Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   Do you know any people with really nutty beliefs, like that ZIP codes are illegal or that courtrooms that have flags with fringe on them are illegitimate?   (forum.freestateproject.org) divider line 457
    More: Interesting  
•       •       •

13314 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Feb 2012 at 8:31 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



457 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-02-22 11:48:16 PM  

atlfarkette: My dad is Fox News lovin, Limbaugh listening kinda guy and he started rambling on that loaves of bread would be over $20 within a year or so.


Let me guess. He bought gold off a late night infomercial that made him feel smart by teaching him the term "hedge against inflation"? And I bet he didn't check the current price of gold and didn't realize he probably paid 20% more than he should have and probably won't see gold ever get high enough to cash out with a profit?

... I know too many people like that.
 
2012-02-22 11:50:09 PM  
I try to avoid talking about those relatives. Insanity runs in my family.
 
2012-02-22 11:52:43 PM  

Over_Zealously_Apathetic: I know a guy who believes aliens gave technology to the Aztecs.


wait, they didn't?
 
2012-02-22 11:53:48 PM  
Since everyone's tossing around various and sundry tinfoil hats, here's something I never understood:

· The government has classified virtually everything (something about it being bureaucratically easier)
· The government functions by highly compartmentalizing projects and agencies (the U.S. has gotten very good at this)
· We know there's a budget for "black box" projects (skunkworks and friends)
· A few/some/most/all official leaders have been known to either distort facts or all-out lie (weasel words or not)

Given these widely held truths (within a margin of reason, of course) you're "crazy" if you think anything else beyond the official word is going on. There's plenty of room for shenanigans, and that does not mean Bigfoot, aliens, and "9/11 was an inside job" crap either.

Sure, 99.99% of all conspiracy claims are unfounded without any evidence to support them, but perhaps the idea that SOMETHING has to be going on behind the scenes is what fuels the average conspiracy theorist (if there's such a thing as "average" in this context).
 
2012-02-22 11:58:24 PM  

Skyrmion: Xcott: I know people who think they have dreams at night, despite having zero evidence that this ever really happens.

We have a person who doesn't think there's any evidence for the existence of dreams? Wow. You win the crazy-belief thread.


All right, wise guy, prove what you dreamt about last night.
 
2012-02-23 12:01:34 AM  

Delawheredad: I once ran into a guy with several real degrees from real and prestigious universities who was convinced that Gorbachev's birth mark was the mark of the beast.

I also new a Christian minister who went from mainstream Lutheran to loony Charismatic with no stops in between. His faith was incredibly weak and once he say a Charismatic snake oil salesman's theatrics he became convinced that the guy and his Charismatic nuttiness was legit. He know believes that his going to college and earning a Phd. was a "waste of time and effort."


Well yeah, it obviously was, but not for the reasons he believes.
 
2012-02-23 12:02:29 AM  

Teufelaffe: There's more evidence supporting the existence of dreaming than there is of god, but you keep up with that analogy.


Hogwash. There is zero scientific evidence that anyone dreams. The only "evidence" is people being totally convinced that it happened to them, just like alien abduction experiences and feeling the Holy Spirit.
 
2012-02-23 12:03:17 AM  

PlatypusPuke: ... but perhaps the idea that SOMETHING has to be going on behind the scenes is what fuels the average conspiracy theorist (if there's such a thing as "average" in this context).


No, what fuels conspiracy theorists is the belief that if they just BELIEVE HARD ENOUGH, that it'll become real. They're incapable of understanding that the universe does not change itself because of one nut's personal whim.
 
2012-02-23 12:05:04 AM  

Bucky Katt: Over_Zealously_Apathetic: I know a guy who believes aliens gave technology to the Aztecs.

wait, they didn't?


The Aztecs ARE the aliens, doofus!
 
2012-02-23 12:05:32 AM  
Not someone I know personally, but there are people on conspiracy boards who think Bill Hicks faked his own death so he could become Alex Jones.
 
2012-02-23 12:07:24 AM  
I believe that Maria Schriver only married Arnold Schwarznegger because they were trying to build a bullet-proof Kennedy.
 
