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(NYPost)   Judge sentences man who tainted yogurt with semen to two years in prison after jury refuses to let the jerk off   (nypost.com) divider line 70
    More: Followup, New Mexico, food poisoning, Anthony Garcia, jury, witness tampering, federal felony, semen, prisons  
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5461 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Mar 2012 at 11:37 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



70 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-03-02 11:39:00 AM
Slow clap, subby.


And, who the fark does that? Really? It's like people who piss in coffee pots. WHO DOES THAT?
 
2012-03-02 11:42:25 AM
Thats a crime?????? I call it a workday pick me up.
 
2012-03-02 11:43:16 AM
you got semen in my yogurt!

You got yogurt in my semen!

bostonsbuck.files.wordpress.com
Two great tastes, that taste great together


/Well done, subby
 
2012-03-02 11:43:40 AM
If he'd gone with the Greek yogurt this would have never happened.
 
2012-03-02 11:44:35 AM

Lsherm: Slow clap, subby.


And, who the fark does that? Really? It's like people who piss in coffee pots. WHO DOES THAT?


THIS GUY!!!

cdn2-b.examiner.com
 
2012-03-02 11:44:46 AM
How did they find out there was semen in the yogurt?
 
2012-03-02 11:44:48 AM
There's always NASA Coffee^
 
2012-03-02 11:44:51 AM
Only two years? that dude should be strung up then flayed alive with white hot knives - him *and* that freak who ejaculated into a coworker's water bottle.
 
2012-03-02 11:45:45 AM
Do not consume product if seal has been tampered with.
 
2012-03-02 11:46:45 AM
Nice subby!
 
2012-03-02 11:47:05 AM
Well, some yogurt does come with fruit.
 
2012-03-02 11:47:07 AM
... man who tainted yogurt with semen ...

Come again?
 
2012-03-02 11:48:46 AM

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Do not consume product if seal has been tampered with.


mechanic: Looks like you blew a seal.

blonde: Is there still some on my face?
 
2012-03-02 11:49:03 AM
live and active cultures.....mmmmmmm
 
2012-03-02 11:50:34 AM
So- he thought he could beat it in court-
 
2012-03-02 11:54:42 AM
Holy Fark, Well done subby. Clever girl.
 
2012-03-02 11:56:17 AM
Hopefully he'll get to sample plenty of other's body products while he's in prison.
 
2012-03-02 12:00:47 PM
Few things worse then messing with someone's food or drink.
I expect he'll get plenty of semen in the pokey.
 
2012-03-02 12:02:09 PM
Your honor my client was only adding protein to enhance the yogurt cultures.
And we have to ask these women if they ever tasted seamen, if not, how did they know it was seamen?
Lawyers
 
2012-03-02 12:02:20 PM
Just came in to say good work subby.
 
2012-03-02 12:04:10 PM
I wonder if he saw that cumming?
 
2012-03-02 12:07:29 PM
Really... people like this should just be exiled in lieu of execution. Send them to some island in northeast BC and airdrop supplies periodically. This guy doesn't belong in society ever again.
 
2012-03-02 12:07:52 PM
Burger Shack Employee: Wise choice. You guys might have wanted to stay away from our special sauce tonight. Me and Pookie, we added a secret ingredient. I'll give you a hint. It's semen.

Harold: Semen.

Burger Shack Employee: Animal semen.
 
2012-03-02 12:08:56 PM
This is my city! Wee???

Semenquerque?

Albuqcumque?

Spoogequerque?

I can't come up with a good one.
 
2012-03-02 12:09:04 PM

Ordinary Genius: How did they find out there was semen in the yogurt?


You don't remember this story from a while back. Some woman actually admitted to being able to taste it in the yogurt.
 
2012-03-02 12:10:04 PM
So if my wife would have used this batch of yogurt to cure her yeast infection she could have been impregnated?
Hang him!!!
 
