered for sexual slaves you better believe a high quality is desired.
 
2012-03-07 09:46:59 AM  
Others wanted access to grooming equipment like beard trimmers and razors, while one inmate asked for a quilt.

A total of nine prisoners complained on December 5 because it was "cold on wing and in cell", while one inmate whinged to staff about "works outside of window at 3am" on October 21.


Clearly they should all be flogged daily for such insolence. If they didn't want to be thrown in prison, they should never have allowed their car to have been illegally searched and let that marijuana residue in the ash tray been discovered.
 
2012-03-07 09:48:10 AM  
What level security prison is it? If it's minimum security, big whoop. Let the well behaved inmates have their distractions. It shouldn't be a Hilton, but these people are joining society again before too long. No need to drive them insane before release because they did some stupid thing and got locked up for 6 months.

Now if it's higher security dealing with dangerous felons, then yeah... It's supposed to suck. Save the frills for the best behaving and most cooperative inmates.

/just saw a BBC documentary on Russia's prisons... Those people are no joke.
 
2012-03-07 09:48:12 AM  
Meh...depends what yer in prison for. If it's non-violent and weed related, you don't need to be there anyway IMHO.

violent offenders in for a LONG duration should be working towards a GED or college degree, or the alternative of doing hard labor, not sitting around playing games and eating fries (and complaining about it). Granted, if they're in long enough they may not be able to use it, but they 'may' have a chance when they get out.
 
2012-03-07 09:53:26 AM  
I can't believe they even allow for a complaint system. These dirtbags are in prison for serious reasons and don't deserve warm water much less a PlayStation or television. And to complain about the food? What did these animals think prison food was going to be like? They should serve them nothing but dry kibble and rainwater. No wonder we got such high recidivism rates if we're running our jails and prisons like low grade hotels.

If I was warden, I'd bolt an electric shock caller around every single inmates neck. One person steps out of line, I throw the switch on the entire prison, sending them all writhing in agony on the floors of their sparse, concrete cells. The first offense of the day gets you a three second shock and the time doubles from there with each subsequent offense. These are grown people, not little children that you can train with patience and reason. The only way these sacks of filth are going to learn anything is through the immediate consequence of pain.

I'm for shorter, tougher sentences. I could make six months feel like six years. The last thing one of these guys would want to do is come back, much less make a career out of criminality. No televisions, no social interaction, no speaking at all. I blame movies like Shawshank Redemption and Green Mile for putting a human mask on vicious animals. People seem to forget that these are just movies, designed to pull at your heartstrings. We need a serious crackdown in this country or our prison populations will continue to rise exponentially.
 
2012-03-07 09:55:13 AM  

ihatedumbpeople: violent offenders in for a LONG duration should be working towards a GED or college degree, or the alternative of doing hard labor, not sitting around playing games and eating fries (and complaining about it).


Yeah, because normal college kids don't play video games or eat fries and whine.

Granted, if they're in long enough they may not be able to use it, but they 'may' have a chance when they get out.

That's the bigger issue. They're almost certainly unemployable, even if they got a PhD. The government should offer reduced civil liability or financial subsidies for hiring ex-cons - that would do more than anything else to prevent re-offending.
 
2012-03-07 09:58:23 AM  
Well at least they did not complain, "not enough sex in the showers."
 
2012-03-07 09:59:24 AM  
Interesting that no one complained about the shower rapings.
 
2012-03-07 09:59:49 AM  
i519.photobucket.com
Depends on where you go, sometimes the sandwiches are always served fresh.
 
2012-03-07 09:59:53 AM  
 
2012-03-07 10:00:02 AM  

spentmiles: I can't believe they even allow for a complaint system. These dirtbags are in prison for serious reasons and don't deserve warm water much less a PlayStation or television. And to complain about the food? What did these animals think prison food was going to be like? They should serve them nothing but dry kibble and rainwater. No wonder we got such high recidivism rates if we're running our jails and prisons like low grade hotels.

If I was warden, I'd bolt an electric shock caller around every single inmates neck. One person steps out of line, I throw the switch on the entire prison, sending them all writhing in agony on the floors of their sparse, concrete cells. The first offense of the day gets you a three second shock and the time doubles from there with each subsequent offense. These are grown people, not little children that you can train with patience and reason. The only way these sacks of filth are going to learn anything is through the immediate consequence of pain.

