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(American Psychological Assoc)   Women are happier when men are as miserable as they are   (apa.org) divider line 139
    More: Obvious, Harvard Medical School, lead author, childhood sexual abuse, American Psychological Association  
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8806 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Mar 2012 at 10:40 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-06 11:39:41 PM

Jamdug!: Whores.


i.imgur.com
 
2012-03-06 11:40:33 PM

foxyshadis: soze: /emptying the dishwasher is women's work or else all the things are misplaced.

I've become used to finding things in the most random places. She'll start cooking, then do the dishes, and in the rush to clear the rack throws things in whatever open spot is nearest, or does it right after coming home, still in hyperefficient stocking mode. Then I get home and find a funnel and measuring cup in with the pint & wine glasses. =D


I am FOREVER clearing the table and putting forks and spoons in the fridge instead of the dishwasher. I have no explanation.
 
2012-03-06 11:42:24 PM

soze: Do the laundry and quit your biatching. If you feed and depoop the cats, perhaps you shall be allowed to service the MIGHTY Vagina tonight.


You describe my life!

Also (as far as the 'study' is concerned): Obvious
 
2012-03-06 11:42:40 PM

Thisbymaster: Know the feeling, going through the first stages of that right now myself.


Sorry to hear it...

Best advice I can give you, if it's really not going well, in no particular order:

1) record everything you can, write down notes about everything, regardless of how trivial... get a phone recorder, a portable one, video if you can.... If you have kids, video record your time with them... even if you don't need them for court, you'll still have video of your time with the kids.

2) have a companion at all times for anything that requires you to meet with her.

3) if you get a moment of "niceness" jump on it and get everything signed as fast as possible.

4) get it over as quickly as possible and move on

5) respect the law, if there's kids, pay support as much as makes sense and as you're able.... if you can manage an amount that is fair for a good amount of time, it'll be easier to get this amount approved on paper later on.

6) never argue about anything

7) as far as property... the only items that should matter are those that cannot be replaced... pictures, recordings, family heirlooms (gold watches from your grandfather that your father concealed throughout the time he was a POW), stuff like that. The rest you can replace in time.

8) never let her break your patience and don't succumb to hate... never fall for any sort of trap, especially in court, be quiet and let your lawyer handle it, unless you are representing yourself like I did, in which case, stick with the facts, demonstrate that if she says something wrong, be prepared to prove where the "misunderstanding" is and have something to back it up (hence #1)

9) if you have kids, explain to them that it just didn't work out like you wished it would have, that you love them, and will be there for them...etc. Never bring them into the fight.


I always explained to my kids that she was not really a bad person, just confused, and suffered from mental illness (seriously, she does, she's paranoid schizophrenic which explained a lot once she get her diagnostic) , and that it was not a life that I could survive and that I simply didn't want them to be at risk. Later on, I explained many more things, but it wasn't as a blame thing, but just a telling of the way things were, and I have a box full of the legal documents, police reports, etc. that they can read anytime they want.
 
2012-03-06 11:48:25 PM
So what do you call a woman with two black eyes?
 
2012-03-06 11:49:09 PM

imfallen_angel: I remember when my ex did everything she could to cause my trouble after I left her and the fight for the custody of the kids was going on.

She delighted in it, absolutely loved it...

She even admitted that she'd use the kids to get back at me and didn't care about the consequences.

Well.. she lost the kids, is still on welfare, medicated, no life, aline, while I rebuilt my life, managed to keep my career going and get a decent position, gained full and complete custody of the kids, met a great woman and married her, got a house, cars, friends, etc.

She still calls once in a blue moon, starting with the usual "calling to see how the kids are", but always go back to the usual crap and "remembering" the old days, bla bla bla... which makes me feel nauseous and no matter how much I tell her to just go and do something, rebuild her life, something, anything productive... she never does.

So all that nastiness didn't get her much after all.


She sounds like a coont and you sound like an idiot for marrying her and making crotchfruit with her.
 
