FARK.com: (6979554) Pardon sir, but we would like to stay at your farm as the rest of this area is flooded. I hope you do not mind that we are THOUSANDS OF SPIDERS

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		Pardon sir, but we would like to stay at your farm as the rest of this area is flooded. I hope you do not mind that we are THOUSANDS OF SPIDERS (bbc.co.uk)		301
		More: Scary, Floods in Australia, Great Barrier Reef

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caddisfly		2012-03-06 03:41:15 PM

cannotsuggestaname: BKITU: Diogenes: OMGOMG THEY'RE ON ME!!!!

But seriously, must be hard to tell when a fly hits that web.

Looks more like emergency living space than a food net. Look, if you had the ability to build a shelter by shooting it out of your ass, and your town was flooded, you'd do it, wouldn't you?

I mean, the housing market is already borked, but the prospect of humans being able to generate instant shelters via rectal expulsion would send prices tumbling even further. However, the homeless problem would not exist anymore.

Scientists need to get on this. I'm farking brilliant.

I saw a one-legged homeless guy trying to do that last week. It is something I will never, ever, forget.

Hey, at least he slept in it and it kept him warm for a little while.

dennysgod		2012-03-06 03:42:01 PM

WTF, Australia, I mean really, WTF.

*shudders*

boatbetty		2012-03-06 03:43:06 PM

Spiders took over a park in Texas before.

i40.tinypic.com

abfalter		2012-03-06 03:43:08 PM

If there was ever a better time for an "aw, hell no!" I can't think of it.

caddisfly		2012-03-06 03:43:22 PM

katerbug72: [deadeven.files.wordpress.com image 300x300]

Mr. Dark sent them.

God I loved that movie. Race you to Netflix?

Hershey Highway Patrol		2012-03-06 03:44:19 PM

Now I wonder what spawn of Satan creature shows up to eat those spiders.

This text is now purple		2012-03-06 03:46:16 PM

Bukharin: Elandriel: Given the politeness of the headline, I can only imagine these spiders are all sporting top hats and monocles.

[www.silverfoxfilms.com image 640x640]

I was promised a monocle.

Max Awesome		2012-03-06 03:48:24 PM

JackieRabbit		2012-03-06 03:51:02 PM

bugmn99: [500motivators.com image 479x599]

Picky point: the picture shows a mass of "harvestmen," which are also called daddy long-legs. They are arachnids in the order Opiliones, but not spiders (order Araneae). There is such a thing as a daddy long-legs spider. Say, that course in invertebrate taxonomy finally paid off. Thank you college!

Mirrorz		2012-03-06 03:51:03 PM

Hershey Highway Patrol: Now I wonder what spawn of Satan creature shows up to eat those spiders.

Surely there is someone on one of those strange addiction type shows that has an spider-eating problem.

I mean if you can find a lady that eats toilet paper, I'm sure you can find a crazy motherf*cker to eat a few acres of spiders.

katerbug72		2012-03-06 03:51:15 PM

caddisfly: katerbug72: [deadeven.files.wordpress.com image 300x300]

Mr. Dark sent them.

God I loved that movie. Race you to Netflix?

Have it on the hard drive. ;)

WarszawaScream		2012-03-06 03:51:33 PM

I GUESS WE'RE NOT INTERESTED!

_/obscure?

Smelly Pirate Hooker		2012-03-06 03:52:25 PM

As long as they stay outside, I don't see the problem.

Just think of it as spider refugee camps. It's not like they wanna be all squished together in a tree or on a fencepost, but better that than drowning.

I bet spiders don't sit in their soon-to-be-flooded web and say, "Nope, I'm staying, I'm not gonna let a little flood chase me out of my home."

Spiders are smarter than people that way.

mylonitic		2012-03-06 03:54:42 PM

Made this for another thread, but still fitting:
i42.tinypic.com

Bermuda59		2012-03-06 03:56:39 PM

This is why they don't need an army. Who in their right mind would ever invade this place?

Lizard_SF		2012-03-06 03:56:53 PM

Came for the Shatner; left happy.

Apos		2012-03-06 03:57:17 PM

Max Awesome: [i42.photobucket.com image 640x558]

Vagina Spider.

Yikes!

HKWolf		2012-03-06 03:58:25 PM

Holy crap! I can handle the odd little spider now and then but whoa...

Damn, nature! You scary!

My Bologna Has A Maiden Name		2012-03-06 04:04:13 PM

Hmmm. We've probably all heard at some point or other of the wonderful properties of spider silk, but that the reason we can't farm it like silk worm silk is because spiders eat each other. Are all these refugee spiders engaged in a cannibalistic Battle Royal, or is there something very useful to be learned here?

cleveoh		2012-03-06 04:05:22 PM

Can't they just get the dingoes to eat the spiders, or are they on a strict baby-only diet?

Max Awesome		2012-03-06 04:07:49 PM

moops		2012-03-06 04:10:51 PM

cleveoh: Can't they just get the dingoes to eat the spiders, or are they on a strict baby-only diet?

They should release wave after wave of Chinese Needle Snakes. They'll wipe out the spiders.

Mega Steve		2012-03-06 04:11:43 PM

boogie_down: [i1057.photobucket.com image 600x480]

That's not entirely fair. I rather like Dannii Minogue's assets.

btraz70		2012-03-06 04:11:52 PM

Voiceofreason01		2012-03-06 04:12:02 PM

James!: Holy jesus mary mother of farking awful.

oh good, I was worried we didn't have that covered yet

/*shudders

wildsnowllama		2012-03-06 04:13:50 PM

elev8meL8r: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x276]

You're gonna need a bigger clock

Jesus! Every farking time I'm with a woman they say this! What the hell does the size of my time piece have to do with... Oh.

