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(Google)   What's the shiattiest job you've ever held? Bonus question: Ever pulled a "super quit" at work?   ( google.com) divider line
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15363 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Feb 2012 at 5:51 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-02-26 06:51:57 PM  
Shortly after I got out of college I worked for a 100 person large company in New York State that made industrial equipment as an electrical hardware design engineer. This was a long time ago before the internet and email. Most software in those days involved punch cards. The company primarily sold systems to international customers.

The company brought in a "turn-around" CEO who shoved out the original founder. This character had only a high school degree and was a former boxer. He spent his time screaming and yelling at people. He "turned" the company around by driving sales from $10M down to near zero because he treated the customers like crap also. All while paying himself and his brought-in cronies big bucks and yachting from his multi-million dollar Long Island water-front home.

The company also stopped paying expense reports. I did not normally travel too much so I did not have a high total; but the couple thousand I had outstanding was never being paid no matter how often you politely inquired about it. This worried me because I was newly married and had recently purchased my first house. Suddenly in October the paychecks were late and the executives kept saying the paychecks would be coming and that some big company was buying them out. They threatened if we quit then they would not pay your paychecks.

Here is where the "super quit" part comes in and it was not done by me. The company had a field engineer based in a PacRim country overseas. Let's call him "Mike". He got tired of not being reimbursed for expense reports and then not being paid, and was working at the site of the only customer who might shortly pay the company some money. First he demand that the CEO forward him cash directly via Western Union (or some other service) before he would do any more work at the customer site. The company sent him the money (a large sum), after which he disappeared. No one could contact him at the hotel phone, customer site phone, fax, etc. - No contact whatsoever.

What is the company's backup plan - Send me over to the country immediately. I refused to go and demanded that the CEO give me in cash the plane fare, hotel, food, etc. plus extra before I went. I stood in his office with his useless crony executive staff while he flipped 100's into my hand. I kept demanding more cash before I left his office (reminding me of a scene in an old movie). I got enough buffer to cover my mortgage payment for the month.

So I flew overseas. Their first demand was that I find "Mike". He was a single guy who had been over there for about a year. I had not much hope until I asked the hotel maître d while slipping him cash and found out what Mike's favorite pastime was.

So you will ask.... Where was Mike? I found him in a bar with a whorehouse above it. He took the money from the company purchased a plane ticket home (one week out) and spent the rest of hookers and booze. I found him at the bar, totally tanked. Fortunately, he liked me from when I had trained him on the company's new products in the states over a year earlier. He purchased me drinks and gave me a basic outline of what needed to be fixed at the customer site. He also gave me an outline of his plans to leave the country in a week and intent to blow every last dime of the cash before leaving. The company never heard from him again.

I went on the fix the customer's problems for a week. Whenever the company asked me if "I found Mike"; I told them "No".

I flew home, politely gave my two weeks notice. At this time, I found out while the company was not paying its employees, the executives never missed a paycheck and even gave themselves Christmas bonuses.
 
2012-02-26 06:53:55 PM  
Back in the early 1990s, Office Depot hired me to be a support technician. Specifically, people would come in and ask for RAM upgrades and such for their Packard Bell PCs and I had to figure out precisely which RAM or other upgrade part was necessary, and so on. This is back when every single PC out there might have its own RAM clock/bus speed, and a lot of people were still trying to whip the last life out of an old IBM PC-XT so they couldn't just swap in an IDE HDD -- they needed a controller too. A lot of times I would go ahead and do the install right there at my workstation if it was sufficiently trivial. Decent enough work, and I had enough PK that it was low-stress.

One day, things were slow and a mid-manager saw me gathering wool, so she slapped a mop handle into my hand and said, "If there's time to lean, there's time to clean!"

I don't know what came over me in that moment, but I simply. would. not. have. it. Thus began my one and only rage-quit, mild as it was.

I challenged her, "I'm not sales, I'm tech support. You want me mopping the floors?"

"You're not doing anything else right now," or something to that effect, she answered.

"My area is clear and I'm ready to help customers. The sales guys do cleaning. I never do cleaning. I wouldn't have taken this job if you guys had said I would have to."

(Note that I don't consider cleaning "beneath me" or any such thing; it's just that I had worked for a year or so at a computer supply shop that had unfortunately succumbed to the misfortunes of business, and thus I considered myself a technical worker and not janitorial -- other than keeping a presentable workstation and testing area, cleaning simply was not my role. At the previous shop, they had a janitor and I guaran-damn-tee you I didn't bother him to help me build 486sx-class BTO PCs.)

She said that it was in my job description under "other duties as assigned." And she was probably correct, in all fairness, that "other duties as assigned" was on my paperwork. By the letter, she was probably right and I probably was supposed to start moppin', however stupid and wasteful of staff resources it is to have a technician mopping the floors. But I wasn't having it.

"I'm not mopping the floors. I do tech support." I was only 20, so I wasn't fully in control of my emotions and I was raising my voice a bit.

"Don't make a scene in front of the customers," she said. Nobody was waiting at my counter but there were people browsing the store.

Rather than quieting down, I just growled, "I'm not mopping the floors."

Managerette says, "If you won't perform the tasks we assign you, we'll have to let you go."

And then I, being far too stupid to let myself be fired and collect unemployment, yelled back, "If you don't know the difference between a tech and a janitor then I don't want to work here anyway! I QUIT!"

I ripped off my name tag. Tore my shirt. Ah, the temper of youth.

And that... was the end of that.

Worked at many places since, most better, some worse. Right now I have a good job and no intention of leaving it. Fortunately, my boss today is completely comfortable with my role performing legal review, and has no intention of having me do the job of the janitorial service that comes in every evening. :)
 
2012-02-26 06:59:25 PM  

bmwericus: Trance750: CSB: Right out of high school, I answered an ad for a sales rep, saying you could set your own hours and make hundereds of dollars an hour

Being very young and niave, I went to inqure and we were to go from business to business selling novelty items

I asked what we should do if the sign said 'No solicitors' and the trainer just said 'Pretend you don't see it. The worst they can do is tell you to leave, and because you never know if a big sale is on the other side'

I did fairly well, and netted about $15 an hour... of course, we were always paid in cash, and we were not compensated for gasoline or other expenses, so that cut into our cash flow

He would load our cars down each day with merchendise that we were supposed that we could basically charge whatever we wanted, as long as what we charged didn't cut into the profits.

It was supposed to be a 50/50 deal. He would supply the products, we would then go and peddle them and we each got half.... the only thing is he would deduct (from our cut) things such as 'inventory fees' for the storage of what we didn't sell that day

I lasted about a month, and told him I was quitting and he called me into his office and told me that I owed him over $1,000 for merchendise that was never accounted for.

I told him I would go to the bank and be back in an hour

I never went back

Oh, I had one of those, it was luggage, the crummies stuff. The meetings every AM were a hoot, they had a jack you up and glaze you over hoorah meeting every AM before you hit the street. I lasted two days and never went back - what a stupid way to run a company.



ugh, reminds me of a job i had collecting money for charity. The charities contract out to these door to door companies and the workers get paid on commission for the money they collect. Of course the people donating money dont know this. And the collectors pretty much lie about it if asked.