2012-02-23 12:08:35 AM  
Late as usual
I knew someone who believed that if you remove the wrapping (with the writing on it) from a carbonated drink, the drink will become flat, even if the bottle was unopened.
 
2012-02-23 12:11:28 AM  
i believe in intelligent design and punctuated equilibrium.
 
2012-02-23 12:11:45 AM  
I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows.
 
2012-02-23 12:18:50 AM  
Obama's gonna start rounding up god-fearing, gun-owning, white, straight, dog-owning people and take over our medicare!

i651.photobucket.com

Then he's gonna feed them to the rest of the people!!
 
2012-02-23 12:19:02 AM  

buckler: Gonad


Agreed :)
 
2012-02-23 12:23:58 AM  

CapnBlues: Ima4nic8or


That filter has been in place for years.
 
2012-02-23 12:29:48 AM  

Cpl.D: PlatypusPuke: ... but perhaps the idea that SOMETHING has to be going on behind the scenes is what fuels the average conspiracy theorist (if there's such a thing as "average" in this context).

No, what fuels conspiracy theorists is the belief that if they just BELIEVE HARD ENOUGH, that it'll become real. They're incapable of understanding that the universe does not change itself because of one nut's personal whim.


I'd agree that this notion comprises most conspiracy theorists, yes. But why? That's a lot of mental illness out there. Maybe, part of it is that some people are so desperate for a change (or a paradigm shift) that they know will never come, that they manufacture a more palatable fantasy instead of dealing directly in an interminably unbearable reality.

/shrug
//there's gotta be a reason for it all and it can't ALL be attributed to mental illnesses
 
2012-02-23 12:35:34 AM  
Everybody I know is depressingly normal. But then again, we are Canadian.

I on the other hand, believe that bigfoot is a real live animal that hasn't been officially discovered by science, ufos are an atmospheric phenomena that people do observe but have yet to be explained, and that ginger guys tend to have large penises.

I'm actually the weirdest person I know.
 
2012-02-23 12:45:11 AM  

KarmicDisaster: You guys are seriously scaring me.

OK, I know some vitaminophiles. They don't go to the doctor, they think that taking mass quantities of all types of vitamins will keep you healthy and cure you. Also that there is a conspiracy between The Doctors and The Drug Companies to suppress the knowledge of vitamins and other Secret Nutritional Substances and keep you sick. Dinner for them consists of a bowl or plate of assorted vitamins, garlic pills, fish oils, ginseng pills, trace elements pills, metal pills and more pills and maybe a piece of bread.


I'm not a vitaminophile, but one thing I have noticed after using multivitamins is that I can tolerate a short night of sleep better than I did before.
 
2012-02-23 12:46:46 AM  
Nutty beliefs? How about the brand of idiots who believe your race makes you superior.

Why is it that I've never seen a single White Supremacist who was superior in any form? Every single one of them has had severe problems, whether it be some genetic defect, some vice like alcoholism or drugs, abject poverty due to laziness or ineptitude or just plain ugly as hell.

I've never called any of them on it because I'm sure I'd hear some toothless rant about Jews or Blacks.
 
2012-02-23 12:49:17 AM  

profplump: I have trouble calling that actually crazy, at least without understanding the particular theory of operation he's describing.


Or, you could talk to a real petroleum geologist, like my father. It's horseshiat. It's a wild fantasy dreamed up by people who desperately want to believe that petroleum is not a limited resource, that the earth will just 'make more of it'. Which is technically true, if you've got tens of thousands of years to wait around.

And before you pick up that keyboard to respond, let me also add that this is an all too common conceit of engineers, who often confuse themselves with scientists. Mastery of the rules of fully realised closed systems with fixed and known properties is a world apart from grasping vastly broader theora of much greater complexity, where not every single factor is known to extreme precision. Your logical approach to this question is entirely appropriate for your training, and for the problems it was designed to deal with. You need to accept, however, that it is inadequate for reapplication to problems it was not intended to deal with. Your education is a finely honed machine optimised for a specific purpose. This is not within that scope; it's the wrong tool for the job. I'm sorry, but it has to be said, and you have to hear it, before you go to far with this and make a fool of yourself.