2012-03-06 11:50:38 PM

The more you eat the more you fart: In reality, both men AND women are happier when they are with a partner who doesnt just ignore their feelings and/or opinons. This is nothing new


I hope you're a woman because this is decidedly not true for me and I imagine it's not true for most men. When I'm upset leave me the eff alone or make me laugh, unless I'm mad at you, then just leave me the eff alone and I'll come find you when I'm ready to move on.

I will do my best to empathize with you, and I am very empathetic - I'll be legitimately upset when you're upset, legitimately happy when you're happy and I've very good at sensing the difference in the moods of those around me. Get your hair trimmed by a quarter of an inch or wear a different shade of lipstick? I'll notice and tell you look great.

But if I'm pissed, leave me the eff alone. I don't want to talk about it - it won't make me feel better, it does the opposite, in fact.
 
2012-03-06 11:52:11 PM

TheEdibleSnuggie: So what do you call a woman with two black eyes?


Probably a non-Caucasian, they have a higher incidence of dark iris colours statistically.
 
2012-03-06 11:55:30 PM

Chinchillazilla: foxyshadis: soze: /emptying the dishwasher is women's work or else all the things are misplaced.

I've become used to finding things in the most random places. She'll start cooking, then do the dishes, and in the rush to clear the rack throws things in whatever open spot is nearest, or does it right after coming home, still in hyperefficient stocking mode. Then I get home and find a funnel and measuring cup in with the pint & wine glasses. =D

I am FOREVER clearing the table and putting forks and spoons in the fridge instead of the dishwasher. I have no explanation.


It's like calling someone Gary every morning despite knowing his name is Steve and remembering that fact 2 seconds after you say it, every time. Once subconscious mental habits are established, they're self-perpetuating and very hard to break.
 
2012-03-06 11:56:06 PM

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Gothnet:

Also from TFA - "Men like to know when their wife or girlfriend is happy while women really want the man in their life to know when they are upset,"

Doesn't this point to women being rather self centred, where men are concerned about their partner's state of mind, women are only concerned their partner understands their own?

Are you high?


No, I think he's said it just about right.
 
2012-03-06 11:58:24 PM

TheEdibleSnuggie: So what do you call a woman with two black eyes?


a battered woman?
 
2012-03-07 12:01:09 AM
Knowing this will help deal with the b@tches out there. I added my HOA dues into a chapter 7 and it ticked off the HOA ruler lady. I rented a dumpster to clean out my house. Just to spite me she wrote up the legal papers to make me remove it. I thought about it, went to see her and made up a bs story, that as part of a settlement, I would get $5000 if left my house before it foreclosed and cleaned it up before I left. Then I thanked her said that now that I got her that letter, I no longer had to clean up before I left and still got the money! She was fuming when I left.

Women do not want to see a positive result when they want to hurt you. Try it!
 
2012-03-07 12:02:56 AM

TheEdibleSnuggie: So what do you call a woman with two black eyes?



Laquisha?
 
2012-03-07 12:03:07 AM

bigdanc: The more you eat the more you fart: In reality, both men AND women are happier when they are with a partner who doesnt just ignore their feelings and/or opinons. This is nothing new

I hope you're a woman because this is decidedly not true for me and I imagine it's not true for most men. When I'm upset leave me the eff alone or make me laugh, unless I'm mad at you, then just leave me the eff alone and I'll come find you when I'm ready to move on.

I will do my best to empathize with you, and I am very empathetic - I'll be legitimately upset when you're upset, legitimately happy when you're happy and I've very good at sensing the difference in the moods of those around me. Get your hair trimmed by a quarter of an inch or wear a different shade of lipstick? I'll notice and tell you look great.

But if I'm pissed, leave me the eff alone. I don't want to talk about it - it won't make me feel better, it does the opposite, in fact.


In my book, "secure enough to go away and not to take it personally when I'm in a really bad mood" IS a subset of "cares about my feelings (and understands my needs)." If someone insists on prying you open like a clam, I'm not going to blame you for blowing up.
 