2012-03-02 12:10:30 PM
Just gonna read the ingredient labels very carefully on those 10 flavor self serve frozen yogurt places that are popping up.
 
2012-03-02 12:10:36 PM
My semen looks like yogurt.

What actually wories me are the fruit pieces
 
2012-03-02 12:13:14 PM
headline of the year material
 
2012-03-02 12:14:36 PM
Semen in yogurt? How did anyone find out?
 
2012-03-02 12:19:05 PM
Maybe he can partner up with a cellmate and make some Santorum Yogurt.
 
2012-03-02 12:20:48 PM

dr.zaeus: Ordinary Genius: How did they find out there was semen in the yogurt?

You don't remember this story from a while back. Some woman actually admitted to being able to taste it in the yogurt.


Could you imagine this scene unfolding in the yogurt store?

Woman A: Oh my god there's semen in this yogurt!
Woman B: ..............*awkward silence*.................
Woman C: (slut)
Man D: Giggity
 
2012-03-02 12:26:32 PM
It's all in where you do it. Do it on Folsom St in Frisco, and a line will form.

Some people cook with the stuff. Omelettes and puddings, etc.

NSFW
Link (new window)
 
2012-03-02 12:26:53 PM
I guess now the guy gets to learn all about taint.
 
2012-03-02 12:32:19 PM

Matthew Keene: It's all in where you do it. Do it on Folsom St in Frisco, and a line will form.

Some people cook with the stuff. Omelettes and puddings, etc.

NSFW
Link (new window)


It's a "real" book in that he sold it, but he doesn't seem to know anyone else doing this or really have any details or "insightful" information. I think the author was just trolling and made the book as a joke.
 
2012-03-02 12:36:18 PM

cgraves67: Semen in yogurt? How did anyone find out?


You sound like you know what semen tastes like.
 
2012-03-02 12:36:59 PM
So you can kill someone with your car or bike and you get a slap on the wrist, but put some semen in yogurt and off you go for 2 years? What the.....
 
2012-03-02 12:39:52 PM
32 years old and working at a grocery store.
Dude was just bored.
 
2012-03-02 12:40:43 PM
So did he get off or not?
 
2012-03-02 12:43:09 PM
Gogurt?

Cumgurt.
 
2012-03-02 12:47:58 PM
i.dailymail.co.uk

Frowns on your shenanigans, subby!
 
2012-03-02 12:49:38 PM

Skanque: This is my city! Wee???

Semenquerque?

Albuqcumque?

Spoogequerque?

I can't come up with a good one.


Albujerky?
 
2012-03-02 12:50:28 PM
Well played, smitty.
 
2012-03-02 12:50:42 PM

orava: Skanque: This is my city! Wee???

Semenquerque?

Albuqcumque?

Spoogequerque?

I can't come up with a good one.

Albujerky?


Jerkyquerque?
 
2012-03-02 12:59:23 PM

dr.zaeus: Ordinary Genius: How did they find out there was semen in the yogurt?

You don't remember this story from a while back. Some woman actually admitted to being able to taste it in the yogurt.


Well, clearly none of those women were my wife.
 
2012-03-02 01:02:23 PM
Link (new window)
 
2012-03-02 01:09:23 PM

Ordinary Genius: How did they find out there was semen in the yogurt?



The woman told police that after tasting the sample, she spit on the floor several times and wiped her mouth on the garment she was wearing to get the taste out of her mouth. Investigators collected samples of the woman's spit from the floor and took the garment she was wearing as evidence.

Link (new window)
 
2012-03-02 01:13:52 PM
Paging Tyler Durden
 
2012-03-02 01:31:22 PM
www.whiterose.org
"The semen contains potassium benzoate."

/thats bad.
 
2012-03-02 01:34:55 PM
after 2 years I'm sure he will be tainted with semen...
 