The fact that a geologist cannot build a machine to demonstrate the process by which biomatter becomes petroleum -- literally make it, right there on the bench -- is not valid reason to question an entire theory developed by countless scientists over many decades, representing, combined, thousands of years of study on a subject you have never studied yourself. You expect people to respect your expertise. You need to respect theirs.

yukichigai: his sweat is more acidic than most people's


I have something like that, too, though apparently milder, or at least different. I've had a few el-cheapo watches turn green on me (acid + copper alloy), and leave black marks and irritation on my skin. They all worked just fine, though, and I don't recall any of them acting weird, ever. (Any more than any other cheap watch will.) I was really unaware of any problem until I dated a girl with sensitive skin (or at least skin with sufficiently different pH, I guess? I'm not a chemist), who complained that my skin 'burned' her, and showed me the redness. (This happened overnight, not instantly. I noticed nothing myself. But the marks were visible. And she was no delicate flower: Her hobby was swordfighting, and when she broke her arm doing that, she drove herself to the hospital -- in a stickshift.) Nothing electronic behaves strangely around me, at least not that I've ever noticed. The only other thing besides that one girl's complaint that I've noticed is that a lot of fabrics just kind of rot on me. I can't own clothes for years and years, like many people can. They just don't last. :(

Xcott: I know people who think they have dreams at night, despite having zero evidence that this ever really happens.


I can't believe people bit on that for you. I underestimated the finesse of your subtle command of irony, and I am humbled.

theodopolis13: everyone that listens to 'coast to coast am with george noory'? (new window)


Whoa, whoa, whoa there. Can you possibly concede for even one moment that there is NOTHING else listenable on all-night radio? That the bands have become a fetid wasteland of enraged haters, diabetic pop, stunningly flabby 'country' music, and drunk college students? That it is *only* the quizzical tone of the inestimable Mr. Noory and his entertainingly bizarre guests and astoundingly crazy callers that can keep me awake for 500 miles running? I want to get to D.C. alive, buster. Alive and stupid, if necessary, but alive all the same.

wambu: Or that FARK is really a news site?


It used to clearly say that it wasn't, but *someone* has disappeared that now.

ZombiesYall: all the US presidents have been directly related to the British monarchy


My father's also an amateur genealogist (of the sort who goes to meetings and such, not just a guy thumbing through old newspapers or whatnot), and tells me that there's some truth to this, though it's not the kind that people seem to think it is, and that it's actually just a fact, with no special significance. I don't pretend to understand it, but it's got to do with how pretty much everyone in Europe is vaguely related, most Americans are at least partly of European descent, and pretty much all U.S. presidents come from those groups. But the sheer commonality of it renders the basic fact of it meaningless. I'm related to Prince Charles and Jimmy Carter, for example. But so are thousands of other people. It's a fact, just not a significant or meaningful one.

ironrat: My last boss believed that Timothy McVeigh committed a legitimate act of protest by killing all those people and that most of the worlds problems could be solved if you just killed enough Jews.


The first person I ever fired was a girl who had no sense of humour. (Creepy? O, you bet. She did laugh when people got hurt or embarrassed, though.) She told me once that if your boss orders you to commit a crime, you're not responsible. I told her that there had been a world-famous trial about that in 1945. She didn't see what anything "that long ago" had to do with it. (I fired her for stealing, by the way, but she was a psychopath and I would have fired for anything I thought I could. I just wanted to be as far away from her as possible.)
 
2012-02-23 12:50:04 AM  

KarmicDisaster: You guys are seriously scaring me.

OK, I know some vitaminophiles. They don't go to the doctor, they think that taking mass quantities of all types of vitamins will keep you healthy and cure you. Also that there is a conspiracy between The Doctors and The Drug Companies to suppress the knowledge of vitamins and other Secret Nutritional Substances and keep you sick. Dinner for them consists of a bowl or plate of assorted vitamins, garlic pills, fish oils, ginseng pills, trace elements pills, metal pills and more pills and maybe a piece of bread.


