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(NYPost)   Not news: TSA confiscates woman's bottle of water. Fark: Lets her go with a dagger in her bag. Total Fark: takes 10 minutes for TSA to call the cops   (nypost.com) divider line 81
    More: Fail, TSA, JFK, TSA agents, JFK Airport  
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9871 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Mar 2012 at 4:17 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-05 04:21:36 AM  
Who's responsibility is it to call the cops? Is it the guy who finds the problem? The guy he reports it to? The guy who made the mistake? The woman who brought the knife? The guys in the back room looking at her naked pics?

You think it's all cut and dried, but there's a lot of questions that really aren't easy to answer here. The TSA has regulations it must follow. So you can't just have TSA officers running off and making phone calls. That might be above their pay grade. They need to consult with the person who is responsible for understanding the regulations. Is that person their manager? The police officer nearby? The woman who brought the knife? The guys in the back room looking at her naked pics?
 
2012-03-05 04:27:45 AM  
I made it out of America with an entire screwdriver kit in my carry-on a couple years ago. I had borrowed the backpack from my dad for the trip and it had about a billion pockets. The screwdrivers were in a pocket inside another pocket. Had no idea until they stopped me on the way out of Heathrow on the way home. Great job, TSA!
 
2012-03-05 04:28:05 AM  
I hate TSA

/done
 
2012-03-05 04:28:50 AM  

Chinchillazilla: I made it out of America with an entire screwdriver kit in my carry-on a couple years ago. I had borrowed the backpack from my dad for the trip and it had about a billion pockets. The screwdrivers were in a pocket inside another pocket. Had no idea until they stopped me on the way out of Heathrow on the way home. Great job, TSA!


Clearly, you weren't a threat. TSA has a perfect record at catching and stopping terrorists passing through the TSA checkpoints.
 
2012-03-05 04:30:53 AM  
Who would she use an antique dagger to protect herself from... the brigands on the high road?
 
2012-03-05 04:32:51 AM  
Your wonderful government unions at 'work.'
 
2012-03-05 04:33:13 AM  

Chinchillazilla: I made it out of America with an entire screwdriver kit in my carry-on a couple years ago. I had borrowed the backpack from my dad for the trip and it had about a billion pockets. The screwdrivers were in a pocket inside another pocket. Had no idea until they stopped me on the way out of Heathrow on the way home. Great job, TSA!


It wasn't a liquid, and didn't say "Coke", "Dasani", "Snapple", or "Nestea" on it, so you weren't a threat.
 
2012-03-05 04:34:15 AM  

Kilo Echo Gulf: Who would she use an antique dagger to protect herself from... the brigands on the high road?


I usually pay them off with a few dobloons and a fat goose from my goodly wife.
 
2012-03-05 04:48:29 AM  

Chinchillazilla: The screwdrivers were in a pocket inside another pocket.

userserve-ak.last.fm
 
2012-03-05 04:49:51 AM  
Why all the TSA hatred? Since the TSA was created not a single terrorist has made it past the TSA! Seems to me that the TSA is doing a great job on keeping America safe! Keep strip searching little children and triple-scanning cute women, guys. You are doing a great job.

:-D
 
2012-03-05 04:49:58 AM  
I read a lot about getting rid of the FDA and the Energy Dept and a few other critical areas of govt but oddly enough I never hear a politician on the stump about getting rid of the TSA.

Why i$ that I wonder?
 
2012-03-05 05:10:41 AM  

Kilo Echo Gulf: Who would she use an antique dagger to protect herself from... the brigands on the high road?


Modern knives, for example the kbar, aren't particularly suited for combat between a woman and a surprise assailant.

An "antique dagger" could be one of any number of weapons. Probably something lighter and concealable, which would help a woman without much brawn a lot more than what you'd give to a fighting man with training, muscles, and guns.

