Oom bow bow, chick chick chickichikaw, oom bow bow

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

ecmoRandomNumbers: That's when local drifter Steven Thaxton, one of the two patrons in the bar at the time, stepped in.

Local drifter? Is that a thing? Does he just drift within a certain radius?

It's the selenium.

I saw the pic and LOL'd.

baronbloodbath: When they threw him in the police cruiser, did he get to ride shotgun?

Nah, he lost shotgun when one of the other two guys took it from him in the parking lot.

It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out. What's that contest for worst first sentence in a novel?

buzzcut73: See, a perfect example of how gun owners both commit crimes with their instruments of death and how they are more likely to be turned on the firearm owner and used against them.

Wow. Now that is a farking amazing troll right there.

Todd Margaret nods knowingly.

Somewhere, a reporter wants to get the fark out of West Virginia.

dobro: It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out. What's that contest for worst first sentence in a novel?

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (new window)

ecmoRandomNumbers: That's when local drifter Steven Thaxton, one of the two patrons in the bar at the time, stepped in.

Local drifter? Is that a thing? Does he just drift within a certain radius?

Came in ask this. "Local drifter" sounds like an oxymoron.

buzzcut73: See, a perfect example of how gun owners both commit crimes with their instruments of death and how they are more likely to be turned on the firearm owner and used against them.

10/10
Bravo, good sir. May I commend you on the most excellent post.

Damn the really did a number on his face

LadySusan: I actually registered at their stupid site and posted a comment to compliment the writer. Excellently written article. Loved it.

That it from West by Ghawd Virginia, is amazing.

IP: dobro: It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out. What's that contest for worst first sentence in a novel?

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (new window)

I prefer the Lyttle Lyton contest as the entries are more concise with a bit more punch.

/Biased because I got an HM years ago.
//Haven't written anything gooder since.

ecmoRandomNumbers: That's when local drifter Steven Thaxton, one of the two patrons in the bar at the time, stepped in.

Local drifter? Is that a thing? Does he just drift within a certain radius?

A mysterious drifter confronts and defeats an armed robber?

That's... kinda badass. John effin' Wayne, man.

I'm putting "local drifter" on my business cards.

ecmoRandomNumbers: Local drifter? Is that a thing?

OH yes it is.
Preferred location in my area are the Cape, in MA, Westerly, RI, and Burlington, VT.
Although, Burlington is where my driftin' days came to an end.
You meet a lot of interesting people from all spectrums driftin'
We even have a code.

Subby's headline + Peter Gunn theme = Movie.

/+1

Local drifter.

vudukungfu: ecmoRandomNumbers: Local drifter? Is that a thing?

OH yes it is.
Preferred location in my area are the Cape, in MA, Westerly, RI, and Burlington, VT.
Although, Burlington is where my driftin' days came to an end.
You meet a lot of interesting people from all spectrums driftin'
We even have a code.

I want to party with you, Cowboy.

Not in a gay way. Like Vikings.

/bet you have some interesting stories.

jfarkinB: Somewhere, a reporter wants to get the fark out of West Virginia.

I dunno about that. Charleston is still a two newspaper town. And the stories there are real colorful.

The shotgun Beane, 58, had wielded in his attempt to rob the bar was in pieces. Two patrons had wrestled the weapon from him and, according to prosecutors, used it to repeatedly club the would-be robber while they waited for police to arrive at the scene.


HAHAHHAAHHAHAH...GASP...HAHHHAAHHAHAAHAH...THUD.

dv-ous: A mysterious drifter confronts and defeats an armed robber?

That's... kinda badass. John effin' Wayne, man.

More like "Hobo with a Shotgun," but I see what you're going for.

ecmoRandomNumbers: RoyBatty: ecmoRandomNumbers: That's when local drifter Steven Thaxton, one of the two patrons in the bar at the time, stepped in.

Local drifter? Is that a thing? Does he just drift within a certain radius?

It's the selenium.

I had no idea what that meant. So I looked it up.


Really? I'm curious if you found anything relevant. I cannot believe my reference could easily be looked up by googling selenium alone, and since this is FARK, it's clearly not obscure. So I'm curious if you found anything that justifies at all my statement.

Nerd.

Yes, and worse, I'm an old school nerd, not the sexy new kind. :(

Everything about this article brought great cheer to me on this day.

FarkinHostile: bet you have some interesting stories.

I ever tell yo how I met Tony "psycho" Perkins up on Cape Cod?

Or how I could tell that guy trying to pick a fight with me at "Friendlys" was packing a gun?

Or how I met up with Ali McGraw for the second time in 5 years and we played a prank on my coworkers?

I remember the first time I was beaten with my own shotgun in front of the sportsbar...I was 19..I cried and cried. It was the worst thing to ever happen to me in my life.
there is a reason there are sportbars near sportsbars...

/you gonna eat that?
//white trash gets what white trash deserves
///guns don't beat people...etc

They beat his face with the shotgun until it broke into pieces.

RoyBatty: the selenium.

Are you referring to the current in a selenium photovoltaic cell which varies with time even if constant conditions be maintained? Like whether the initial change of current is a decrease or an increase seeming to be independent of the particular type of cell but really determined by the wave-length of the incident radiation and possibly also in certain cases by the temperature of the cell?

Don't wake up in a roadside ditch...

TravisBickle62: Damn the really did a number on his face

The WHAT really did a number on his face?

What a local drifter might look like:

vudukungfu: RoyBatty: the selenium.

Are you referring to the current in a selenium photovoltaic cell which varies with time even if constant conditions be maintained? Like whether the initial change of current is a decrease or an increase seeming to be independent of the particular type of cell but really determined by the wave-length of the incident radiation and possibly also in certain cases by the temperature of the cell?

Yeah so googling selenium and drift found me that.

Nah, I was just referring to this classic:

Runaround

By Isaac Asimov


It was one of Gregory Powell's favorite platitudes that nothing was to be gained from excitement, so when Mike Donovan came leaping down the stairs toward him, red hair matted with perspiration, Powell frowned.

"What's wrong?" he said. "Break a fingernail?"

"Yaaaah," snarled Donovan, feverishly. "What have you been doing in the sublevels all day?" He took a deep breath and blurted out, "Speedy never returned."

Powell's eyes widened momentarily and he stopped on the stairs; then he recovered and resumed his upward steps. He didn't speak until he reached the head of the flight, and then:

"You sent him after the selenium?"

buzzcut73: See, a perfect example of how gun owners both commit crimes with their instruments of death and how they are more likely to be turned on the firearm owner and used against them.

Bravo
[slowclap.jpg]

Micronaut: They beat his face with the shotgun until it broke into pieces.

And the shotgun broke first. That's a tough face.

RoyBatty: Runaround

By Isaac Asimov


Oh.

Dammit, I'm sooooooo dumb, sometimes.

Best.Lead.Ever

And here I was thinking that this was one of the better written thread titles I'd ever seen on Fark, and that it would be good form to compliment Subby.

And then I read TFA...