My Dad's second wife was one of these. Aside from being obsessed with the Baba Muktanada, she was utterly convinced that any illness was caused by a vitamin deficiency of some sort.

CSB

Her son was a prodigy at Baseball. Expert pitcher. He had thrown a record pitch at 80+ MPH in the 7th grade, had thrown a few no-hitters and was being supported in his game by a couple of professional players, (personal coaching, special summer camps, etc) and was considered to be a real up and coming star.

When he got into high school, his mother took him to a sports medicine specialist, his bones were growing fast and his adolescence was repeatedly punctuated by strep throat, bladder and skin infections. Really I think normal early teenage illnesses that everyone gets. Aching bones, cold sores, zits and the like. Probably some issues caused by the fact that he was out in the back yard, throwing about 250 pitches a day into a catch net.

The doctor told her that the kid needed to back off spending so much time playing the sport, and to allow him to grow up a bit and adjust to his new body as a normal teenager. He then recommended a vitamin regimen to help the boy continue to play. His mom took this information, decided the doctor was only prescribing the minimum necessary and pretty much increased the dosages by several times what the Doctor had recommended.

Within a month Kid had become very ill. His mom increased dosages again. Kid ended up puking his guts out, and was pissing needles. So his mom took him to some general family practice type. The Doc immediately put Kid in the hospital, put him in dialysis, put big bottles of fluid into his arms, and they were looking at a possible liver transplant for a couple of weeks.

Turns out Mom had massively overdosed the Kid on vitamin A and E, and the huge quantities of vitamin C and the mineral supplements and all the other herbal crap she was feeding him were totally messing him up. He almost died. His mom never was willing to accept the idea that she caused it, and any attempt at discussion was violently shouted down. Kid never did play baseball again after that. Not seriously anyway. He never totally regained his health and a month in the hospital with his mom screaming at the Doctors the whole time probably put him off it.

Why my pop married that crazy biatch I will never understand.

/CSB
 
2012-02-23 12:52:24 AM  

camaroash: Why is it that I've never seen a single White Supremacist who was superior in any form?


They're probably racists in the first place because they need a reason to feel better than everyone else, and they don't exactly have any legitimate ones.
 
2012-02-23 12:55:26 AM  

Max Awesome: and that ginger guys tend to have large penises.


I'm a male ginger and I'm for extending this rumor as far as it will go.

/It's actually true in my case
//What? It is!
 
2012-02-23 12:55:34 AM  
I used to work with the dumbest man in the world. Example: the first time I met him, he had bandages on both sides of his hand. When I asked him what happened, he said "I was trying to drill through this piece of wood... He also thought the plural of "tooth" was "tufas". Occasionally, I would pick him up and take him to work. We used to drive past a military airfield to get to work. One day, we're driving past it, and he says, "You know... airplanes take off from that airfield, but they never land there." I don't think I said another word to him for the rest of the day.
 
2012-02-23 01:06:50 AM  

Bucky Katt: wait, they didn't?


Depends on exactly what you mean. When the Cylons destroyed the Twelve Colonies, Commander Adama led the survivors in a ragtag fleet on an epic voyage lasting years, until they finally arrived at the Lost Colony of Earth in 1980 (our calendar). The story kind of falls apart after that, but the salient point is that that was the *second* time Colonials had come to Earth. The first ones were the founders from the Lost Colony, who arrived thousands of years ago, founding the cultures of the ancient Egyptians, Aztecs, Toltecs, and Mayans. The modern Colonials still bear many of the ancient symbols that would be familiar to many people of Earth. You could call that coincidence, if the Chronicles had not recorded that Earth is descended from Colonials.

Though the Colonials are far more advanced technologically than we are, they maintain many profound spiritual beliefs, including prophesies. Their beliefs would seem quaint to many of us, but they have been routinely validated. For example, Adama predicted that the fleet would reach Earth, and it did. It wasn't mere bluster on his part: he spoke from his faith in the prophesies that they would one day be rejoined with the Lost Colony, and recognised the signs.