A stiletto, for example, can go through a damn near anything including some bullet proof vests with little strength. And a punch dagger is a nasty little surprise that isn't manufactured much these days. (don't even think they're legal most places)
 
2012-03-05 05:12:30 AM  
Hi! I was looking for a thread where smug-yet-outraged hipsters will repeat things like "security theater" while pretending that in order for TSA to be successful in its mission of making aviation a relatively harder target it has to stop 100% of potentially dangerous items at checkpoints. Have I come to the right place?

In other news: once you get over your bad self and back-of-the-envelope assumptions and realize that the goal of TSA is not to "catch terrorists" but rather simply to make aviation a harder target such that terrorists will move along to other targets, you'll realize that for all its flaws, IF you accept the premise, then its a reasonably successful program despite the mouth-breathing morons who staff it.
 
2012-03-05 05:16:39 AM  

Bomb Head Mohammed: the goal of TSA is ... simply to make aviation a harder target such that terrorists will move along to other targets, you'll realize that for all its flaws, IF you accept the premise, then its a reasonably successful program despiteBECAUSE of the mouth-breathing morons who staff it.

 
2012-03-05 05:30:53 AM  

Mock26: Why all the TSA hatred? Since the TSA was created not a single terrorist has made it past the TSA! Seems to me that the TSA is doing a great job on keeping America safe! Keep strip searching little children and triple-scanning cute women, guys. You are doing a great job.

:-D


I'm going to start smacking you across the face with a Gila monster.
 
2012-03-05 05:36:39 AM  

Bomb Head Mohammed: Hi! I was looking for a thread where smug-yet-outraged hipsters will repeat things like "security theater" while pretending that in order for TSA to be successful in its mission of making aviation a relatively harder target it has to stop 100% of potentially dangerous items at checkpoints. Have I come to the right place?

In other news: once you get over your bad self and back-of-the-envelope assumptions and realize that the goal of TSA is not to "catch terrorists" but rather simply to make aviation a harder target such that terrorists will move along to other targets, you'll realize that for all its flaws, IF you accept the premise, then its a reasonably successful program despite the mouth-breathing morons who staff it.


I've got a bridge you might be interested in buying.
 
2012-03-05 05:37:13 AM  
i906.photobucket.com
Did someone say DAGGER?!?!?!?!
 
HBK
2012-03-05 05:48:55 AM  

RamboFrog: Your wonderful government unions at 'work.'


I liked the part of the article where it said they gave themselves a 2 hour break for messing up.

Yay efficiency!

Also, I've posted this before. If you google TSA job requirements, they require a GED or something like 2-3 years in security. These people don't even graduate high school, but we're giving them complex radioactive machines and responsibility? I wouldn't let a high school dropout watch my dog.
 
2012-03-05 05:57:50 AM  
28.media.tumblr.com

Stand and deliver!
 
2012-03-05 05:58:55 AM  

HBK: I wouldn't let a high school dropout watch my dog.


Yes, because a diploma from a public school means so much these days. I'd say someone who dropped out and got their GED is smarter than someone who went through the entire program.
 
2012-03-05 06:07:58 AM  
Day_Old_Dutchie: I've got a bridge you might be interested in buying.

if you had one shot only at an act that would make you either a martyr for allah, balls deep into 72 virgins and hero to ragamuffins the neomedeival world over knowing that failure would see you be a humiliated nobody sitting in a supermax to the point where you start to look forward to the days that the balding nuestra familia guy gives you ad hoc prostate exams, would you take that shot on getting past TSA today? Even if your chances of success are 80%, I think a more guaranteed path to martyrdom, and there are many, would be desirable.
 
2012-03-05 06:09:09 AM  

Bomb Head Mohammed: if you had one shot only at an act that would make you either a martyr for allah, balls deep into 72 virgins and hero to ragamuffins the neomedeival world over knowing that failure would see you be a humiliated nobody sitting in a supermax to the point where you start to look forward to the days that the balding nuestra familia guy gives you ad hoc prostate exams, would you take that shot on getting past TSA today?


