Awww c'mon. It makes it much easier to pick out the idiots without having to waste time interviewing them. You're just making more work for the rest of us.

I still find it shocking how many people claim to speak English yet still don't understand the various homophones. I can slightly forgive people for having difficulty with apostrophes, because they can be a bit tricky. But if you claim to know a language, you should probably actually know it.

/This thread should be interesting
//grammar nazi

Some great resume fails here (new window)

"Skills: Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail"
"I am great with the pubic."
"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
Reason for leaving: "I thought the world was coming to an end."

The last one answers the question to "What happened to all those people who quit their job because of Harold Camping's predicted apocalypse"

scottydoesntknow: BurnShrike: Awww c'mon. It makes it much easier to pick out the idiots without having to waste time interviewing them. You're just making more work for the rest of us.

Yea this. Having any kind of spelling or grammatical mistakes should immediately disqualify you. If you can't take the time to make sure YOUR OWN resume is correct, what in the hell will convince me you won't do the same in the position I'm hiring for?

Well, depends on the job. Do you really need to know how grammar works to bus tables or clean jizz off the lady's room wall when I'm done with it?

I once misspelled the word February.

I thought as I got older, writing a resume would get easier, but it's gotten harder. Now, just reading or typing the word resume makes my stomach twist and cramp.

brigid_fitch: Not mentioned in TFA:

Use a normal email address, for Christ's sake. Your name is fine. DON'T put moronic stuff like "chula69" or "s3xboi", both of which I've seen. And the weirdest was someone just last week using a Juno email. WTF? AOL users are bad enough. I don't even know what it says about a person still using Juno.

I'm sure an email address says a lot about a persons' innate ability to train, their work ethic, and how that individual would actually perform on the job.

You are why the word resume makes my stomach hurt.

I'm going to bury a sentence if I ever have to send a resume (which is probably never again) just to see if they read it.

- Proficient with systems integration and I pooped a little when I coughed while establishing inter-office communication channels.
- Proven and verifiable sales achievements that don't matter when you're smarter than most employees while attaining monthly sales quotas

Lunaville: brigid_fitch: Not mentioned in TFA:

Use a normal email address, for Christ's sake. Your name is fine. DON'T put moronic stuff like "chula69" or "s3xboi", both of which I've seen. And the weirdest was someone just last week using a Juno email. WTF? AOL users are bad enough. I don't even know what it says about a person still using Juno.

I'm sure an email address says a lot about a persons' innate ability to train, their work ethic, and how that individual would actually perform on the job.

You are why the word resume makes my stomach hurt.

If an applicant is not business-savvy enough to register a professionally-named gmail account specifically for their resume, I do not want to work with them.

scottydoesntknow: Having any kind of spelling or grammatical mistakes should immediately disqualify you. If you can't take the time to make sure YOUR OWN resume is correct, what in the hell will convince me you won't do the same in the position I'm hiring for?

Of course, there's a problem with being grammatically accurate, too: So many people are so bad at grammar and punctuation that they mistake correct for incorrect. This is a significant risk with "office admin with nothing better to do screens resumes" organizations and the ever-present "HR people are almost universally dingbats, but you have to get through them first" scenario.

(And, of course, you ended your sentence in a preposition... even if we let that slide, your sentence structure is a trainwreck. But I don't really want to pick on you specifically -- just the issue of "I review resumes with a keen eye and cut people mercilessly... but my grasp of written English is also weak.")

So an applicant -also- has to build resumes and cover letters with an eye for, "yes, that's correct... but does it *look* wrong to some people?" problems. So, even if it is correct, ya' must avoid any instance of "[noun] and me," or "[name-that-ends-in-s]'s," etc etc ad, nearly, infinitum.

Sigh.

The real bottom line is, though: Almost every job is filled by the ol' "someone who knows someone, regardless of actual candidate merit" protocol. Which -really- sucks if you don't know anyone.