The mornings were spent doing these truely bizare morale building sessions with a slogan: "join us in creating excitement... JUICE by you!... shudder

utterly horrifying! hmm, now that I think of if it, my shiat job with an oil refinery is heaven to this collection job I briefly held. It took a special kind of person to do this job, dishonestly wheedling money out of people. I don't know how I lasted 2 weeks. still, I politely informed them it wasnt for me and took my leave.
 
2012-02-26 07:06:30 PM  

Thai_Mai_Xhu: Back when that whole H.R. Puffinstuff syndicate was running things in Toonerville, I was part of the operator crew for Jingles The Dragon. Good gig, all I had to do was drive the Dragon Wagon (an old golf cart rigged to look like a place you might find a Dragon) and work one of his arms or sometimes make his tail swish.
Anyway, we get this two week gig during our "off season"(believe me, we were all a little off) (Puffinstuff indeed).
Anyway, the gig was opening these new gasoline station/minimart locations, so we were doing two days at each one.
Well, there was this clown outfit. I was the only one who fit into it, and I had loads of experience making balloon animals, squirting people with my flower, and of course chasing after ..ahem...large ladies honking one of those old squeeze bulb type horns. Anyway, Jay gets his kid to come help running Jingles, and I'm the clown...yeeehaw!
The first day on the clown gig some dickweed tried to grab my big red nose, so of course I threw a bucket of confetti on him, and chased him around with my horn after the style of Harpo Marx. The next day the nose grabber came back and brought friends. They decided throwing firecrackers at the clown would be funny (we were at a GAS station mind you). So what's a clown to do? Well, I grabbed a nearby firextinguisher and opened up on em. They ran for their car but I managed to pretty well fill the interior with whatever anti-fire stuff was in the extinguisher, they all exited the other side, so I took the oportunity to raise the hood, reach inside my clown suit and get my trusty buck knife out...PPPPfffffttt x4. That's right. I stabbed all four of their tires in the sidewalls. After while they came slinking back to get their car but had to buy four new tires before they could drive it to have the fire extinguisher stuff vacuumed out. The dad of the kid who owned the car called raising a biatch saying he was going to come up there and stomp that clowns ass. Well duh.
Anyway, mach dad dude sh ...


omigod, I dont know if you are serious but that funny shiat right there!


fark YOU CLOWN!

ahahahaha
 
2012-02-26 07:14:11 PM  
A call center job, through two or three levels of sub-contracting, doing tech support for Philips/Magnavox AV eequipment. If it wasn't the idiots in the Manila call center sending us calls for products THEY were supposed to be supporting (like alarm clocks and electric razors) that we had no contacts or documentation for, it was some drunk guido from Jersey threatening to sue me personally because his plasma TV asploded the day before the Super Bowl and no, you cannot get a replacement today, but here's a local service center who will send a rep out to your home on Monday. Or the Comcast installers who couldn't figure out which set of jacks to use, not on the TV, but on their own cable boxes. Or the "college professor with a whole room of very smart people listening in on speaker" who told me that these "very smart people" all agreed that I had no idea what I was talking about when I tried to explain that he had his DVDR hooked up wrong and that was why he wasn't seeing the menus on the TV. Or the elderly bat from Oklahoma who was positive it was the TV's fault she was suddenly getting 20 channels of porn because "my cable company wouldn't broadcast that kind of smut".

Eventually, because said two or three layers of subcontracting were a total clusterfark, the company lost the contract and we ALL got laid off. I don't think I've ever been so HAPPY to lose a job.
 
2012-02-26 07:14:51 PM  
Do not take a job at any semiconductor manufacturers in the beverly, ma area. I've worked in 6 other wafer fabs/cleanrooms including INTEL and never been submitted to so much verbal abuse from management. Nevermind not getting a raise every 3 years company wide.
24 years dealing with high voltage, explosive gases, bone eating acids. I'd name the company If I thought I could.
 
2012-02-26 07:15:38 PM  

ski9600: Flint Ironstag: The place I worked had a manager at another branch who wanted to get rid of a useless worker. He started writing him up and the whole disciplinary process, so the guy handed his notice in. It was mid December and this was retail so he offered to stay on to see Christmas through. The manager suggested the guy work until Dec 24th and the guy agreed.

What this guy didn't know, and what the manager did, was the company policy was that you had to work Christmas Day to get the Christmas bonus. Since it had already been paid top this guy mid December his final payslip at the end of January took the bonus back. We all laughed about that I can tell you.

What's the point of offering a bonus if you don't tell the front line staff about it. Upper management failure, right there.


Everyone knew about the Christmas bonus, and everyone was paid it mid December.

The bit he didn't know was the "You must be employed by the company on December 25th" fine print, hence by agreeing to finish on the 24th he gave up the bonus. That he'd already been paid. So they took it back in his last paycheque.
 
2012-02-26 07:31:29 PM  
I discovered it takes a special kind of person to work anywhere near a nursing home. I had some background in the medical field, and this place offered training to become what was then called a "nurse's aide."

Went through the training, and I was fine with the book learning and paperwork parts, I knew I could handle that, and I passed the training. But when I was on the floor for the first day, I was okay with the lifting part, and helping with the feeding, and could even handle diaper duty for the bedridden, because I understood their situation. But later in the day, bathtime. I couldn't do it. I had to much respect for those people, I just couldn't do it. Broke my heart.

No superquit, just told the supervisor, I couldn't handle it, didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, didn't want to become attached to these people who could die at any second, and just could not handle it. Only job I ever quit that I just could not give a 2 weeks notice. I couldn't even finish 1 shift. Not the place's fault, it was nice enough, couldn't blame the old people, co-workers seemed decent and caring, I just couldn't do it. I have all the respect in the world for those who can. And I only hope in my old age, someone who gives a damn takes that underpaid, unappreciated job.
 
2012-02-26 07:37:45 PM  
I receive around $10,000/week from a trust fund set up by my great great grandfather... so I have never actually had a job/job.

But this one time my check was late by 2 days, and I found out that the crippled mail-woman who delivered my mail had left her route to attend to a seizure one of her kids had after their dad was killed in an accident with flesh-eating bacteria while he was on a aid mission in Africa helping war orphans.

I had that biatch fired... so it worked out OK.
 
2012-02-26 07:42:04 PM  

olddinosaur: basemetal: Oh yeah, roughnecking was not only dirty, it was farking dangerous.

THIS. Been there, done that.

I worked stayed drunk at Halliburton in a chickenshirt one-horse redneck town where everyone was a drunk and the boss was the biggest alcoholic of all. He came in drunk and fired me, since I was the only one who could run the office, that was a bad move.

I took reciepts for $100,000 worth of cementing work (this was 1974, it would be about $500,000 today) and flipped them out the window of my car as I drove back to my home town, and I also used Halliburton's PO Box as my own for my personal mail. When I filled out my change of address card, the company's mail was diverted to my new address; things were screwed up for months, I was glad to be of service.

As drunk a they all were, I doubt they noticed.

When I worked at Baroid I was carrying a whole division on my shoulders, doing the work of about three men for the pay of less than one. I got plenty sick of it and told them to go get screwed right out of the blue---the whole division went into a state of collapse, the rest of he people could not pick up the slack.

The boss I worked for died of a heart attack at only 61, precipitated by job stress, and the assistant boss got killed in a drunken fight about nothing, and the man who did it was never indicted because 11 witnesses said it was self defense. I would add, good riddance; he deserved it.

