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(AZ Family)   2007: Converting your garage into a mancave. 2012: Converting your mancave into a survivalist's shelter. "The one thing I never want to hear from my kids is dad I'm hungry or dad I'm scared"   (azfamily.com) divider line 50
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11270 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Feb 2012 at 10:00 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-02-26 10:13:27 AM
11 votes:
"The one thing I never want to hear from my kids is dad I'm hungry or dad I'm scared"

The wife went to Portland for a conference this weekend. I've heard that sentence repeatedly in the past 48 hours.
2012-02-26 10:26:40 AM
4 votes:
And why is this brave warrior telling the evil liberal media about his fallout plans? Now Fartbinger knows exactly where he'll be and can focus his socialism laser right on him and his family.
2012-02-26 01:10:57 PM
3 votes:
Well let me tell 'ya, I'm a truck driver and I've seen it all, and it's gonna come down just like they're saying on the radio. If you don't believe me just listen to Beck, Levin and Rush.I'll tell you what, I'm hardly spending any money (except for on survivalist stuff) because I want to see whether Owebummer wins the presidential election, which frankly will signal the beginning of the Apocalypse.

My clueless brother doesn't realize that I'm the smart one - he thinks I'm brain washed but what does he know, he only sees me maybe once a year and frankly he doesn't know me extremely well. I'm working too hard (I only take a day or two off a month) to worry about what he's thinking.
2012-02-26 12:21:41 PM
3 votes:

Zizzowop: Between Doomsday Preppers, My Strange Addiction, Hoarders and Extreme Couponing, I have come to the conclusion that there are a lot of bat-crab crazy people in America.


You know, given the population of the US, there's probably at least one or two people out there who could be on all of those shows at once.

/obsessed with doomsday prepping at next to zero cost, Doug has filled his house with so much toothpaste and ketchup that he has to crap in a diaper. Also, he's become addicted to iodine pills.
2012-02-26 10:05:13 AM
3 votes:
Those are two things.
2012-02-26 09:44:05 AM
3 votes:
wanna bet he's a pant-pissing republican?
2012-02-26 08:51:22 PM
2 votes:
I am a prepper and I don't mind admitting it.

When I toured Europe, I saw and learned the effects of Y-ONE-K, when the world turned over 999 c.e. to 1,000. Nothing got built for 50 years, craftsmen in 30+ trades grew old and died leaving no young men trained to take their places. Bankers refused to loan money, students woud not go to school, farmers would not plant crops---it was 50 years to repair the damage.

The lesson was not lost on me: Natural disasters are a maybe, but people acting like shirtheads is a foregone conclusion.

When Y2K loomed, everyone laughed at me, but in the long run I figured it was like insurance: Better to have it and not need it than the other way round, I pay for insurance too and I am not the slightest bit unhappy that I don't die!

In the end, my Y2K "losses" totalled $4.80 for 96 cans of tuna which I bought for $0.55 which went on sale for $0.50 the next week, and a $3 service charge from my bank when I drained my savings below the minimum level-----not exactly a sum to cry over!

By March 2000, I had burned the last of my $0.75/gal. gasoline I had bought in November of 1999 and had to pay $1.39, so I about broke even on the deal. People laughed at me but I don't care; I didn't know at the time it would be a false alarm, I had no way to know that.

In Corpus Christi we have not been smacked by a hurricane since 1980, or 1970 for a big killer storm; by the law of averages we are long overdue. When hurricanes loom, I have a 30--day food supply, a 20--day water supply, gasoline for my generator and motorcycle, solar panels for electricity---and I will lay in a week's supply of beer when the strorm comes; I got caught short the last three times, don't tell me about hardship!

In addition to that, I do not think the economic crisis is anywhere near over, and conditions are very ripe for some shirthead in the Middle East to precipitate a crisis; surprised they have not done so already. Figure Europe collapses in debt and can't talk the problem away, they will drag us down as well---and our own finances are nothing but a house of cards, everyone knows it. Dumping Obama is tempting, but will not solve anything; new jerk--old numbers.

They are already talking $5 gasoline---what if the ragheads cut off supplies completely?

Failing all that, I expect the Dollar to keep sliding down and prices to keep rising, that is about as predictable as sunrise. So if I buy $500 worth of groceries and prices go up 25%, that's the same thing as a small CD at 25% interest, which I cannot cash out. The disposable razors I use are usually 25 cents, but I saw them on sale at 8.33 cents, and grabbed a year's supply. If anything I need is on sale, I stockpile it; easy money. My favorite beer went on sale for 40% off during "Black Friday"---and like a fool, I failed to stockpile, I could have saved $1000+; ouch!

