If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The New York Times)   Finally verified: Single people don't get lonely, they just get weirder and weirder as time goes on   (nytimes.com) divider line 169
    More: Obvious, single people  
•       •       •

8733 clicks; posted to Geek » on 25 Feb 2012 at 12:56 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



169 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-02-25 02:15:33 PM
After about 10 years living by myself, I've recently taken up with a Newfoundlander. In Newfoundland. I _think_ I'm getting the hang of it, but the 10 years lack of experience/forgetting is proving a bit strange. My last cohabiting relationship was during my student days, when life was considerably free-er, as you can imaging/remember, and I can't quite tell whether I'm bringing the wrong sort of goods to the party. I wash up, clean, scrape the snow away, get the drill out and put things on walls, walk/feed/pet her dogs, and generally make sure she gets enough alone time to be herself. This seems to consist of watching TLC programming (but hell; I'm on Fark...).

Strangely, this doesn't seem to be enough at the moment. I suspect that because I'm doing all these cohabity things without complaint or argument, it's somehow getting on her nerves.

Hm.
 
2012-02-25 02:16:42 PM
In the fourteen years since I graduated college, I've lived with a roommate or a girlfriend for about 4.5 years in total. I bought a big ass house where I am now and it's great. I agree with a previous comment about "don't touch my stuff." I had a roommate for about six months last year and she was constantly messing with my stuff and not in a good way.

I would postulate that people who live alone were probably weird to begin with, but that's ok. I like the freedom of knowing there is a place I can go back to without any drama. If I forget to write something down on my grocery list right before I'm going to take a shower, I can take care of it naked. If I don't feel like cleaning the toilet, I can leave it funky. If I want to make up obscene lyrics to songs I've recently heard, there's no one to tell me to shut up. I get to keep my own schedule and I don't have to worry about cleaning up after anyone else.

I think a strong distinction could be made between being alone and living alone.
 
2012-02-25 02:17:48 PM
If I've reached the point where I can support myself enough to live alone, and don't have any trouble maintaining my living space, why in hell would I want someone to move in and cramp my steez?
 
2012-02-25 02:24:27 PM
I forgot to mention that, after living alone for a bit, it can be tough adjusting to being around other people at home. "Oh, I can't crap with the door open? My bad."
 
2012-02-25 02:27:00 PM

Rusty Shackleford: [www.kitwood.com image 500x275]

There's nothing weird about having WWI shell casings around the house.

Now, if I walked around naked singing Whitney Houston songs to them, that would be weird. But I don't see that happening. Never liked her music.


Hey, I have a couple of those. Not as deeply embossed, tho.
 
2012-02-25 02:32:36 PM

CapnBlues: I was alone, slightly drunk, naked, and eating hardboiled eggs over the sink, shaking salt and pepper over them and washing them down with water that I drank directly from the tap.


Is that not normal?
 
2012-02-25 02:40:01 PM
As someone who lives alone, works from home, and also talks to himself in foreign languages around the house, I'm getting a kick...

/ as my cat looks at me strangely for chuckling.
 
2012-02-25 02:44:55 PM
Well, I guess that means I'm screwed. I've been on the road for work for the last year. Let my brother move in while I was gone. Came home and after 2 weeks, I was getting easily aggitated. When they called me to go to San Francisco, I felt like I won the lottery.

Which was weird cause I never really saw him. ALL HE DOES is stay in his room and play Star Wars: TOR (he has mental problems and he'll never function right in society or on his own.) I guess I just didn't like having someone around.

/ I'm so screwed
// meh
 
2012-02-25 02:47:08 PM
A man alone will die like an ember pulled from a fire.
 
2012-02-25 02:47:36 PM
couples just coalesce into a whole new meta-weird
 
2012-02-25 02:48:56 PM
I've lived alone for about ten years now, and I love it. I've always been a bit independent I suppose, and it's nice to know that if something breaks in the apartment I can probably fix it. As a matter of fact, I'm more handy around the house than a lot of the men I know. But I have a lot of friends who are the opposite: they've never lived alone, and some are stuck in loveless marriages that they won't leave for fear of not having someone with them all the time. I can't help but think my independent streak is a bit healthier in the long run.
 
