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(io9)   What if Disney made Game of Thrones?   (io9.com) divider line 78
    More: Amusing, Disney, George R. R. Martin, House of Mouse  
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9799 clicks; posted to Geek » on 04 Mar 2012 at 2:18 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-04 12:29:27 PM
No one would watch it, just like how no one is going to click on that link.
 
2012-03-04 12:52:55 PM
SPOILER ALERT!!!!


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The little dragons at the end of Season 1 would be spunky cute impish characters with all sorts of toy/product potential.
 
2012-03-04 01:03:05 PM

BumpInTheNight: No one would watch it, just like how no one is going to click on that link.


I watched it ...

/21 clicks
 
2012-03-04 01:25:58 PM

HawgWild: BumpInTheNight: No one would watch it, just like how no one is going to click on that link.

I watched it ...

/21 clicks


26 now..
 
2012-03-04 02:01:23 PM

Pawn takes the King: HawgWild: BumpInTheNight: No one would watch it, just like how no one is going to click on that link.

I watched it ...

/21 clicks

26 now..


39 clicks ah ah ah
 
2012-03-04 02:25:07 PM
No.

Just, no.

/Kristen Chenoweth as Daeneyrs?
 
2012-03-04 02:36:04 PM

OtherLittleGuy: No.

Just, no.

/Kristen Chenoweth as Daeneyrs?


Did you watch the first season? They did an absolutely phenomenal job translating the books to the screen. My only real concern at this point is that GRRM will either die before finishing the series, or he'll keep taking 5+ years per book, resulting in the HBO series catching up with him before finishes.
 
2012-03-04 02:44:59 PM

Earguy: SPOILER ALERT!!!!

The little dragons at the end of Season 1 would be spunky cute impish characters with all sorts of toy/product potential.


And so would the direwolves. They'd break into musical numbers with their respective Stark kiddies.
 
2012-03-04 02:48:06 PM
getfile4.posterous.com

/now i have an excuse to post this
 
2012-03-04 02:48:23 PM
I want Total War: Game of Thrones.
Build a much heavier diplomacy system for it.
And then go to war.
 
2012-03-04 02:54:52 PM
If Disney were in charge, Tyrion would be a cheerful, cuddly comic character who longs to get hugged by his daddy.
 
2012-03-04 02:56:39 PM

Teufelaffe: OtherLittleGuy: No.

Just, no.

/Kristen Chenoweth as Daeneyrs?

Did you watch the first season? They did an absolutely phenomenal job translating the books to the screen. My only real concern at this point is that GRRM will either die before finishing the series, or he'll keep taking 5+ years per book, resulting in the HBO series catching up with him before finishes.


It's taking that long between books because he got bored with the series and quit writing it.
 
2012-03-04 02:56:48 PM

Teufelaffe: OtherLittleGuy: No.

Just, no.

/Kristen Chenoweth as Daeneyrs?

Did you watch the first season? They did an absolutely phenomenal job translating the books to the screen. My only real concern at this point is that GRRM will either die before finishing the series, or he'll keep taking 5+ years per book, resulting in the HBO series catching up with him before finishes.


That's not so much a concern as something that is almost 100 percent certain to happen
 
2012-03-04 03:00:49 PM
I want to see this only if the levels of nudity, farking, and incest stay the same.
Huey, Dewey, and Louie as house Lannister would be interesting.

I feel like such a biatch for liking this royalty shiat so much. My wife & I have something to watch together now. She likes the GoT cheat sheet and wiki I found.
 
2012-03-04 03:17:07 PM
Hopefully Martin won't pull a Robert Jordan before he finishes the series.
 
2012-03-04 03:19:22 PM

Bunnyhat: I want Total War: Game of Thrones.
Build a much heavier diplomacy system for it.
And then go to war.


We can only hope...

/since there wasn't a total conversion mod when I last looked.
 
2012-03-04 03:20:48 PM

Teufelaffe: They did an absolutely phenomenal job translating the books to the screen. My only real concern at this point is that GRRM will either die before finishing the series, or he'll keep taking 5+ years per book, resulting in the HBO series catching up with him before finishes.


Yes

/wants book six now, dammit.
 
2012-03-04 03:21:02 PM

texdent: Hopefully Martin won't pull a Robert Jordan before he finishes the series.


