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(My Fox DC)   New attack ad sponsored by Canines for a Feline Free Tomorrow accuses Hank the Cat of failing to release his birth certificate or addressing allegations he once used catnip   (myfoxdc.com) divider line 54
    More: Amusing, catnip, birth certificates  
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2980 clicks; posted to Politics » on 02 Mar 2012 at 6:19 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-03-02 02:23:36 AM
I heard that that dog belongs to some cult-like kennel that wears "magical" buckets on their heads to keep them from offending God by biting their own asses.
 
2012-03-02 03:45:09 AM

Hector Remarkable: I heard that that dog belongs to some cult-like kennel that wears "magical" buckets on their heads to keep them from offending God by biting their own asses.


Speaking of asses, you don't want to know what one of the other dog's names really means...

/kibble, fecal matter, and lube, man.
 
2012-03-02 06:37:59 AM
thumbs.dreamstime.com

This giant funnel makes it easier for me to eat your sins.
 
2012-03-02 06:41:26 AM
FTFA: "Playing off a recently controversial abortion bill in Virginia, the ad also questions whether or not Hank, as Senator, would force females to undergo an ultrasound before being spade."

Spayed, damn it. No one is turning cats into shovels.
 
2012-03-02 06:45:31 AM
So if he comes clean on the cat nip allegations and provides proof of natural born citizenship is he a viable candidate?
 
2012-03-02 06:52:16 AM

Jisaw: FTFA: "Playing off a recently controversial abortion bill in Virginia, the ad also questions whether or not Hank, as Senator, would force females to undergo an ultrasound before being spade."

Spayed, damn it. No one is turning cats into shovels.


I lost it. Keyboard, monitors...hell, I need my carpet cleaned and my wall repainted you bastard.
 
2012-03-02 06:53:39 AM
People actually paid money for this?
 
2012-03-02 06:55:13 AM
Leave it to Fox to openly promote genocide.
 
2012-03-02 06:57:40 AM

Smoking GNU: People actually paid money for this?


It's some kind of charity drive
 
2012-03-02 07:05:26 AM

AnubisMan: So if he comes clean on the cat nip allegations and provides proof of natural born citizenship is he a viable candidate?


Of course there would still be the oddball complaint that being of the feline race, he isn't a citizen by our founders intent.
 
2012-03-02 07:15:43 AM

Jisaw: FTFA: "Playing off a recently controversial abortion bill in Virginia, the ad also questions whether or not Hank, as Senator, would force females to undergo an ultrasound before being spade."

Spayed, damn it. No one is turning cats into shovels.


It's rare that a comment truly makes me laugh out loud, but this one did. Good job, sir (or ma'am).

/sad that she doesn't live in Virginia - would vote for Hank
 
2012-03-02 07:58:48 AM

Smoking GNU: People actually paid money for this?


The money donated on Hank's website goes to animal rescue groups.

C'mon, man... TFA is like 50 words long.

/ a vote for Hank is a vote for shredded eyelids in your sleep
 
2012-03-02 08:08:21 AM

Splinshints: Smoking GNU: People actually paid money for this?

The money donated on Hank's website goes to animal rescue groups.

C'mon, man... TFA is like 50 words long.

/ a vote for Hank is a vote for shredded eyelids in your sleep


RTFA? On Fark?
What is this i don't even.....
 
2012-03-02 08:17:58 AM
They used to be members of Canines for a Feline Free Today

/splitters
 
2012-03-02 08:29:07 AM
I would vote for Hank over any of the GOP candidates.......running for anything.........anywhere in the country
 
2012-03-02 08:31:00 AM

Jisaw: FTFA: "Playing off a recently controversial abortion bill in Virginia, the ad also questions whether or not Hank, as Senator, would force females to undergo an ultrasound before being spade."

Spayed, damn it. No one is turning cats into shovels.


They're just calling a spayed a spayed.
 
2012-03-02 08:31:14 AM

ModernPrimitive01: I would vote for Hank over any of the GOP candidates.......running for anything.........anywhere in the country



I find myself intrigued by your subvocal oscillations,
A singular development of cat communications
The laws you could enact through public referenda
Would probably be more valid than the republican agenda
 
2012-03-02 08:47:26 AM
Get your hoe spade?
 
2012-03-02 08:50:41 AM
I lost it at "carpetbagger"
 
2012-03-02 08:51:36 AM
If you could turn a cat into a shovel, at least it would be useful.

/sorry, Al & Ash (my cats), but you guys are worthless
 
2012-03-02 09:01:27 AM
We always thought the pyramids were built for the ruling Pharaohs, and the cats just lived there. Maybe it was the other way around?
 
2012-03-02 09:07:17 AM
That was really cute.
 