2012-02-25 02:49:10 PM
And what, pray tell, is weird about putting on one-man morality plays for Mr. and Mrs. Milkbottle and their youngest, Yogurtpot?
 
2012-02-25 02:50:06 PM
I think the trick is to maintain at least a somewhat active social life outside of your cave.

The first ten years I lived alone, I loved it except for the occasional short-term bout of angst. Then I moved to another state, and for complicated reasons that wouldn't really add much to this conversation, I became increasingly isolated. It'll be 15 years this summer, and what was once soothing solitude is slowly but surely becoming corrosive loneliness.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

/Cats do help a lot. I miss mine like crazy (they made it to 17 and 19), but it's too soon to get another.
//*sigh*
 
2012-02-25 02:51:48 PM

gaslight: I think anyone who's lived alone for many years develops a "don't touch my stuff" mentality.


When I moved out of my parents' house, the most fascinating change was the experience of coming home every day to find that every single thing was exactly where I left it. Sure that means the dirty dishes have also stayed in the sink, but there is definitely a thrill in knowing that nobody touches your stuff.

OTOH I have gone through times when my apartment was an absolute farking mess, because it didn't need to be organized for anyone else. The only time I would seriously make it look nice was when I was about to go out on the road, because I'd have someone watching it for me. Eventually I spent so much time on the road that I would only be home for a few weeks at a time. Knowing I'd have to clean up again so soon, it was more efficient to just not let things get messy in the first place. I began to enjoy how much bigger and nicer my apartment felt when it was clean, and the habit stuck. I've been home almost a whole year straight, and I still keep everything very clean. I'm really glad I was able to break that habit of the single person's housekeeping mentality, but I think it took a lot of living in hotels and temporary apartments to get me out of the "this is my stuff and I'll leave it wherever I want" mindset.
 
2012-02-25 02:54:16 PM
I'm the world's biggest introvert so you'd think I'd like being single. But if the wife goes anywhere for more than 36 hours, I completely fall apart. Forget to eat or brush my teeth, stay up until 3am. Yeah I'd go bonkers if I was single.
 
2012-02-25 02:55:28 PM

lake_huron: [graphics8.nytimes.com image 600x380]

You'd hit it.
Maybe.
I guess.
If there was nothing good on TV.


I can multitask.

Anyway, having lived alone for the last 4 years the naked thing comes into play. And that is not a good thing. Most of the time it is laziness. When my parents came down a couple of weeks ago I had to put away all the Christmas wrapping paper that was still on my dining room table.
 
2012-02-25 02:57:09 PM
Yeah, first you're like "I'm not spending over a 100 bucks on some unpainted, unassembled toys for big kids, and has comboluted rules". Next thing you know, you just bought and entire Death Company set, over 200$ dollars in paint and brushes, and you start arguing the nuanses of a sweeping advance.
 
2012-02-25 02:59:07 PM
And my grammar sucks.
 
2012-02-25 03:00:46 PM
If I lived with someone else they would probably complain about the half gnawed body parts in the refrigerator. It is simply easier being single and not having to worry about sharing.
 
2012-02-25 03:11:51 PM
I had a coworker who lived alone for decades and hadn't been in a relationship for longer than that. Once she told me she got massages just so she could feel human touch. Her version of "good morning" was a huge depressed sigh. Anyone doing anything seemed to personally offend her. If someone in the office laughed or was having fun, she'd sigh loudly and mutter, "shut up, shut the fark up, GOD!" to herself repeatedly. She loved her cats, but HATED kids, even telling me once she'd stop being my friend if I had kids.

I live alone and have been single for a few years (lots of dates, no keepers). I am so scared I'm going to become my old coworker - bitter, angry, alone and dependent on dildos.

I need a hug. :(
 
2012-02-25 03:17:16 PM
I just sit in front of my computer all the time.
 
2012-02-25 03:18:51 PM

ciderczar: And what, pray tell, is weird about putting on one-man morality plays for Mr. and Mrs. Milkbottle and their youngest, Yogurtpot?


i105.photobucket.com
 
2012-02-25 03:21:36 PM
Maybe it's just me, but I have always felt more lonely in relationships than when I'm actually alone.

