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(HitFix)   Some folks won't prep their kids for Doomsday by training them to fight with tomahawks made from railroad spikes, but then again some folk'll   (hitfix.com) divider line 51
    More: Scary, Too Far, competitiveness, HitFix, railroad spike, natgeo  
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3822 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 24 Feb 2012 at 7:10 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-02-24 05:37:45 PM  
.....like Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel.

/+1 for Subby.
 
2012-02-24 05:53:51 PM  
He seems like a real Obama guy
 
2012-02-24 06:18:50 PM  
If the rapture comes and leaves me behind with these "prepper" assholes I plan on shooting myself
 
2012-02-24 07:13:02 PM  
Good jerb subby!
+1 indeed.
 
2012-02-24 07:19:20 PM  
Stephen Lang will play this guy in the inevitable feature film.
 
2012-02-24 07:20:15 PM  
That guy is a lunatic but I still want him to teach me all that shiate.

i253.photobucket.com

- I'm more of a Eull Gibbons type of survivalist myself but I like birds and throwing stuff.
 
2012-02-24 07:30:34 PM  
We need more justified threads...
 
2012-02-24 07:32:54 PM  
I always appreciate a Simpsons reference!

www.tu-pc.com
 
2012-02-24 07:44:01 PM  
I'll shoot his kid right between the eyes with my rifle before he has a chance to throw that tomahawk, and feed his carcass to my wolf-hybrid dogs.
 
2012-02-24 07:45:20 PM  
Doomsday preppers = farking idiots who want their 15 minutes of shame.
 
2012-02-24 07:46:08 PM  
Some folks won't prep their kids for Doomsday

Yeah.. Jor-El and Lara.
 
2012-02-24 08:01:32 PM  
Daddy taught me that the robins can distinguish angry energy in people. Later, he would sneak up on me with a fake pistol and try to take me hostage.

/Man, those are going to be some farked up kids.
//If you go after someone with a hatchet while holding the blade, they'll grab the handle and you'll need someone who can do sutures. If you survive the encounter.
 
2012-02-24 08:01:40 PM  
i44.tinypic.com

Sally, you have five seconds to complete that formula before I SPLATTER YOUR BRAINS ALL OVER THE CHALKBOARD!
 
2012-02-24 08:07:29 PM  
Ah, yes, this is another example of "The History Channel Effect" grinding yet another, more useful channel into the dirt.

"We need to find an angle - Bear Gryllis has already cornered the 'survivalist chugging his own urine' market, and we can't beat the History Channel's near-constant 'Armageddeon and You' programming onslaught. How do we throw out what little integrity we have left and find a sensationalist reality TV show that can boost our ratings? HEY! I know! Let's go follow some of those 'Doomsday Defenders' morons - yeah, they're bound to do something stupid we can push to a Nielsen family!"

Fark you, NatGeo. You used to be cool. You used to be cool.
 
2012-02-24 08:19:36 PM  
Doomsday will come when Martha Stewart shows us how to build our own "Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness Kit" instead of buying one.
 
2012-02-24 08:21:03 PM  

NuttierThanEver: If the rapture comes and leaves me behind with these "prepper" assholes I plan on shooting myself


Are these preppers the religious kind? Did not bother to watch the video.
 
2012-02-24 08:29:06 PM  

AbiNormal: Doomsday preppers = farking idiots who want their 15 minutes of shame.


I saw the online teaser for this show and figured they chose the craziest, most controversial bastages they could find.
 
2012-02-24 08:38:17 PM  
My dad and I practiced half this shiat just because we were camping.

Knife throwing, shooting, archery, fishing, hunting, identifying edible plants, making shelter, making fire, cooking on said fires, wrestling, orienteering, blacksmithing.

The only real difference between Saturday in the woods and doomsday prep is that we made plans to get a shower on Sunday.
 
2012-02-24 08:44:17 PM  
I remember jury-rigging a rail-spike gun in Fallout 3. Good times.
 
