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(Mental Floss)   Fifteen beds that will never get you laid. Millennium Falcon FTW   (mentalfloss.com) divider line 188
    More: Cool  
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33506 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Feb 2012 at 11:49 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-02-26 12:30:40 PM

freidog: Cargo: ciderczar: Oooh, that blobby blue thing looks nice. I really, really want a hamburger bed now.

Yeah, the molecular bed. That looks awesome! Where/how could I get one of these? I can only find pictures and descriptions on the google.


Best start saving (new window)


yeolcoatl: Cargo:
Yeah, the molecular bed. That looks awesome! Where/how could I get one of these? I can only find pictures and descriptions on the google.

Here you go. Only costs 8 grand.


target="_blank">ciderczar: Cargo: ciderczar: Oooh, that blobby blue thing looks nice. I really, really want a hamburger bed now.

Yeah, the molecular bed. That looks awesome! Where/how could I get one of these? I can only find pictures and descriptions on the google.

I found it! Link (new window)


Wow.

All three posts are within eight seconds of each other.

Huh.
 
2012-02-26 12:34:42 PM
I'm the fastest! I win! Woooooooo
 
2012-02-26 12:35:04 PM
Why do you need a bed to get laid?
 
2012-02-26 12:36:04 PM
CHEESEBURGER BED! WANT! :D
 
2012-02-26 12:36:06 PM

iron_city_ap: Why do you need a bed to get laid?


Back seat of a car suits me fine.
 
2012-02-26 12:36:43 PM
i377.photobucket.com


Quick. and. Dirty.
 
2012-02-26 12:37:09 PM

Captain Steroid: CHEESEBURGER BED! WANT! :D


Are you sure you don't just want a cheeseburger?

Hint: are you hungry?
 
2012-02-26 12:39:13 PM

ciderczar: Cargo: ciderczar: Oooh, that blobby blue thing looks nice. I really, really want a hamburger bed now.

Yeah, the molecular bed. That looks awesome! Where/how could I get one of these? I can only find pictures and descriptions on the google.

I found it! Link (new window)


"The Feel Deluxe is made of 120 soft and extremely pleasant balls."

Aw, I've only got two.
 
2012-02-26 12:39:54 PM

yeolcoatl: Cargo:
Yeah, the molecular bed. That looks awesome! Where/how could I get one of these? I can only find pictures and descriptions on the google.

Here you go. Only costs 8 grand.


For 8 grand that thing had better blow me every morning.
 
2012-02-26 12:41:50 PM

Grables'Daughter: freidog: Cargo: ciderczar: Oooh, that blobby blue thing looks nice. I really, really want a hamburger bed now.

Yeah, the molecular bed. That looks awesome! Where/how could I get one of these? I can only find pictures and descriptions on the google.


Best start saving (new window)

yeolcoatl: Cargo:
Yeah, the molecular bed. That looks awesome! Where/how could I get one of these? I can only find pictures and descriptions on the google.

Here you go. Only costs 8 grand.

target="_blank">ciderczar: Cargo: ciderczar: Oooh, that blobby blue thing looks nice. I really, really want a hamburger bed now.

Yeah, the molecular bed. That looks awesome! Where/how could I get one of these? I can only find pictures and descriptions on the google.

I found it! Link (new window)

Wow.

All three posts are within eight seconds of each other.

Huh.


Hive mind FTW
 
2012-02-26 12:42:37 PM

jaylectricity: [i377.photobucket.com image 640x479]


Quick. and. Dirty.


Oh, I want one with me in it!!!
 
2012-02-26 12:43:50 PM

beta_plus: She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid. I've made a lot of special modifications myself.

[www.mentalfloss.com image 500x474]


HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAA!!!
 
2012-02-26 12:49:03 PM

thelordofcheese: This -the exception - is pure genius.


chicks dig balls.
 
2012-02-26 12:51:28 PM
ciderczar, freidog, yeolcoatl: Thanks! I'll let you know how comfortable it is since apparently $8000 is too much for any of you proles to spend on a bed. Sorry that you won't be able to experience how amazing it will certainly be.

/lying
//figured it would be expensive
///but Cheezis H fuggin Keericed

And Grables'Daughter, thanks so much for your witty comment. Every time you post in a thread there seems to be a sizable number of people that find you irritating, obnoxious and/or unlikeable. This has always puzzled me.

Now I'm less puzzled
 
2012-02-26 12:52:34 PM

Grables'Daughter: jaylectricity: [i377.photobucket.com image 640x479]


Quick. and. Dirty.