Survivalism is not paranoia, just common sense: The lord giveth and the lord taketh away---but Murphy will get you every time.

You people who think the government will take care of you are the fools; ask those who got caught in Katrina how well it worked out.
2012-02-26 11:49:00 AM
2 votes:
Teacher: Class what have you done to be prepared for a disaster? Sally?

Sally: My family has a years worth of food, water filters, and medical supllies.

Teacher: Thats good Sally. Anyone else? Ben?

Ben: I have a gun and Sallys address
2012-02-26 11:31:27 AM
2 votes:
Agreeing with everyone else who said that there isn't anything wrong with being prepared for storm/power outage/ pandemic, BUT this guy has crossed over into the crazy.


/really should go put a few water jugs and cans of tuna in the basement... and batteries... and cat litter for people pooping...and shotguns... and RPG's..... and...
2012-02-26 11:14:59 AM
2 votes:
I don't see what is so unusual.
Families used to keep tornado shelters stocked with months worth of emergency supplies. Then they kept atomic bomb shelters, and now they've upgraded to general purpose SHTF shelters.
In a land of independence, planning to be semi independent on the day society falls apart is just the thing to do.

/Having a backup plan doesn't seem unwise.
/Having a backup plan to rebuild society... Might be a bit much.
/Seems less sketchy than the "eat your neighbors" plan.
2012-02-26 10:32:47 AM
2 votes:
Long-term pork in a can, another fine product brought to you by the makers of FLESHLIGHT!
2012-02-26 10:31:22 AM
2 votes:
Your kids are always going to say that. Cause kids are always hungry. You could fill them up at a buffet and they would still cry for food 2 hours later...IF the SHTF for real, the more important thing would be basic survival skills. You cant keep enough food water and emergency supplies in stock at any one place long enough to ride anything out longer than a week without it being the size of a Wal-mart. Not with a family of 4. Half your water will be wasted, half the food wont be eaten cause its 'gross' and by the time they are hungry enough to eat it, it will have spoiled or gotten contaminated, one person with the runs will use up all your TP and then, good sir, you are farked.
2012-02-26 10:21:18 AM
2 votes:
Long-term pork in the can

images.starpulse.com

heh, heh....
2012-02-26 10:20:43 AM
2 votes:

jayhawk88: Let's see:

- Remodel garage, purchase a "survival trailer"
- Buying thousands of dollars of supplies
- Building a 20 person underground compound
- Sounds like he has a generator of not insignificant size, presumably with a supply of diesel fuel as well

"The government is taking all my money! Damn you Obama!"


Ya because he is crazy for wanting to spend HIS OWN money how he chooses instead of being smart and letting Obama spend it more wisely. I would rather spend my money on survival gear then one of the 200k yuppie houses all my liberal friends have.
2012-02-26 10:08:31 AM
2 votes:
Link (new window)

Obligatory.
2012-02-26 10:08:28 AM
2 votes:
Let's see:

- Remodel garage, purchase a "survival trailer"
- Buying thousands of dollars of supplies
- Building a 20 person underground compound
- Sounds like he has a generator of not insignificant size, presumably with a supply of diesel fuel as well

"The government is taking all my money! Damn you Obama!"
2012-02-26 09:54:01 AM
2 votes:
How about "Dad, you're a paranoid idiot"?

/people couldn't live without power?
2012-02-26 09:27:48 AM
2 votes:
And so it begins...

media.giantbomb.com
2012-02-26 11:41:02 PM
1 votes:

olddinosaur:
So don't preach to me about survivalism, I have been there and been done by that. Any of you Farkers think you're tough, try five days in Texas in summer with no beer---we'll see how tough you are!

Buy a freezer to put in the garage or somewhere in the house. Save all the milk cartons or other large containers for a while. Sanitize and rinse, then fill them with water. Put lots of them in the freezer. After they're frozen solid you will have a huge mass of ice in the freezer. This will keep other stuff in the freezer cold for a longer time and provide beer ice if you break up a carton or two for the ice chest as needed.
2012-02-26 11:14:09 PM
1 votes:

olddinosaur: I had to go without beer for five long days, it was horrible.