2012-02-24 09:26:19 PM  
Nothin cracks a turtle like Leon Uris
 
2012-02-24 09:46:14 PM  

Archimedes' Principal: AbiNormal: Doomsday preppers = farking idiots who want their 15 minutes of shame.

I saw the online teaser for this show and figured they chose the craziest, most controversial bastages they could find.


They mix in a couple of actual useful facts along the way.

Like most, of these preppers are completely unprepared for a mortar strike.
 
2012-02-24 09:53:25 PM  
I watched a couple of these episodes and you try to feel sorry for these people's insanity, but you end up really disliking them. It's almost as if they wish for a catastrophe so they could thumb their noses at their neighbors and friends for not preparing.
They showed this one idiot who was at target practice with his kids and the next thing you know,there is a scream and the camera gets shaky. We then see a medic over top of the guy bandaging his thumb. All of a sudden, our hero prepper passes out. We then see him getting life flighted to the hospital to get his thumb sewed back on. There was some sort of irony there in him needing modern medicine while he's failing at preparing for the end of the world.
But, the amount of morbidly obese people preparing for the end is breathtaking. I mean the fat is everywhere. It's strange how they prepare for an apocalypse but they don't take care of their health.
One more thing, the show sucks.
 
2012-02-24 10:04:06 PM  

Archimedes' Principal: I saw the online teaser for this show and figured they chose the craziest, most controversial bastages they could find.


There was a Fark thread about a week ago featuring some Army girl/prepper and the link was her Farker friend's blog about how unfairly NG Channel made her look like a lunatic.

She chimed in and was a really good sport - and you can imagine how various Farkers reacted to a real live woman WHO HAS BEEN ON TV!

/ Good times
// Find the link yourself, you lazy non-prepper
 
2012-02-24 10:14:31 PM  

NuttierThanEver: If the rapture comes and leaves me behind with these "prepper" assholes I plan on shooting myself


If the Rapture actually happens, wouldn't these devout Christian survivalists be taken to heaven, leaving their stuff behind for us to use? Prepping for the End Times seems to either indicate a lack of faith, or some serious guilt over some secret sins. You'd figure anyone who was secure in their faith and goodness would just assume they would be among the Raptured.

/Prepping for the Rupture myself
 
2012-02-24 11:02:52 PM  
Pft, railroad spike? I have a Winkler tomahawk, thank you very much.
 
2012-02-24 11:03:46 PM  

jaytkay: Archimedes' Principal: I saw the online teaser for this show and figured they chose the craziest, most controversial bastages they could find.

There was a Fark thread about a week ago featuring some Army girl/prepper and the link was her Farker friend's blog about how unfairly NG Channel made her look like a lunatic.

She chimed in and was a really good sport - and you can imagine how various Farkers reacted to a real live woman WHO HAS BEEN ON TV!

/ Good times
// Find the link yourself, you lazy non-prepper


Crud, I missed that.
If it's the girl from Houston, they sure did make her look pretty foolish.

It's not Masterpiece Theatre, but I do find the show interesting. The dude who invented who own supreme killing E-Tool and ended up shooting his own thumb off was pretty entertaining. It's also not all right wing, religious types- they had a couple peace-loving hippie types. But all the ones I've seen on the show have oddly specific calamities they're prepping for: EMP from a solar flare, the Poles shifting, super volcano in Yellowstone destroying New York.
No zombies, yet.
 
2012-02-24 11:16:34 PM  
best dad ever
no one's gonna fark with his little girl.
 
2012-02-24 11:18:56 PM  
My husband likes the show so we have seen most of the episodes. To an extent, there is some value and take away from the show but this is just too extreme. (Which makes for "good" tv, I guess)

/need to start hoarding water
//for when "it hits the fan"
 
2012-02-24 11:25:54 PM  

Mad_Radhu: NuttierThanEver: If the rapture comes and leaves me behind with these "prepper" assholes I plan on shooting myself

If the Rapture actually happens, wouldn't these devout Christian survivalists be taken to heaven, leaving their stuff behind for us to use? Prepping for the End Times seems to either indicate a lack of faith, or some serious guilt over some secret sins. You'd figure anyone who was secure in their faith and goodness would just assume they would be among the Raptured.

