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(CNN)   Here's a list of five things not to do on airplanes. Since "stewardesses" aren't on the list, subby presumes they're fair game   (cnn.com) divider line 129
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14182 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Feb 2012 at 9:34 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-02-26 05:43:55 PM
My biggest peeve is the family who is running down the corridor, 5 minutes after the plane has pulled from the gate and berating the agent for not holding the plane for them
 
2012-02-26 06:20:52 PM
cptjeff: LouDobbsAwaaaay: Representative of the unwashed masses: See my Boobies in this thread. All people have to do is lean back slowly and often about half way is a nice compromise. And if you are going to be an ass about that then I will shove it right back. I would enjoy the back massage from your knees.

This is literally all I'm asking for, with maybe a little warning in case I've got a laptop open you're about to shove off the table? Again, the complete lack of consideration people have on airplanes is a mystery to me. You're almost salivating at the opportunity to piss me off.

Grow up.

We're not trying to piss you off. The whole point is that we don't give a shiat about how you feel about it, because, as far as we're concerned, a reclining seat is part and parcel of the whole deal. When I recline, I do it slowly, to give people time to adjust a laptop or whatever, but I'm not going to take care of your needs. I'll take care of mine, you take care of yours. You can recline your seat, buy a nicer seat, or whatever if you have an issue with that arrangement. But your comfort is not my responsibility- it's yours. You figure it out. If you're going to be uncomfortable in coach, you should be figuring that out before you even get on the plane.


My needs are met by repeatedly kicking the back of your seat. Isn't ME ME ME ME fun?
 
2012-02-26 06:21:56 PM
MadAzza: You put your seat back and tray table up to provide passage for other passengers. And yes, the the event of a crash, one or two inches, or the width of a tray table, can make a big difference.

Tray tables I can see. But, at least on the last couple planes I few on, there is almost no difference between seat fully reclined and fully forward. If I was in the window seat, and the seats in the row in front of me were reclined, I could still easily get out. If all three were either all back or all up, I couldn't tell which position they were in. Why they even make them able to move at all is beyond me. Probably the same reason the put fake thermostats in offices. Just makes people feel better, but doesn't do anything...
 
2012-02-26 06:29:30 PM
Trance750: My biggest peeve is the family who is running down the corridor, 5 minutes after the plane has pulled from the gate and berating the agent for not holding the plane for them

Having been in that situation (and getting an international flight held at the gate for a few minutes) it's usually the fault of the airline farking up the first leg of a flight.

Prank Call of Cthulhu: If we accept for a moment the argument, "They designed the seat so that it would recline, therefore if you want to recline it it's your business, and you don't have to give a flying shiat about the comfort of the person behind you," then must one also accept, "They designed the seat so that a fatty can goosh out underneath the armrest, therefore if you want to be fat and ooze over into someone else's seat it's your business, and you don't have to give a flying shiat about the comfort of the person next to you"?

Fatty did not pay for portions of my seat. He cannot put his body there. I did pay for a seat that reclines. You did not pay to have a seat in front of you that does not recline.


HoneyDog: You're not allowed to upgrade your seat with your own funds? You can't buy the seat, then claim reimbursement for the cheaper amount? Talk to your accounting department about that- I would bet they could make it happen.

I am the accounting department, and no, we can't do that. We have to turn in our travel vouchers so they'd know we did it.


And they would care that you used your own funds to upgrade from what the company paid for?

Here's how this goes:

Economy seat is $200. Exit row is $220. You buy the $220 seat and claim reimbursement for $200.

Or: You buy $200 seat. At the gate, you purchase business class upgrade for additional $300.

Or: You buy $200 seat. When checking in, you change seats to an extra legroom seat (exit row or front row). Machine asks for $20. You insert your personal credit card.

If your business won't allow any of those options, then they're being ridiculously unreasonable. Yell at them, not those of us who use features we pay for.
 
2012-02-26 06:38:44 PM
Cyclonic Cooking Action: MadAzza: 0x1a4: The seats barely move anymore. What the hell difference could it possibly make? In comfort for the person in the seat, the person behind, or even if there's a crash. Seriously will moving my seat an inch save me if the plane rejoins the ground in a less than satisfactory manner?

You put your seat back and tray table up to provide passage for other passengers. And yes, the the event of a crash, one or two inches, or the width of a tray table, can make a big difference.

