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(Comedy.Com)   Every Billy Crystal Oscars opening... this is why he should have never left   (comedy.com) divider line 60
    More: Cool, Billy Crystal, Academy Awards  
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6859 clicks; posted to Video » on 23 Feb 2012 at 9:00 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-02-23 05:36:38 PM
This will pretty much occupy my afternoon. Thanks subby.
 
2012-02-23 07:02:50 PM
I can't wait to not watch this.
 
2012-02-23 07:30:20 PM
i can't believe he's willing to come back after being snubbed for his performance in my giant.
 
2012-02-23 08:46:14 PM
OMG I hope he does some jokes about old Jewish men!
 
2012-02-23 09:06:54 PM
Billy Crystal? The Oscars must have SBHGD.

//Super Bowl Halftime Geriatric Disease
 
2012-02-23 09:13:59 PM

Ed Finnerty: OMG I hope he does some jokes about old Jewish men!


It would take a miracle
 
2012-02-23 09:24:21 PM
This is gonna be unpopular, because I'm gonna have to pull up anecdotal evidence that I can't produce...

He was a very gifted comic in his day, but I've heard some tales of his extreme ego and asshattery, both to his fans, and to those he's worked with.

/I guess that could describe every talent in show biz
 
2012-02-23 09:25:30 PM

Ed Finnerty: OMG I hope he does some jokes about old Jewish men!


So you think he's going to do Billy Crystal impressions?
 
2012-02-23 09:28:02 PM
Actually, I do remember one source.

i43.tower.com

A great read.
 
2012-02-23 09:35:49 PM

odinsposse: Ed Finnerty: OMG I hope he does some jokes about old Jewish men!

So you think he's going to do Billy Crystal impressions?


That would be so meta.
 
2012-02-23 09:37:55 PM
Billy Crystal isn't bad, but he's safe and a bit dull. I really wish the Oscar's hadn't decided that they are synonymous with DIGNITY. I don't watch the Oscars for DIGNITY. I watch the Oscars to see people with a lot more money than me who have a lot less taste dress up in horrible, expensive outfits. Frankly, Rob Lowe singing "Proud Mary" with Snow White (while tables and chairs formed a kick line behind them) was a lot more enjoyable to the DIGNITY of dancers moving in slow-mo to the Crash theme song.
 
2012-02-23 09:39:11 PM

Midnight Rambler: I guess that could describe every talent in show biz


www.picgifs.com

Not him.
 
2012-02-23 09:43:35 PM
come on, don't talk back. mime is money
 
2012-02-23 09:44:44 PM
img32.imageshack.us

He was a lot funnier before he became a right-wing pundit.
 
2012-02-23 09:46:08 PM

WhyteRaven74: Midnight Rambler: I guess that could describe every talent in show biz

[www.picgifs.com image 400x500]

Not him.


Ha, touchè. Raven.
 
2012-02-23 09:47:50 PM
I still think a Muppet-driven Oscars hosted by Statler and Waldorf would be awesome
 
2012-02-23 09:52:00 PM
Ha the first one is awesome. Jack Nicholson is so rich Morgan Freeman drove him here.

LOL.
 
2012-02-23 09:52:09 PM

ArkAngel: I still think a Muppet-driven Oscars hosted by Statler and Waldorf would be awesome


There's no way they'd allow that, given the whining after Gervais at the Golden Globes, there's no way they'd allow those two to host.
 
2012-02-23 10:13:59 PM
What's that dance step where the dancer stamps one foot then makes the signal for "SAFE!" ?

I'll bet he does that.
 
2012-02-23 10:16:12 PM

Although everyone thought James Franco failed as an Oscar host (he was okay) I liked Anne Hathaway as co-host. She was funny and lively. I blame the producers and the writers. Year after year how can all those Hollywood people make an award show that sucks? Too many musical numbers and bits that fall flat.


I think I saw Hugh Jackman hosting the Tonys. They should just have him host the Oscars as well. He's a more current actor than Crystal, and he's a good host. And I swear if I see more than three reaction shots of Jack Nicholson during the show I hope the whole telecast suddenly drops off the air.