I work with people all day and I really enjoy being able to disconnect from *everyone* and have time to think, enjoy silence, and have some peace.

Dated and lived with girlfriends over the years. Was married for a while. I don't plan on living with anyone again.

I've never been happier and more content than I am now.

"Alone" and "lonely" are different words for a reason.
 
2012-02-25 03:31:51 PM

singdizzy:

I need a hug. :(


i105.photobucket.com
 
2012-02-25 03:34:12 PM
Forever alone. Forever weird. And fine with it.
 
2012-02-25 03:40:12 PM
Well, there's the Leaning Tower of Pizza Boxes out on the porch. As this might one day make a beautifully appointed high rise condominium for mice, I'll take it down before it gets over 10 or 11 stories. When that time comes, I sneak out of my apartment at 4:30 AM, clutching an obnoxiously large cube of greasy cardboard rectangles wrapped in an industrial-sized garbage bag, and quietly toss it in the dumpster.
 
2012-02-25 03:40:39 PM
Couldn't read past "millenniums." Really NYT? Really?
 
2012-02-25 03:42:08 PM

singdizzy: I had a coworker who lived alone for decades...
I need a hug. :(


.
 
2012-02-25 03:43:11 PM

lethological_lassie: singdizzy: I had a coworker who lived alone for decades...
I need a hug. :(

.


I put a "hug" in that comment but it didn't show. So now you get 2. :)
 
2012-02-25 03:43:37 PM
People are strange when you're a stranger
Faces look ugly when you're alone
Women seem wicked when you're unwanted
Streets are uneven when you're down

When you're strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you're strange
No one remembers your name
When you're strange
When you're strange
When you're strange
 
2012-02-25 03:44:01 PM
Want the real answer?

1 household with 4 members only needs 1 clothes washer, 1 fridge, 1 cooking range, 1 electric bill, 1 landline, 1 cable bill, 1 microwave, 1 ironing machine, etc.

4 households with 1 member each needs 4 clothes washer, 4 fridges, 4 cooking ranges, 4 electric bills, 4 landlines, 4 cable bills, 4 microwaves, 4 ironing machines, etc.

"People living alone" is one of the dreamstates for corporations since they can sell more stuff.

"Living with your parents" used to be the norm until you got married. Nowadays it's seem "uncool" and you're a "loser" if you do it.

Why do you think it's so encouraged throughout pop culture? Think about it.
 
2012-02-25 03:45:28 PM
Oh I forgot that when 4 people live alone, you need FOUR houses.
 
2012-02-25 03:46:30 PM

Ed Finnerty: Maybe it's just me, but I have always felt more lonely in relationships than when I'm actually alone.

I work with people all day and I really enjoy being able to disconnect from *everyone* and have time to think, enjoy silence, and have some peace.

Dated and lived with girlfriends over the years. Was married for a while. I don't plan on living with anyone again.

I've never been happier and more content than I am now.

"Alone" and "lonely" are different words for a reason.


So much THIS. 'Alone' =/= 'Lonely'. Just as 'In a LTR' =/= 'Not Lonely'.
 
2012-02-25 03:53:27 PM
I couldn't give up the freedom of living alone for anything. Less stress, lower cost of living, and this is just me personally but I actually get somewhat depressed when I'm living in close quarters with other people and I'm in a much much better mental state when I'm alone.
 
2012-02-25 03:55:02 PM
rocky_howard: 4 electric bills,

The funny thing is, because of the way the rate per kWh scales, 4 separate electric bills is likely cheaper than one big electric bill for four people.
 
2012-02-25 03:56:46 PM
graphics8.nytimes.com

Needs more cats.
 
2012-02-25 04:03:24 PM
Two of my brothers have been solo for some years now, and last November one of them came to visit us for a few days. One evening he got up from the sofa, stepped down the hall to the bathroom and peed like a racehorse with the door wide open. When he came back into the living room to find my wife and I laughing our asses off he turned beet-red and apologized.
 
2012-02-25 04:12:06 PM

rocky_howard: Want the real answer?

