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(Daily Mail)   Meet the Larson sisters. They're hot, they hate 'Twilight' and they perform exorcisms. Wait,What?   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 108
    More: Interesting, Reverend Bob Larson, secrets  
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24683 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Feb 2012 at 2:30 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-02-28 11:59:17 PM
Step 1: Pretend to be possessed by demon
Step 2: Have friend bring them in to exercise me.
Step 3: Demon that possesses me causes me to masturbate on them.
Step 4: Problem?
 
2012-02-29 12:37:16 AM
I'd exorcise them.

"The power of Christ compels you to get on deez nuts!"
 
2012-02-29 01:42:43 AM
I'll be in my bunk.
 
2012-02-29 02:34:25 AM
The jizzorcist.
 
2012-02-29 02:38:46 AM
www.brettchukerman.com

The power of Christ compels you!

images.icanhascheezburger.com
24.media.tumblr.com
www.idontwannagrowup.com

i82.photobucket.com
 
2012-02-29 02:38:51 AM
exorcism all seemed like an act to me anyways. its a wonder more women arent doing it.... women are good at faking it.
 
2012-02-29 02:40:19 AM
cbskrth.files.wordpress.com

fastdls.com
 
2012-02-29 02:40:19 AM

Ghastly: Step 1: Pretend to be possessed by demon
Step 2: Have friend bring them in to exercise me.
Step 3: Demon that possesses me causes me to masturbate on them.
Step 4: Problem?


I was thinkning the exact same thing.
 
2012-02-29 02:41:47 AM
The Mandrell Sisters cast demons out of me on a weekly basis.

popblerd.com
 
2012-02-29 02:49:22 AM
the one on the left is hot, the others... meh.

so lets see. 15000 exorcisms, at $500 a pop, =$750,000

plus books, dvds, speaking engagements, plus random donations = MONEY HATS.

/I'm in the wrong business.
//also, TOTAL BULLshiat
 
2012-02-29 02:53:03 AM
I got a few demons that need to be expunged. About 10 cc's worth
 
2012-02-29 02:54:15 AM
Notice how atheists never get possessed or need exorcisms?


....just saying.
 
2012-02-29 02:55:21 AM
When did Anderson Cooper quit reporting and start doing this daytime talk show crap? Did he pull a reverse Geraldo?
 
2012-02-29 02:59:27 AM
Still not hot enough to turn me theist.
 
2012-02-29 03:00:22 AM
How 'bout one of you pretty little ladies go exorcise me up a sammich?
(That's fresh tomato, and a couple little cucumber slices. And hurry. Game's almost on.)
 
2012-02-29 03:01:23 AM
-one of three being decent hardly qualifies as "three hotties".

-ok, they don't like twilight. i don't like sunrise.

-in order to do an exorcism, the devil must exist. these girls do not "perform exorcisms". nor are they "hot"
 
2012-02-29 03:04:18 AM
I bet he "showed them the extraordinary process of liaising with demonic influences"

/my extraordinary process, let me show you it
//penis
 
2012-02-29 03:12:20 AM
I have a sudden urge to exorcise a demon...from my pants.
 
2012-02-29 03:16:07 AM
Tess, 17, says her first exorcism was on a friend of hers. She said that one of the tell-tale signs is eyes that dilate 'You can see evil.'

Oh, THAT'S the clue huh? gee i always thought normal people dilated their eyes to see better in different lighting. Little did i know it was the demons trying to focus...
 
2012-02-29 03:16:40 AM
i.dailymail.co.uk
Penis goes where?
 
2012-02-29 03:19:47 AM
Are you really allowed to wear the priest collar in a professional manner if you have sex with adult women? I thought that outfit was basically a Catholic thing.
 
2012-02-29 03:24:35 AM

skinink: The Mandrell Sisters cast demons out of me on a weekly basis.


www.fhm.com
These sister have made me 'cast out' a few knuckle orphans.

Joanna and Marta Krupa
 
2012-02-29 03:27:52 AM
lh4.googleusercontent.com

quick and dirty
 
2012-02-29 03:28:14 AM
The reverend, who himself has claimed to have exorcised more than 15,000 demons, says he passed down his knowledge to his three teenage daughters and showed them the extraordinary process of liaising with demonic influences and ridding them from a human body.

I believe that some scrutiny might shave that number down. To zero.
 
2012-02-29 03:32:07 AM

Vertdang: the one on the left is hot, the others... meh.

so lets see. 15000 exorcisms, at $500 a pop, =$750,000

plus books, dvds, speaking engagements, plus random donations = MONEY HATS.

/I'm in the wrong business.
//also, TOTAL BULLshiat


The power of Christ commands these dollars to come OUT of you!

OUT, foul dollars! This person REJECTS this evil money! I agree to take this burden unto MYSELF, in THE NAME OF JEEZUS, that this man may be cleansed of his cash!
 
2012-02-29 03:49:55 AM

Mad_Radhu: Are you really allowed to wear the priest collar in a professional manner if you have sex with adult women? I thought that outfit was basically a Catholic thing.