I'm for shorter, tougher sentences. I could make six months feel like six years. The last thing one of these guys would want to do is come back, much less make a career out of criminality. No televisions, no social interaction, no speaking at all. I blame movies like Shawshank Redemption and Green Mile for putting a human mask on vicious animals. People seem to forget that these are just movies, designed to pull at your heartstrings. We need a serious crackdown in this country or our prison populations will continue to rise exponentially.


i assume that this is a joke...
 
2012-03-07 10:05:19 AM  
You can argue all you want about how prisoners should be treated, but it's rather ridiculous to say someone with almost no comforts and a whole lot of time on their hands shouldn't notice when the tiniest rare luxury proves disappointing, or that they shouldn't complain when they've got nothing to lose. It would be pretty strange if they reacted differently.
 
2012-03-07 10:05:22 AM  

chimp_ninja: Superman 64


Hey, now. Prisoners have rights that protect them against excessively cruel punishments.

//Seriously, why haven't we converted most minimum-security-worthy crimes to fines/community service/etc? We waste too many resources on providing free housing to criminals that don't actually need to be kept apart for safety reasons as is.
 
2012-03-07 10:06:15 AM  

Nickster79: Interesting that no one complained about the shower rapings.

i.imgur.com
Of course not. If you wish to live, you just grin and bear it.
/and if you ask nicely, like a good little Prag, he just might slap some more axel grease on it.
 
2012-03-07 10:06:16 AM  
Some people forget how incredibly easy it is to not get thrown into jail.
 
2012-03-07 10:07:24 AM  

proteus_b: spentmiles: I can't believe they even allow for a complaint system. These dirtbags are in prison for serious reasons and don't deserve warm water much less a PlayStation or television. And to complain about the food? What did these animals think prison food was going to be like? They should serve them nothing but dry kibble and rainwater. No wonder we got such high recidivism rates if we're running our jails and prisons like low grade hotels.

If I was warden, I'd bolt an electric shock caller around every single inmates neck. One person steps out of line, I throw the switch on the entire prison, sending them all writhing in agony on the floors of their sparse, concrete cells. The first offense of the day gets you a three second shock and the time doubles from there with each subsequent offense. These are grown people, not little children that you can train with patience and reason. The only way these sacks of filth are going to learn anything is through the immediate consequence of pain.

I'm for shorter, tougher sentences. I could make six months feel like six years. The last thing one of these guys would want to do is come back, much less make a career out of criminality. No televisions, no social interaction, no speaking at all. I blame movies like Shawshank Redemption and Green Mile for putting a human mask on vicious animals. People seem to forget that these are just movies, designed to pull at your heartstrings. We need a serious crackdown in this country or our prison populations will continue to rise exponentially.

i assume that this is a joke...


It is a joke. It's one of those hidden word things. If you go over the post carefully you'll find all the words to the opening verse of Elvis' Jailhouse Rock, America's first pro prison sex song. Very clever.
 
2012-03-07 10:08:11 AM  
These are moans from prisoners

Sounds more like they're all lyrics that Billy Joel edited out of We Didn't Start The Fire.
 
2012-03-07 10:09:11 AM  
You can measure the civilization of a society by the way it treats its prisoners
 
2012-03-07 10:13:14 AM  
So? Most are put in cages for violating some stupid arbitrary rule concocted by LCD authority wonks, scare-mongers and political opportunists. The legal high ground isn't all it believes itself to be. Mostly, it's a plague of abdication.
 
2012-03-07 10:14:26 AM  
You want to see a tough prison....

Russia's Black Dolphin prison (new window)

This is the way the prisons in the US should be run....it would eliminate a substantial amount of problems.
 
2012-03-07 10:14:58 AM  
i5.photobucket.com
 
2012-03-07 10:15:01 AM  

GORDON: Some people forget how incredibly easy it is to not get thrown into jail.


Step 1) Be white

Hey, that was easy!
 
2012-03-07 10:15:14 AM  

chimp_ninja: I'm all for Playstations in prisons. It has to be more cost-effective than guards at stopping riots, stabbings, gang plots, etc.

Hell, buy random obsolete consoles with bundles of horrible games off Ebay for $10. Given the choice between Superman 64 or staring at the wall, I'd bet that 70% of the time, Superman 64 wins every time.