 
2012-02-23 10:32:50 PM

skinink:
I think I saw Hugh Jackman hosting the Tonys. They should just have him host the Oscars as well.


He did.
 
2012-02-23 10:39:36 PM
Oprah... Uma. Uma... Oprah
 
2012-02-23 10:43:35 PM

skinink: I think I saw Hugh Jackman hosting the Tonys. They should just have him host the Oscars as well


At the Tonys they're willing to have fun. The Oscars? Not so much.
 
2012-02-23 10:45:43 PM
Billy Crystal made fun of me in utero.


Would you like to know more?
 
2012-02-23 10:46:23 PM
Yep, there goes part of my day.
 
2012-02-23 10:51:29 PM
i didnt get half those jokes.

everything is so old. berlin wall came down in 1990?? gorbachev jokes? this stuff is ancient history. never mind jokes about the nominees.
 
2012-02-23 11:11:40 PM
I can't watch this here but did he do the medley thing the year Schindler's List came out? That could have been awkward.
 
2012-02-23 11:12:32 PM
So there's going to be a thread tomorrow, right? I might force myself to watch.
 
2012-02-23 11:41:18 PM
Bookmark a non-boobie thread? More likely than you think.
 
2012-02-23 11:47:53 PM

cryinoutloud: So there's going to be a thread tomorrow, right? I might force myself to watch.


Sunday and there should be a thread.
 
2012-02-24 12:44:26 AM

Mugato: I can't watch this here but did he do the medley thing the year Schindler's List came out? That could have been awkward.


Whoopi hosted that year.
 
2012-02-24 01:03:37 AM
I hope this year's Oscars makes some sort of serious statement/plea/public address thingy about piracy and how its hurting the industry....

.....while hosting a multi-million dollar awards gala full of pomp and circumstance, full of billionaire studio tycoons and dolled up actresses wearing dresses worth more than the average person's salary....

/and the irony will not be lost on them....
 
2012-02-24 06:07:35 AM

thomps: i can't believe he's willing to come back after being snubbed for his performance in my giant.


Your giant what?
 
2012-02-24 07:05:03 AM

DeaH: Billy Crystal isn't bad, but he's safe and a bit dull. I really wish the Oscar's hadn't decided that they are synonymous with DIGNITY. I don't watch the Oscars for DIGNITY. I watch the Oscars to see people with a lot more money than me who have a lot less taste dress up in horrible, expensive outfits. Frankly, Rob Lowe singing "Proud Mary" with Snow White (while tables and chairs formed a kick line behind them) was a lot more enjoyable to the DIGNITY of dancers moving in slow-mo to the Crash theme song.


That had one of the most unintentionally funny lines of all time. "I've always admired your work, Snow."
 
2012-02-24 07:36:33 AM
His niece, Faith Crystal, used to babysit for me when I was about 4 years old. My parents didn't make the connection until they saw her wearing an official City Slickers jacket.

Apparently her dad (his brother) is way funnier, and Billy calls Robin Williams "opera gloves" because of his hairy hands.



I've always been a Billy Crystal fan since I was pretty young. Sure he's kind of outdated and plastic nowadays, but anything will be better than last year's Franco/Hathaway train wreck.
 
2012-02-24 07:45:51 AM
tl;dw.
 
2012-02-24 08:24:21 AM
Another submitted headline overselling the goods....

Looking at the clips, the thing that struck me most: how the later years got saddled with more musical numbers. The show made the full transition from 'awards event' for movie insiders to 'televised motion picture industry propagandasm'.

Not even Billy Crystal's inside jokes can save it -- when he has to sing and yukk it up for television audiences at home.
 
2012-02-24 08:30:31 AM
I hate to be "that guy" (not really) but I don't think I've ever laughed at anything Billy Cristal has ever done. Mind you my exposure to him is limited but I kind of lump him into that "People Who Are Considered Funny But Have Never Made Me Laugh Ever" category with Martin Short, Robin Williams, and the cast of The Big Bang Theory.
 