No, I'd detonate myself in the middle of the TSA security lines, where there were a ton of people and they couldn't easily escape.
 
2012-03-05 06:13:52 AM  

Bomb Head Mohammed: Day_Old_Dutchie: I've got a bridge you might be interested in buying.

if you had one shot only at an act that would make you either a martyr for allah, balls deep into 72 virgins and hero to ragamuffins the neomedeival world over knowing that failure would see you be a humiliated nobody sitting in a supermax to the point where you start to look forward to the days that the balding nuestra familia guy gives you ad hoc prostate exams, would you take that shot on getting past TSA today? Even if your chances of success are 80%, I think a more guaranteed path to martyrdom, and there are many, would be desirable.


Anyone who tries to take over a plane nowadays is going to get dogpiled by the passengers while they futilely try to get into the sealed cockpit. If they brought explosives, they'd be better off detonating them in the crowded terminals, before they even reach the inspection stations. It's not like the TSA could stop them anyways, they've failed nearly every test and constantly let "dangerous" items through while cracking down on lactating women and paraplegics.

Also, that paragraph is an absolute mess. I've read it ten times and it only gets more twisted each time.
 
2012-03-05 06:14:34 AM  
I flew London Heathrow to Boston a couple of years ago. The security screeners in the UK found a Leatherman multitool (including 2x locking blades, saw, screwdrivers) in my hand-luggage. They let me carry it on board with me.

There was a woman going through security at the same time as me - they confiscated a yoghurt from her.

?
 
2012-03-05 06:22:24 AM  
untaken_name: No, I'd detonate myself in the middle of the TSA security lines, where there were a ton of people and they couldn't easily escape.

because that's the only place where there are large crowds of people? If your goal is to kill lots of people and to inspire, you can do a lot better than this. I dont particularly want to go into greater detail than this, but, well, again, if you were in the shoes of your standard profile islamic terrorist, I think you could choose, umm, "more wisely."

again, if you accept that the role of TSA is to make aviation particularly a harder target, then, well, it does its job. I have no comment on the wisdom or appropriateness of this goal.
 
2012-03-05 06:33:54 AM  
Those assholes confiscated my 70-year-old mother's knitting needles. Seriously?
 
2012-03-05 06:36:59 AM  

Bomb Head Mohammed: because that's the only place where there are large crowds of people? If your goal is to kill lots of people and to inspire, you can do a lot better than this. I dont particularly want to go into greater detail than this, but, well, again, if you were in the shoes of your standard profile islamic terrorist, I think you could choose, umm, "more wisely."

again, if you accept that the role of TSA is to make aviation particularly a harder target, then, well, it does its job. I have no comment on the wisdom or appropriateness of this goal.


Why is detonating a bomb and killing 200 people on a plane somehow a better goal than detonating a bomb and killing at least that many in a security queue? Isn't the goal to inspire terror? Wouldn't terror of even going to the airport at all be better than terror of getting on a particular airline's plane? How, exactly, could a terrorist "do better" than that? The goal is to find a large group of tightly-packed people.

t0.gstatic.com

www.elliott.org

thelintscreen.com

www.magellanjets.com

You're talking out of your ass.
 
2012-03-05 06:49:33 AM  
untaken_name: Why is detonating a bomb and killing 200 people on a plane somehow a better goal than detonating a bomb and killing at least that many in a security queue? Isn't the goal to inspire terror? Wouldn't terror of even going to the airport at all be better than terror of getting on a particular airline's plane? How, exactly, could a terrorist "do better" than that? The goal is to find a large group of tightly-packed people.

was the goal of 9/11 to kill as many people as possible? hint: no.
would a plan like you describe lead to a few inconvenient but instantly realizable redesigns: hint: yes.
would a plan like you describe fail to gain much sympathy due to it simply being mass murder without much symbolic meaning, which is why, say, the 7/7 hijackers are widely seen as ass-clowns while the 9/11 guys are lauded in certain circles? hint: yes.

does your lack of ability to think the whole issue through because of your george-bushian inability to see the evildoers here as some sort of comic book terrorists make you a moran? hint: yes.

this is getting boring, and could easily devolve into a pointless argument with you. i think most readers have understood my point. toodleoo.
 