...

OOOOOH.

Odd Bird		2012-03-06 04:16:03 PM

Max Awesome: [The Mist, spider pic]

Can't decide if I should watch that or shat myself.

bugmn99		2012-03-06 04:16:10 PM

JackieRabbit: bugmn99: [500motivators.com image 479x599]

Picky point: the picture shows a mass of "harvestmen," which are also called daddy long-legs. They are arachnids in the order Opiliones, but not spiders (order Araneae). There is such a thing as a daddy long-legs spider. Say, that course in invertebrate taxonomy finally paid off. Thank you college!

Oh good. So you won't mind if I THROW THEM ALL OVER YOU!!!

PlatypusPuke		2012-03-06 04:17:17 PM

James!: Holy jesus mary mother of farking awful. Never go to Australia.

And you just now acquired this new motto?

Australia is designed to kill you. Cracked told me so.

Xaxor		2012-03-06 04:18:16 PM

SPIDER THREAD SPIDER THREAD

onfinite.com

Myria		2012-03-06 04:19:44 PM

Max Awesome: [i42.photobucket.com image 447x447]

I loved The Mist. It was one of the better horror movies I've ever seen. The ending was great, too, though extremely depressing.

Five Tails of Fury		2012-03-06 04:22:45 PM

Yeah, I think I'll cancel my flight to Australia.

not that I have a flight to Australia, but I will go reserve one right now specifically so I can then turn around and cancel that thing because JESUS CHRIST AUSTRALIA WTF?!?!!

suid		2012-03-06 04:24:06 PM

Vincibleman: [www.digitalbusstop.com image 570x697]

Dear Girlfriend,
I can make your boyfriend scream louder than you can.

Love,
Spiders..

jigger		2012-03-06 04:24:36 PM

Tashindi: [spotoffun.files.wordpress.com image 354x327]

Exactly.

Spiders are your friends. They don't bother you and they eat the bugs that actually do.

WarszawaScream		2012-03-06 04:28:59 PM

btraz70: [petcenter.info image 500x400]

Ok, so this is really weird. I'm an arachnophobe, right? But I'm getting better with spiders. I can kinda deal with them now. The little ones, they're ok. And the huge ones, tarantulas and bird-eaters, they're kinda ok too. So I see that herd of itty bitty spiders and I'm like "Aww, they're not in my house, that's cool, ok." And I see that big one and I'm like "All right, he's cool, he's all right there."

But when I look across the entire picture and I see that all those little ones right NEXT to that big one I just start to bug out and sssafljbvdjipaspfanklaf ;ifaabl naeg'plbgo;na eafub lsaf bjchsa

NO no no no no no no NO.

TheNewWinch		2012-03-06 04:29:35 PM

Myria: Max Awesome: [i42.photobucket.com image 447x447]

I loved The Mist. It was one of the better horror movies I've ever seen. The ending was great, too, though extremely depressing.

S King has a mediocre record of books to movie. Some Great, most 'meh' and some downright terrible. The book ending was much better, though ambiguous. I thought the movie ending of the Mist ruined was was otherwise a great movie.

Warlordtrooper		2012-03-06 04:31:12 PM

As was pointed out by others. NUKE IT FROM ORBIT.

farkin_Gary		2012-03-06 04:33:31 PM

I once met a spider named Mike.
I chanced upon him on a hike.
I chose not to squish him,
but good day did wish him,
for he dines on the bugs I dislike.

insert sarcastic comment		2012-03-06 04:33:46 PM

btraz70: [petcenter.info image 500x400]

I hate you so much

NASAM		2012-03-06 04:35:51 PM

Oh my dear lord.

That's my Room 101 right there.

/Shudder.

SpeckledJim		2012-03-06 04:36:23 PM

Just hanging out in my kitchen a few months ago

i.imgur.com

Codenamechaz		2012-03-06 04:37:30 PM

Don't worry, everyone. The solution will be ready in another 3 to 6 months

file.walagata.com

accidental ninja		2012-03-06 04:38:01 PM

Why do I keep clicking on these links???????

Max Awesome		2012-03-06 04:38:17 PM

Odd Bird: Max Awesome: [The Mist, spider pic]

Can't decide if I should watch that or shat myself.

Why not do both?

/actually, watch it. It's a pretty awesome, grim little movie.

jigger		2012-03-06 04:38:55 PM

Codenamechaz: Don't worry, everyone. The solution will be ready in another 3 to 6 months

[file.walagata.com image 600x323]

looks more like Strong Bad.

TheNewWinch		2012-03-06 04:39:11 PM

SpeckledJim: Just hanging out in my kitchen a few months ago

[i.imgur.com image 640x424]

Where do you live? Because i am going to stay at least 500 miles from wherever it is.

talulahgosh		2012-03-06 04:39:19 PM

The Southern Dandy: This reminds me of a csb...

When I was in junior high school, we were on the track running laps during P.E.. All of the sudden the sky was filled with what looked like little strings and balls of cotton that were descending on us. Everybody was having great fun trying to grab all the fluffiness...YAY!

Come to find out, it was millions of baby spiders on a once in a decade super hatching kinda thing. Luckily, we were able to wash them off in the showers as were were just finishing P.E.

/csb

NO.
NO CSB FOR YOU.
how did you not have horrible nightmares for the rest of your life?!

/i will, thankyouverymuch.

exatron		2012-03-06 04:39:29 PM

Return the slaaaaab.

TobiasStauhf		2012-03-06 04:39:34 PM

Apparently you assholes think it's funny to greenlight a shiatload of stories about how Australia is going to kill me in terrible, horrible, gawd-awful, spider-infested ways just a week before I leave for Brisbane. D':

/hold me um skurred