1 household with 4 members only needs 1 clothes washer, 1 fridge, 1 cooking range, 1 electric bill, 1 landline, 1 cable bill, 1 microwave, 1 ironing machine, etc.

4 households with 1 member each needs 4 clothes washer, 4 fridges, 4 cooking ranges, 4 electric bills, 4 landlines, 4 cable bills, 4 microwaves, 4 ironing machines, etc.

"People living alone" is one of the dreamstates for corporations since they can sell more stuff.

"Living with your parents" used to be the norm until you got married. Nowadays it's seem "uncool" and you're a "loser" if you do it.

Why do you think it's so encouraged throughout pop culture? Think about it.


Or maybe I now live 500 miles from my family to do the work I love and I don't want to put up with the additional stress that comes with living with someone else. Did you see the roomate nightmare thread from yesterday? Not everything is a sinister corporate machination. Also, being roommates is the glue for most 20-something sitcoms, so I have no idea what you're talking about.

/Actually does live with a roommate (great person, already knew her well), but have lived alone and is okay with it.
 
2012-02-25 04:15:20 PM
Eventually, years later when you're pretty weird, loneliness starts creeping in every once in awhile and you find yourself completely unable to deal with it. And you're weird enough that people find you socially awkward and offputting. It's super fun.
 
2012-02-25 04:17:13 PM
I've had roommates, but really prefer living alone. It's not as much because other people touching my stuff bugs me (although it does), so much as it's easier for me to relax when I don't have to worry about bothering somebody else. I like being able to do pretty much whatever I want in my place anytime I want. It's also nice knowing that at the end of a rough day, I can go home and not worry about trying to be in a good mood and can simply relax.
 
2012-02-25 04:17:41 PM

Party Boy:
Still, there is just not enough cat representation in this article for it to be credible.


If you live with a cat, you are not alone.
 
2012-02-25 04:19:24 PM
I have this pair of white flax bloomers that go down to my knee. They're like pantaloons.
 
2012-02-25 04:22:49 PM

LDM90: I'm the world's biggest introvert so you'd think I'd like being single. But if the wife goes anywhere for more than 36 hours, I completely fall apart. Forget to eat or brush my teeth, stay up until 3am. Yeah I'd go bonkers if I was single.


If my wife leaves for 36 hours I start collecting all of the pr0n on the internet. God help me if she stayed away a week.
 
2012-02-25 04:23:45 PM
Well, I guess this would explain the hour long conversations I keep having with myself

No it wouldn't, you're just messed up in the head

You don't know me!

No, I AM YOU... jesus christ that was lame; did we really just do this?

Sadly yes
 
2012-02-25 04:36:00 PM
I've never actually lived alone as an adult- but I was an only child, and I developed a taste for it. I like my own company, I crave "alone time." Without at least an hour of time by myself each day? I go slowly out of my mind. I sometimes go to the movies alone just to be by myself.

At 17, I had a roommate, at 19, I had a husband, at 21, a kid, at 22, 2 kids... I fantasize about being alone. Just being by myself, and having things stay where I put them. Divorced the last 8 or 9 years, but still have kids at home. Not just my kids; my house seems to be full of the neighborhood kids as well. And the relatives; my mother drops in on Friday and tends to camp here until Monday. Just two years more til the boys are grown, and, hopefully, on their own; at which point, I plan to become a full on eccentric old lady. I might relocate to another state, and not tell anyone. I will wear mismatched pajamas at noon and eat over the sink. I will leave laundry sitting in baskets, and dishes sitting in the sink. I may even drink out of bottles without a glass. And I'm looking forward to it. God I am looking forward to it.
 
2012-02-25 04:36:49 PM
Let me first confess that I DNRTFA, I only skimmed it, and that only about two thirds in. I was looking for some kind objective evidence in it supporting the headline (and subby's). I might try again, but what I gleaned is that being by yourself affords you to live in ways that some other people, maybe even many, may compare to their own subjective habits and consider 'weird'.

I've argued before that arbitrary normatives aren't necessarily good for us, just because they're popular. In my own subjective estimation, 'average' people limit themselves, each other, and most others they're able to influence, to a degree that seems to me to irrationally and unprofitably impair a more interesting, free, and creative-minded culture. So I really don't care what those people think.