This is why you are on my favorites list, bro. Gotta git up an go git me a cold Keystone Light just so's I can finish the thread!
2012-02-26 10:45:58 PM
1 votes:
TRUE STORY:

When Hurricane Rita bore up on the Texas coast, the Mayor of Corpus Christi ordered all the high-profile vehicles---trucks, trailers, semis, etc.---off the road on Tuesday. The following Wednesday the storm was on course, so he ordered the city evacuated.

I packed my "bug-out bag,": that was practical---but figured he said I had to evacuate. . . . . he didn't say how fast I had to go! I rolled out looking for a place to eat, but I had to travel 40 miles inland before I found a restaurant open.

That Mayor sure outsmarted me; shut down all the coffee shops and I am outta here, dude.

Most people were evacuating north so roads were jammed, and I went west instead. I spent the whole day tracking the storm on my laptop and my GPS, calculating vectors so I knew which way to run. By noon the storm was turning, and that was good; by three PM it had rolled ashore well to the east, so I knew it was safe.

I cruised home in 105--degree temperatures to find the whole town closed down------NO BEER ANYWHERE!

All the fast food people, all the gas station people, all the convenience store people---had seized this opportunity to grab a 5--day weekend; it was several days before things got back to normal.

I had to go without beer for five long days, it was horrible.

So don't preach to me about survivalism, I have been there and been done by that. Any of you Farkers think you're tough, try five days in Texas in summer with no beer---we'll see how tough you are!

Never again.
2012-02-26 01:37:25 PM
1 votes:

Valarius: rohar: 8 inches: My Smith and Wesson - that's all I need to survive.

Good luck with that. I know how to cast metals and source the materials for the foundry on my property. There's a ball mill in the shop that could be used for grinding/milling propellants. (I built it to clean steel parts). shiat hits the fan and I'm 24 hours away from a 6" cannon.


Be a lot easier if you already had the cannon and balls built. Gunpowder, on the other hand...


Yeah, come on rohar. Get ahead of the curve buddy. Plus apocalyptic road warrior chicks dig big cannons. You might get a head start on repopulating the planet.
2012-02-26 01:30:49 PM
1 votes:

StoneColdAtheist:

Ha! My '66 Mustang laughs at your lack of faith... ;)


Who would have thought being poor and driving crappy old cars would come in useful someday?

/thank God for carburetors.
// or, thank nothing in your case StoneColdAthiest
///Seriously, you own a '66 mustang and you don't believe in a god?
////Must not be restored. . . my father in law has a '56 corvette. Driving that thing makes makes me feel religious.
2012-02-26 01:25:51 PM
1 votes:

8 inches: My Smith and Wesson - that's all I need to survive.


Good luck with that. I know how to cast metals and source the materials for the foundry on my property. There's a ball mill in the shop that could be used for grinding/milling propellants. (I built it to clean steel parts). shiat hits the fan and I'm 24 hours away from a 6" cannon.
2012-02-26 01:24:43 PM
1 votes:

Goddess of Atheism: Is this the same guy who was on last night's episode of "Doomsday Preppers?" Because if he is, I detected a huge gaping hole in his survival plan: he and his kids have practiced so that they can drive from their home to their bug-out wilderness cabin in less than 40 minutes (assuming the roads are completely free of traffic in the apocalypse), but -- the guy's specific fear is an EMP frying the nation's electronics. In which case, did this guy stop to consider that unless he's had it specially shielded, his own car will be un-driveable after an EMP?


Ha! My '66 Mustang laughs at your lack of faith... ;)
2012-02-26 01:23:37 PM
1 votes:

Goddess of Atheism: In which case, did this guy stop to consider that unless he's had it specially shielded, his own car will be un-driveable after an EMP?


Maybe he has a second car parked in a Faraday cage. You have to admit, that would be pretty ingenious.
2012-02-26 01:17:38 PM
1 votes:
My Smith and Wesson - that's all I need to survive.
2012-02-26 01:16:04 PM
1 votes:
Is this the same guy who was on last night's episode of "Doomsday Preppers?" Because if he is, I detected a huge gaping hole in his survival plan: he and his kids have practiced so that they can drive from their home to their bug-out wilderness cabin in less than 40 minutes (assuming the roads are completely free of traffic in the apocalypse), but -- the guy's specific fear is an EMP frying the nation's electronics. In which case, did this guy stop to consider that unless he's had it specially shielded, his own car will be un-driveable after an EMP?