Stay out of the oil field, it will drive you crazy fast, and the money is not worth it.


You probably know my Saturday night Pathfinder Game Master. He does that sort of thing. (mud/cement work, not killing people in drunken fights.... he's Canadian, after all)
 
2012-02-26 07:44:01 PM  

ArmanTanzarian: I receive around $10,000/week from a trust fund set up by my great great grandfather... so I have never actually had a job/job.

But this one time my check was late by 2 days, and I found out that the crippled mail-woman who delivered my mail had left her route to attend to a seizure one of her kids had after their dad was killed in an accident with flesh-eating bacteria while he was on a aid mission in Africa helping war orphans.

I had that biatch fired... so it worked out OK.


I once was delivering a mail route, despite my crippling medical issues, when one of my kids had a seizure....
.....
... some asshat customer complained and they fired me.

Best thing that ever happened to me; now I just sit around collecting my SS disability payment and posting on Fark.
 
2012-02-26 07:45:29 PM  
Never did a super quit that I can recall, certainly not to the extent that folks in here have. However, I did get kicked off a job site at one time that, more or less amounts to the same thing...

When I was a glazier(loved the company I worked for, and my job actually; had a lot of fun doing it even though it was hot/dirty/backbreaking work some days) I used to install custom shower doors, mirrors, glass shelves, etc. for the various builders in the area. Had constant trouble with one particular job site superintendent who would constantly change things after I had already measured them, or would give me wrong information upon initial inspection.

Anyway, went out to measure for some 1/2" glass shelves(about 5 at 48"x18") to be installed next to a fireplace, I was assured that the area was completely finished and ready for painting. So, I measured what I needed and left. 2 weeks later, I come back to install the shelves, and they don't fit. So now I'm perplexed and start remeasuring and the opening is 1/2" shorter than originally. Got to talking to the drywall guys, and painters, and such and they had to refinish the area as there was a huge bow in the wall.

Talk to the job site super, and was explaining to him that we'd have to charge him for the shelves and why... Long story short he starts yelling at me that he never said he was ready for measurements, and if that's what I did then it was my fault, blah blah blah(wasn't this first time this guy had done this to me). I stopped him, explained to him all the other crap he'd pulled, then called him a lying asshole motherfarker and left feeling on top of the world.

Got back to my shop, told my GM, and Service Coordinator what happened, got nods of sympathy, and went home. Next day I was called in to the GMs office, and told that I was no longer allowed back on any of that builders job sites, etc. etc. So they basically changed me over to doing more commercial type work. A few months later, that builder started begging my company to allow me to come back as they were having trouble keeping everything straight, and since I knew how to get by with certain things, and make it look good they wanted me back so they didn't have to keep fixing all the problems they were having.

Was one of the best vindications I've ever had. I hated that superintendent, worst one I'd ever had to deal with.
 
2012-02-26 07:48:15 PM  

the.swartz: I worked third shift in a tampon factory.

I was fired for allowing the shrink-wrap oven to get jammed, causing several cases of tampons to burn. My job literally ended with boxes of flaming tampons.

It's gotten better since then, for sure.


2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

Like a bau5!
 
2012-02-26 07:50:11 PM  

gblive: ArmanTanzarian: I receive around $10,000/week from a trust fund set up by my great great grandfather... so I have never actually had a job/job.

But this one time my check was late by 2 days, and I found out that the crippled mail-woman who delivered my mail had left her route to attend to a seizure one of her kids had after their dad was killed in an accident with flesh-eating bacteria while he was on a aid mission in Africa helping war orphans.

I had that biatch fired... so it worked out OK.

I once was delivering a mail route, despite my crippling medical issues, when one of my kids had a seizure....
.....
... some asshat customer complained and they fired me.

Best thing that ever happened to me; now I just sit around collecting my SS disability payment and posting on Fark.


Heck of a coincidence.

I finally inherited my full fortune some years ago, and found out the mail-woman was collecting Social Security! So I spent billions lobbying the government and bribing politicians to bankrupt Social Security to get her thrown off of it...

Won't be much longer...
 
2012-02-26 08:00:32 PM  

ArmanTanzarian: gblive: ArmanTanzarian: I receive around $10,000/week from a trust fund set up by my great great grandfather... so I have never actually had a job/job.

But this one time my check was late by 2 days, and I found out that the crippled mail-woman who delivered my mail had left her route to attend to a seizure one of her kids had after their dad was killed in an accident with flesh-eating bacteria while he was on a aid mission in Africa helping war orphans.

I had that biatch fired... so it worked out OK.

I once was delivering a mail route, despite my crippling medical issues, when one of my kids had a seizure....
.....
... some asshat customer complained and they fired me.

Best thing that ever happened to me; now I just sit around collecting my SS disability payment and posting on Fark.

Heck of a coincidence.

I finally inherited my full fortune some years ago, and found out the mail-woman was collecting Social Security! So I spent billions lobbying the government and bribing politicians to bankrupt Social Security to get her thrown off of it...

Won't be much longer...


That's really fascinating. After seeing how so many rich people use their money to screw over everyone else, and how many working stiffs try to warp the system to give themselves a free ride, I quit my job as Secret Emperor of the Universe.

All those bugs I introduced into the LHC have been removed. The black hole should destroy the earth in about 36 hours. Suck it, earthlings!
 
2012-02-26 08:05:30 PM  
I haven't had bad jobs, but I have had terrible, terrible bosses. I guess my one and only "super quit" was when I was working at Meijer in the Deli. The Deli department manager was an old, mean biatch who constantly criticized and demeaned everyone below her. She would even occasionally scream/yell at her employees (including me). We're gonna call her "Deli biatch" from here on out, ok? She was irresponsible and ran her department poorly. Let's just say, we just barely passed a health inspection. She failed to give me and another new employee some important documents containing our PIN codes to access our payroll data for several weeks. I had to ask HR where the PIN code was at and the nice HR lady got furious with the Deli biatch. (This Deli biatch was pretty much disliked by everyone who ever had to deal with her.) She was always on my ass for not doing things fast enough, and I had other employees immediately come to my defense because she was outrageous in her demands of me. At the deli, you are dealing with sharp equipment and things can go wrong if you rush. I think I have successfully blocked out a lot of the terrible things she did and said to me. I remember that she was such an awful person, that all the deli employees held a meeting with some upper management in the store just to discuss how awful Deli biatch was to her employees in her department and how she was not doing her job correctly and it was causing problems for everyone else. Needless to say, nothing was done about her.

She went on a 7-day vacation and was subbed by a wonderful manager from another grocery-area department. Those 7 days were awesome, it was really nice to not have her around. I actually enjoyed my job and it was obvious that my co-workers were enjoying her absence as well. The relief I felt while she was gone, and the anxiety I was feeling about her impending return made me realize I just could not work there anymore. So, on the morning of her first shift back, I called in to quit. I didn't speak to her, of course. But it was nice to know that her and only one other employee would have to cover the deli for several hours, which happened to be during one of the busy times. (I felt really bad for the other employee...I didn't want to do that to them. But that Deli biatch had it coming.) (FYI, I couldn't eat Deli meat for a couple of years after that job. Just.Yuck.)