Yup, you can wear it. It's not a Catholic thing, it's more of a 'liturgical church' thing.

Wears one professionally.
/Lutheran Pastor
//Doesn't have to.
///Married 12 years. Two kids.
////Thinks there's some shady operations going on with the family. These folks are NOT representative of...well...any group or person I respect/have beliefs with.
 
2012-02-29 03:55:23 AM
Daddy/Priest-y guy totally needs a caption here.

"Wait... did you just ask if I would fap to them?"
 
2012-02-29 04:25:43 AM
I have a trouser demon for that redhead on the left. She looks a lot like a Las Vegas hooker I know, who is coincidentally also the daughter of a minister.
 
2012-02-29 04:40:06 AM
I just cast out Legion into some tissues instead of pigs...
 
2012-02-29 04:45:37 AM
The left one is pretty hot, but looks way too mature for being 17. She won't age well.
The right one is that Palin daughter that got knocked up.
The middle one is a combination of the left and right one.
 
2012-02-29 04:51:45 AM
profile.ak.fbcdn.net

Meet HANDgelina Jolie
 
2012-02-29 05:26:54 AM
Tess, 17, says her first exorcism was on a friend of hers. She said that one of the tell-tale signs is eyes that dilate

My eyes dilate sometimes! OH MY GOD!

/if you guys could send Jensen Ackles to exorcise me that'd be super
 
2012-02-29 05:45:26 AM
Tess, 17, says her first exorcism was on a friend of hers. She said that one of the tell-tale signs is eyes that dilate

You know what else makes eyes dilate? Strokes and concussions.

Get your friend to the hospital, you stupid biatch.
 
2012-02-29 05:56:10 AM
i.dailymail.co.uk

I hereby rename them "Hot Larson", "Angry Larson" and "Derp"
 
2012-02-29 06:05:51 AM
i would probably take all 3.... at the same time. they may say no but this rag that smells like chloroform always makes them change their mind.

dont you judge me

27.media.tumblr.com

/ hot
 
2012-02-29 06:07:42 AM

Ishkur: Notice how atheists never get possessed or need exorcisms?


....just saying.


of course not. atheists are already bound for hell. satan has no need to go fishing for those who jump in the net.
 
2012-02-29 06:08:33 AM
Sweet zombie Jesus, I wish I didn't have any morals. It's so easy to bilk the religious out of their money.

Look, magic isn't real. Demons aren't real. Possession is either a cry for attention or a sign of mental illness.
 
2012-02-29 06:10:03 AM
I remember listening to Bob Larson's radio show in the early 90's. He was probably the funniest thing on.

/Excorcised demons
//Usually from death metal band members
 
2012-02-29 06:29:03 AM

Dahnkster: knuckle orphans


Ha! That goes in my lexicon.
 
2012-02-29 06:34:45 AM
I'd bang the crazy out of em.
 
2012-02-29 06:40:33 AM
Meh, their chins are too big, like most american `hot` girls. I like my girls to not have chins like a guy. NTTAWWT
 
2012-02-29 06:53:02 AM
God-is-a-Taco
The right one is that Palin daughter that got knocked up


Explains why I sorted her under "first of the three to get pregnant after being 'possessed' "
 
2012-02-29 06:58:22 AM
How much for an oral exorcism?
 
2012-02-29 07:02:19 AM
I remember Bob Larson supposedly exorcising a demon from an Australian Jewish guy, John Safran, for his TV series, "John Safran vs God". Amazing television. John still won't really go into what happened and won't say whether he was faking it for the show - just that he can't explain it and basically doesn't remember most of it. :)
 
2012-02-29 07:02:57 AM
hot + crazy

seriously, how does a 17-yo claim to be qualified to oust demons???
 
2012-02-29 07:28:18 AM
Only one of them is hot.
 
2012-02-29 07:30:14 AM

Just_a_Bear: hot + crazy

seriously, how does a 17-yo claim to be qualified to oust demons???


The same way everyone else does; by lying through their teeth to dimwits gullible enough to believe every word.

/Splat, splat, splat and a veritable tsunami of projectile splooge for teh lulz
//I felt compelled
 
2012-02-29 07:31:45 AM

Just_a_Bear: hot + crazy

seriously, how does a 17-yo claim to be qualified to oust demons???


Exorcism is yet another area in which homeschooled students excel over their publicly educated peers.
 
2012-02-29 07:39:16 AM
I thought that it was HUGELY telling that her 'qualification' for exorcism was "Daddy was there with me the entire way, making sure I could do it." - she didn't even bother to attribute it to a higher power. Dad's running quite the personality scam on his own family... shame. They are quite attractive, and already have the fake sales-pitch voice down and ready to be successful in other fields.

/Figure out how much of THAT was sarcasm, I dare you.
 
2012-02-29 07:40:34 AM

Tat'dGreaser: Only one of them is hot.


...and she just help me excorcise demon seed

/nap time
 
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