I'm also thinking that "moving your supply stash from your suburban home to your bug-out wilderness cabin" is the sort of thing you ought to do before the apocalypse strikes.
2012-02-26 12:50:33 PM
1 votes:
Ralston said the top three things we would need if a disaster dropped would be water, food and a first aid kit.

So when the city folk that survive show up at my mountain retreat...

Jeremiah : What can I do for you.
City folk: You got a first aid kit?
Jeremiah: Are you injured?
City folk: No, but it's very important.
Jeremiah: Sure you don't want to come out of the driving rain and get warm and dry?
City folk: No...no...I've got to find a first aid kit...
2012-02-26 12:37:53 PM
1 votes:

Valarius:
Be careful. There are now drug growers in national parks. They don't just abandon their crop.


Not around here. Too cold, remote, rugged and miserable. Plus, hippies and city people who try to grow pot in the mountains are idiots- they don't know how to cover their tracks, they're weak and they're completely out of place. I grew up running around the forest naked, killing things with sticks- and not much has changed. I'm not too worried about city boys.
2012-02-26 12:19:08 PM
1 votes:
They left this off the things he never wants to hear from his kids:

"Daddy, a black man is President!"
2012-02-26 12:15:37 PM
1 votes:
The real story....
Some guy has too much free time and money....also enjoys building crap and being an attention whore....has more fun redesigning his spare space than uses his spare space and wants you to know about.
2012-02-26 11:48:14 AM
1 votes:

jso2897: Guntram Shatterhand: jso2897: There is nothing wrong with this, in and of itself.
There is, however, a certain mindset that one tends to see among "survivalists" - a dissociation with society, and an indifference to the fortunes of others. The idea that one will survive the collapse of civilization is the ultimate manifestation of "screw you, I've got mine".
It's a fantasy, of course - but it's a toxic fantasy that feeds into the sort of social autism that seems to be so common these days.

This. And notice how the survivalist always gets off on the idea of having people come to him and beg for help. It's just a power trip writ large. You never see these types really planning ahead or having alternate plans for survival, either. Try asking them what happens when their food runs out, or if something horrible knocks their holy plan out of the water like a piece of metal crushing their bunker or preventing access. Or if they all catch some illness and has no access to medical care.

It's just another sad extension of Survival of the Fittest where the one speaking is always--ALWAYS--the fittest.

It's a fantasy - reality is that we are civilized people who are products of and members of civilization - and if it dies, we die. Oh, sure, a few will survive - and a few people will win the lottery, too. Any "plan" to survive the collapse of civilization is about as much of a "plan" as buying lottery tickets.
If you really care about your survival, see to it that civilization survives - accept that you have a debt to society, and to you fellow men.


A Heinline esq view... but as with the lottery, you can alter your chances based on how much you are willing to invest. People who have gathered the right skills and equipment will be more likely to survive on their own.
If civilization asks for too much of the wrong things, you can choose to OBEY or prepare to go it alone.

/actually, you can either be prepared or not.
/You can't make an individual decision to support the dystopian future and assume society will play along.
2012-02-26 11:41:59 AM
1 votes:
All you need is an assault rifle and a map to where the nearest Mormons live.
2012-02-26 11:36:48 AM
1 votes:
My survivalist strategy.

Affable, charming, orally fixated, and can breathe through my ears.
2012-02-26 11:27:08 AM
1 votes:

DeRosso:
- Having enough arable soil to feed my family
-arrows


Why would you feed your family soil?

You cray
2012-02-26 11:04:18 AM
1 votes:

IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: Reminds me of a friend who was asking me if he should buy gold:

F(riend): "Should I buy gold?"
M(e): "Why?"
F: "Well, in case everything collapses."
M: Well, certificates won't do you any good in that case, so you'd need to buy actual gold."
F: "Alright, I could do that."
M: "Do you have any guns?"
F: "No."
M: (Mimicking pointing a gun at him) "Give me your gold."

/CSB
//He didn't buy gold
///Brass and lead, MY survival kit


I have a hefty-supply of ammunition- not necessarily because I hoard it, but because I go shoot 30 rounds and have 10 left over- I don't like to mix different lots or I'm shooting handloads the next time, so I just pile them in a corner somewhere. I was going through my closet-o-ammo a couple months ago and realized I've got enough random rounds lying around to fight a small war. It's awesome how that works- it's like putting your spare change in a jar and then opening it one day to find that you have a couple hundred bucks.