I have never quit another job like that, and in my defense I was an 18 year old and I didn't know how to properly deal with that kind of person yet. I still feel bad for that other employee. :(

My other sudden quit was a temp job. I was an Administrative Assistant for an 87 year old life insurance salesman. Yes, you read that right: an 87 year old life insurance salesman.. I only worked two days a week, and he was having some memory problems to say the least. He was just really, really old, and a very sweet WWII vet. I always treated him well. I actually have some funny stories from that job. Like how he would have his speakerphone intercom set at the maximum volume and he would use it to call me to come into his office, but my desk was only a few feet from his door. I was so close, I could hear him whisper my name. Instead the entire quiet office was suddenly interrupted with a very loud, "UH, COULD YOU COME INTO MY OFFICE, PLEASE....AND, UH....WAIT... NNOO, I'LL COME TO YOU." Oh, and his attempted use of a computer was funny as well. I tried to teach him, but....he just couldn't grasp it. There was an error on a web site that he needed to look at..and he thought that I should be able to fix it. He actually got upset at me until the IT guy explained to him that it wasn't fixable on our end...lol. However, the time I was there, I didn't have a lot to do. There wasn't much work. The job was only 16 hrs a week maximum. I stayed there for six months until I eventually got a 30+ hour a week job elsewhere. I quit the temp agency on a Friday and started the other job on Monday. The agency understood and congratulated me on the new position. I didn't call and talk to the 87 year old salesman because I don't think he could have properly understood. He was just kinda at that point of being out-of-it.

I cycled through another job, which ended okay. Some co-workers were just awful people. But, I was eventually laid off from that position because of a company downsize.

My next job was especially stressful because my immediate supervisor decided that shopping was more important that working..so yeah. She barely showed up to work during the day. Yeah, I complained. But she had a convenient excuse every time. I did her job and mine for $11 per hour.....and I did this for the better part of two years. Until the company downsized and the little people like me were laid off...without severance pay...Just given a nice swift kick in the ass on the way out the door. My supervisor got to keep her job, but was demoted.
That job was just terrible. So much stress. I could go into much more detail, but I just don't want to think about it. I was bullied a lot. I think it took a toll on my health. I was really overweight and mentally frazzled by the time that job ended. It really showed in my appearance. That job experience really gave me the swift kick in the ass I needed to get myself back into school. After two years in college, I'll will graduate with an Associates of Applied Science, specializing in web development, in a few months. Which I really, really love to do. I plan on pursuing a Bachelors, eventually. I've only had some work-study positions since then and I have some awesome, beautiful parents that have helped support me while I am in school.

I believe I have some low level of PTSD from that last job. I interviewed for a work study position a year ago, and the job description and the woman who interviewed me were eerily similar to my former position and supervisor that I actually hyperventilated after that interview when I got home... I LOL now, but it wasn't so funny then.

Well, those were my stories. You guys have better stories though...thanks for sharing!
 
2012-02-26 08:21:14 PM  

my herniated disc: Thai_Mai_Xhu: Back when that whole H.R. Puffinstuff syndicate was running things in Toonerville, I was part of the operator crew for Jingles The Dragon. Good gig, all I had to do was drive the Dragon Wagon (an old golf cart rigged to look like a place you might find a Dragon) and work one of his arms or sometimes make his tail swish.
Anyway, we get this two week gig during our "off season"(believe me, we were all a little off) (Puffinstuff indeed).
Anyway, the gig was opening these new gasoline station/minimart locations, so we were doing two days at each one.
Well, there was this clown outfit. I was the only one who fit into it, and I had loads of experience making balloon animals, squirting people with my flower, and of course chasing after ..ahem...large ladies honking one of those old squeeze bulb type horns. Anyway, Jay gets his kid to come help running Jingles, and I'm the clown...yeeehaw!
The first day on the clown gig some dickweed tried to grab my big red nose, so of course I threw a bucket of confetti on him, and chased him around with my horn after the style of Harpo Marx. The next day the nose grabber came back and brought friends. They decided throwing firecrackers at the clown would be funny (we were at a GAS station mind you). So what's a clown to do? Well, I grabbed a nearby firextinguisher and opened up on em. They ran for their car but I managed to pretty well fill the interior with whatever anti-fire stuff was in the extinguisher, they all exited the other side, so I took the oportunity to raise the hood, reach inside my clown suit and get my trusty buck knife out...PPPPfffffttt x4. That's right. I stabbed all four of their tires in the sidewalls. After while they came slinking back to get their car but had to buy four new tires before they could drive it to have the fire extinguisher stuff vacuumed out. The dad of the kid who owned the car called raising a biatch saying he was going to come up there and stomp that clowns ass. Well duh.
Anyway, ma ...


HONK, HONK!!!!
 
2012-02-26 08:21:49 PM  

ArmanTanzarian: gblive: ArmanTanzarian: I receive around $10,000/week from a trust fund set up by my great great grandfather... so I have never actually had a job/job.

But this one time my check was late by 2 days, and I found out that the crippled mail-woman who delivered my mail had left her route to attend to a seizure one of her kids had after their dad was killed in an accident with flesh-eating bacteria while he was on a aid mission in Africa helping war orphans.

I had that biatch fired... so it worked out OK.

I once was delivering a mail route, despite my crippling medical issues, when one of my kids had a seizure....
.....
... some asshat customer complained and they fired me.

Best thing that ever happened to me; now I just sit around collecting my SS disability payment and posting on Fark.

Heck of a coincidence.

I finally inherited my full fortune some years ago, and found out the mail-woman was collecting Social Security! So I spent billions lobbying the government and bribing politicians to bankrupt Social Security to get her thrown off of it...

Won't be much longer...


WTH... Just got a letter today saying the government was discontinuing my SS Disability.

Drat... I guess I will have to go back to work for the postal service. Maybe not so bad. I always enjoyed throwing the mail for the rich bastards on my route into the dumpster.

In other good news, I read on Fark that the world is ending in 36 hours.... it's from Fark so its got to be right.
 
2012-02-26 08:23:13 PM  
Nudist Colony Activity Coordinator.
 
2012-02-26 08:26:28 PM  

Silly Jesus: Nudist Colony Activity Coordinator.


in a retirement community.
 
2012-02-26 08:28:12 PM  

gblive: ArmanTanzarian: gblive: ArmanTanzarian: I receive around $10,000/week from a trust fund set up by my great great grandfather... so I have never actually had a job/job.

But this one time my check was late by 2 days, and I found out that the crippled mail-woman who delivered my mail had left her route to attend to a seizure one of her kids had after their dad was killed in an accident with flesh-eating bacteria while he was on a aid mission in Africa helping war orphans.

I had that biatch fired... so it worked out OK.

I once was delivering a mail route, despite my crippling medical issues, when one of my kids had a seizure....
.....
... some asshat customer complained and they fired me.

Best thing that ever happened to me; now I just sit around collecting my SS disability payment and posting on Fark.

Heck of a coincidence.

I finally inherited my full fortune some years ago, and found out the mail-woman was collecting Social Security! So I spent billions lobbying the government and bribing politicians to bankrupt Social Security to get her thrown off of it...

Won't be much longer...

WTH... Just got a letter today saying the government was discontinuing my SS Disability.

Drat... I guess I will have to go back to work for the postal service. Maybe not so bad. I always enjoyed throwing the mail for the rich bastards on my route into the dumpster.