In my more naive moments of optimism, I like to fantasize about a world in which everyone is evaluated by others on the basis of considerations that actually matter, such as how good we are at our jobs or how well we treat others, rather than on now closely our habits and style hew to whatever presumed norms are in fashion at the time.
 
2012-02-25 04:43:26 PM

rocky_howard: Want the real answer?

1 household with 4 members only needs 1 clothes washer, 1 fridge, 1 cooking range, 1 electric bill, 1 landline, 1 cable bill, 1 microwave, 1 ironing machine, etc.

4 households with 1 member each needs 4 clothes washer, 4 fridges, 4 cooking ranges, 4 electric bills, 4 landlines, 4 cable bills, 4 microwaves, 4 ironing machines, etc.

"People living alone" is one of the dreamstates for corporations since they can sell more stuff.

"Living with your parents" used to be the norm until you got married. Nowadays it's seem "uncool" and you're a "loser" if you do it.

Why do you think it's so encouraged throughout pop culture? Think about it.


There have been several articles about more college grads moving back in with their folks. As pointed out, having roommates is the more common theme on TV, and almost every aspect of our culture, fashion, TV, holidays, the tax code, they ALL encourage couple-hood and marriage.

I mean, I am single, live alone, and many aquaintences automatically assume that I'm gay.

Actually, when I moved to the south, one of my new neighbor's children, asked me if I had any videogames.

"No, I'm sorry, but I don't."

"Yew don't have kids?"

"No, I don't."

"Don't chu wanna have kids?"

"Er...not really. Not now anyway."

"Don' chu wanna get married?"

So no, if anything, especially for women, the pressure is still on the have an S.O. and get married.
 
2012-02-25 04:43:59 PM
I have been living by myself for about a year and a half. While I don't have to deal with other people's drama, it is very lonely. I have friends from college that live in the area and we still hang out, but I haven't made any new friends since I moved. I've worked to avoid developing any major quirks. I also try to cook regular meals, and stay cleanly. What I have become is increasingly paranoid about security, slightly depressed, and much more socially awkward than I previously was. The most difficult part is that any thing I experience is solely my own, and I have no one to relate with. I have developed a huge amount of in-jokes that only I would get. Especially since many of the things I am interested in, my friends necessarily aren't. If they are, it isn't to the same degree that I am. I also work driving a bus, which is also work that is very isolating. My current schedule has me working Friday and Saturday nights, so even when my friends want to go do stuff, I am working. All this isolation will probably start getting to me sooner or later.
 
2012-02-25 04:57:01 PM
Maybe it's just me, but I didn't think the things described in the article were that weird. Maybe that's because I do most of those things already and I don't live alone. I lived with roommates and that was not fun. Luckily one of them was a good friend so it had it's moments, but we wanted to kill each other half the time. I then lived alone for awhile and it was lonely (although it might have just been me at the time). I had plenty of bad habits, but none of them seem that weird to me. Having lived with other people I realized that most of the stuff I might have thought was "weird" when living alone was really just stuff that other people do when they're alone. The only habit I haven't been able to break in my 7 years of marriage/living together has been talking to myself. I find myself doing it sometimes in front of others and that's embarrassing :P. Otherwise the only "bad" thing about living with someone you love is stupid things like I don't want to feel obligated to take a shower on days when I don't go anywhere (so I don't, but I feel a little guilty about it). Oh yah, and sharing a bed kind of sucks, not really the sharing part (I like the closeness), but the sleeping part is somewhat problematic for me. Thankfully we got a king size bed and it alleviated some of that.
 
2012-02-25 05:18:29 PM

k1e7: couples just coalesce into a whole new meta-weird


THIS

Couples can only hope that they reach the point where they can do "weird" shiat around each other and together.

Living alone is mostly awesome, but it's nice to have backups for stuff like being there when the plumber comes, or calling 911 when the need arises. If 1-person households are really on the rise, retirement communities will probably become important when everyone gets older, possibly even before retirement age.
 
Displayed 50 of 169 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report