Why, would it prevent you from kissing your own ass goodbye in the event of a crash?


Have you ever tried to do that when the guy in front of you has his seat reclined?
 
2012-02-26 06:51:24 PM
Cast: AverageAmericanGuy:

Don't abuse the recline
Fark you, dipwad. I paid for the seat, including the room it takes up in recline. Your seat reclines too, you know.


I'm 6'3" and I generally fly coach because I'm cheap. Stop reclining your seat or I will murder you in the bathroom after we arrive. I can tolerate alot of things, but bang that seat into my knees and I can seriously think of nothing other than ending your miserable little life.


Then pay the extra money and get a bulkhead seat. We'll both be more comfortable
 
2012-02-26 07:02:07 PM
ka1axy: Cast: AverageAmericanGuy:

Don't abuse the recline
Fark you, dipwad. I paid for the seat, including the room it takes up in recline. Your seat reclines too, you know.


I'm 6'3" and I generally fly coach because I'm cheap. Stop reclining your seat or I will murder you in the bathroom after we arrive. I can tolerate alot of things, but bang that seat into my knees and I can seriously think of nothing other than ending your miserable little life.

Then pay the extra money and get a bulkhead seat. We'll both be more comfortable


It's a good thing they have an endless supply of bulkhead seats.
 
2012-02-26 07:08:16 PM
The real mystery about seat reclining is this:

Fractional increase in joy of the recliner
I don't get reclining. I've tried it, it doesn't make me any more comfortable. Yaaaay, the seat went back like five whole degrees. Whoopity-doo. But have someone recline their seat into you and it's crushed knees, an under-the-seat area that I can no longer access (and paid for), and the inability to use a laptop (something else I paid for).

Oh, and since I'm not an arrogant bag of shiat, the few times I have given reclining a whirl, I ask the person behind me if they'd mind if I'd recline. This is actually the correct way to do it, but since it doesn't allow you to go on a little ME-ME-ME-FIRST-GOTMINEFARKYOU power trip, and might require compromise, it's a foreign concept to a lot of folks in this thread.
 
2012-02-26 07:10:27 PM
cptjeff: Cast: AverageAmericanGuy:

Don't abuse the recline
Fark you, dipwad. I paid for the seat, including the room it takes up in recline. Your seat reclines too, you know.


I'm 6'3" and I generally fly coach because I'm cheap. Stop reclining your seat or I will murder you in the bathroom after we arrive. I can tolerate alot of things, but bang that seat into my knees and I can seriously think of nothing other than ending your miserable little life.

How about this: you know perfectly well what you're getting into when you buy the ticket, reclining included. I'll recline my seat if I damn well feel like it, and you'll deal with it or shell out a little more money for the exit row. Or business class. You know that you're gonna be uncomfortable in the standard coach, but you decided that saving a little bit of money was worth the discomfort. You made your bed, lie in it. Or don't. But if it's a long flight, I'm gonna be sleeping. Deal.


No you would not be sleeping on a long flight if you put your seat all the way back on me. I can be quite annoying. And since I am almost certainly far bigger than you theres not a lot you could do about it. Unless you put your chair to a reasonable postion. Then we would get along just fine again and you could sleep.
 
2012-02-26 08:09:14 PM
Intoxoman: And since I am almost certainly far bigger than you theres not a lot you could do about it. Unless you put your chair to a reasonable postion.

See? All these problems could be avoided if the recliners would just show a little common courtesy and ask first. Maybe compromise on a reasonable position for the seat. Ask me first. Maybe I'm planning on sleeping, so I won't give a fark how much of your head is going to be in my space. Or maybe I'm needing to use a laptop, in which case, I'll be glad to let you go back as far as will still allow me to use it.

But I'll bet the set of dickhole "It's mah right to push mah seat back, ain't nufum you can do 'bout it" folks has an awful lot of overlap with Republicans, people who drive around with their base going BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM, dog owners who let their dog bark all day and shiat all over the place, East Coasters, people who bathe in Axe Body Spray, and guys who go around slapping you on the back while saying, "HOT ENOUGH FOR YUH?"

In other words, self-absorbed assholes who don't care about other people. Yeah, I know you think you paid for your seat and the space behind it, behind the sad fact of life is that you need to consider other people--you don't exist in a vacuum.
 