2012-02-24 08:46:43 AM

Iceberg659: I hate to be "that guy" (not really) but I don't think I've ever laughed at anything Billy Cristal has ever done. Mind you my exposure to him is limited but I kind of lump him into that "People Who Are Considered Funny But Have Never Made Me Laugh Ever" category with Martin Short, Robin Williams, and the cast of The Big Bang Theory.


if you can watch Good Morning Vietnam and not laugh... there is seriously something wrong with your sense of humor. Yeah, he is pretty much unfunny these days, but his 80's stuff is STILL brilliant.
 
2012-02-24 08:49:35 AM
How can you not find "Jack is so rich, that Jon Peters still does his hair" funny?! That is so meta!
 
2012-02-24 08:50:13 AM
Ever wonder why there are so many Jews in Hollywood?
 
2012-02-24 09:25:32 AM
You want a host who's funny and can be both sophisticated and silly? Bring back Steve Martin.
 
2012-02-24 09:35:53 AM
If they're worried about ratings, maybe they should try nominating films people actually enjoyed seeing instead of nothing but Oscarbait.

/I want Moneyball to sweep
//mainly because that was the only nominated film that I saw or even heard of except for Tinker Tailor (and only because of "Help me George Smiley, you're our only hope")
///academy showed their hand when they snubbed both Bourne Ultimatum and TDK
////they need an Oscars where a film has to have made a minimum of $100 million at the box office to be nominated
 
2012-02-24 09:49:29 AM

Ishkur: I hope this year's Oscars makes some sort of serious statement/plea/public address thingy about piracy and how its hurting the industry....

.....while hosting a multi-million dollar awards gala full of pomp and circumstance, full of billionaire studio tycoons and dolled up actresses wearing dresses worth more than the average person's salary....

/and the irony will not be lost on them....


Heh, watch the 2004 clip. When Crystal gets to Lord of the Rings in his melody, and sings about how long it took him to download it the night before.
 
2012-02-24 09:57:34 AM

Iceberg659: I hate to be "that guy" (not really) but I don't think I've ever laughed at anything Billy Cristal has ever done. Mind you my exposure to him is limited but I kind of lump him into that "People Who Are Considered Funny But Have Never Made Me Laugh Ever" category with Martin Short, Robin Williams, and the cast of The Big Bang Theory.


You didn't laugh during Monsters Inc. or Aladdin? Mind you, both are animated movies but they're still damn funny.

Plus, Billy Crystal was in The Princess Bride. Your argument is invalid.
 
2012-02-24 10:04:30 AM

frepnog: Iceberg659: I hate to be "that guy" (not really) but I don't think I've ever laughed at anything Billy Cristal has ever done. Mind you my exposure to him is limited but I kind of lump him into that "People Who Are Considered Funny But Have Never Made Me Laugh Ever" category with Martin Short, Robin Williams, and the cast of The Big Bang Theory.

if you can watch Good Morning Vietnam and not laugh... there is seriously something wrong with your sense of humor. Yeah, he is pretty much unfunny these days, but his 80's stuff is STILL brilliant.


I'll check it out but the guy does nothing for me.
 
2012-02-24 10:52:14 AM

Another Government Employee: "I've always admired your work, Snow."


i.lv3.hbo.com

Knows nothing about that
 
2012-02-24 10:52:19 AM
Shows the age group the Oscars are targeting choosing Billy Crystal. Has he done anything in the past 15 years other than voice acting?
 
2012-02-24 10:53:40 AM
Anything will better than last year when the show was hosted by those two boobs. And James Franco.
 
2012-02-24 10:58:37 AM

Cndn Bacon: Iceberg659: I hate to be "that guy" (not really) but I don't think I've ever laughed at anything Billy Cristal has ever done. Mind you my exposure to him is limited but I kind of lump him into that "People Who Are Considered Funny But Have Never Made Me Laugh Ever" category with Martin Short, Robin Williams, and the cast of The Big Bang Theory.

You didn't laugh during Monsters Inc. or Aladdin? Mind you, both are animated movies but they're still damn funny.

Plus, Billy Crystal was in The Princess Bride. Your argument is invalid.


img.listal.com

OH LOOK WHO KNOWS SO MUCH!
 
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