/Prepping for the Rupture myself


So, you don't understand preppers.
 
2012-02-24 11:42:24 PM  
Forgive me for being ignorant here but isn't THE WORLD SUPPOSED TO END? I don't think that teaching Fred (new window) how to throw hatchets is a really useful tactic at this point.

Also, mom is notably absent, though I believe it is only during the show because she doesn't want to be seen as a nut-job too. Someone has to be hooking up that internet the younger boy was playing on and getting the older boy those splendid frosted highlights in his hair. Speaking of the younger boy, he's all "I just want to be a kid while I can, thanks." Mom, I'm sure, had a hand in that.
 
2012-02-24 11:44:41 PM  

Mad_Radhu: NuttierThanEver: If the rapture comes and leaves me behind with these "prepper" assholes I plan on shooting myself

If the Rapture actually happens, wouldn't these devout Christian survivalists be taken to heaven, leaving their stuff behind for us to use? Prepping for the End Times seems to either indicate a lack of faith, or some serious guilt over some secret sins. You'd figure anyone who was secure in their faith and goodness would just assume they would be among the Raptured.

/Prepping for the Rupture myself


Some people think only 144,000 will be "Raptured". Since, on average 155,000 die every day, they might just be realists about their odds, if nothing else.
 
2012-02-24 11:51:15 PM  

drkats: But, the amount of morbidly obese people preparing for the end is breathtaking. I mean the fat is everywhere. It's strange how they prepare for an apocalypse but they don't take care of their health.


Don't know if you've seen this guys vids (new window), but he is grotesquely huge. Watching him trying to put on the vest is lol worthy.
 
2012-02-25 12:00:06 AM  

Whatthefark: drkats: But, the amount of morbidly obese people preparing for the end is breathtaking. I mean the fat is everywhere. It's strange how they prepare for an apocalypse but they don't take care of their health.

Don't know if you've seen this guys vids (new window), but he is grotesquely huge. Watching him trying to put on the vest is lol worthy.


If the apocalypse was coming wouldn't you want to store up fat for when it's harder to find food?
 
2012-02-25 12:22:08 AM  

Whatthefark: drkats: But, the amount of morbidly obese people preparing for the end is breathtaking. I mean the fat is everywhere. It's strange how they prepare for an apocalypse but they don't take care of their health.

Don't know if you've seen this guys vids (new window), but he is grotesquely huge. Watching him trying to put on the vest is lol worthy.


That guy was on the episode I saw the other night and he mentioned his YouTube show. He talked about how his health was poor and he needed money for surgery. I'm guessing that it's gastric bypass or some thing like that. The funniest part was when he was running outside with his rifle and trying to be all evasive and stuff. Survival rule number one in zombieland is do cardio. I guess he skipped over that one.
 
2012-02-25 12:52:39 AM  

drkats: Whatthefark: drkats: But, the amount of morbidly obese people preparing for the end is breathtaking. I mean the fat is everywhere. It's strange how they prepare for an apocalypse but they don't take care of their health.

Don't know if you've seen this guys vids (new window), but he is grotesquely huge. Watching him trying to put on the vest is lol worthy.

That guy was on the episode I saw the other night and he mentioned his YouTube show. He talked about how his health was poor and he needed money for surgery. I'm guessing that it's gastric bypass or some thing like that. The funniest part was when he was running outside with his rifle and trying to be all evasive and stuff. Survival rule number one in zombieland is do cardio. I guess he skipped over that one.