Oh, I want one with me in it!!!


We all want one with you in it. We all do.
 
2012-02-26 12:54:55 PM

jaylectricity: net


Shut up, net face.
 
2012-02-26 12:58:39 PM

Grables'Daughter: jaylectricity: [i377.photobucket.com image 640x479]


Quick. and. Dirty.

Oh, I want one with me in it!!!



i377.photobucket.com

/there ya go
//the wonders of MSPaint
 
2012-02-26 01:00:05 PM

ciderczar: Oooh, that blobby blue thing looks nice. I really, really want a hamburger bed now.


I found the blue amoeba thing online. It's about $8,000. I dispute subby's idea that it won't get you laid, also; it's practically a sex toy as it is. It's made of 120 little balls that can be piled up and positioned in any way you like. Think about that.
 
2012-02-26 01:00:42 PM
Guys, I've got a great idea! Let's take something practical and make it as impractical as possible!
 
2012-02-26 01:01:31 PM
Ok, you could totally get laid in that pink cadillac bed.

/I have a loft bed about 4 feet off the ground, had some action in it last week.
 
2012-02-26 01:01:58 PM
www.mentalfloss.com
Open the cargo bay door!
 
2012-02-26 01:02:01 PM

nekom: jaylectricity: net

Shut up, net face.


OK train brain.
 
2012-02-26 01:04:11 PM

Cargo: And Grables'Daughter, thanks so much for your witty comment. Every time you post in a thread there seems to be a sizable number of people that find you irritating, obnoxious and/or unlikeable. This has always puzzled me.

Now I'm less puzzled


Oddly enough, I find the people who find her irritating, obnoxious and/or unlikeable are usally irritating, obnoxious and unlikeable. Go figure!

/this white knight armor chaffs
 
2012-02-26 01:09:09 PM
List fails without my Starship Stateroom bed...
i39.tinypic.com
 
2012-02-26 01:11:59 PM
Well, a couple of the beds in there are just common beds with different spreads. The one with the chem table? I can probably get that spread in ThinkGeek or something
 
2012-02-26 01:12:04 PM

Dreamless: I dunno. The net bed would have some nice bounce, but I don't really see how you could be naked on it without it digging into your skin.


Yeah I don't think it would work out. A trampoline, however...twice the bounce, and much more comfortable. ;)

/I used to do that with the ex, it was quite fun. Plus sleeping under the stars is fun. Plus bouncy.
 
rwp
2012-02-26 01:16:07 PM
Someone did a CafePress of a periodic table duvet cover:

Duvet! (new window)
 
2012-02-26 01:24:55 PM
Fifteen beds? There's only 14 shown.

mark12A

By far, your's is the coolest.

The only redeeming thing about the shark bed is the bed itself, a kinda cool, rustic-looking thing that would look great in a log cabin. The fat shark itself just simply sucks.

I sleep on a waterbed and have since the 70's. Now that I'm getting a bit older, admittedly, sometimes climbing out of the thing can be interesting. However, the mattress is heated for when winter comes.
 
2012-02-26 01:25:52 PM

Evenbiggerknickers: ...and this bed was just the worst. Soooo uncomfortable. The stuff of nightmares.

[parangaricutirimicuaro.blogspot.com image 640x453]


It looks worse up close.
 
2012-02-26 01:28:27 PM

thelordofcheese: OK, the hammock is kinda nice, but all others except one just aren't enthralling.

This -the exception - is pure genius.
[www.mentalfloss.com image 500x187]


Until you have to clean it - yikes!
 
2012-02-26 01:29:16 PM
media.tumblr.com
I always liked John's bed from Help.
 
2012-02-26 01:29:46 PM
I can only hope the kitchen or dining room doesn't occupy the space under the hammock.
 
2012-02-26 01:30:47 PM

DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: nekom: Evenbiggerknickers: My bed after a massive bender

[www.instablogsimages.com image 550x486]

At least you had a pillow. I slept in an abandoned coke oven once.

Lucky! The coke oven I slept in was still in operation!

also:

Two Guys Desperately Trying To Not Look Gay:
[www.mentalfloss.com image 500x374]


Even gayer, that bed actually hosts a complete surround sound system/sub woofers. WHich is why the walls are thick/it is high off the ground. So basically it is two dudes in a bed, enjoying "magic fingers" from the subwoofers.
 
2012-02-26 01:31:43 PM
Secret trick to getting laid, as a guy: Be rich.
 
