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(The Clicker)   Husband and wife spend $1 million on 5,000 Cabbage Patch Kids. Priceless collection kept in storage along with their valuable Enron stock   (theclicker.today.msnbc.msn.com ) divider line
    More: Asinine, Cabbage Patch Kids, Enron, marriages  
•       •       •

10538 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Mar 2012 at 12:41 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-02 12:20:33 PM  
They could use Beanie Babies as packing material to keep 'em safe. I've got a metric farkton of them if they need some.
 
2012-03-02 12:42:34 PM  
It's not news, it's mental illness
 
2012-03-02 12:44:05 PM  

The Slush: It's not news, it's mental illness

 
2012-03-02 12:44:38 PM  
If that $1 million were spent on actual cabbage, how many starving children would they feed?

Answer: Trick question. They would feed zero children. No child likes the taste of cabbage.
 
2012-03-02 12:44:53 PM  
I blame hipsters.
 
2012-03-02 12:45:19 PM  
Well now I need to move out of the state. TThey have been talking about this on the radio the past few days they live , I think, in Lenardtown
 
2012-03-02 12:45:45 PM  
i104.photobucket.com
 
2012-03-02 12:47:28 PM  
Pogs!! That's where the money is.
 
2012-03-02 12:47:31 PM  
out of all the obsessions they have featured in commercials of late: this one appears to be the least ODD... the toe/finger -nails one freaks me OUT
 
2012-03-02 12:47:39 PM  
So all it would take is one road flare to wipe them out?
 
2012-03-02 12:48:37 PM  
Pat and Joe have even connected with other Cabbage Patch parents for play dates, which pretty much involves a group of grownups standing behind their prized possessions and talking on their behalf.

I would find this incredibly weird and creepy.
 
2012-03-02 12:49:53 PM  
I don't really have a problem with this.

Keeps 'em off the streets.
 
BHK
2012-03-02 12:50:34 PM  
I don't care what people spend their money on. It's their property, and they exchange it in the way that suits them best. However, the infantilization of American society is even more apparent in articles like this than it is in the average Fark thread.
 
2012-03-02 12:53:00 PM  
I'll see your Cabbage Patch collection and raise you:

Link (new window)

and

Link (new window)

(Clicky poppy because while not really NSFW, you wouldn't want people seeing you looking at it while at work.)
 
2012-03-02 12:53:00 PM  
I seem to remember that at the height of the Cabbage Patch kids craze, some enterprising individual set up a "summer camp", for them, where you could ship your doll away for a couple of weeks, and when you got your doll back, there would be pictures of it in a canoe, around the campfire, etc...

I'm curious if the guy made a lot of money on that..

//People are such suckers.....
 
2012-03-02 12:55:35 PM  
Is there a real difference between this and some guy with original sw figures in their original packaging?
 
2012-03-02 12:56:38 PM  
I've seen how this movies ends.

/Usually begins with "direct to video"
 
2012-03-02 12:57:03 PM  
Well they can always take the dolls to Vegas and pawn them.
 
2012-03-02 12:57:12 PM  
Disturbing. An almost but not quite as weird cousin to adult-babies. I can let it pass somewhat for the woman, but that guy needs a massive cock-punch to snap him out of this dementia. I can only hope he looks at that vid some day and asks his friends and family why they didnt intervene and get him help.
 
2012-03-02 12:58:15 PM  
Huh. White people.
 
2012-03-02 12:58:57 PM  

LeroyBourne: Is there a real difference between this and some guy with original sw figures in their original packaging?


Yes, god dammit! Those are action figures, not farking dolls! Sheesh.
 
2012-03-02 01:04:48 PM  
We should praise this behavior and set it as a role model for other consumers to aspire to - $1,000,000 spent on manufactured plastic?!? You sir have helped strengthen the economy!

/Now about these GI Joes I have that you need....
//Only partly sarcastic
 
2012-03-02 01:05:44 PM  
As someone who boats by Xavier Roberts' old house on Lake Lanier regularly, I'm getting a kick...
 
2012-03-02 01:09:53 PM  
What you do is take every doll - every single one - and set them up in a large, furnished room with various everyday items and objects. Set them up like the dolls have just been doing their own thing; working on a computer, sitting around a table talking with their friends, playing a game of Scrabble, reading the New Yorker, whatever. Like you just stepped into some alternate world where 5000 Cabbage Patch dolls happened to be in a room, living their lives.