/ has also wanted to bury an inappropriate sentence
// or direct honesty ("My resume is completely honest; no other example you are reading today is.")
/// or direct demand ("Seriously, you know you just need someone to start tackling that mountain of shiat that never gets addressed: Hire me.")

Wow, rules for apostrophes! I'm impressed. Since they're all over the place, it's nice of this little publication to "lay down the law", as it were.

I remember one online argument I had over apostrophe usage where my opponent said that what appear to me to be random attachment of apostrophe's to nouns ending in 's' was evidence of language standards evolving. I asked him if he could state the rule's that dictate which word's get an apostrophe under this evolved standard. The rest was silence.

'

and all this time I thought this is what a Homophone was.

"I can clearly see you're nuts."
Something you would say to the average farker in the politics tab.

"I can clearly see your nuts."
Something you would say to the average farker in a women's washroom.

jjorsett: The rest was silence.

'
Yeah, that's not a really well-defined area either. Let's just start with using complete sentences. I've read some really sloppy resumes that would make your hare stand on end.

/deliberate. Leave my bunny alone.

Interesting. So people are actually doing that sending out resumes thing in real life? I thought that was an urban legend.

The proper number of grammatical mistakes on a resume: ZERO.

Kar98: Interesting. So people are actually doing that sending out resumes thing in real life? I thought that was an urban legend.

Usually they are electronic, these days. Of course, they're most useful for those with actual work histories, so most farkers will never have seen or used one.

SFSailor: So an applicant -also- has to build resumes and cover letters with an eye for, "yes, that's correct... but does it *look* wrong to some people?" problems. So, even if it is correct, ya' must avoid any instance of "[noun] and me," or "[name-that-ends-in-s]'s," etc etc ad, nearly, infinitum.

I once changed a document word from 'preventative' to 'preventive'. I had to change it back because the customer insisted the first version was the correct one because, "That's the way everyone spells it". Fine, not my business if you look like a moron to anyone who knows grammar, just as long as you pay me and my name isn't on it.

LandStander: Grammatical mistakes not to make to not make on your résumé.

How could you bite on that but not the second sentence?

1) You assumed that the the first error was unintentional, but not the others?
2) You missed the more blatant errors?
3) Your attempt to show you're linguistic superiority was itself a joke? Like this?

I would always give them a 2-3 mistake margin. I know I can proofread something over and over again and still miss little things so I try and offer a bit of leeway.

However, if it is the job you're being hired for, no room for you!

4. Proofread and then proofread again

Too bloody right, mate. For years I used the same cover letter template and rewrote the main body paragraphs to tailor it to the job I was applying for. I don't know how many I sent out that contained the final line "I can be reached be email at..."

Could explain why I didn't get as many callbacks as I'd hoped.

INeedAName: I would always give them a 2-3 mistake margin. I know I can proofread something over and over again and still miss little things so I try and offer a bit of leeway.

However, if it is the job you're being hired for, no room for you!

That's what a fresh set of eyes are for. If you're so misanthropic that you have no friends, why should I hire you?

Mildot: and all this time I thought this is what a Homophone was.

[optimistworld.com image 230x230]

Or this:

Apostrophes are used for a few reasons: ...3. They indicate time or quantity. "two weeks' notice"

They should really explain that one better, because even though they do say that apostrophes don't indicate plurality, "quantity" seems to imply they do. I see "two weeks' notice" and "all in a day's work" apostrophes as possessive, like the notice is in the weeks or the work is in the day. I know it's weird, but that's how my brain works.

ajt167
They should really explain that one better, because even though they do say that apostrophes don't indicate plurality, "quantity" seems to imply they do. I see "two weeks' notice" and "all in a day's work" apostrophes as possessive, like the notice is in the weeks or the work is in the day. I know it's weird, but that's how my brain works.

I wouldn't call that weird, I would call it the correct* interpretation

/* - where "correct" is defined as "you agree with me"

Was reading resumes for post college entry level position last week.