2012-02-26 08:21:03 PM
andersoncouncil42: Stewardesses don't look like this anymore.

[cdn.screenrant.com image 570x300]


Oh, but I wish they did...
 
2012-02-26 08:23:02 PM
Prank Call of Cthulhu: The real mystery about seat reclining is this:

Fractional increase in joy of the recliner
I don't get reclining. I've tried it, it doesn't make me any more comfortable. Yaaaay, the seat went back like five whole degrees. Whoopity-doo. But have someone recline their seat into you and it's crushed knees, an under-the-seat area that I can no longer access (and paid for), and the inability to use a laptop (something else I paid for).

Oh, and since I'm not an arrogant bag of shiat, the few times I have given reclining a whirl, I ask the person behind me if they'd mind if I'd recline. This is actually the correct way to do it, but since it doesn't allow you to go on a little ME-ME-ME-FIRST-GOTMINEFARKYOU power trip, and might require compromise, it's a foreign concept to a lot of folks in this thread.


I don't get the appeal of reclining, either. It leans me back just far enough to make it really uncomfortable to read, without being far enough back to make it comfortable to sleep.

The bolded part is what several other posters should take away from this subthread. But they won't, because THEY PAID FOR THAT RECLINING SEAT AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT YOU CAN PAY $8,000 FOR FIRST CLASS OR GET ONE OF THE ALREADY-BOOKED BULKHEAD SEATS, LOOOZER!
 
2012-02-26 09:54:45 PM
LouDobbsAwaaaay: Fark you right back, dickcheese. I paid for my seat as well, which includes the room my knees need in order to not stick my feet in the aisle,

You/they paid for a seat of a standard small size which reclines. That's the economy product, take it or leave it. There is no inclusion that it has to fit anything. You just made that part up.

If you don't fit (just like I don't) then you buy a product that does fit your over long/wide/thick/fat/muscled body. The ball is in your court, it is your problem, no-one elses. Own it.

My work also has a "economy only" rule but they send me and the other "don't fits" business class as it would be an OH&S issue otherwise. My director flies economy, whereas my plebian ass flies business. Life is good :-)
 
2012-02-26 10:30:09 PM
cptjeff: LouDobbsAwaaaay: Representative of the unwashed masses: See my Boobies in this thread. All people have to do is lean back slowly and often about half way is a nice compromise. And if you are going to be an ass about that then I will shove it right back. I would enjoy the back massage from your knees.

This is literally all I'm asking for, with maybe a little warning in case I've got a laptop open you're about to shove off the table? Again, the complete lack of consideration people have on airplanes is a mystery to me. You're almost salivating at the opportunity to piss me off.

Grow up.

We're not trying to piss you off. The whole point is that we don't give a shiat about how you feel about it, because, as far as we're concerned, a reclining seat is part and parcel of the whole deal. When I recline, I do it slowly, to give people time to adjust a laptop or whatever, but I'm not going to take care of your needs. I'll take care of mine, you take care of yours. You can recline your seat, buy a nicer seat, or whatever if you have an issue with that arrangement. But your comfort is not my responsibility- it's yours. You figure it out. If you're going to be uncomfortable in coach, you should be figuring that out before you even get on the plane.


I won't be worrying about your comfort as I repeatedly drive my knees into the back of your farking reclined seat. Enjoy the flight.
 
2012-02-26 10:58:06 PM
zzrhardy: LouDobbsAwaaaay: Fark you right back, dickcheese. I paid for my seat as well, which includes the room my knees need in order to not stick my feet in the aisle,

You/they paid for a seat of a standard small size which reclines. That's the economy product, take it or leave it. There is no inclusion that it has to fit anything. You just made that part up.

If you don't fit (just like I don't) then you buy a product that does fit your over long/wide/thick/fat/muscled body. The ball is in your court, it is your problem, no-one elses. Own it.


"Own it"? That's perfect. This type of laughably macho, Man vs. The World, go-get-'em champ comment could only come from an American. Thanks, chickie -- this attitude is part of the reason why we're hated all over the world.

*checks zzrhardy's profile*

Holy crap. I've been to your country many times and thought I had an idea of the general character. Did you emigrate from the U.S.?
 