He was the EMP solar lens flare guy. And yeah, his tactical moves were a bit on the lumbering side. But he was also one of the 'preppers' they showed that saw himself as a sort of beacon to others. Instead of just boarding up and keeping everyone out when the bad stuff comes down, he had tons of comm gear set up so he could reach out and help others.
He might have been the only I've seen so far that appeared to be totally by himself. Yeah, yeah, I know: fat whack job, of course he's alone. But there was something a little sad about this really unhealthy dude trying to prep for solar flare caused EMP all by himself.
Sounds like a pretty ripe target.....
 
2012-02-25 01:10:04 AM  
Hmm, imagine that. A TV show about something that really only presents a part of the subject that is controversial and drives up ratings with the ADD crowd.
 
2012-02-25 01:11:15 AM  
Can anyone recommend any reading on this backwoods American phenomenon of being pants-shiattingly terrified of other people? I understand that crazies exist in every culture, but yours are...special. What the hell did I just watch?? The only one of those kids approaching normal is the one on the bike. You could read the fear in Daniel Boone's eyes! I'll bet one of his inner voices was considering slaying the film crew because they've "seen too much".
/cool bird stuff though.
 
2012-02-25 01:20:33 AM  

phrenicmonkey: Can anyone recommend any reading on this backwoods American phenomenon of being pants-shiattingly terrified of other people? I understand that crazies exist in every culture, but yours are...special. What the hell did I just watch?? The only one of those kids approaching normal is the one on the bike. You could read the fear in Daniel Boone's eyes! I'll bet one of his inner voices was considering slaying the film crew because they've "seen too much".


I'm sorry I can't find the specific article, but there actually is evidence that some of that paranoia is genetic, a specific chemical signature in the brain, and it was common among certain groups that settled in Appalachia, and through interbreeding (and, yeah, inbreeding) that trait has become increasingly more prevalent. However, the population has also dwindled as time has gone by (and newer generations leave instead of staying), so now you have the paranoia condition along with isolation.
 
2012-02-25 01:31:10 AM  

drkats: Whatthefark: drkats: But, the amount of morbidly obese people preparing for the end is breathtaking. I mean the fat is everywhere. It's strange how they prepare for an apocalypse but they don't take care of their health.

Don't know if you've seen this guys vids (new window), but he is grotesquely huge. Watching him trying to put on the vest is lol worthy.

That guy was on the episode I saw the other night and he mentioned his YouTube show. He talked about how his health was poor and he needed money for surgery. I'm guessing that it's gastric bypass or some thing like that. The funniest part was when he was running outside with his rifle and trying to be all evasive and stuff. Survival rule number one in zombieland is do cardio. I guess he skipped over that one.


From what I gather on his YouTube Channel, the State of Tennessee recently found him unfit to have firearms in his possession and took them from him.

Voodoo_Stu: Whatthefark: drkats: But, the amount of morbidly obese people preparing for the end is breathtaking. I mean the fat is everywhere. It's strange how they prepare for an apocalypse but they don't take care of their health.

Don't know if you've seen this guys vids (new window), but he is grotesquely huge. Watching him trying to put on the vest is lol worthy.

If the apocalypse was coming wouldn't you want to store up fat for when it's harder to find food?


lol. Yeah, if he didn't die from a heart attack, he could survive off his fat stores for months,. Then again the zombies will see him as a huge Thanksgiving turkey and eat him first so maybe he wouldn't live to long.
 
2012-02-25 01:58:35 AM  
meh, there's a lot worse things one can teach their kids than how to make it in a bad situation
 
2012-02-25 02:42:15 AM  
media.comicbookmovie.com

approves
 
2012-02-25 05:17:11 AM  

Dr. Whoof: phrenicmonkey: Can anyone recommend any reading on this backwoods American phenomenon of being pants-shiattingly terrified of other people? I understand that crazies exist in every culture, but yours are...special. What the hell did I just watch?? The only one of those kids approaching normal is the one on the bike. You could read the fear in Daniel Boone's eyes! I'll bet one of his inner voices was considering slaying the film crew because they've "seen too much".