In other good news, I read on Fark that the world is ending in 36 hours.... it's from Fark so its got to be right.


Since we only have 36 hours left, then I propose to have my private jet come pick you up and we can just jet around the globe and party till the end.

I suppose I'll release the cures I suppressed for flesh-eating bacteria, stroke & physical disability now... what the heck?
 
2012-02-26 08:29:50 PM  
Piccadilly Cafeteria as a baker/pastry chef. The guy I worked under was such an ass with a major Napoleon complex.

Was there 45 minutes and told him to "Eat shiat and Fark Off."

/Worst 45 mins. of my life.
 
2012-02-26 08:30:34 PM  

Chupacabra Sandwich: I used to put up illegal signs by the highway in the middle of the night. I got things thrown at me, yelled at and accused of robbing a taxi cab, among other things.


Home-builder, or some other type of signs? What hours did you usually do installation? Did you also do take-down, or just leave them to rot?
 
2012-02-26 08:38:26 PM  
Detassling(sp) corn at 15. Got a huge rash cause of the pesticides. Just walked off at lunch when I couldn't do my job. All I could do was scratch and the guy in charge kept yelling at me that I wasn't doing my job. Seriously, fark him and that job.
 
2012-02-26 08:42:14 PM  

Cyclonic Cooking Action: One day I'm getting drunk with my now wife and cousin around noon.


So she was just your cousin before. Way to enhance the family bond!
 
2012-02-26 08:50:24 PM  

ArmanTanzarian: gblive: ArmanTanzarian: gblive: ArmanTanzarian: I receive around $10,000/week from a trust fund set up by my great great grandfather... so I have never actually had a job/job.

But this one time my check was late by 2 days, and I found out that the crippled mail-woman who delivered my mail had left her route to attend to a seizure one of her kids had after their dad was killed in an accident with flesh-eating bacteria while he was on a aid mission in Africa helping war orphans.

I had that biatch fired... so it worked out OK.

I once was delivering a mail route, despite my crippling medical issues, when one of my kids had a seizure....
.....
... some asshat customer complained and they fired me.

Best thing that ever happened to me; now I just sit around collecting my SS disability payment and posting on Fark.

Heck of a coincidence.

I finally inherited my full fortune some years ago, and found out the mail-woman was collecting Social Security! So I spent billions lobbying the government and bribing politicians to bankrupt Social Security to get her thrown off of it...

Won't be much longer...

WTH... Just got a letter today saying the government was discontinuing my SS Disability.

Drat... I guess I will have to go back to work for the postal service. Maybe not so bad. I always enjoyed throwing the mail for the rich bastards on my route into the dumpster.

In other good news, I read on Fark that the world is ending in 36 hours.... it's from Fark so its got to be right.

Since we only have 36 hours left, then I propose to have my private jet come pick you up and we can just jet around the globe and party till the end.

I suppose I'll release the cures I suppressed for flesh-eating bacteria, stroke & physical disability now... what the heck?


Sounds like the plan. We probably need to swing by Kentucky to pick up Drew in order to properly polish off the alcohol.

P.S. - Don't forget the cure for cancer so we don't have to see the "Still no cure for cancer" headline again.
 
2012-02-26 08:53:04 PM  
I worked at a medical research chemical manufacturer for a whack job in Atlanta who was so out of touch, he once had the chemist recrystalize a neuro-toxin and leave it out on the table in the warehouse to dry, basically exposing the entire staff to the stuff. He exclaimed "you could eat a pound of this stuff and you'd be fine". I think the skull and crossbones on the bag spoke otherwise... so, when it was time for me to finally walk away, I waited for my last paycheck (that paid me through that day), left to cash it at the bank (not deposit it, but cash it at the company's bank), and never returned. I faxed in a letter of resignation from my friends office on my way home. The funny thing is the chemist was walking out to her car to do the very same thing at the same time... totally unplanned by the two of us!!
 
2012-02-26 09:00:07 PM  

Trance750: FuryOfFirestorm: Picture it...Miami, August 2000. Lifting heavy boxes in a poorly ventilated, dusty warehouse for hours in +100* weather. Puked my guts out and nearly passed out.

I got the f*ck out without notice. No job is worth dying from heatstroke.

Must have been either UPS or Airborne Express. I have heard stories that will just turn your blood cold


I tried UPS for a month back in Summer 2003; the drivers were dicks and I started out loading one truck and then was given two more after the first week all while the line manager constantly hounded me for not keeping pace. I played it fair and turned in a notice. I'd hate to see what would have transpired had I felt compelled to stay.
 
2012-02-26 09:04:52 PM  
In 1985, I worked at a gas station on I-57. The town was so small, there was no police force. I worked third shift. Once, I had a guy threaten to cut my throat because I couldn't guess his age.

The only reason the gas station was open 24/7 was twice a month these convoys of people would come through. Supposedly, they picked up their welfare checks in Chicago, then drove to Milwaukee to get their checks there. Then, they had to drive to Memphis and be there within a certain time to get a third check. Don't know if that's true but twice a month, convoys would come through heading south. They just wanted gas and to use the bathroom and book. Supposedly, if they stopped at Effingham a few miles north with plenty of 24 hour gas stations, the police tended to harass them and make them late.

I was there about two months when a guy came in. It was the first time I had seen anyone with surgical staples and he had plenty of them. He told me he was the former employee and some guys had robbed him, thrown him in the trunk of the car and driven him down the Interstate a few miles where they beat him almost to death.

I may have waited until payday to quit since this guy had a bad habit of holding checks (beaten up guy warned me he was missing a check). The manager had to work the third that night.
 
2012-02-26 09:05:48 PM  

AntiNorm:
It's not just the customers, it's the management too. Management will treat you like sh*t, and customers will make you hate humanity. Bottom line is, if you value your sanity, never work at a call center.


I've got to disagree on this one. I recently finished a long-term temp job at the mostly-inbound call center for a major toy company (I won't name names, but they're not Mattel). It was a fantastic work environment. Coworkers were friendly and spirited, management was supportive and helpful. Generally speaking, the consumers who'd call with issues, even safety-related ones, were nice. The few fruitbats who called were generally more amusing than anything, and I got out of the job with my sanity intact.

I was in the running for a full-time position and would have taken it, but the slowest holiday season in 15+ years meant they didn't even have enough work for their permanent staff. Anyway, long story short: not every call center is hell.
 
2012-02-26 09:06:36 PM  
My wife once had a job at a small business where she had a lot of trouble getting paid. Unremarkable, you say? She was the company accountant.
 
2012-02-26 09:11:03 PM  

kemosabe: Detassling(sp) corn at 15. Got a huge rash cause of the pesticides. Just walked off at lunch when I couldn't do my job. All I could do was scratch and the guy in charge kept yelling at me that I wasn't doing my job. Seriously, fark him and that job.


There are many bad jobs listed amongst this thread, but only those who have spent any amount of time in a corn field know what a truly horrible job detasseling corn is. I don't live in the Midwest anymore, but when me and my friends talk jobs that we had when we were younger, they look at me like I am crazy when I tell them how I spent part of one summer. I will never forget how awful that was....
 
2012-02-26 09:11:55 PM  
My best Super Quit was the first time I quit via e-mail. It was Lotus ccMail and the Address book listed the Global Distribution first. I really had no idea what I was doing, but I sat down, selected the Global for the TO: and the Manager for the CC: and typed away.

