happy birthday little girl! My favorite gift my eleventh was smash brothers for N64 and I still play it today. Hopefully your parents get you something just as lasting!

How about a poo-cake?

Old Huntstein: Little girl gets this for her birthday?

You know what I got for my birthday? Oh, it was a banner farking year at the Old Huntstein family. I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said, "Hey, smoke up Old." Alright? So go home and cry to your Daddy. Don't cry here, okay?

Happy Birthday Kiddo!!!!!

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the girl who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And then things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't.
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles cross weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or the waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for the wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything in the world.
Ready because you're that kind of a girl!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be as famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't
Because, sometimes they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul.
On you will go
though your enemies prowl.
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike,
And I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never foget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
You're off the Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

Thank you everybody this was way better than I could have hoped for. You are the best folks ever

Happy Birthday!

happy birthday.

world's most useless gift ever.
--->
/sfw

Whoa! 11! Happy Birthday!
My son is 6 and my daughter is 4. I hope when they are 11 they have a father who loves them enough as yours to do something campy but cool like this :)

happy birthday young lady!

godofatheist: Thank you everybody this was way better than I could have hoped for. You are the best folks ever

Glad we could satisfy your very low standards.

Happy Birthday, random Farker's 11-year-old daughter! I hope your day was fabulous, and your daddy bought you as many shiny, sparkly pieces of shiat he could afford. It all goes downhill after this though. Puberty, boys, acne, other teenage girls.....then you become an adult. These are the best days of your life, kid.

/wish I was 11 again sometimes
//11 was pretty cool
///don't wanna be 30 in June

Happy Birthday, kiddo!

Subby's ignore list will grow three sizes today, methinks

Thank you again

PsiChi: Why in the world would you connect your 11-year-old daughter in any way, shape, or form to Fark? That is an excellent example of extremely questionable parental judgment.

/Please let this be a troll/joke. If it's not, seek help. Now. And don't show these posts to your poor daughter!


Oh settle down. It's not like anyone asked if she got some pretty new underwear for her birthday or if she's had her first period yet.

HBDAY!

/here's a hot one for you

Happy birthday kid! I have an 11 year-old son who will be looking for some action in a few short years. What's your phone number and address?

I believe she was born year of the snake, so here's this.

ariseatex: godofatheist: Thank you everybody this was way better than I could have hoped for. You are the best folks ever

Glad we could satisfy your very low standards.

yes. yes you did.

ecmoRandomNumbers: I foresee heavy editing in Subby's near future.

yes

Wharr birf certificate, wharr?

Basemetal Thank you

Hey, this is 40 year old you from the future. A couple things. Don't eat the brownies. You'll be surprised how often dad is right. Let him eat the brownies. He understands better.

Happy birthday! And just remember, in 20 years the mean girls will be fat and divorced, and stuck in dead-end jobs. Study hard, because beauty will only get you so far in life, but beauty and brains is a winning combo.

/what I would say to my 11-year old self.

If you're going to print the thread to give it to her to read for her birthday... i suggest waiting exactly 7 more years unless you want her having nightmares and scarred forever.

HaywoodJablonski: COCK BALLS COCK BALLS COCK BALLS

/happy birthday, kid
//you were adopted

Wish I could remember being 11. I'm sure you will.

godofatheist: [img337.imageshack.us image 507x632]
Thank you again

Oh thank god! Mom's genes are dominant!

Happy birthday 11 year old protohuman!

she loved the ponty gif, and all the cake pictures, and good to know I will be destroying a printer cart or two printing this out.

Old Huntstein: Little girl gets this for her birthday?

You know what I got for my birthday? Oh, it was a banner farking year at the Old Huntstein family. I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said, "Hey, smoke up Old." Alright? So go home and cry to your Daddy. Don't cry here, okay?

I don't really understand why he was so upset about that. If he was my kid, that's what I'd give Bender for his birthday, too.

wowzer97pooh: [i.chzbgr.com image 500x500]

she is laughing at this picture.

She's 11 today. Happy birthday, little girl

/ start shopping for a shotgun tomorrow
// father of a 13 y.o. girl

godofatheist: wowzer97pooh: [i.chzbgr.com image 500x500]

she is laughing at this picture.

You two made my day.

bunner: H A P P Y

B I R T H D A Y



Have a pony. : )

[www.hedweb.com image 640x472]

likes the pony too

calbert: godofatheist: Thank you everybody this was way better than I could have hoped for. You are the best folks ever

enjoy your first and only green. as per your wish, Drew's going to block you from getting a green from here on out.

fine with me

she is having a blast

Happy Birthday from Washington DC