Hopefully he does, and is replaced by a writer who knows how to wrap it up.
 
2012-03-04 03:22:03 PM

Bunnyhat: I want Total War: Game of Thrones.
Build a much heavier diplomacy system for it.
And then go to war.


A Game of Thrones - Genesis (new window)

It's not Total War, but it is an AGoT RTS.

/Haven't played it, so I can't vouch for it being any good.
 
2012-03-04 03:49:41 PM

Handsome B. Wonderful: texdent: Hopefully Martin won't pull a Robert Jordan before he finishes the series.

Hopefully he does, and is replaced by a writer who knows how to wrap it up.


Jon and Dany get married preserving the dragon bloodline and everyone else dies. The end.
 
2012-03-04 03:56:47 PM

Carth: Handsome B. Wonderful: texdent: Hopefully Martin won't pull a Robert Jordan before he finishes the series.

Hopefully he does, and is replaced by a writer who knows how to wrap it up.

Jon and Dany get married preserving the dragon bloodline and everyone else dies. The end.


Sansa, Tyrion and Arya curb stomp Cersai. Then Dany has Cersai eaten by the dragons. Arya becomes one of her trusted body guards, and Tyrion is her hand. Sansa and Tyrion have an amicable divorce, and Sansa marries Young Griff, providing heirs for the line.
 
2012-03-04 04:03:48 PM
I

El Brujo: Teufelaffe: They did an absolutely phenomenal job translating the books to the screen. My only real concern at this point is that GRRM will either die before finishing the series, or he'll keep taking 5+ years per book, resulting in the HBO series catching up with him before finishes.

Yes

/wants book six now, dammit.


Agrees the book to screen translation has been dead brill so far and also want book six now.

To the point where I now wanna hire someone who's only purpose in life will be to stand beside Martin for the rest of his life poking him with a stick every ten minutes or so and asking "Is it done yet?"

/Only sorta kidding about that last part.
 
2012-03-04 04:03:51 PM

Carth: Handsome B. Wonderful: texdent: Hopefully Martin won't pull a Robert Jordan before he finishes the series.

Hopefully he does, and is replaced by a writer who knows how to wrap it up.

Jon and Dany get married preserving the dragon bloodline and everyone else dies. The end.


Jon??
 
2012-03-04 04:18:29 PM
blogs.evtrib.com

What if Disney made John Carter of ...

Nevermind.
 
2012-03-04 04:46:44 PM

Bunnyhat: I want Total War: Game of Thrones.
Build a much heavier diplomacy system for it.
And then go to war.


Link (new window)

Found this with a quick google search, no idea if it is any good or not. It is based on Medieval 2 TW.
 
Skr
2012-03-04 05:15:58 PM

Teufelaffe: Bunnyhat: I want Total War: Game of Thrones.
Build a much heavier diplomacy system for it.
And then go to war.

A Game of Thrones - Genesis (new window)

It's not Total War, but it is an AGoT RTS.

/Haven't played it, so I can't vouch for it being any good.


It was okayish. A few bugs here and there impacted it negatively. There is a sort of Rock Paper Scissors mechanic for interactions. A lot of the game ends up dealing with more underhanded tactics (assassination, bribery, spying) and less full scale war. If you can get it cheap and also are a fan of both Game of Thrones and RTS it is worth wasting a bit of time on. I remember it being set in the past, thinking 1000-400 years before the first book but I can't recall, it was a while ago and many games in between.
 
2012-03-04 05:41:17 PM

Teufelaffe: OtherLittleGuy: No.

Just, no.

/Kristen Chenoweth as Daeneyrs?

Did you watch the first season? They did an absolutely phenomenal job translating the books to the screen. My only real concern at this point is that GRRM will either die before finishing the series, or he'll keep taking 5+ years per book, resulting in the HBO series catching up with him before finishes.


My "No, just no" was for the headline.

For HBO, it's a HELLS YEAH. And I'm still Fireflying for "Deadwood".

As for GRRM, he's got until 2016 to crank out the next book, or to wrap it up.
 
2012-03-04 05:53:45 PM
Im currently struggling through A Feast for Crows. Dear god, it's boring. Either GRRM got sick of it or he realised how much money he was making and slammed the brakes on the plot advancement so he could spin it out for longer.
 