The company had a 90 day probationary period and I was on day 89. So I told them what I thought of their job and hit "Send".

I was working in a remote data center. There was just two operators and a guard. I walked out to the guard, handed him my ID and started walking out. The phone on his desk started ringing and he tried to stop me but I just walked out.

Eventually, the new manager who had proved herself to be just as big an ass as the others called me and wanted me to come in and discuss it. I knew this was a trap since they liked to escort people through the whole building to make it look like they fired you. I offered to meet her across the street from the main office but she declined. I told her "I knew you just wanted to walk me through the building and make it look like you guys won."
 
2012-02-26 09:13:27 PM  

Pattuq: Marysue: I Said: Marysue

Paris Hilton is rich. Tesla died poor. Just sayin.

Guess which one you remind me of.

If you have something to say, why not get involved in the conversation instead of sitting back making smug one-line comments?


He's probably got a list of them he printed off a chan site or something.
 
2012-02-26 09:21:39 PM  
Wall o' text warning:

Years ago I worked at a shiat job many miles from my residence. This was a small town area, and work was in the town next to the next town over. Every day I'd drive the same route down the same highway at the same time to get to the office and back.

An employee in the next section over, totally unbeknownst to me, was my neighbor. He lived across the intersection from me. So every day at five I'd drive along next to or behind him, matching him turn for turn for turn until he went left to his home and I went right to mine. He could have looked out his window and seen me park in my driveway, go up to my door and go inside.

But of course he did no such thing. Instead he went to his boss, pointed me out, and said 'That guy's stalking me; find out what his problem is before I call the police.'. And his boss went to my boss and we all went to their boss and this neighbor and co-employee was consequently fired. (Though as I understand things, this had little to do with his performance or (obvious) personal issues and more to do with the fact that he'd worked there for nearly a year. More about that in a moment.)

And then I got to go home every day for six months knowing he lived less than 500 feet from me. As it turned out, his idea of getting me back was to make prank phone calls every evening. I was relieved to finally lose that shiat job and move away.

This incident was merely the most ludicrous among many, and those were all just the whipped fudge topping on the shiat sundae that was this job and the company attached to it. It was simply the most toxic corporate culture I've ever seen. The field was insurance adjusting - normally a job for licensed professionals, but this organization skirted regulations by hiring temps and people off the street, letting them work under the 'supervision' of a licensed soulless husk, and cutting them loose before the law required that they be licensed themselves, and thus employable in a legitimate adjuster's office at four times what this outfit was willing to pay. Thus the corporate body consisted of a frothy ever-churning sea of drifters, druggies, ex-cons and hopeless losers, overseen by a tight cadre of maddened cultists, with a thin scrum of sad and broken middle-management shells caught in between. Making matters even more dysfunctional, they were a wholly owned subsidiary of their sole client, for whom they handled premises, auto, work comp and criminal insurance claims nationwide.

I saw the writing on the wall quickly enough, myself. On the last Friday of my tenth month there, with the license exam training sessions already scheduled, I was yanked off my terminal and sat down between two braying jackals. They had all manner of insights as to my performance and my character, but they were most keen on two phone calls made from my desk over the last two months, totalling less than three minutes length. This was, of course, theft, and worse! Criminally actionable. They wanted me to know how grave a matter this was, so they sent me home for a 'decision day', so I could make up my mind that I was really serious about their happyslappy corporate cult. They seemed genuinely shocked when I told them I wanted nothing more than never to see any of them again.

I think I was terribly accommodating. I even stayed to fill out their insipid 'exit interview' form. In the comments I left them a nice Shakespeare quote.

I have now found thee; when I lose thee again, I care not.
Yet art thou good for nothing but taking up; and that thou't scarce worth.


It's from All's Well That Ends Well.
 
2012-02-26 09:24:41 PM  

scott88008: Sidetrack: artofpeace: I typed out a response to this, then changed my mind and deleted it. And now that this thread is green I am super glad I had the good sense to not post. I hate it when random threads go green.

whoops, it sure did... lucky you. I wasn't that smart

What are you people even talking about? Is Totalfark some sort of secret cult?


HE KNOWS TOO MUCH
 
2012-02-26 09:25:04 PM  
I worked for my uncle and aunt taking care of the irrigation systems. We didn't have enough people to keep the pumps running and those things broke down in the heat all the farking time. So we hired a couple illegals and it was my job to get them cleaned up and settled in. I told my uncle that I needed to get some power adapters in town, but he told me that I better have the new guys ready to work in the morning. When I went to check on them, the short one had run away and it was my job to hunt him down.

The tall guy, Chico, helped me track him down but we got jumped by a local gang. Chico got banged up pretty badly. That was the last straw. I got lucky that one of our neighbors from the hills scared them off and helped us get out of there.

When I got back I was all set to quit, but I found out that the police had been by and raided the place and closed it for good.

Getting off Tatooine was the best thing that every happened to me.
 
2012-02-26 09:37:02 PM  
I forgot to list a worst ever job, so here goes:
Actually the WORST job I ever had was a second job moonlighting as a bill collector.
Not just any bill collector mind you, this outfit specialized in collecting from people who were the next of kin of people who had died at a large trauma center in a big city.
I knew pretty quick I was gonna hate this job because the "old hands" there seemed like people who might have somebody chained in their basement to torture when kicking the dog was not enough.
The idea was to let "debtors" know that we had checked and the dearly departed didn't have insurance, and inform them that they were responsible for the hospital bill.
These bills were usually in excess of $500,000.00, we were supposed to get the next of kin to pay us at least $150.00 a month, or as we'd threaten, we would file in court and own everything they ever dreamed of owning (if they'd payed us 25 cents then we were legally entitled to go forward with further harassment.
Most of these were poor, or work for wages folks...they didn't have the money, and to my twisted mind they shouldn't have to pay since their loved one had died.
One day I called this older black woman, and I guess I sounded like some really evil person, because she started crying, and said she would send $50.00 a month but she was helping her daughter out by raising three grandchildren, so she was afraid some months she just wouldn't have it (her bill was close to a million dollars).
I told her, "no ma'am, don't you worry about it anymore, I'm going to take care of it."
From that day, till I got fired/quit/ I'd listen to people who just plain couldn't make any payments...fixed income...widowed with a bunch of kids, in foreclosure...you know, dire straits....yeah, I'd get some people to pay 25 or 50 bucks a month, and to that agency that was considered successful.
I kind of liked telling the ones who got really shook up because they'd have paid if they'd had anything to pay just to forget about the debt, and I'd slip the call record, and the originating documents into my briefcase, and delete the master record of the account from the agency's computer (all the agents had full access to records both physical and electronic).
I felt kinda like Paladin. I was making a difference. I was doing what my conscious told me was right.
Finally one of the guys that would listen in every now and then to make sure we were doing our level best to drive these poor people batty with our insistence that we knew they bought dope, or booze, or had a pretty nice car we could get (we couldn't really) anyway, one of those guys heard me tell a debtor not to worry about it because I'd take care of it.
Into the briefcase went the paper records, and the file was deleted from our mainframe right from my desk (they had crappy little offices, lousy coffee too, and everything was painted a pea green that made me wanna puke).
Anyway, all three shift supervisors come to my office and grabbed the stack of files off my desk, grabbed the current call cards, and yanked my network plug. Then one of them said I want to look in your brief case, so I did the only honorable thing, I told him he needed to get back to the circle jerk with Curly and Moe because I was finished, done, through, and I was leaving. Two of the supervisors attempted to block my way out of my office and discovered that a Showcase briefcase makes one hell of a weapon when applied edge on to the face. Anyway, they called the cops and told them I'd assaulted three of their employees, and they "suspected" I'd mishandled some files. The cops called me at home and got my end of the story, they asked if I had mishandled any files in any way which might be detrimental to the agency's business, I laughed and said no, I was working what was called "dead" files where the company didn't really have any right to try to collect from the people we were calling, and also the cases were also considered dead paper because our investigations showed the people we were contacting to generally be impoverished, on fixed income, or working at minimum wage jobs, my only responsibility was to call these people and threaten actions against them we would not take because it really is impossible to get blood from a turnip. If I could get the "debtor" to pay any sum at all they stayed in the system, if not I had full authority to declare the debt "not collectable nor actionable", and had full latitude as to the final disposition of the case (I did but usually they bundled them and sold the debts to some other bunch of buzards). I told the detective that I'd told the supervisor I quit, and he'd come into my office with two other supervisors and attempted to deny me the right to remove my own possessions from my office, and they'd attempted to wrest my briefcase from me, failing this they'd attempted to restrict my leaving in a physical manner, so I was forced to defend myself, and only reacted physically to their attempting to manhandle and restrain me from leaving. The police detective was very nice and said he understood how a person could get their fill of working for those vultures, thanked me for my time, and said he seriously doubted I'd be contacted again concerning this matter. The detective also said he would inform them that in attempting to restrain me, to keep me from leaving they had committed kidnapping, and false imprisonment and both were felonies. That must have rattled them, because they called and told me I would receive 2 months severance pay, If I'd sign an agreement not to press charges against them, and return it by mail upon receiving my check. I'd only worked there a little over a month, so it worked out pretty sweet, I hated the job, I hated my co-workers, I hated everything about the company.
I'd treat you all to the name of the agency in question but they could probably sue me.
 