2012-02-26 01:34:09 PM

Cargo: ciderczar, freidog, yeolcoatl: Thanks! I'll let you know how comfortable it is since apparently $8000 is too much for any of you proles to spend on a bed. Sorry that you won't be able to experience how amazing it will certainly be.

/lying
//figured it would be expensive
///but Cheezis H fuggin Keericed

And Grables'Daughter, thanks so much for your witty comment. Every time you post in a thread there seems to be a sizable number of people that find you irritating, obnoxious and/or unlikeable. This has always puzzled me.

Now I'm less puzzled


Thank you.

Which comment, please?
 
2012-02-26 01:35:15 PM
For $8,000, I think I'd rather have a dux bed. Otherwise my daughter would find the balls and they'd be scattered all over the house.
 
2012-02-26 01:35:28 PM
Oh since farkers might know such things. Has anyone made a murphy bed that they are happy with? There are tons of designs on the internet, but its hard to tell which will be durable in the long-term. I would like to build one for a guest room so that, when not in use, my son can use it as a playroom.
 
2012-02-26 01:42:04 PM

thelordofcheese: OK, the hammock is kinda nice, but all others except one just aren't enthralling.

This -the exception - is pure genius.

www.mentalfloss.com

/balls.
 
2012-02-26 01:46:51 PM
List needs a taco bed, for any little Mexican girls in your life.
videogum.com
 
2012-02-26 01:47:20 PM
The hammock bed is just a variation on a rope bed, which was pretty much standard for luxury beds until the invention of the modern box spring. However, rope beds are supposed to have a mattress on top, which makes them look pretty normal. (This is a reproduction, but you can see the ropes emerging along the bed rails.)

That said, most of the ones I've seen aren't very good for sex, especially the ones designed for their most common modern use as camp beds. They creak horribly as the ropes rub together, so even if you and your partner are both trying to keep it quiet, you're still going to be heard several hundred feet away.

/wants one anyway.
 
2012-02-26 01:47:44 PM

Scruffinator: Yeah I want one of those. Badly...


How lame is it that the article had no links, just a pile of pictures? Fortunately there is search by image:

http://www.safeshoppingreview.com/molecular-bed/

Yeah, for 8 grand I think I'll pass.
 
2012-02-26 01:47:54 PM

Weaver95: Fizpez: 7 or 8 actual beds and about a half dozen museum projects from some artists attempting to be clever.

yeah but you gotta admit - that cargo net thing is pretty spiffy.


I larfed at the box trap one. It's too much of a one-note joke for even a guest room but it might make a neat feature of a bed and breakfast.
 
2012-02-26 01:50:52 PM
Also, if you're a dude and can't get laid in about half of those beds you must not want it bad enough, or you're bringing home really dull ladies.
 
2012-02-26 01:55:55 PM
www.mentalfloss.com

It's a trap?
 
2012-02-26 02:00:06 PM
leonardharman.com
I kind of like these. They're cozy, low-profile, and I bet you could carve out niches for books. Plus, I could disguise it and my roomies wouldn't be able to find me!
 
2012-02-26 02:00:50 PM

ArkAngel: You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought


"There's an awful lot of moisture in here."
 
2012-02-26 02:04:08 PM
We had a climbing gym in one of the places I worked. I used to sneak off and catch a quick nap on the cargo net. It was pretty fantastic.
 
2012-02-26 02:05:10 PM

Cargo: ciderczar, freidog, yeolcoatl: Thanks! I'll let you know how comfortable it is since apparently $8000 is too much for any of you proles to spend on a bed. Sorry that you won't be able to experience how amazing it will certainly be.

/lying
//figured it would be expensive
///but Cheezis H fuggin Keericed

And Grables'Daughter, thanks so much for your witty comment. Every time you post in a thread there seems to be a sizable number of people that find you irritating, obnoxious and/or unlikeable. This has always puzzled me.

Now I'm less puzzled


The only thing annoying about GD is that I'll never find myself in a giant burger with her along for the ride.


But a man can dream
 
2012-02-26 02:12:41 PM
Giant hammock bed huh? Just don't fall asleep naked and get your junk wrapped up in it somehow such that morning wood hurts you, or yopu slowly lose circulation as you sleep and it falls off.

\blue balls, heh.
 
2012-02-26 02:15:25 PM

DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: All it takes is the right bed?!?

Damm, I thought it was my rugged good looks, suave wit, and massive trouser-snake!

/so many lies


Consider the pick up line, "I made the coolest bed I've ever seen, it's a _____ wanna come see it?"
 
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