2012-03-04 06:04:50 PM

OtherLittleGuy: Teufelaffe: OtherLittleGuy: No.

Just, no.

/Kristen Chenoweth as Daeneyrs?

Did you watch the first season? They did an absolutely phenomenal job translating the books to the screen. My only real concern at this point is that GRRM will either die before finishing the series, or he'll keep taking 5+ years per book, resulting in the HBO series catching up with him before finishes.

My "No, just no" was for the headline.

For HBO, it's a HELLS YEAH. And I'm still Fireflying for "Deadwood".

As for GRRM, he's got until 2016 to crank out the next book, or to wrap it up.


I bet HBO splits storm of swords into two seasons to give GRRM time to finish the last two books
 
2012-03-04 06:06:21 PM

Lord Summerisle: Im currently struggling through A Feast for Crows. Dear god, it's boring. Either GRRM got sick of it or he realised how much money he was making and slammed the brakes on the plot advancement so he could spin it out for longer.


AFFC was never intended to be a book its contents (and a dance with dragons) were intended to be told through brief flashbacks.
 
2012-03-04 06:14:19 PM

Lord Summerisle: Im currently struggling through A Feast for Crows. Dear god, it's boring. Either GRRM got sick of it or he realised how much money he was making and slammed the brakes on the plot advancement so he could spin it out for longer.


Same here. A friend told me to just read the Wiki for it and get A Dance with Dragons (which I've heard isn't much better). Maybe HBO can fix it since Martin seriously needs an editor.
 
2012-03-04 06:53:03 PM
The ideas posted in this thread are 1000 times more amusing than that lame video.
 
2012-03-04 07:07:28 PM
It's true AFFC is the slowest book. But soldier on...great series.
 
2012-03-04 08:04:17 PM

Carth: OtherLittleGuy: Teufelaffe: OtherLittleGuy: No.

Just, no.

/Kristen Chenoweth as Daeneyrs?

Did you watch the first season? They did an absolutely phenomenal job translating the books to the screen. My only real concern at this point is that GRRM will either die before finishing the series, or he'll keep taking 5+ years per book, resulting in the HBO series catching up with him before finishes.

My "No, just no" was for the headline.

For HBO, it's a HELLS YEAH. And I'm still Fireflying for "Deadwood".

As for GRRM, he's got until 2016 to crank out the next book, or to wrap it up.

I bet HBO splits storm of swords into two seasons to give GRRM time to finish the last two books


I remember reading something a while ago where they said that they were going to do this. Not for that reason, but because so much shiat happens in that book that it couldn't all possibly fit into one season.
 
2012-03-04 08:07:10 PM

Shenanigans!: The ideas posted in this thread are 1000 times more amusing than that lame video.


Except for "shadow on the wall" the video was basically just random clips.
 
2012-03-04 11:28:11 PM

Carth: Lord Summerisle: Im currently struggling through A Feast for Crows. Dear god, it's boring. Either GRRM got sick of it or he realised how much money he was making and slammed the brakes on the plot advancement so he could spin it out for longer.

AFFC was never intended to be a book its contents (and a dance with dragons) were intended to be told through brief flashbacks.


Allegedly. I doubt that was really the reason. I simply think he got A) Bored with his characters or B) wanted to pull a Robert Jordan and milk this series until he was dead.
 
2012-03-04 11:39:25 PM
Probably less rape...

... although, given Sleeping Beauty and Beauty and the Beast, probably just as much rape.
 
2012-03-05 12:06:57 AM

carnifex2005: Carth: Lord Summerisle: Im currently struggling through A Feast for Crows. Dear god, it's boring. Either GRRM got sick of it or he realised how much money he was making and slammed the brakes on the plot advancement so he could spin it out for longer.

AFFC was never intended to be a book its contents (and a dance with dragons) were intended to be told through brief flashbacks.

Allegedly. I doubt that was really the reason. I simply think he got A) Bored with his characters or B) wanted to pull a Robert Jordan and milk this series until he was dead.


He actually has said he has no idea how to bring the characters back together, and thus no idea how to finish the books... the series was originally supposed to be 3 books, and now it looks like 7?
 