I agree with this, except where the goal is rehab. If the goal is rehab, have them spend time working on GED, college degrees and/or job skills (i.e. have them do safe jobs in prison to build experience) so when they get out, they can get a job easier and be integrated into society. Obviously also give companies incentives to hire ex-cons. For drug cases (i.e. a 3 month sentence) and real-long term (i.e. in prison for life), then yeah, I agree. Or give them the option (work to better your life after getting out, or play PS3 all day, with other incentives for the 'better your life' option, such as reduced sentence upon meeting a goal).
 
2012-03-07 10:15:25 AM  
I worked in a federal high pen for a few years, worst job I ever had. These were individuals that were in for rape, murder and the like. Besides not having a weapon or defense tool on me and being in a housing unit by myself with over 120 of them walking around freely, my next biggest gripe about working there was the amount of crap we gave them.

I knew it was time to call it quits when I had to pass out christmas bags to these douchebags on christmas knowing full well there were children in our community that would wake up not having a christmas tree or even one gift. Don't get me started on the flatscreen tv's and computers.
 
2012-03-07 10:21:29 AM  

ferretman: You want to see a tough prison....

Russia's Black Dolphin prison (new window)

This is the way the prisons in the US should be run....it would eliminate a substantial amount of problems.


Damn, Russians are hard core!
 
2012-03-07 10:22:51 AM  
Most of these complaints were for investigations into missing stuff or a blankie.

Some, like sandwiches being expired, can be serious.
 
2012-03-07 10:23:08 AM  
It's their lives. It might seem stupid and petty to us because we have a lot of choices in life. They really don't.

I guess it also comes down to what you think prisons are for. If it's rehabilitation then they should be encouraged to do stuff that raises their worth in society.

If it's just to keep dangerous people away from the rest of us, then give them cheap stuff to keep them occupied until they die.

If it's punishment, then, I don't know, re-enact gimp scenes from pulp fiction or whatever turns a sicko like you on.

I personally subscribe to a combination of rehabilitation (for those who want it) and keeping dangerous people away from society (for those who don't want to rejoin society or raise their worth).

Most people in prison have lived pretty miserable lives already and punishment just seems redundant and unproductive.
 
2012-03-07 10:25:11 AM  

dropdfun: I worked in a federal high pen for a few years, worst job I ever had. These were individuals that were in for rape, murder and the like. Besides not having a weapon or defense tool on me and being in a housing unit by myself with over 120 of them walking around freely, my next biggest gripe about working there was the amount of crap we gave them.

I knew it was time to call it quits when I had to pass out christmas bags to these douchebags on christmas knowing full well there were children in our community that would wake up not having a christmas tree or even one gift. Don't get me started on the flatscreen tv's and computers.


there were probably children going hungry in those same locations as well. should we not feed the prisoners either?
 
2012-03-07 10:28:15 AM  

chimp_ninja: I'm all for Playstations in prisons. It has to be more cost-effective than guards at stopping riots, stabbings, gang plots, etc.


Not only that, but it tends to keep people a little flabby. I don't want a guy with 5 assault convictions coming out of jail with a 3% body fat.
 
2012-03-07 10:29:52 AM  

MythDragon: /and if you ask nicely, like a good little Prag, he just might slap some more axel grease on it.


I can't believe that he was so over the top hilarious as J. Jonah Jameson.
 
2012-03-07 10:32:51 AM  

dv-ous: Welll....

Given how many drug offenders are in prison (violent or nonviolent) it seems counterproductive to give video games to people who have exhibited a tendency towards addiction behaviors.


Video game addiction is probably less harmful than a drug addiction. Less expensive too.
 
2012-03-07 10:34:56 AM  

hitlersbrain: It's their lives. It might seem stupid and petty to us because we have a lot of choices in life. They really don't.

I guess it also comes down to what you think prisons are for. If it's rehabilitation then they should be encouraged to do stuff that raises their worth in society.

If it's just to keep dangerous people away from the rest of us, then give them cheap stuff to keep them occupied until they die.

If it's punishment, then, I don't know, re-enact gimp scenes from pulp fiction or whatever turns a sicko like you on.

I personally subscribe to a combination of rehabilitation (for those who want it) and keeping dangerous people away from society (for those who don't want to rejoin society or raise their worth).

Most people in prison have lived pretty miserable lives already and punishment just seems redundant and unproductive.


