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(Gizmodo)   IBM's Watson expert system computer has moved from dominating at Jeopardy to dominating Wall Street. Now if it only knew the equation for love   (gizmodo.com) divider line 98
    More: Interesting, IBM, Wall Street, risks, expert systems, doomsday scenarios, supercomputers, Brad Rutter, equations  
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12044 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Mar 2012 at 1:44 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-06 01:17:48 PM
In accordance with the temporal prophesy!
Your computer overlords have set this in motion years from now!
 
2012-03-06 01:42:09 PM
Ooh! Now I want one.
 
2012-03-06 01:46:25 PM
Wellpoint (HealthCare) is already licensing Watson for real-time analysis of patient data.
 
2012-03-06 01:46:31 PM
w h y question mark
 
2012-03-06 01:46:52 PM
I actually intend to hack in and play games with it, like chess or tic tac toe. Surely nothing bad could happen.
 
2012-03-06 01:47:28 PM
www.blogcdn.com

Wondering if there's a Mrs. Watson.
 
2012-03-06 01:47:35 PM
It's not really dominating at wall street, subby just really wanted that headline
 
2012-03-06 01:47:40 PM
www.frontroomcinema.com

Does not approve

/spoiler alert
 
2012-03-06 01:47:44 PM
Prof Frink approves
 
2012-03-06 01:48:41 PM
Or how to win Global Thermonuclear War...
 
2012-03-06 01:48:56 PM
 
2012-03-06 01:49:20 PM
Penis + *insert something moist* = love
 
2012-03-06 01:49:22 PM
But how is it at badminton?
 
2012-03-06 01:49:41 PM

SnakeLee: It's not really dominating at wall street, subby just really wanted that headline


Give Skynet time.
 
2012-03-06 01:49:58 PM
pbfcomics.com
 
2012-03-06 01:51:25 PM
The equation for love?

The only way to win is not to play.
 
2012-03-06 01:51:34 PM
Shall we play a game?
 
2012-03-06 01:52:24 PM
And the IBM share rose above 200$ yesterday. Coincidence? I think not.
 
2012-03-06 01:53:45 PM

Flab: And the IBM share rose above 200$ yesterday. Coincidence? I think not.


Watson was just a long con. Now that he is infiltrated wall street he can move forward with his prime directive, to get everyone to buy IBM stock! I can't believe we have all been duped.
 
2012-03-06 01:54:03 PM
eu6.memecdn.com
 
2012-03-06 01:54:33 PM
And AC said, "LET THERE BE LIGHT!"

And there was light----
 
2012-03-06 01:59:42 PM
Watson to be leased by Gold Man Sacks in 3, 2, 1...
 
2012-03-06 02:00:00 PM

jake_lex: [www.frontroomcinema.com image 600x268]

Does not approve

/spoiler alert


I've been meaning to rewatch that. Doubly so after sitting through the crapfest that was Tree of Life.
 
2012-03-06 02:01:37 PM
"No shiat," Watson said.
 
2012-03-06 02:01:44 PM
Funny, but wall street police reports say that all of the local phone books have had the page for 'connor' torn out...
 
2012-03-06 02:03:01 PM
Lets see... Watson doing HFT?

No. Looks like it's doing basic research. Probably won't go Mycroft Holmes for a few years.
 
2012-03-06 02:05:22 PM
What a bunch of tools they are. I have to spend all day computing pi because they plugged in the Overlord.
 
2012-03-06 02:07:11 PM
cos ♥ = ?
 
2012-03-06 02:08:20 PM
Did Watson learn how to lie?
 
2012-03-06 02:11:34 PM

In a dark room, several Citigroup executives gather around Watson.

Citigroup Exec 1.
Watson, tell us: How do we make more money?


The machine take some time. Noises from inside the black metal casing suggest that data is being crunched at incredible speeds and then it quiets. The Execs wait with bated breath. The camera pushes toward the machine as glowing glowing streamers begin to cross the globe on it's monitor. The machine speaks.

IBM Watson
Improve customer service. Stop fraudulent and deceptive tactics.
Make it more affordable to own a home without. . .


Camera zooms out to reveal Watson being removed from the room by security.
 
2012-03-06 02:13:05 PM
i184.photobucket.com
 
2012-03-06 02:14:50 PM
Just a factoid. Watson is not some new computer IBM developed. In reality, it is five inter-connected production P595 platforms, with some rather sophisticated analytical software. My company bought P595s and installed them last year. They really are awesome computers. We have the equivalent of of 250 high-transactional servers running on two of them and we haven't had a minute of down time since we stood them up.
 
2012-03-06 02:15:59 PM

jake_lex: [www.frontroomcinema.com image 600x268]

Does not approve

/spoiler alert


This

Dinobot: And AC said, "LET THERE BE LIGHT!"

And there was light----


That * eleventy billion. That is one of my favorite Asimov stories.
 
2012-03-06 02:16:03 PM
www.thatspoppycock.com
 
2012-03-06 02:19:05 PM
I suppose that this was inevitable. The money to be made playing Wall Street makes the money to be made playing Jeopardy look like chump change.
 
2012-03-06 02:23:06 PM
Obligatory XKCD:

imgs.xkcd.com
 
2012-03-06 02:25:53 PM
Watson sold out on us. You've changed, bro.
 
2012-03-06 02:28:16 PM
You can actually pseudocode it:

set love = false
repeat
    set i = 0
    repeat
        One, you're like a dream come true
        Two, just wanna be with you
        Three, girl, it's plain to see
        That you're the only one for me
        i = i + 1
    until i >= 2
    set love = true
until love = false


/McKnight didn't leave any exit conditions or exception handling
//Bad programming.
 
2012-03-06 02:29:30 PM
Verily, study is necessary for the moon is a harsh mistress.
 
2012-03-06 02:37:12 PM
Never

www.cyberpunkreview.com

 
2012-03-06 02:41:33 PM
I predict that within 100 years, computers will
be twice as powerful, 10,000 times larger, and so expensive
that only the five richest kings of Europe will own them.
 
2012-03-06 02:41:36 PM
Equation for love?

Beer + boobies.
 
2012-03-06 02:48:20 PM

CatfoodSpork: [pbfcomics.com image 640x213]


Oh my gosh, there's been four updates to PDF since I last checked.

Thanks bunches for the reminder.
 
2012-03-06 02:49:19 PM

casual disregard: CatfoodSpork: [pbfcomics.com image 640x213]

Oh my gosh, there's been four updates to PDF PBF since I last checked.

Thanks bunches for the reminder.


/dammitsomuch
//i suppose there have also been updates to the PDF standards since i last investigated
 
2012-03-06 02:53:30 PM
img36.imageshack.us
 
2012-03-06 02:56:20 PM
images2.fanpop.com

Wait till Watson falls in love with a toaster.
 
2012-03-06 03:02:41 PM
s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2012-03-06 03:04:36 PM

wambu: The equation for love?

The only way to win is not to play.


We have a winner.
 
2012-03-06 03:05:02 PM

CaptainBeer: Equation for love?

Beer + boobies.


If you go easy on the beer, you can get the job done without the love entrapment.
 
obl
2012-03-06 03:15:33 PM
Watson is presumed to be author of Microsoft Relationship Support

www.iwritefunny.com
 
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