/found around 400 rounds of .44 mag that I'd forgotten I'd had. Whoopee!
//Although shooting 400 really hot rounds of .44 mag loaded with 350 hollow points isn't really a fun time.
2012-02-26 10:55:52 AM
1 votes:
Reminds me of a friend who was asking me if he should buy gold:

F(riend): "Should I buy gold?"
M(e): "Why?"
F: "Well, in case everything collapses."
M: Well, certificates won't do you any good in that case, so you'd need to buy actual gold."
F: "Alright, I could do that."
M: "Do you have any guns?"
F: "No."
M: (Mimicking pointing a gun at him) "Give me your gold."

/CSB
//He didn't buy gold
///Brass and lead, MY survival kit
2012-02-26 10:55:18 AM
1 votes:

DeRosso: You know what my fantasy is?

- Building a well insulated house
- geo thermal heating.
- 2 small-ish windmills (2-3 kWh each)
- Solar panels (4-6 kWh)
- Having a well
- Having a small electrolysis plant, a storage tank and fuel cells in a mound at least 50 m away from the house
- having a hydrogen car that I can refuel form my "hydrogen mound"
- Having enough arable soil to feed my family
- Having it all sorrounded by a chain-link fence
- A zombie apocalypse
- lots of DVD's.
- Riot gear
- A crossbow and lots of arrows


Your posts should be labeled NSFW. How dare you talk about a sexy sexy zombie apocalypse in public. Some kid could get on here and read about your "hydrogen mound." And crossbows? That's sick.

/has a similar fantasy
//not as crazy as the guy in the article though
2012-02-26 10:53:54 AM
1 votes:

Cerebral Knievel: ha-ha-guy: "If Americans lost our power grid it would be devastating," he said. "People couldn't live without power because we're too dependent on it now."

Yes because back during the blackout of 2003 we all turned in to shiat flinging monkeys who were feasting upon the brains of our neighbors.

Yea, those were the days weren't they?

Ah, good times.. good times.


When the power failed, the local grocery stores discounted all their sea food and meat to "must sell NOW!" prices. I fully approve of a yearly blackout on that level due to the sales.

/have a whole house generator
//not a survivalist, more that we lose power four or five times a year due to ice taking down the powerlines
2012-02-26 10:37:29 AM
1 votes:
The one thing I never want to hear from my kids is dad I'm hungry or dad I'm scared"

Because nothing calms your children like converting your garage into a shrine to the possibility of imminent societal collapse and anarchy.
2012-02-26 10:34:08 AM
1 votes:
You know what my fantasy is?

- Building a well insulated house
- geo thermal heating.
- 2 small-ish windmills (2-3 kWh each)
- Solar panels (4-6 kWh)
- Having a well
- Having a small electrolysis plant, a storage tank and fuel cells in a mound at least 50 m away from the house
- having a hydrogen car that I can refuel form my "hydrogen mound"
- Having enough arable soil to feed my family
- Having it all sorrounded by a chain-link fence
- A zombie apocalypse
- lots of DVD's.
- Riot gear
- A crossbow and lots of arrows
2012-02-26 10:23:05 AM
1 votes:
In case of apocalypse, raid the houses of the people who brag about their survival supplies.
2012-02-26 10:20:26 AM
1 votes:
That's not a bomb shelter.

THIS IS A BOMB SHELTER (new window)

/I just hope the dollar bills are recyclable else running out is a serious risk
2012-02-26 10:18:27 AM
1 votes:
Home of the brave.
2012-02-26 10:12:42 AM
1 votes:
Anybody else notice how the big survivalist trend in the last decade or so coincides with zombies being huge in popular culture and the DIY movement really taking off?

Sometimes I wonder if we're not being subtly prepared for something.
2012-02-26 10:11:19 AM
1 votes:

WTFDYW: I grow more disappointed in my fewwlow fellow man every day. It's kooks like this clown that accelerates it.


/What the hell happened?
2012-02-26 10:10:20 AM
1 votes:
I grow more disappointed in my fewwlow man every day. It's kooks like this clown that accelerates it.
2012-02-26 10:07:44 AM
1 votes:
"Dad, I'm in a dark place"... Oh hell's no!
Has cat's...no kids.
2012-02-26 09:46:59 AM
1 votes:

Ed Finnerty: And so it begins...

[media.giantbomb.com image 300x228]


Wow. Good thing I have one of those lunchboxes in the basement.

/feels prepared
 
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