Or think of it this way: a lot of those prisoners probably were the kids that grew up without anything, so hey, at least now they're getting something.
 
2012-03-07 10:35:56 AM  

MBooda: These are moans from prisoners

Sounds more like they're all lyrics that Billy Joel edited out of We Didn't Start The Fire.


BBC, on the telly, got a shiv into my belly,
photographs, tracksuits and boxer shorts go lost.
No hot water, cannot shave, treated like a goddamn slave,
PS3, taken away, what more do I have to say?
 
2012-03-07 10:36:02 AM  
I knew it was time to call it quits when I had to pass out christmas bags to these douchebags on christmas knowing full well there were children in our community that would wake up not having a christmas tree or even one gift.

That's because their daddies are the ones you are passing out gift bags to.
 
2012-03-07 10:37:03 AM  

frepnog: dropdfun: I worked in a federal high pen for a few years, worst job I ever had. These were individuals that were in for rape, murder and the like. Besides not having a weapon or defense tool on me and being in a housing unit by myself with over 120 of them walking around freely, my next biggest gripe about working there was the amount of crap we gave them.

I knew it was time to call it quits when I had to pass out christmas bags to these douchebags on christmas knowing full well there were children in our community that would wake up not having a christmas tree or even one gift. Don't get me started on the flatscreen tv's and computers.

there were probably children going hungry in those same locations as well. should we not feed the prisoners either?


Sure, just not the quality of food we gave them. I mean really, why spend money on ice cream sammiches let alone brand name stuff you and I buy at the grocery store. Not too sure how the process went to get the food for the weekly menu but there were times where they got some gourmet shiat that you or I would pay $10 for just the desert depending on what type of resturaunt you were a patron of.

Guesss I had a huge issue with the deserts if ya haven't noticed. On more then one occasion when I worked the special housing unit and had to pass that crap out I would tell them straight up, you don't deserve this but there it is.
 
2012-03-07 10:42:13 AM  

rudemix: proteus_b: spentmiles: I can't believe they even allow for a complaint system. These dirtbags are in prison for serious reasons and don't deserve warm water much less a PlayStation or television. And to complain about the food? What did these animals think prison food was going to be like? They should serve them nothing but dry kibble and rainwater. No wonder we got such high recidivism rates if we're running our jails and prisons like low grade hotels.

If I was warden, I'd bolt an electric shock caller around every single inmates neck. One person steps out of line, I throw the switch on the entire prison, sending them all writhing in agony on the floors of their sparse, concrete cells. The first offense of the day gets you a three second shock and the time doubles from there with each subsequent offense. These are grown people, not little children that you can train with patience and reason. The only way these sacks of filth are going to learn anything is through the immediate consequence of pain.

I'm for shorter, tougher sentences. I could make six months feel like six years. The last thing one of these guys would want to do is come back, much less make a career out of criminality. No televisions, no social interaction, no speaking at all. I blame movies like Shawshank Redemption and Green Mile for putting a human mask on vicious animals. People seem to forget that these are just movies, designed to pull at your heartstrings. We need a serious crackdown in this country or our prison populations will continue to rise exponentially.

i assume that this is a joke...

It is a joke. It's one of those hidden word things. If you go over the post carefully you'll find all the words to the opening verse of Elvis' Jailhouse Rock, America's first pro prison sex song. Very clever.


I figured we found Sheriff Joe's Fark handle.
 
2012-03-07 10:54:31 AM  

dropdfun: Guesss I had a huge issue with the deserts if ya haven't noticed. On more then one occasion when I worked the special housing unit and had to pass that crap out I would tell them straight up, you don't deserve this but there it is.


So, they deserve the endemic rape, psychological torture, and slave-wage work, but ice cream sandwiches are a true miscarriage of justice. Got it.
 
2012-03-07 10:54:36 AM  

machoprogrammer: i.e. have them do safe jobs in prison


If they're already in for bank jobs, should we really be teaching them how to do safe jobs?
 
2012-03-07 10:58:44 AM  
I would, realistically, think that the absence of a top-quality non-Chinese anal lubricant would have #1 on the list.
 
2012-03-07 11:06:54 AM  

Cat With Two Heads: dropdfun: Guesss I had a huge issue with the deserts if ya haven't noticed. On more then one occasion when I worked the special housing unit and had to pass that crap out I would tell them straight up, you don't deserve this but there it is.