2012-03-02 09:09:59 AM
I love kitties
 
2012-03-02 09:17:36 AM

Jisaw: Spayed, damn it. No one is turning cats into shovels.


Challenge accepted

//here kitty kitty
 
2012-03-02 09:21:03 AM
I heard he sleeps around.
 
2012-03-02 09:31:14 AM

ModernPrimitive01: I would vote for Hank over any of the GOP candidates.......running for anything.........anywhere in the country


I would have to vote for Serious Cat:

images.cheezburger.com
 
2012-03-02 09:31:40 AM

Craptastic: If you could turn a cat into a shovel, at least it would be useful.

/sorry, Al & Ash (my cats), but you guys are worthless


They bring you enjoyment and, presumably, lower you're blood pressure.

Cats can help reduce health care costs.

www.dilbert.com
 
2012-03-02 09:32:12 AM
I bet he could get more votes than the GOP candidate.
 
2012-03-02 09:47:48 AM
As an independent, he hopes to create jobs in the state.

Yep, that's the ticket I'd expect a candidate of the feline purrsuasion to run on.

/I'd vote for a cat.
 
2012-03-02 10:01:18 AM

zedster: Jisaw: Spayed, damn it. No one is turning cats into shovels.

Challenge accepted

//here kitty kitty


Hey, we all read the story yesterday about the guy who dug a 10 m tall stairway to his house *using nunchucks*. Why not cat-power? Cat-fu, perhaps.
 
2012-03-02 10:09:08 AM
If even a fraction of the actual political ads that we are going to blasted with for 6 months were half this entertaining, election years would make me a little less murder/suicidey.
 
2012-03-02 10:17:31 AM
Dogs only count as 3/5th of a citizen.
 
2012-03-02 10:18:13 AM

mod3072: If even a fraction of the actual political ads that we are going to blasted with for 6 months were half this entertaining, election years would make me a little less murder/suicidey.


Can't find a link, but the "Thank Heaven for Little Girls" ad from the movie Wag the Dog comes pretty close to the gold standard.
 
2012-03-02 10:28:45 AM
I'd take the cat over Santorum. I bet the cat would handle Iran well.

1. Roll over and expose soft underbelly to Dinnerjacket
2. Get Dinnerjacket to pet him
3. Strike with all 5 pointy ends
 
2012-03-02 10:31:53 AM
As satire goes, that was pretty entertaining. But then it occurred to me that the Romney campaign is completely incapable of grasping satire.

So is it satire...or, oh god, no.
 
2012-03-02 10:36:11 AM
mitchieville.com

Promises to have his team look into this birth certificate thing.
 
2012-03-02 10:40:22 AM
Does the cat in question have any experience in the private sector? If I'm going to elect a cat to high office, I want to make sure he's a... business cat.
 
2012-03-02 10:44:21 AM
The president of the United States.....is a CAT?!?!? A cat is president and the whole country is going to the dogs!
 
2012-03-02 11:00:38 AM
Headline made me laugh, thanks subby.
 
2012-03-02 11:18:46 AM

sweetmelissa31: Does the cat in question have any experience in the private sector? If I'm going to elect a cat to high office, I want to make sure he's a... business cat.


That's why I'm behind Banker Cat.

icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-03-02 11:23:04 AM

Mad_Radhu: That's why I'm behind Banker Cat.


I kinda want to clean out Banker Cat's eye boogers.
 
2012-03-02 11:54:29 AM
Canines for a Feline Free Tomorrow Super PAC is just a bunch of biatches
 
2012-03-02 11:56:37 AM
He's just another fatcat politician. They're all the same.

/BSABSVD
 
2012-03-02 12:55:45 PM
It's this kind of dirt politicking that compels me to vote for the Hamster Party.
 
2012-03-02 01:01:07 PM
If he promises that trash collectors will start scooping out litter-boxes, he's got my vote!

/can't someone else do it?
 
2012-03-02 01:01:36 PM

sweetmelissa31: Does the cat in question have any experience in the private sector? If I'm going to elect a cat to high office, I want to make sure he's a... business cat.


Maybe a Lawyer Cat?
media.tumblr.com


/Or even a Doctor Cat? (new window)
 
2012-03-02 01:07:52 PM
...allegations that he once used Cat Nip.

He didn't inhale.
 
2012-03-02 01:08:08 PM
Draft General Bonkers!
 
2012-03-02 01:25:56 PM
I can respect Hank's rugged individualism and bootstrappiness, but there are two words I can think of that start with c and end with t: cat, and communist. I think Hank has to answer for why he called his opponent собака.
 
2012-03-02 02:19:41 PM

Sock Ruh Tease: I can respect Hank's rugged individualism and bootstrappiness, but there are two words I can think of that start with c and end with t: cat, and communist. I think Hank has to answer for why he called his opponent собака.


Man, I was WAY off on the second word.
 
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