2012-03-05 12:14:08 AM
The Game of Thrones credit sequence in this week's Simpsons was pretty great.

/can't find a youtube of it that hasn't already been taken down
 
2012-03-05 12:20:03 AM

Tax Boy: The Game of Thrones credit sequence in this week's Simpsons was pretty great.

/can't find a youtube of it that hasn't already been taken down


Found one! (new window)
 
2012-03-05 12:42:37 AM

Theaetetus: Probably less rape...

... although, given Sleeping Beauty and Beauty and the Beast, probably just as much rape.


I don't get why so many people seem to think A Game of Thrones is chock-full o' rape. There's what, maybe two or three rape scenes across 5 books?
 
2012-03-05 12:53:38 AM

I created this alt just for this thread: Theaetetus: Probably less rape...

... although, given Sleeping Beauty and Beauty and the Beast, probably just as much rape.

I don't get why so many people seem to think A Game of Thrones is chock-full o' rape. There's what, maybe two or three rape scenes across 5 books?


From here:
So, as of Book 4, the major female characters who have been abused, raped, molested, or threatened with same are: Cersei Lannister, Daenerys Targaryen, Brienne, Arya Stark, and Sansa Stark. That is five out of six, or about 83%. The only major female character to go without a single rape, attempted rape, sexual assault or incident of partner violence? Catelyn Stark. Who, as you may recall, is dead. And a zombie.
... PERCENTAGE OF FEMALE CHILDREN SEXUALLY ASSAULTED or THREATENED WITH SAME: Sansa Stark, Arya Stark, Daenerys Targaryen; 100%. Arya is threatened with rape only once; Daenerys and Sansa are successfully molested by multiple characters.

And in the television series, you have to add in another dozen or so background rapes in the scenery.

But don't take it from me - take it from George Martin (new window):
One of the reasons I wanted to do this with HBO is that I wanted to keep the sex. We had some real problems because Dany is only 13 in the books... there's actual laws about how you can't depict a 13 year old having sex even if you have an 18 year old acting the part - it's illegal in the United Kingdom. So we ended up with a 22 year old portraying an 18 year old, instead of an 18 year old portraying a 13 year old. If we decided to lose the sex we could have kept the original ages... The fact we made all these changes indicates how important we thought sex was.

Mind you, Dany's raped. He had to rewrite the ages because that rape was so crucial.
 
2012-03-05 12:54:33 AM
Sorry, here's the proper link to George Rape-Rape Martin's interview (new window).
 
2012-03-05 01:29:12 AM

Tax Boy: Tax Boy: The Game of Thrones credit sequence in this week's Simpsons was pretty great.

/can't find a youtube of it that hasn't already been taken down

Found one! (new window)


That was probably the first funny thing I've seen The Simpsons do in like 18 years.
 
2012-03-05 05:00:09 AM

Theaetetus: Sorry, here's the proper link to George Rape-Rape Martin's interview (new window).


You said "rape" twice.
 
2012-03-05 05:04:06 AM

scooter1369: Theaetetus: Sorry, here's the proper link to George Rape-Rape Martin's interview (new window).

You said "rape" twice.


There's rape, then there's rape-rape.
 
2012-03-05 05:59:36 AM
images.wikia.com


There. "Game of Thrones", Disney style. And by that I mean better writing.
 
2012-03-05 08:48:37 AM

Theaetetus: I created this alt just for this thread: Theaetetus: Probably less rape...

... although, given Sleeping Beauty and Beauty and the Beast, probably just as much rape.

I don't get why so many people seem to think A Game of Thrones is chock-full o' rape. There's what, maybe two or three rape scenes across 5 books?

From here:
So, as of Book 4, the major female characters who have been abused, raped, molested, or threatened with same are: Cersei Lannister, Daenerys Targaryen, Brienne, Arya Stark, and Sansa Stark. That is five out of six, or about 83%. The only major female character to go without a single rape, attempted rape, sexual assault or incident of partner violence? Catelyn Stark. Who, as you may recall, is dead. And a zombie.
... PERCENTAGE OF FEMALE CHILDREN SEXUALLY ASSAULTED or THREATENED WITH SAME: Sansa Stark, Arya Stark, Daenerys Targaryen; 100%. Arya is threatened with rape only once; Daenerys and Sansa are successfully molested by multiple characters.