2012-02-26 09:42:44 PM  

Thai_Mai_Xhu: I forgot to list a worst ever job, so here goes:
Actually the WORST job I ever had was a second job moonlighting as a bill collector.
Not just any bill collector mind you, this outfit specialized in collecting from people who were the next of kin of people who .


Awesome story, really! But......wouldn't the parties owed the original debt just file with other companies to collect the debts that were "misplaced" by you?
/genuinely ignorant to how this actually works.
 
2012-02-26 09:45:38 PM  

Plinth:

Getting off Tatooine was the best thing that every happened to me.


Had me going right up until the end.

Only "super quit" I ever really had was calling my boss up and letting him know that every time he left town to go to "Regional Meetings" ( a weeks worth of golf, booze, and hookers on the company dime each quarter) I was sleeping with his wife.

/I didn't get a good reference...
 
2012-02-26 09:46:28 PM  
Lsherm

While your company sounded like the worst company ever, you sounded like the worst employee ever.

I mean, really, you're the worst employee ever. If you were thinking about being that lazy all the time, you were terrible. Your employer was terrible, but you weren't any better. Who the fark was paying you people?


I do so love being called lazy by someone who never worked in the hellhole I did.

Was there 10 years under three subcontractors and went from driver to manager in three. Even when the last subcontractor took over and installed his own manager, I was regulated to assistant. That means basically, I was on call 24/7.

On one day, I recorded the mileage for my route and came up with 350 miles. I drove through 4 cities. I arrived usually about a half hour before everyone else and printed out the route lists, checked the arrival time of the aircraft and readied the little POS station we had. It was a moldy, leaky old building on the airport. We rented what was the front office. The back offices, once used to train prospective pilots, were abandoned, leaky, smelly and easy to break into.

Since the subcontractor was always biatching about money, I would go into these offices and steal fluorescent lights from fixtures to replace those burnt out in our section. I also rigged up a sorting light at the sorting table in the old hanger section at my expense because the subcontractor refused to pay and Airborne Express said it wasn't their problem.

I usually left about half an hour after the last employee. Meaning I'd get there at 7:30 AM and leave at about 8:00 PM. (I got paid for 8 hours only.)

We often stored several hundred thousand dollars of freight there between Saturday and Monday -- behind a cheap door with a padlock that anyone could kick in without having to go through the office. No alarm systems.

I ran the computers also, especially the system which downloaded our scanners and reloaded them for the next day. Periodically I had to reboot the system since it all had been salvaged from other bases of Airborne and recycled to us.

I originally set up every route in two of the three cities we covered. I also had to push sales and managed to get 150 new customers. BTW. I was manager without the authority to fire anyone. That kind of eroded my authority.

I drove and delivered as manager and had to complete the managerial duties also. I delivered during two hurricanes. I got into 5 accidents (none charged to me) while employed there, with one almost landing me in the hospital. Since we were on timed routes, we were always pressured to move faster -- harassed over the van radios. The rule of thumb for Airborne was to harass drivers until they quit or failed, and THEN approve the subcontractor adding another van and route.

In the area the company covered, in 10 years, I outlasted over 2000 employees.

At times, I did minor repairs to the vans for the drivers to keep them from getting biatched at over down time. I supplied the first aid kit and replenished it out of my own pocket.

Several times, on weekends, on my day off, I had to go in and run routes because drivers did not show up. At other times, while off, I carried a radio (no cells at that time) and directed drivers from home.

If a driver screwed up, I got biatched at. Several times I had to try and track down missing freight that I was sure a driver just tossed in a ditch because the delivery was so far out.

We had shipping tags on our outgoing bags of freight -- which were tied with string. If the crew at the main hub ripped one off and lost it, the subcontractor got charged hundreds for Airborne having to special ship the freight. I devised a better way by using a big, black marker to write the codes on the bags themselves. Freight losses dropped.

After I left, they abandoned the idea.

In the rush to sort, mark and get the freight on the aircraft to ship to the hub, errors happened. Someone might drop an envelope into the wrong bag. The subcontractor got charged for this. He could charge the employee whose route the freight was from -- even if someone else accidentally dropped it in the wrong bag.

The fee was about $100.

We couldn't drink the water at the station. It was bad. I had to discover this and warn everyone else. The bathroom, from the moldy back section, was a mess. I spent two hours after work scrubbing it clean with bleach for an inspection which never came -- and nearly gassing myself in the process.

No account was ever taken into consideration for time loss due to storms, heavy traffic, road repair or the occasional customer that was so far out that he was nearly in the next state.

One customer of mine was 10 miles out of my area, with 5 being on a dirt and clay grove road. I usually hit about 70 getting out there and 60 flying down that damn dirt road.

When I finished my route, it was kind of expected to go and help other drivers if they were close enough.

BTW, I delivered the high crime, ghetto area because I was the manager and figured it was my job to protect the other drivers. That means I frequently hopped out of my van and had to run into 'da projects'.

I made a maximum of $10.85 an hour. No insurance. Every year I got the same bonus as the drivers, $100.00.

I was so used to stress pains in my chest that, on my last year there, I had a heart attack and didn't know it. I just kept on delivering. Later I caught pneumonia and was required by my Dr. to take two weeks off. I was forced back to work after 1, which meant instead of getting rid of the disease in two weeks, it lasted 6.