I'm sorry I can't find the specific article, but there actually is evidence that some of that paranoia is genetic, a specific chemical signature in the brain, and it was common among certain groups that settled in Appalachia, and through interbreeding (and, yeah, inbreeding) that trait has become increasingly more prevalent. However, the population has also dwindled as time has gone by (and newer generations leave instead of staying), so now you have the paranoia condition along with isolation.


It's plausible. Paranoid personality disorder (and other Cluster A personality disorders) are known to be genetic. Think: Schitzophrenia.

I tend to think it's more likely to be self selection however: If you're a paranoid schitzophrenic, you're far more likely to move to a rural area to get away from people you inherently mistrust, than you are to move to any type of population center.
 
2012-02-25 05:26:39 AM  

vudukungfu: best dad ever
no one's gonna fark with his little girl.


Yup. Life skills man. Life skills. Plus it's lots of fun.
 
2012-02-25 08:38:25 AM  

phrenicmonkey: Can anyone recommend any reading on this backwoods American phenomenon of being pants-shiattingly terrified of other people? I understand that crazies exist in every culture, but yours are...special. What the hell did I just watch?? The only one of those kids approaching normal is the one on the bike. You could read the fear in Daniel Boone's eyes! I'll bet one of his inner voices was considering slaying the film crew because they've "seen too much".
/cool bird stuff though.


As someone who grew up in the Vermont mountain backwoods (yeah, yeah, anecdotes, data, plurals), the only people I ever met who were prepper-type paranoids moved there from the suburbs/lot-less-rural. Partly because a lot of that stuff you just learn naturally growing up out there, like how to be on your own because you might get snowed or flooded in for a week, but I also think that it shows you how beneficial the community can be. Everyone where I'm from has been snowed in or stuck in a drift at one point or another and been helped out by a neighbor. That's just the mundane stuff, too; it's an even more obvious message when your buddy watches his barn with fifty cattle inside burn to the ground (the most horrifying thing you'll ever hear) and the whole town chips in to help get back on his feet. And no, Vermont backwoods is not the Ben-and-Jerry's-and-Stowe hippy commune Vermont, but a lot closer to Appalachia.

The ones that move in from out of town, on the other hand, don't seem to have that same outlook, and are much more standoffish.
 
2012-02-25 08:42:46 AM  

doglover: My dad and I practiced half this shiat just because we were camping.

Knife throwing, shooting, archery, fishing, hunting, identifying edible plants, making shelter, making fire, cooking on said fires, wrestling, orienteering, blacksmithing.

The only real difference between Saturday in the woods and doomsday prep is that we made plans to get a shower on Sunday.


Exactly. I get a big kick out of all the people who laugh at those who have survival skills. I hope for some sort of apocalypse just so I can watch the Iproduct Starbucks crowd melt down and eat eachother.
 
2012-02-25 09:27:57 AM  
FWIW: Kaspersky blocked some kind of malware when I clicked on the story link. Anyone else have this?
 
2012-02-25 09:32:54 AM  
Yeah he made all those tomahawks himself. You can feel because each one is perfect, totally hand made yeah.

I wonder at what point he'll realize that there's tons of ammo out there. Oops.
 
2012-02-25 10:20:32 PM  

EbolaNYC: Yeah he made all those tomahawks himself. You can feel because each one is perfect, totally hand made yeah.

I wonder at what point he'll realize that there's tons of ammo out there. Oops.


He's probably seen this scene.
 
2012-02-25 10:44:37 PM  

slotz: FWIW: Kaspersky blocked some kind of malware when I clicked on the story link. Anyone else have this


Yah, me.
 
2012-02-26 02:26:02 AM  
$14.98 @ budk.com
budk.com
this is the low-end, they have $30, $50 hand axes

$274.95 @ zombietools.net
zombietools.net
comes with sheath
 
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