2012-03-07 12:03:53 AM

flyinghouse99: Oh another one of these fark misogyny threads to remind me why I've had it up the here with men.


images.cheezburger.com
 
2012-03-07 12:09:37 AM

vegasj: GranoblasticMan: soze: Do the laundry and quit your biatching. If you feed and depoop the cats, perhaps you shall be allowed to service the MIGHTY Vagina tonight.

I think you mean depoop the litter box. Depooping the cats sounds like you're chasing them down with a vacuum hose attachment.

Just the running vacuum works too... scares the shiat outta em.


My cat is weird. He likes to ride around on my vacuum when I'm cleaning.
 
2012-03-07 12:13:18 AM
Maybe more men would be happy if they new how to appreciate a REAL woman when they saw one.
 
2012-03-07 12:20:23 AM

bigdanc: But if I'm pissed, leave me the eff alone. I don't want to talk about it - it won't make me feel better, it does the opposite, in fact.


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-03-07 12:25:29 AM

flyinghouse99: Oh another one of these fark misogyny threads to remind me why I've had it up the here with men.


You know, little lady, you're just helpin' us make our point...
 
2012-03-07 12:28:52 AM
Someone did a study, and you guys took 50,000 years, and you're JUST NOW starting to figure this out?

It is true that men are stupid and only think with their dicks, I guess.
 
2012-03-07 12:34:34 AM
If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
 
Oak
2012-03-07 12:42:45 AM
Guys:

It's only universally true for American woman. They're damaged by the culture during childhood and there's nothing you or anyone else can do about it.

Try a woman not born in the US, or one raised by two parents neither of whom was raised in the U.S.

/You're welcome in advance
 
2012-03-07 12:43:31 AM

Gothnet: I love women and I love being around women, but I may have been single too long - I do not miss the constant evaluation of the state of the relationship, nor the pointless wallowing in minor negatives.


Yeah, About to exit a marriage because of this.
 
2012-03-07 12:49:16 AM

TheEdibleSnuggie: So what do you call a woman with two black eyes?


Ling-Ling? Or maybe it was Tong Tong.
 
2012-03-07 12:51:28 AM
... so... I'm like one of the only posters who read the article?

Pro-tip, journalists - this is not a good basis for an inflammatory headline:
Researchers recruited 156 heterosexual couples... they also looked for couples with a history of domestic violence and/or childhood sexual abuse...
Each participant was asked to describe an incident with his or her partner over the past couple of months that was particularly frustrating, disappointing or upsetting... the researchers selected six 30-second clips from the videotape that had the highest rated negative or positive emotions by each partner. The researchers showed the clips to the participants and had them complete questionnaires about their feelings during each segment as well as their perceptions of their partner's feelings and effort to understand them during the discussion.
The researchers had participants in a first group (g=1) throw darts at a board with the resulting scores randomized and rated, while the second group (g=2) rolled dice to generate random scores. Each group's random score was then modified by a predetermined algorithm to generate a resulting happiness score which happens to coincide with the submitter's preconceived notions, as well as societal stereotypes (p=.05). Odds of achieving a greenlight were separately computed.


Suffice to say, it's not the most accurate of studies.
 
2012-03-07 12:52:53 AM

rubi_con_man: Gothnet: I love women and I love being around women, but I may have been single too long - I do not miss the constant evaluation of the state of the relationship, nor the pointless wallowing in minor negatives.

Yeah, About to exit a marriage because of this.


God, my ex-girlfriend would say "I love youuuu...do you love meeee?" about twenty times a day.
The more I said 'yes', the less I meant it.
And then there was the night I said 'no' and ended up calling 911.
 
2012-03-07 12:54:55 AM

Friction8r: "I don't pay to sleep with women, I pay them to leave when I'm done!" - Charlie Sheen

/FTW


Actually that was Frank Sinatra.
 
2012-03-07 12:55:28 AM
Women: can't live with 'em, and there's really nothing else for a heterosexual man to stick his dick in.
 
2012-03-07 12:57:45 AM

Theaetetus: The researchers had participants in a first group (g=1) throw darts at a board with the resulting scores randomized and rated, while the second group (g=2) rolled dice to generate random scores. Each group's random score was then modified by a predetermined algorithm to generate a resulting happiness score which happens to coincide with the submitter's preconceived notions, as well as societal stereotypes (p=.05). Odds of achieving a greenlight were separately computed.