Mistake #1: putting your GPA on your resume. Everything below a 3.4 I threw out.

Mistake #2: no job history during college. If you didn't work at least a summer job, the least you can do is lie to make it seem like you care.

So apparently the reason nobody called me after I sent out my resume was because their all to homophonic.

its spelt intrest fore u dat carez

what happens when there are grammatical/spelling mistakes in the job listings?

farking HR douchebags

Galloping Galoshes: Kar98: Interesting. So people are actually doing that sending out resumes thing in real life? I thought that was an urban legend.

Usually they are electronic, these days. Of course, they're most useful for those with actual work histories, so most farkers will never have seen or used one.

That's what I'm talking about, I've never gotten a job sending out resumes. It was either I knew somebody was hiring, or somebody came after me and offered me a job.

Some folk equate grammatical errors with intelligence. I suppose that's true in some cases, but it seems to me that the more important issue is related to the ability to focus and to communicate. If the only chance you have for someone to express interest in you or your skills is through a piece of paper, that piece of paper shouldn't provide an excuse for someone to issue demerits.

/anyone have the "get a brain Morans" photo?

I'm relaxed about most things. Bad grammar, however, drives me insane. I understand that there are confusing parts to grammar, I really do, but seeing people screw up the most basic stuff boggles my mind. I feel the same way about bad spelling.

If you receive a resume for an engineering position that has flawless grammar and spelling, throw it out; they clearly had someone else right it for them.

Let's eat grandma.

SoCalSurfer: Was reading resumes for post college entry level position last week.

Mistake #1: putting your GPA on your resume. Everything below a 3.4 I threw out.

Mistake #2: no job history during college. If you didn't work at least a summer job, the least you can do is lie to make it seem like you care.

Too harsh.

I worked through college and graduated with a 3.7 GPA. I also did not date at all for the last two years I was in college. By the time I reached my second semester of my senior year, I was so exhausted and depressed, I sort of wanted to die. What I told a good friend at the time was "I'm not suicidal. I just wish I could slip into a coma for a few months so I could rest without feeling guilty."

If someone else has Mommy and Daddy pay their way through, I'm not going to pass judgment on them.

Unless you're screening people who will have a direct impact on public health or safety, I wouldn't toss anything over a 3.0 GPA because having a life is also important.

brigid_fitch: Lunaville: brigid_fitch: Not mentioned in TFA:

Use a normal email address, for Christ's sake. Your name is fine. DON'T put moronic stuff like "chula69" or "s3xboi", both of which I've seen. And the weirdest was someone just last week using a Juno email. WTF? AOL users are bad enough. I don't even know what it says about a person still using Juno.

I'm sure an email address says a lot about a persons' innate ability to train, their work ethic, and how that individual would actually perform on the job.

Actually, yes it does. As Cat With Two Heads pointed out, you can show a minor amount of professionalism in registering a neutral email address. The AOL thing is an acknowledged prejudice among recruiters and there have been long discussions about it. It's more a matter of the TYPE of person who still uses AOL than anything else. In our experience, the vast majority of people who still use AOL email tend to have little or no computer skills and show a lack of initiative. They generally know how to type with Msft Word but that's about it. And anything more than basic internet searches elude them.

SoCalSurfer: Was reading resumes for post college entry level position last week.

Mistake #1: putting your GPA on your resume. Everything below a 3.4 I threw out.

Mistake #2: no job history during college. If you didn't work at least a summer job, the least you can do is lie to make it seem like you care.

I've always been annoyed by the GPA thing. When I was in college, I took lots of electives on subjects that I didn't know a lot about. A few of them were were pretty hard, and I ended up with high B's or low A's. One time I got a C. So, I challenged myself to learn something knew, and, like most people, didn't get the hang of it right away. That would bring down my GPA.