2012-03-02 02:33:08 PM
 
2012-03-02 02:33:47 PM
I wonder if it is illegal to splooge in your wife's yogurt? :D
 
2012-03-02 02:50:58 PM

Mr.BobDobalita: I wonder if it is illegal to splooge in your wife's yogurt? :D


I wonder if it is illegal to yogurt in your wife's splooge?

Things that make you go hmmmm....
 
2012-03-02 03:16:28 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=etbLawm_FBA

Obligatory...
 
2012-03-02 03:18:43 PM
Great headline!
 
2012-03-02 03:24:02 PM
Hey, someone should make a prison rape joke!
 
2012-03-02 03:46:19 PM
I expect Anthony Garcia, 32, won't get a nice job in the prison kitchen.

However, I can imagine the kitchen crew might become quite inventive with the seasonings they provide to Anthony Garcia, 32.
 
2012-03-02 03:53:02 PM

medius: Gogurt?

Cumgurt.


Brogurt!
 
2012-03-02 03:53:02 PM
ok, now someone should make a good one
 
2012-03-02 04:53:51 PM
Subby is a rather cunning linguist.
 
2012-03-02 06:09:58 PM
Reminds me of a Dunkin Doughnuts employee years ago that was MAKIN' the doughnuts in my hometown.
/I never eat or drink their products
 
2012-03-02 06:53:52 PM

laid back w/bud light: Reminds me of a Dunkin Doughnuts employee years ago that was MAKIN' the doughnuts in my hometown.
/I never eat or drink their products


but you do take them internally... amirite?
 
2012-03-02 06:54:34 PM
There were always rumours about the Turks who worked in the Doner Kepab stands around my Army base in Germany were jerking off in the tzatziki sauce.
 
2012-03-02 06:56:34 PM

Ordinary Genius: dr.zaeus: Ordinary Genius: How did they find out there was semen in the yogurt?

You don't remember this story from a while back. Some woman actually admitted to being able to taste it in the yogurt.

Well, clearly none of those women were my wife.


I have news for you...
 
2012-03-02 09:52:46 PM
As revolting as what this guy did is, the sentence is disproportionate to the actual harm caused. People get convicted of manslaughter and have all but 30 days in jail suspended. Making people eat yogurt-tained semen is not 24 times worse than killing a guy.

In most democracies these sentences would be reversed: 2 years for manslaughter and 30 days for semen yogurt mischief. No wonder America is the country with the world's highest percentage of its population incarcerated.
 
GOB
2012-03-02 10:26:44 PM

Nem Wan: As revolting as what this guy did is, the sentence is disproportionate to the actual harm caused. People get convicted of manslaughter and have all but 30 days in jail suspended. Making people eat yogurt-tained semen is not 24 times worse than killing a guy.

In most democracies these sentences would be reversed: 2 years for manslaughter and 30 days for semen yogurt mischief. No wonder America is the country with the world's highest percentage of its population incarcerated.


fark that. I'd be happy if this guy was given the death penalty.
 
2012-03-02 11:26:38 PM
TCBY
 
2012-03-02 11:29:28 PM

laid back w/bud light: Reminds me of a Dunkin Doughnuts employee years ago that was MAKIN' the doughnuts in my hometown.
/I never eat or drink their products


Reminds me of when I was 16 yrs old and working for a temp agency (Man Power). One of the jobs I did was shoveling curds while they cooked in an Indiana dairy factory 40 x 8 foot trough on their way to becoming cottage cheese. Big place, no mask, no uniform, and while on 3rd shift, nobody to see.

While I would never do anything that I was thinking about that others might do, I sure hope they have changed their work procedures since I worked there. I could have done anything I wanted, and no one would have ever known.

/Nice quiet job..... with the added benefit of all the ice cream you want on your way out after the shift.
 
2012-03-03 12:11:52 AM
Did it changed thetaste and who could tell?

+ 1 for headline subby
 
2012-03-03 12:13:05 AM

Bigdogdaddy: Did it changed thetaste change the taste and who could tell?

+ 1 for headline subby


/always proofread
//always
 
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