2012-02-26 11:49:37 PM
Prank Call of Cthulhu: In other words, self-absorbed assholes who don't care about other people. Yeah, I know you think you paid for your seat and the space behind it, behind the sad fact of life is that you need to consider other people--you don't exist in a vacuum.

Funny, all these "But I bought the cheap seat and I expect everybody to accommodate me" posts seem pretty self absorbed to me.

Know what you're getting, and don't expect anyone to inconvenience themselves for you. It's exceedingly uncomfortable to sleep in an upright seat, those few degrees make a big difference for me. I'm sorry, but poor planning on your part does not change that.

I'm not a republican. Not even close. I think that we need stronger institutions, run by a group with a vested interest in keeping people happy rather than having a vested interest in profit. But that doesn't mean I don't expect people to take responsibility for their own decisions. You knew exactly what you were getting into buying that ticket. You knew, with a little planning to buy enough in advance, you could shell out a little more money for the exit row. You chose not to do that. You decided it wasn't worth it to you, so why am I supposed to accommodate you again?
 
2012-02-26 11:59:16 PM
MadAzza: Did you emigrate from the U.S.?

In every country in the western world there is still a small minority of people who believe in "personal responsibility". They are easy to overlook.

I flew economy once and was shocked to find I didn't fit - I thought fatties were the only ones with issue so I was't prepared. I ended up being responsible for not only my own discomfort, but that of the poor buggers either side of me.

I didn't walk away from the experience thinking "fark everyone else I am entitled to a cheap ticket" when clearly I didn't fit. I walked away from it thinking "Don't ever be such a goddamned pain in the arse like that again".
 
2012-02-27 01:29:41 AM
cptjeff: Here's how this goes:

Economy seat is $200. Exit row is $220. You buy the $220 seat and claim reimbursement for $200.


Know how I know you've never tried to get an exit-row seat?

Or: You buy $200 seat. At the gate, you purchase business class upgrade for additional $300.

Where the hell do you live, that you can get any flights for $200? Where I live, economy typically starts at $400 (with the usual 3 week notice) and goes up to $1400. Business class upgrades are in the neighborhood of $500 to $1000 (if they exist on that flight). If you think I'm going to pay that kind of money for you to recline, you can definitely go fark yourself.

Or: You buy $200 seat. When checking in, you change seats to an extra legroom seat (exit row or front row). Machine asks for $20. You insert your personal credit card.

Again, try it, sometime. It's not that easy.

One thing I will say: one of these days, someone is going to recline their seat too quickly on my knees and do some serious damage. When that happens, I can assure you, I will sue them and the airline to the fullest extent possible.
 
2012-02-27 01:53:47 AM
Dadoo: If you think I'm going to pay that kind of money for you to recline, you can definitely go fark yourself.

The recline space of the seat in front of you is not yours, it is part of the seat of the person in front of you. The space your own seat reclines back into belongs to your seat. It is none of your business if others recline into their paid-for space, your only business is whether you utilise your own paid-for recline space or not.

Be a good little boy and keep your territorial pissing behaviour into the confines of your own territory. I used to think that small man syndrome was confined to small men, but obviously not.
 
2012-02-27 02:01:26 AM
zzrhardy: MadAzza: Did you emigrate from the U.S.?

In every country in the western world there is still a small minority of people who believe in "personal responsibility". They are easy to overlook.

I flew economy once and was shocked to find I didn't fit - I thought fatties were the only ones with issue so I was't prepared. I ended up being responsible for not only my own discomfort, but that of the poor buggers either side of me.

I didn't walk away from the experience thinking "fark everyone else I am entitled to a cheap ticket" when clearly I didn't fit. I walked away from it thinking "Don't ever be such a goddamned pain in the arse like that again".


You are indeed a jolly fat man. Thank you.
 
2012-02-27 03:19:53 AM
Novart: You are indeed a jolly fat man. Thank you.

"I am not fat, I am just big boned..."

Still weigh in at 100kg though (new window)
 
2012-02-27 04:21:21 AM
Bastinado: AverageAmericanGuy:
Don't abuse the recline
Fark you, dipwad. I paid for the seat, including the room it takes up in recline. Your seat reclines too, you know.


I love guys like you. I can kick the back of your seat for HOURS and never get bored.Dear Jerk: Let me just say I've never been on a flight with an attractive waitress. Oh, there's been some okay ones, but even considering how boring a flight can be, I've never had one worth staring at.