2012-03-05 07:04:25 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: The TSA has regulations it must follow. So you can't just have TSA officers running off and making phone calls. That might be above their pay grade.


Everything other than breathing is above their pay grade.
 
2012-03-05 07:06:26 AM  

Bomb Head Mohammed: this is getting boring


You're right about that. Hint: you are seriously lacking in cognitive skills and reasoning ability. I think most readers have understood that the only point you have is under your hat. Good day, sir.
 
2012-03-05 07:09:59 AM  

Bomb Head Mohammed: Hi! I was looking for a thread where smug-yet-outraged hipsters will repeat things like "security theater" while pretending that in order for TSA to be successful in its mission of making aviation a relatively harder target it has to stop 100% of potentially dangerous items at checkpoints. Have I come to the right place?

In other news: once you get over your bad self and back-of-the-envelope assumptions and realize that the goal of TSA is not to "catch terrorists" but rather simply to make aviation a harder target such that terrorists will move along to other targets, you'll realize that for all its flaws, IF you accept the premise, then its a reasonably successful program despite the mouth-breathing morons who staff it.


Bomb Head Mohammed

10/10

500motivators.com
 
2012-03-05 07:10:29 AM  

Pert: I flew London Heathrow to Boston a couple of years ago. The security screeners in the UK found a Leatherman multitool (including 2x locking blades, saw, screwdrivers) in my hand-luggage. They let me carry it on board with me.

There was a woman going through security at the same time as me - they confiscated a yoghurt from her.

?


Because it had an inappropriate "h" in the name. Damn king's English.

/I spell it that way, too
 
2012-03-05 07:12:40 AM  

ChubbyTiger: Pert: I flew London Heathrow to Boston a couple of years ago. The security screeners in the UK found a Leatherman multitool (including 2x locking blades, saw, screwdrivers) in my hand-luggage. They let me carry it on board with me.

There was a woman going through security at the same time as me - they confiscated a yoghurt from her.

?

Because it had an inappropriate "h" in the name. Damn king's English.

/I spell it that way, too


I spell it
eclecticrecipes.com
 
2012-03-05 07:27:00 AM  
www.imfdb.org

approves
 
2012-03-05 07:49:55 AM  

untaken_name: Bomb Head Mohammed: because that's the only place where there are large crowds of people? If your goal is to kill lots of people and to inspire, you can do a lot better than this. I dont particularly want to go into greater detail than this, but, well, again, if you were in the shoes of your standard profile islamic terrorist, I think you could choose, umm, "more wisely."

again, if you accept that the role of TSA is to make aviation particularly a harder target, then, well, it does its job. I have no comment on the wisdom or appropriateness of this goal.

Why is detonating a bomb and killing 200 people on a plane somehow a better goal than detonating a bomb and killing at least that many in a security queue? Isn't the goal to inspire terror? Wouldn't terror of even going to the airport at all be better than terror of getting on a particular airline's plane? How, exactly, could a terrorist "do better" than that? The goal is to find a large group of tightly-packed people.

[t0.gstatic.com image 273x184]

[www.elliott.org image 500x375]

[thelintscreen.com image 500x375]

[www.magellanjets.com image 454x339]

You're talking out of your ass.


Because you wont get two hundred with a small bomb. You'd get maybe twenty or so with what you could normally conceal. Then there there are the rescue services at hand that would save many of the injured.
Fact is that falling from the sky is what kills the other hundred and fifty unfortunate souls. Not the weapon itself.