Was this supposed to be funny?
 
2012-03-07 12:57:45 AM

FirstNationalBastard: Women: can't live with 'em, and there's really nothing else for a heterosexual man to stick his dick in.


That's why I have cats.
/did I say that out loud?
 
2012-03-07 01:04:22 AM

phrenicmonkey: rubi_con_man: Gothnet: I love women and I love being around women, but I may have been single too long - I do not miss the constant evaluation of the state of the relationship, nor the pointless wallowing in minor negatives.

Yeah, About to exit a marriage because of this.

God, my ex-girlfriend would say "I love youuuu...do you love meeee?" about twenty times a day.
The more I said 'yes', the less I meant it.
And then there was the night I said 'no' and ended up calling 911.


Cripes. My father lost a job because of that kind of thing. The phoning from my mom.

Men seem to like to date chatty, bubbly women who laugh at even their non-funny jokes. Then they're confused when the women get clingy and won't stop prying into their brain and constantly ask them about their feelings. Well, that's their personality. They attach themselves and then start to feed.
 
2012-03-07 01:05:14 AM
beat down (new window)

i'll just leave this here.
 
2012-03-07 01:07:12 AM
There are some real evil biatches out there, some were hurt before and now its payback (any man will do).
Some are just crazy. Some were raised by assholes... I've dated all three types.

Finally met and married a south American girl. Man what a difference. Machismo ftw.
 
2012-03-07 01:07:33 AM

flyinghouse99: Maybe more men would be happy if they new how to appreciate a REAL woman when they saw one.


rubber ones have more personality.

FirstNationalBastard: Women: can't live with 'em, and there's really nothing else for a heterosexual man to stick his dick in.


see above response.
 
2012-03-07 01:10:25 AM

spicorama:
Finally met and married a south American girl. Man what a difference. Machismo ftw.


So, you like women with machismo? NTAWWT...
 
2012-03-07 01:11:23 AM
Chris rock used this in his routines... women who come to their men with a problem don't want it solved, they just want to talk about how miserable they are with the problem, and the men are supposed to share the misery with them.

"Fellas, you want your woman to be happy? All you got to say is, ''How was your day?

''Honey, how was your day?'' Know why? 'Cause ''How was your day?'' is a 20 minute conversation to a woman.

And as a man, you don't really gotta talk. You gotta just act like you're talking.

''Get out of here. Go on! l don't believe it. 'You don't say! Really? Get out of here!" 'Go on. l don't believe it. You don't say? Get out of here. ''l told you that b*tch is crazy!''

You gotta throw in, ''l told you that b*tch crazy.'' You know why? 'Cause every woman's got another woman at her job that she can't stand.

Women, y'all exaggerate everything. You turn it into some Dynasty sh*t, like: ''She's trying to destroy me!''

What the f*ck are you talking about? You wrap up bags at J.C. Penney's! What's she doing, ripping up your paper?"
 
2012-03-07 01:19:50 AM

Theaetetus: spicorama:
Finally met and married a south American girl. Man what a difference. Machismo ftw.

So, you like women with machismo? NTAWWT...


South American women. Have you seen the sexy sexy staches?
 
2012-03-07 01:22:56 AM

soze: Do the laundry and quit your biatching. If you feed and depoop the cats, perhaps you shall be allowed to service the MIGHTY Vagina tonight.


I have you favorited from:

3301312submitter can sit his pimply ass down and shut his cheeto-stained piehole.

Thanks.
 
2012-03-07 01:23:24 AM

Theaetetus: spicorama:
Finally met and married a south American girl. Man what a difference. Machismo ftw.

So, you like women with machismo? NTAWWT...


They are not "liberated" which means they can actually be happy being a woman and treated like a lady.
My opening of doors and picking where to have dinner is not a stab against their ego... It just a totally different mentality. Not to say they are not strong or will let you push them around..oh no... But you deal with a lot less bullshiat.
 