And in the television series, you have to add in another dozen or so background rapes in the scenery.

But don't take it from me - take it from George Martin (new window):
One of the reasons I wanted to do this with HBO is that I wanted to keep the sex. We had some real problems because Dany is only 13 in the books... there's actual laws about how you can't depict a 13 year old having sex even if you have an 18 year old acting the part - it's illegal in the United Kingdom. So we ended up with a 22 year old portraying an 18 year old, instead of an 18 year old portraying a 13 year old. If we decided to lose the sex we could have kept the original ages... The fact we made all these changes indicates how important we thought sex was.

Mind you, Dany's raped. He had to rewrite the ages because that rape was so crucial.


ok i havent read book 4 yet and am only about hlaf way thru book 3, but when does anyone threaten cersai with rape? she seems to be donign a lot more killing of enemies than being violated by them as far as i can tell.

and i dont really buy the whole "rr martin is a creepy pedo" argument. everyone is young, yes, but then he's striving for a Sense of how it was back when people were parents at 17 and old at 40... it wasn't that long ago that people in their teens were serving in the military and marrying/starting familes at 16 or so with wives younger than that, and in parts of the world to this day this is still going on.

I think it is important to the characters that theyre thrust into such roles and challenges at the ages they are when they face them, part of what makes dany's character so interesting is how far she grows in terms of becoming heartless and cruel as a queen, but yet still has "teen moments" where her judgement is clouded by youth and inexperience. Same for Robb, too; the guys a brilliant talented war leader but yet his stupidity and mistakes are young man's errors; his lapses in judgement wouldn't be so ... whats the word here... believable... if he were in his late 20s or something. Same with Theon.

Similarly, its also important to have the parents of teenages still be young enough to be active and fight in battles and what not. If this was not a world in which people became parents in their teens, the entire premise of Jamie and Eddard with adulte or nearly adult children yet still being able to fight and wage war and lead armies and what not would be less credible, as would the premise of Cersai still being a hottie. Indeed this is the only beef I have with tywin's character.

In short... haters gonna hate.
 
2012-03-05 09:43:51 AM

Father_Jack: ok i havent read book 4 yet and am only about hlaf way thru book 3, but when does anyone threaten cersai with rape?


If you bothered to follow the link, it discusses when... It's not an "on-screen" rape but a discussion of her rape as a child.

a Sense of how it was back when people were parents at 17 and old at 40...

17 is a huge difference from 13, and while life expectancy at birth in the middle ages was 35, if you lived through the childhood diseases, your life expectancy was in the 60-70 year range.

blahblahblah
In short... haters gonna hate.


Rape apologists gonna apologize. You'll notice I didn't say it was a bad story, and the HBO series is great to watch. But apparently, you hear one criticism of "gosh, raping 13 year olds is pretty awful" and that's an attack on the entire series which you must rush to defend.

Maybe "the story is good, but there's a hell of a lot of underage rape" is too nuanced a position for you. But if that's too complex, then WTF are you reading Game of Thrones in the first place?
 
2012-03-05 10:22:16 AM

Theaetetus: Father_Jack: ok i havent read book 4 yet and am only about hlaf way thru book 3, but when does anyone threaten cersai with rape?

If you bothered to follow the link, it discusses when... It's not an "on-screen" rape but a discussion of her rape as a child.

a Sense of how it was back when people were parents at 17 and old at 40...

17 is a huge difference from 13, and while life expectancy at birth in the middle ages was 35, if you lived through the childhood diseases, your life expectancy was in the 60-70 year range.

blahblahblah
In short... haters gonna hate.

Rape apologists gonna apologize. You'll notice I didn't say it was a bad story, and the HBO series is great to watch. But apparently, you hear one criticism of "gosh, raping 13 year olds is pretty awful" and that's an attack on the entire series which you must rush to defend.

Maybe "the story is good, but there's a hell of a lot of underage rape" is too nuanced a position for you. But if that's too complex, then WTF are you reading Game of Thrones in the first place?


man this is the dumbest thing ive read all day. by not agreeing with your assessment of a fantasy story, i am a... rape apologist. you, sir or madam, can go fark yourself.
 
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