You take one of those super high-res pictures of this scene, and you post it on the internet. Author Unknown; give no clue to your identify, use a throw-away Flickr account that cannot be tied to anyone. It of course immediately goes viral. Some think it's cute, others think it's silly, but because you've taken such care to stage the photo with details, and taken it in a high resolution, people start really analyzing the picture. Oh look, that one's playing Angry Birds on an iPad. Look at those two discussing The Sound and The Fury. Eventually people will start seeing things that aren't really there. Does that one in the corner have a joint? Is that one getting a hand job from the other one? In the vacuum of any hard information about the photo or it's purpose, people begin to invent their own ideas.

Further and further down the rabbit hole people will go. What do the three dolls in a semi-circle facing the portrait of Dorian Grey represent? Why is the doll who looks like Henry Kissinger holding the book 11/23/63, is this a clue about the JKF assassination? What's the significance of the doll riding the white rocking horse, is that supposed to be Amy Winehouse? People will begin to obsess over this picture, ascribing deeper and darker meanings to it. Photoshopped versions will show up; some obvious fakes, but some skillfully done, adding new levels to the legend/conspiracy theories. Speculation as to the source of the photo will run wild. The CIA made it as a mental experiment on the human mind as a gestalt organism. The Freemasons encoded their entire history into this photo as a secret record for generations to come. The History Channel runs a mini-series, covering the supposed creation and secret history of "The Photo" (sometimes also known as "The Kids"). College courses are dedicated to it's study. Facts pass into urban myth and legend as the years go on, until eventually a religion worshiping The Photo arises, believers ascribing to the theory that it was created by God as a sort of modern Bible. Inevitably, other religious sects with different interpretations of The Photo appear, until eventually all surviving Cabbage Patch dolls are seen as prophets of The Photo, possession of which are warred over by nations.
 
2012-03-02 01:12:30 PM  
Meh, I've just started collecting Garbage Pail Kids again. Brings back a lot of memories.

/First Series cards FTW
/Think they might actually be worth something one day soon
 
2012-03-02 01:13:04 PM  
I've been saving this for a discussion on the most pathetic thing on the internet

Link (new window)
 
2012-03-02 01:13:13 PM  

Sock Ruh Tease: If that $1 million were spent on actual cabbage, how many starving children would they feed?

Answer: Trick question. They would feed zero children. No child likes the taste of cabbage.


I enjoyed that subtext there.
 
2012-03-02 01:13:15 PM  
Husband and wife spend $1 million on 5,000 Cabbage Patch Kids. Priceless collection kept in storage along with their valuable Enron Coleco stock

FTFY
 
2012-03-02 01:14:54 PM  

BlowPopGirl: out of all the obsessions they have featured in commercials of late: this one appears to be the least ODD... the toe/finger -nails one freaks me OUT


My gf says "you know they don't wipe".
 
2012-03-02 01:16:33 PM  

dr.zaeus: As someone who boats by Xavier Roberts' old house on Lake Lanier regularly, I'm getting a kick...


Live in Forsyth and I am just like feh.
 
2012-03-02 01:19:24 PM  
This cannot possibly be real, I refuse to believe it. A MILLION dollars on Cabbage Patch dolls?

TLC has to be staging all of this by now.
 
2012-03-02 01:19:25 PM  

Cup_O_Jo: dr.zaeus: As someone who boats by Xavier Roberts' old house on Lake Lanier regularly, I'm getting a kick...

Live in Forsyth and I am just like feh.


Are you Cumming?
 
2012-03-02 01:20:05 PM  
What kind of mental illness is this ? a form of Obsessive-compulsive disorder ?
 
2012-03-02 01:20:34 PM  
FTFA:
"I love having friends come visit me and play on my toys and stuff that I have," Joe-as-Kevin explained.

...

*backs away slowly*
 
2012-03-02 01:21:15 PM  
Great! Now all they have to do is take the DeLorean back to Christmas 1985, and they'll make a fortune!
 
2012-03-02 01:21:22 PM  
You should see their $2,000,000 Pet Rock Rescue Ranch.

i.imgur.com
 
2012-03-02 01:22:28 PM  
Harmless in my eyes. They're making themselves happy and not hurting me in the least. As long as they're spending their own money and not neglecting someone in the process, I don't care what they're collecting or to what degree they're collecting it.
 
2012-03-02 01:22:28 PM  
I was CERTAIN this was going to be a story about a girl I knew in elementary school. Each year, her family's Christmas card had a picture of the daughter with her ever-growing collection.

I think I got the final one freshman year of high school. By that time, it moved from parental indulgence to creepy obsession. That card went immediately into the circular file.
 
2012-03-02 01:22:49 PM  

NutWrench: Pat and Joe have even connected with other Cabbage Patch parents for play dates, which pretty much involves a group of grownups standing behind their prized possessions and talking on their behalf.