Then the is the potential for greater damage. All that falling aluminum could wipe out buildings on the ground. In the case of 9/11 they had forgone the whole idea of individual bombs to use the vehicle itself as a missile. Compounding the casualties and the headlines a hundred fold for what they could have done attacking the TSA.

Fact is that most terrorists ARE stupid. They don't have the talent to make reliable bombs or pull off successful attacks easily, especially not on the ground when surrounded by armed guards and good Samaritans.
Suicide bombing works overseas because they have specialists who make the weapons and then drive some poor fool to carry them with threats to family members or promises of money.

Its not to say they wont try the same here. Just that with our policing resources and an average Americans built in sense of nationalism, its alot more difficult than doing it overseas.
The bad guys end up looking like dorks more often than not.

/TSA is just window dressing so the government can say its done something new.
 
2012-03-05 08:11:07 AM  
I'm not exactly well versed in the proper procedures for an "omg, let's make everybody's flight late for no good reason" scenario... Is calling the local police critical to the process, or more of an inter-agency courtesy thing? Seems like TSA would be the ones directly responsible for that sort of thing.
 
2012-03-05 08:12:19 AM  

Bomb Head Mohammed: if you had one shot


t1.gstatic.com
had one shot

/lose yourself
 
2012-03-05 08:16:45 AM  

Chinchillazilla: I made it out of America with an entire screwdriver kit in my carry-on a couple years ago. I had borrowed the backpack from my dad for the trip and it had about a billion pockets. The screwdrivers were in a pocket inside another pocket. Had no idea until they stopped me on the way out of Heathrow on the way home. Great job, TSA!


Tools are allowed, they have to be 7 " or longer to be prohibited.
 
2012-03-05 08:27:55 AM  

Bomb Head Mohammed: Hi! I was looking for a thread where smug-yet-outraged hipsters will repeat things like "security theater" while pretending that in order for TSA to be successful in its mission of making aviation a relatively harder target it has to stop 100% of potentially dangerous items at checkpoints. Have I come to the right place?

In other news: once you get over your bad self and back-of-the-envelope assumptions and realize that the goal of TSA is not to "catch terrorists" but rather simply to make aviation a harder target such that terrorists will move along to other targets, you'll realize that for all its flaws, IF you accept the premise, then its a reasonably successful program despite the mouth-breathing morons who staff it.


No.
 
x23
2012-03-05 08:30:02 AM  

serial_crusher: I'm not exactly well versed in the proper procedures for an "omg, let's make everybody's flight late for no good reason" scenario... Is calling the local police critical to the process, or more of an inter-agency courtesy thing? Seems like TSA would be the ones directly responsible for that sort of thing.



IIRC the TSA aren't a law enforcement agency and as such can't arrest anyone. but they can call the cops and they can levy a fine (fine probably isn't the right word) similar to mall cop towards a shoplifter. that is about it.
 
2012-03-05 08:36:27 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Chinchillazilla: I made it out of America with an entire screwdriver kit in my carry-on a couple years ago. I had borrowed the backpack from my dad for the trip and it had about a billion pockets. The screwdrivers were in a pocket inside another pocket. Had no idea until they stopped me on the way out of Heathrow on the way home. Great job, TSA!

Clearly, you weren't a threat. TSA has a perfect record at catching and stopping terrorists passing through the TSA checkpoints.


fayinc.files.wordpress.com


untaken_name: Bomb Head Mohammed: if you had one shot only at an act that would make you either a martyr for allah, balls deep into 72 virgins and hero to ragamuffins the neomedeival world over knowing that failure would see you be a humiliated nobody sitting in a supermax to the point where you start to look forward to the days that the balding nuestra familia guy gives you ad hoc prostate exams, would you take that shot on getting past TSA today?

No, I'd detonate myself in the middle of the TSA security lines, where there were a ton of people and they couldn't easily escape.


Thanks, now this thread is being monitored by the NSA.
 