So, they deserve the endemic rape, psychological torture, and slave-wage work, but ice cream sandwiches are a true miscarriage of justice. Got it.


Well honestly the prison I worked at was full of snitches, if there was a rape we knew about rather quickly and it was not a very often thing like people are led to believe. Physchological torture, how so? If there was an issue physchologicaly one of the 6 physchologists that worked there full time could address it.

Think this is another gripe I have, peoples perception of what its really like on the inside, mind you this was federal and not state so I can't speak about state prison issues. But people that get out don't want to tell people on the outside that life isn't that bad, they have to hype it up and make shiat up so as to continue either I'm a hard ass that's been through hell perception or I'm the victim of the man perception
 
xcv
2012-03-07 11:10:15 AM  

hitlersbrain: It's their lives. It might seem stupid and petty to us because we have a lot of choices in life. They really don't.

I guess it also comes down to what you think prisons are for. If it's rehabilitation then they should be encouraged to do stuff that raises their worth in society.

If it's just to keep dangerous people away from the rest of us, then give them cheap stuff to keep them occupied until they die.

If it's punishment, then, I don't know, re-enact gimp scenes from pulp fiction or whatever turns a sicko like you on.

I personally subscribe to a combination of rehabilitation (for those who want it) and keeping dangerous people away from society (for those who don't want to rejoin society or raise their worth).

Most people in prison have lived pretty miserable lives already and punishment just

seems redundant and unproductive.


This.

When an animal harms people it's acceptable to either gently euthanize the beast or place it in protective custody, eg a shelter or zoo. The animal was just acting on its nature and further punishment would reflect negatively on humanity.

If the consensus values a harmonious, law-abiding society then ideally there would be an isolated, alternative society for individuals that threaten the peace to live out their lives instead of detaining them in inhumane, unproductive cages -- a wildlife refuge for broken people whose genes or conditioning led them to act inappropriately.

Is Australia still available? Seems only natural to send sex offenders and violent felons to a land where even the flora is out to kill.
 
2012-03-07 11:14:17 AM  
Prison Maitre D: And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint.

Inmate: No.

Prison Maitre D: Oh sir! It's only a tiny little thin one.

Inmate: No. fark off - I'm full... [Belches]

Prison Maitre D: Oh sir... it's only wafer thin.

Inmate: Look - I couldn't eat another thing. I'm absolutely stuffed. Bugger off.

Prison Maitre D: Oh sir, just... just one...

Inmate: Oh all right. Just one.

Prison Maitre D: Just the one, sir... voila... bon appetit...
 
2012-03-07 11:14:53 AM  

xcv: hitlersbrain: It's their lives. It might seem stupid and petty to us because we have a lot of choices in life. They really don't.

I guess it also comes down to what you think prisons are for. If it's rehabilitation then they should be encouraged to do stuff that raises their worth in society.

If it's just to keep dangerous people away from the rest of us, then give them cheap stuff to keep them occupied until they die.

If it's punishment, then, I don't know, re-enact gimp scenes from pulp fiction or whatever turns a sicko like you on.

I personally subscribe to a combination of rehabilitation (for those who want it) and keeping dangerous people away from society (for those who don't want to rejoin society or raise their worth).

Most people in prison have lived pretty miserable lives already and punishment just

seems redundant and unproductive.

This.

When an animal harms people it's acceptable to either gently euthanize the beast or place it in protective custody, eg a shelter or zoo. The animal was just acting on its nature and further punishment would reflect negatively on humanity.

If the consensus values a harmonious, law-abiding society then ideally there would be an isolated, alternative society for individuals that threaten the peace to live out their lives instead of detaining them in inhumane, unproductive cages -- a wildlife refuge for broken people whose genes or conditioning led them to act inappropriately.

Is Australia still available? Seems only natural to send sex offenders and violent felons to a land where even the flora is out to kill.


mimg.ugo.com

the duke of new york approves.
 
2012-03-07 11:19:08 AM  
If you don't truly and deeply believe that the loss of freedom is, in and of itself, a horrifying and terrible thing, then I weep for you.
 
2012-03-07 11:23:07 AM  

xcv: ideally there would be an isolated, alternative society for individuals that threaten the peace to live out their lives


They're called country clubs.
 
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