I had friends, though, who took classes about stuff they already knew (one guy speaks Chinese fluently and took Chinese), and did well, thus helping their GPA's. I had an ex tell me that I should have "played the game," and my GPA would have been better.

It just kind of sucks that you basically get rewarded for not trying to learn new stuff.

/Ended up with a 3.41, I think.

camtheman: SoCalSurfer: Was reading resumes for post college entry level position last week.

Mistake #1: putting your GPA on your resume. Everything below a 3.4 I threw out.

Mistake #2: no job history during college. If you didn't work at least a summer job, the least you can do is lie to make it seem like you care.

I've always been annoyed by the GPA thing. When I was in college, I took lots of electives on subjects that I didn't know a lot about. A few of them were were pretty hard, and I ended up with high B's or low A's. One time I got a C. So, I challenged myself to learn something knew, and, like most people, didn't get the hang of it right away. That would bring down my GPA.

I had friends, though, who took classes about stuff they already knew (one guy speaks Chinese fluently and took Chinese), and did well, thus helping their GPA's. I had an ex tell me that I should have "played the game," and my GPA would have been better.

It just kind of sucks that you basically get rewarded for not trying to learn new stuff.

/Ended up with a 3.41, I think.

Spelling fail. Dammit.

brigid_fitch: Lunaville: brigid_fitch: Not mentioned in TFA:

Use a normal email address, for Christ's sake. Your name is fine. DON'T put moronic stuff like "chula69" or "s3xboi", both of which I've seen. And the weirdest was someone just last week using a Juno email. WTF? AOL users are bad enough. I don't even know what it says about a person still using Juno.

I'm sure an email address says a lot about a persons' innate ability to train, their work ethic, and how that individual would actually perform on the job.

Actually, yes it does. As Cat With Two Heads pointed out, you can show a minor amount of professionalism in registering a neutral email address. The AOL thing is an acknowledged prejudice among recruiters and there have been long discussions about it. It's more a matter of the TYPE of person who still uses AOL than anything else. In our experience, the vast majority of people who still use AOL email tend to have little or no computer skills and show a lack of initiative. They generally know how to type with Msft Word but that's about it. And anything more than basic internet searches elude them.

I've heard stories that employers used to willing to provide some basic training to employees. It's probably one of those urban myths.

camtheman: camtheman: SoCalSurfer: Was reading resumes for post college entry level position last week.

Mistake #1: putting your GPA on your resume. Everything below a 3.4 I threw out.

Mistake #2: no job history during college. If you didn't work at least a summer job, the least you can do is lie to make it seem like you care.

I've always been annoyed by the GPA thing. When I was in college, I took lots of electives on subjects that I didn't know a lot about. A few of them were were pretty hard, and I ended up with high B's or low A's. One time I got a C. So, I challenged myself to learn something knew, and, like most people, didn't get the hang of it right away. That would bring down my GPA.

I had friends, though, who took classes about stuff they already knew (one guy speaks Chinese fluently and took Chinese), and did well, thus helping their GPA's. I had an ex tell me that I should have "played the game," and my GPA would have been better.

It just kind of sucks that you basically get rewarded for not trying to learn new stuff.

/Ended up with a 3.41, I think.

Spelling fail. Dammit.

I agree. Our cultural obsession with numbers drives people with little interest in the arts into Music and Art appreciation courses looking for an easy A. If electives, unrelated to a persons' major, were ungraded and didn't count towards a persons' GPA, you'd have more people trying out the occasional math or science class.

camtheman: It just kind of sucks that you basically get rewarded for not trying to learn new stuff.

/Ended up with a 3.41, I think.

I once took a graduate course, 800-level Women's Studies course as an undergrad, with only an intro course in the subject under my belt. I busted my ass, studied page after page of postmodern nonsense, asked every stupid remedial question while my classmates glared at the token white male, and barely got a D+. Killed my GPA, but learned far far more than I would have in another repetitious language class.