2012-03-07 01:24:51 AM

GranoblasticMan: soze: Do the laundry and quit your biatching. If you feed and depoop the cats, perhaps you shall be allowed to service the MIGHTY Vagina tonight.

I think you mean depoop the litter box. Depooping the cats sounds like you're chasing them down with a vacuum hose attachment.


Yes, but it's SO much funnier that way.
 
2012-03-07 01:24:59 AM

spicorama: Theaetetus: spicorama:
Finally met and married a south American girl. Man what a difference. Machismo ftw.

So, you like women with machismo? NTAWWT...

They are not "liberated" which means an insecure guy can flex and they'll pretend to swoon while laughing at you behind your back.
My opening of doors and picking where to have dinner is not a stab against their ego... It just a totally different mentality. Not to say they are not strong or will let you push them around..oh no... But you deal with a lot less bullshiat.


Uh, yeah. You go with that...
 
2012-03-07 01:29:30 AM

Theaetetus: spicorama: Theaetetus: spicorama:
Finally met and married a south American girl. Man what a difference. Machismo ftw.

So, you like women with machismo? NTAWWT...

They are not "liberated" which means an insecure guy can flex and they'll pretend to swoon while laughing at you behind your back.
My opening of doors and picking where to have dinner is not a stab against their ego... It just a totally different mentality. Not to say they are not strong or will let you push them around..oh no... But you deal with a lot less bullshiat.

Uh, yeah. You go with that...


Well she is Brazilian so maybe there is a granny joke in there you could make...
 
2012-03-07 01:30:15 AM
Tranny* :)
 
2012-03-07 01:35:52 AM

FunkOut: South American women. Have you seen the sexy sexy staches?


Hey Vasquez. Have you ever been mistaken for a man?
 
2012-03-07 01:38:09 AM

spamdog: FunkOut: South American women. Have you seen the sexy sexy staches?

Hey Vasquez. Have you ever been mistaken for a man?


And the best thing about the traditionally feminine South American women is their ladylike jealous passion stabbings with a kitchen knife.
 
2012-03-07 01:41:52 AM

spamdog: FunkOut: South American women. Have you seen the sexy sexy staches?

Hey Vasquez. Have you ever been mistaken for a man?


This is going to sound ugly... But please don't confuse argentinian, Brazilian, Colombian, etc. with "Puebla Mexican"

It's called a Brazilian wax for a reason, culturally no hair is allowed ;)
 
2012-03-07 01:43:03 AM

FunkOut: spamdog: FunkOut: South American women. Have you seen the sexy sexy staches?

Hey Vasquez. Have you ever been mistaken for a man?

And the best thing about the traditionally feminine South American women is their ladylike jealous passion stabbings with a kitchen knife.


Ecuadorians are known to cut off your dick if you cheat... So there is that...
 
2012-03-07 01:44:02 AM

spicorama: This is going to sound ugly... But please don't confuse argentinian, Brazilian, Colombian, etc. with "Puebla Mexican"

It's called a Brazilian wax for a reason, culturally no hair is allowed ;)


Hahaha, very well. I don't know much about South America. It was just a quote from Aliens.
 
2012-03-07 01:44:53 AM

spicorama:
This is going to sound ugly... But please don't confuse argentinian, Brazilian, Colombian, etc. with "Puebla Mexican"

It's called a Brazilian wax for a reason, culturally no hair is allowed ;)


I knew some Argentinian guys in university. They regularly got hair extensions. And manicures.

Strangely, the Brazilian girl had blonde hair and a German last name.
 
2012-03-07 01:48:05 AM

FunkOut: spicorama:
This is going to sound ugly... But please don't confuse argentinian, Brazilian, Colombian, etc. with "Puebla Mexican"

It's called a Brazilian wax for a reason, culturally no hair is allowed ;)

I knew some Argentinian guys in university. They regularly got hair extensions. And manicures.

Strangely, the Brazilian girl had blonde hair and a German last name.


Yeah not that curious... Most argentinians have Italian last names. They are all white too.

Brazilians got the whole mulato remixed with german/Italian and of course Portuguese. It's a real nice mix if I do say so myself
 
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