I was also biatched at because for the first several days back I was weak and slow.

So, yeah, I'm lazy. I'm a BAAAAD BOY for tearing up the subcontractor's equipment.

I discovered I'd had the heart attack after I was fired. A Dr. checked me when I complained of irregular heart beats.

Today, I'm still paying for that decade of being an overnight courier with Airborne Express.
 
2012-02-26 10:24:31 PM  
My worst job was being a bankruptcy lawyer. I was paid less than most of the clients I was meeting with yet I worked 10 hour days, six days a week. No overtime of course and I had to pay for all my continuing education and expensive bar fees. A call center in another state would do all the advertising and then schedule appointments, often a ridiculous number in one day like 13. They regularly conflicted with court hearings I had scheduled. The management constantly threatened to fire me and the other attorneys for not signing up enough clients. Most clients were poor people who fell on hard times but 10% had some scheme going on that they lied about and they would make my life hell. They would get caught and then would routinely blame us and file frivolous bar complaints. The firm had a strict policy against refunds which didn't help. Someone even tried to sue me one time.

When the other attorney in my office left, they told me they weren't going to hire someone else and refused to raise my pay because a client complained I was late to a court hearing. It was their call center's crappy scheduling that caused that. Given that I was already overwhelmed, I emailed my two week resignation. The management threatened to sue me if I left in two weeks. Apparently there was some slavery clause buried in the massive contract they had me sign when I first started working there that said they could terminate me at will but I had to give sixty days notice before I leave. They told me they had access to lawyers and had sued ex-employees before. I couldn't afford to get sued by them so I just sucked it up, did the best I could under the circumstances. The firm was too cheap to hire someone experienced to replace me and also too cheap to have two people working at once so they basically let someone take over a crushing load of work with only a week worth of experience.
 
2012-02-26 10:52:08 PM  

olddinosaur: basemetal: Oh yeah, roughnecking was not only dirty, it was farking dangerous.

THIS. Been there, done that.

I worked stayed drunk at Halliburton in a chickenshirt one-horse redneck town where everyone was a drunk and the boss was the biggest alcoholic of all. He came in drunk and fired me, since I was the only one who could run the office, that was a bad move.

I took reciepts for $100,000 worth of cementing work (this was 1974, it would be about $500,000 today) and flipped them out the window of my car as I drove back to my home town, and I also used Halliburton's PO Box as my own for my personal mail. When I filled out my change of address card, the company's mail was diverted to my new address; things were screwed up for months, I was glad to be of service.

As drunk a they all were, I doubt they noticed.

When I worked at Baroid I was carrying a whole division on my shoulders, doing the work of about three men for the pay of less than one. I got plenty sick of it and told them to go get screwed right out of the blue---the whole division went into a state of collapse, the rest of he people could not pick up the slack.

The boss I worked for died of a heart attack at only 61, precipitated by job stress, and the assistant boss got killed in a drunken fight about nothing, and the man who did it was never indicted because 11 witnesses said it was self defense. I would add, good riddance; he deserved it.

Stay out of the oil field, it will drive you crazy fast, and the money is not worth it.


It was amazing how many people were drunk, stoned or demerold up and how there were not more injuries. It helped pay for school, but I'm glad i got out with all of my fingers intact.

/I've wondered how it is now with the meth everywhere
 
2012-02-26 10:52:43 PM  
No shiatty jobs other than general labour dude.

BUT, one of my first jobs was cold calling people to see if they wanted carpet cleaning. We had a "one month special" that lasted the 4-5 months I was there. The company was owned by a crook and most of the other employees there were juvenile delinquents on work release programs. As call center guys our job was to try to get potential customers to allow us to send a crew to their houses for a "free estimate"... these guys would really lean on people, especially the old and lonely. Regardless of whether you agreed to get your carpets cleaned or not, what really happened was that your house got cased by professional criminals, and at some point later, if you had anything worth stealing, it would get stolen. I got fired from the job because me and some of the juvies convinced the manager that instead of phoning people, we should be sent out to deliver flyers door to door... we would throw the flyers away and just drive around smoking dope for several hours before heading back to the office to punch out. Eventually they got wise to us.
 
2012-02-26 11:10:47 PM  
Worst job I ever worked was at a small family owned nursery outside of Philly. For too many reasons to mention here, we ended up living in the city, and this was the only place I could find in my field. It was an hour and fifteen minute drive. Each way. Add onto that, a car with no AC, 12 hour + days, so busy I didn't have time to pee and physical labour on my feet lifting things non-stop through Philadelphia's sweltering summers.

Add an a-hole boss who micromanaged and threw things and swore at employees, and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Let's see what else... I worked at a Botanical Gardens... that was ok, except that we had no funding for a janitor. So whenever someone puked, or decided to flush their super maxi pad down the toilet, yours truly was there to dig it out.

Super quit moment was when I lived in NYC and worked at a Timothy's. The AC broke down, and it was summer- we were dripping sweat. I took my bowtie off to get some air and lasted about 5 minutes before the manager told me to put it back on. Told him to fark off, and left.
 
2012-02-26 11:14:22 PM  
I'm late and no one will read this, but... my wife-at-the-time and I had a baby. He was stillborn. Boss-at-the-time called the hospital room. Thinking she was wishing us well, a friend handed the phone to us.

Boss proceeded to rant about how I needed to come back in to work because no one knew how to do my job. I stared at the phone in disbelief, then said "Um, I'm holding a dead baby right now."

She said "That's fine, but you need to think about how *I* feel."

I left, wrote a factual-without-emotion letter to the Pres.,, she was fired.
 
2012-02-26 11:16:43 PM  

Thai_Mai_Xhu: I forgot to list a worst ever job, so here goes:


Now that, that was a cool story bro. Awesome.
 
2012-02-26 11:38:37 PM  

DanInKansas: pisceandreamer: Working for a total sociopath at a non-profit.

I spent 15 years in non-profit fundraising. One of the reasons I'm no longer a leftist is all of the frickin' lunatics and sadists I met while doing that. Anyone have any theories about why NPOs and NGOs attract the "I'm only doing this until I learn how to commit unsolvable murders" crowd?


I can't tell you that, as you already know too much.

--Dexter
 
2012-02-26 11:42:49 PM  

MagSeven: Thai_Mai_Xhu: I forgot to list a worst ever job, so here goes:
Actually the WORST job I ever had was a second job moonlighting as a bill collector.
Not just any bill collector mind you, this outfit specialized in collecting from people who were the next of kin of people who .

Awesome story, really! But......wouldn't the parties owed the original debt just file with other companies to collect the debts that were "misplaced" by you?
/genuinely ignorant to how this actually works.


Debt of this manner isn't usually subcontracted to collect, it is outright sold. The original debtor (the hospital) sells the debt to the collector for somewhere between five and ten cents on the dollar. Then they're done - they write off the rest of the debt as a business expense. From then on, it is sold back and forth between various collection agencies until it finally disappears or is forgotten.
 
2012-02-26 11:48:23 PM  

Hankie Fest: I'm late and no one will read this, but...


You suck, you're wrong, I read it.

Wow. Holy shiat. Awesome she got canned. I'd say you handled that right.
 
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