2012-03-05 08:36:52 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Who's responsibility is it to call the cops? Is it the guy who finds the problem? The guy he reports it to? The guy who made the mistake? The woman who brought the knife? The guys in the back room looking at her naked pics?

You think it's all cut and dried, but there's a lot of questions that really aren't easy to answer here. The TSA has regulations it must follow. So you can't just have TSA officers running off and making phone calls. That might be above their pay grade. They need to consult with the person who is responsible for understanding the regulations. Is that person their manager? The police officer nearby? The woman who brought the knife? The guys in the back room looking at her naked pics?


Welcome to my favorites.
 
2012-03-05 08:45:10 AM  

Bomb Head Mohammed: this is getting boring, and could easily devolve into a pointless argument with you. i think most readers have understood my point. toodleoo.


I guess you've left because you no longer wish to defend your point, but it's really indefensible because of the history of terrorism since 9/11. Your argument may well hold water if one was trying to *create* the TSA in the first place, but if your premise was correct in the final analysis, we would see terrorists hitting other easier targets within the US. And there are many.

But that hasn't happened, which makes your logic in their job analysis faulty.
 
2012-03-05 08:45:18 AM  

digitalpirate: Kilo Echo Gulf: Who would she use an antique dagger to protect herself from... the brigands on the high road?

I usually pay them off with a few dobloons and a fat goose from my goodly wife.


Why is your goodly wife goosing fat people?
 
2012-03-05 08:51:29 AM  
I don't mind emptying out bottles of water, I just want them to ensure that on the other side of security is a water fountain at which I can refill it.

/flying is dehydrating.
/ I don't wanna pay no $250 for water
 
2012-03-05 08:51:30 AM  

way south: Because you wont get two hundred with a small bomb. You'd get maybe twenty or so with what you could normally conceal. Then there there are the rescue services at hand that would save many of the injured.
Fact is that falling from the sky is what kills the other hundred and fifty unfortunate souls. Not the weapon itself.


I can't believe that you've lived through the last twelve years and not realized that it's not the number of casualties that inspires terror.
 
2012-03-05 08:55:45 AM  

Chinchillazilla: I made it out of America with an entire screwdriver kit in my carry-on a couple years ago. I had borrowed the backpack from my dad for the trip and it had about a billion pockets. The screwdrivers were in a pocket inside another pocket. Had no idea until they stopped me on the way out of Heathrow on the way home. Great job, TSA!


I brought a set of darts with me on holiday to Europe.

They were disassembled, in a pouch, in a pouch with lots of other metal (read: electronic) gear. You know where they noticed them ? Not in the US departing, or Paris arriving, or London arriving, or Manchester departing ...

Ireland, on my changeover on the way back.

The poor Irish Gardai, totally aware of the absurdity of the situation said that there was some "controversy" about these things. When I asked him if he'd be satisfied to take only my points (the metal stabby-tip things) he assented.

still have to get those replaced.
 
2012-03-05 09:04:56 AM  
I think all this public TSA incompetence is just an act meant to lure terrorists back onto airplanes so Wesley Snipes can catch them in the act.
 
2012-03-05 09:19:41 AM  
I accidentally flew with a 3 inch fold-out knife last year. I forgot it was in my laptop bag. The TSA didn't notice it.

But really, who cares? I suppose I can see screening for bombs or guns, but there is no way you're going to hijack a plane with a knife post 9/11. In fact, there is no way you're going to hijack a plane, period. Not only is the cockpit door hardened, but the passengers will try to kill you. It's not like the old days where people were instructed to avoid confrontation.
 
2012-03-05 09:36:32 AM  

rubi_con_man: I don't mind emptying out bottles of water, I just want them to ensure that on the other side of security is a water fountain at which I can refill it.

/flying is dehydrating.
/ I don't wanna pay no $250 for water


I think the airlines will give you water, no charge.

I have never bought a bottle of water.
 
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