I would find this incredibly weird and creepy.



Yesterday, on the way to school, our daughter announced that she had a secret about her doll to share with us: HER DOLL COULDN'T REALLY TALK, and she (our daughter) had been talking for her (the doll) this entire time!

Of course, we pretended to be completed shocked by this announcement.

\our kid is 4 years old
\\the adults in this article could learn something from her
 
2012-03-02 01:22:50 PM  
This just in: Priceless collection only costs one million dollars.
 
2012-03-02 01:26:34 PM  
I know someone who collects those McDonald's toys from Happy Meals, boxes of them still in the plastic. I've tried to explain to her that something that is mass produced by the millions is never going to be worth anything but she insists they'll be valuable someday.
 
2012-03-02 01:27:13 PM  
You know who else moved into someone's house, and stole their identity?
images4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-03-02 01:27:49 PM  

jayhawk88: What you do is take every doll - every single one - and set them up in a large, furnished room with various everyday items and objects. Set them up like the dolls have just been doing their own thing; working on a computer, sitting around a table talking with their friends, playing a game of Scrabble, reading the New Yorker, whatever. Like you just stepped into some alternate world where 5000 Cabbage Patch dolls happened to be in a room, living their lives.

You take one of those super high-res pictures of this scene, and you post it on the internet. Author Unknown; give no clue to your identify, use a throw-away Flickr account that cannot be tied to anyone. It of course immediately goes viral. Some think it's cute, others think it's silly, but because you've taken such care to stage the photo with details, and taken it in a high resolution, people start really analyzing the picture. Oh look, that one's playing Angry Birds on an iPad. Look at those two discussing The Sound and The Fury. Eventually people will start seeing things that aren't really there. Does that one in the corner have a joint? Is that one getting a hand job from the other one? In the vacuum of any hard information about the photo or it's purpose, people begin to invent their own ideas.

Further and further down the rabbit hole people will go. What do the three dolls in a semi-circle facing the portrait of Dorian Grey represent? Why is the doll who looks like Henry Kissinger holding the book 11/23/63, is this a clue about the JKF assassination? What's the significance of the doll riding the white rocking horse, is that supposed to be Amy Winehouse? People will begin to obsess over this picture, ascribing deeper and darker meanings to it. Photoshopped versions will show up; some obvious fakes, but some skillfully done, adding new levels to the legend/conspiracy theories. Speculation as to the source of the photo will run wild. The CIA made it as a mental experiment on the human mind as a gestalt organism. The Freemasons encoded their entire history into this photo as a secret record for generations to come. The History Channel runs a mini-series, covering the supposed creation and secret history of "The Photo" (sometimes also known as "The Kids"). College courses are dedicated to it's study. Facts pass into urban myth and legend as the years go on, until eventually a religion worshiping The Photo arises, believers ascribing to the theory that it was created by God as a sort of modern Bible. Inevitably, other religious sects with different interpretations of The Photo appear, until eventually all surviving Cabbage Patch dolls are seen as prophets of The Photo, possession of which are warred over by nations.


I just got really.....uncomfortable...
 
2012-03-02 01:27:49 PM  

MythDragon: You know who else moved into someone's house, and stole their identity?
[images4.wikia.nocookie.net image 640x360]


4 days!
 
2012-03-02 01:28:46 PM  
I still remember when these things came out, people actually died over them. They would line up at the stores and then stampede like cattle, climbing over each other grabbing and punching each other, and that's when I learned that humanity was doomed.
 
2012-03-02 01:30:40 PM  
Does anyone want Star Wars CCG cards?

I overbought..


/hangs head in shame
 
2012-03-02 01:33:15 PM  

Skyfrog: I still remember when these things came out, people actually died over them. They would line up at the stores and then stampede like cattle, climbing over each other grabbing and punching each other, and that's when I learned that humanity was doomed.


I remember that news footage too. That always seems, to me at least, to be the start of the "must have toy for xmas" craze
 
2012-03-02 01:33:20 PM  
Back in the day (1983 or 84), buying a cabbage patch kid was serious business. My mom about knocked a biatch down to get mine, I still have the little guy.

One time she got me this fake cabbage patch kid, well, he was used as target practice. About a hundred 22 rounds later his head fell off. Mom never got me fake anything after that.
 
2012-03-02 01:33:32 PM  
How do people this disturbed end up with that kind of free money to begin with?

I mean, I've got the disturbed part, I just don't have the cash on hand.
 
2012-03-02 01:35:48 PM  
That's not how I'd spend a million bucks, but whatever.
 
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