Fly Cathay Pacific, Singapore, JAL, Korean, Thai, just about any Asian airline and you will see eye candy aplenty. Not to mention you will also see good service. They are known as air hostesses, not flight attendants. Of course if you only fly domestic you are SOL, sorry. You can however Google images of stewardesses from the time when that word was acceptable.
 
2012-02-27 05:56:22 AM
Fark: where "a feature of the seat is that it reclines, and I would like to use that feature" is 'self-absorbed', and "I demand extra legroom and I will knee you in the back repeatedly if I don't get it!" is not.
 
2012-02-27 08:02:50 AM
Wow - what an assole.

1: No bare feet

Who farking cares? If I want my feet to be free let them be free. They're a fark of a lot cleaner than your tennis shoes.

2: Don't abuse the recline

It's impossible to abuse the recline if you listen to the pilot. He - and it is always a "he" in my experience - will tell you when you can recline your seat. Don't be a biatch about it. Do not klck the back of my chair because you're a whiny little biatch or a fat biatch who can't take reality.

I paid for this flight and I got a seat that reclines - end of story biatch.

That's enough - not even going to entertain the other points but fark you - if you've ever had a grown woman kick the back of your seat on a flight because you had the nerve to recline it you know what I mean.

The next time that happens to me someone is going to get arrested. It might be me but fark that shiat. You do not act like a child you farking biatch.
 
2012-02-27 09:22:05 AM
Farkistanian: 4) Standing up moments after the plane touches down does not allow you to leave the plane faster.

Oh for god's sake THIS!!! I don't know why it annoys me. It just does. people always have to stand up and wait in the isles, for no reason whatsoever. The plane still disembarks the same way, morons. standing up does NOT get you off the plane faster.

AverageAmericanGuy: Do not show up half an hour before the scheduled flight time

Why? They don't hold planes for dumbasses. Late? Miss the flight. I'm not so arrogant as to get annoyed if I can't leave early.
 
2012-02-27 09:25:07 AM
Dadoo: cptjeff: Here's how this goes:

Economy seat is $200. Exit row is $220. You buy the $220 seat and claim reimbursement for $200.

Know how I know you've never tried to get an exit-row seat?

Or: You buy $200 seat. At the gate, you purchase business class upgrade for additional $300.

Where the hell do you live, that you can get any flights for $200? Where I live, economy typically starts at $400 (with the usual 3 week notice) and goes up to $1400. Business class upgrades are in the neighborhood of $500 to $1000 (if they exist on that flight). If you think I'm going to pay that kind of money for you to recline, you can definitely go fark yourself.

Or: You buy $200 seat. When checking in, you change seats to an extra legroom seat (exit row or front row). Machine asks for $20. You insert your personal credit card.

Again, try it, sometime. It's not that easy.

One thing I will say: one of these days, someone is going to recline their seat too quickly on my knees and do some serious damage. When that happens, I can assure you, I will sue them and the airline to the fullest extent possible.


Wanna know how I know you don't fly much/ at all?


/you clearly don't know what you're doing.
 
2012-02-27 10:57:36 AM
Madbassist1: AverageAmericanGuy: Do not show up half an hour before the scheduled flight time

Why? They don't hold planes for dumbasses. Late? Miss the flight. I'm not so arrogant as to get annoyed if I can't leave early.


If you don't want to miss your flight, don't show up half an hour before the scheduled flight time. I thought I was pretty clear.
 
2012-02-27 11:01:27 AM
I don't mind those things - as a frequent flier my 2 biggest gripes are:
People that crank up their MP3 players so I can hear their crappy music 3 seats away
The idiot that sits behind me pulls the back of my seat when they try to get their fat ass out of the chair.
 
2012-02-27 12:33:12 PM
AverageAmericanGuy: Madbassist1: AverageAmericanGuy: Do not show up half an hour before the scheduled flight time

Why? They don't hold planes for dumbasses. Late? Miss the flight. I'm not so arrogant as to get annoyed if I can't leave early.

If you don't want to miss your flight, don't show up half an hour before the scheduled flight time. I thought I was pretty clear.


oh. I thought the point was "don't do these things as they may annoy others." Apologies.
 
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