By this point, you may have noticed the similarity between 'Adama' and a certain famous leader of Earth. Would that be coincidence also?

PlatypusPuke: Sure, 99.99% of all conspiracy claims are unfounded without any evidence to support them, but perhaps the idea that SOMETHING has to be going on behind the scenes is what fuels the average conspiracy theorist (if there's such a thing as "average" in this context).


I find your theory compelling. It does require some cognitive dissonance, but that's clearly very common.

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: I believe that Maria Schriver only married Arnold Schwarznegger because they were trying to build a bullet-proof Kennedy.


I can't think of anything even remotely clever enough to do that justice, sir, so I won't try. Here's your Internet.
 
2012-02-23 01:12:39 AM  
A friend I had growing up went off to school in NYC and came back after 1 or 2 semesters. I haven't been able to stand being near him for more than 10 minutes since due to the crazy he brought back with him.
-It started out with the Zodiac, he always wanted to tell me about the Zodiac and how it controls fate.
-Then it was the Government. The Government is reading and watching everything--stop texting him, the Government is reading the texts. Don't email him, the Government is reading email. Understand: Not just HIS texts or emails or whatever, EVERYONE'S.
-Then it was Reptillians. Earth is controlled by Reptillians, who are aliens who are disguised as humans. The royals of Europe are all Reptillians, that's why they intermarry, because they can't mate with humans. The Bushes are Reptillians, Larry King is a Reptillian. It wasn't until maybe 2 years after he started talking about Reptillians that I first saw the original 1980s V, and I was floored; I wanted to rent it and tell him I had a cool movie to watch so that I could confront him and tell him that his delusions were the plot of a shiatty, shiatty, 1980s miniseries.
-Simultaneous to the Reptillians was magnetic fields. He kept talking abou the body's magnetic energy and he gave me these cheapo plastic rings with magnets in them that he bought from alexchiu.com and if I would wear these rings while I sleep, they would make me immortal. Immortal! And I wouldn't need contacts anymore! And they cured his dog of tumors!
-We shared a garden in his yard. I did all the work and he did all the wrecking my work. He would pick yellow tomatoes because they looked so luscious and wonderful, take one bite right there in the yard, and toss them. He argued with me to stop watering the garden because I was making the plants weak, and he refused to allow me to use any sort of pest control chemicals despite the entire crop being ruined around us. I would plant something, say sage, and he would insist it was something else. He would start seeds outside in December because they would be "stronger" by Spring than the seeds started in better conditions (they all died, duh).

Lately all he talks about is growing everything he eats. He's turning his entire yard into a garden. But he doesn't cook so he won't grow anything that you can't just eat raw, and he has no clue how to grow anything. He thinks that he can take a packet of hybridized Burpee seeds that have been enginneered and/or bred to grow in very specific conditions and just touch-love them into becoming "strong." He plants carrot seeds--which should be planted in less than 1/4 inch of soil--and plants them 4 inches deep, then rants about how they were weak when they never sprout. He does that same thing with every plant, buries it and says he's encouraging a "deep taproot" but taproots aren't some universal thing, and when I explain basic principles like that to him, he just tells me that I'll see.
 
2012-02-23 01:16:10 AM  
A friend of mine worked with a guy who was one of those illness one-uppers. You know the type: You've got a cough, he's got the plague.

He was also highly impressionable. Whenever anyone had any kind of symptom, he had the same thing, or similar. Only worse, of course.

One day, one of his cow-orkers complained of some vague symptoms, and Supersick said he had them, too. The first guy then said, "I think I might have come down with a touch of hypochondria." Supersick agreed that he must have it, too.

Then: "You too, huh? You know what I heard is good for that? Placebos. I might stop by the pharmacy on my way home and pick some up. Maybe you should, too."
 
2012-02-23 01:18:21 AM  
Sure, I know lots of nutbars.
They all believe a career politician can actually be honest, wouldn't lie, cheat, or steal from everybody.
 
2012-02-23 01:26:57 AM  
I'm on this guy's shiat list: Gary Gevisser - 2facetruth.com

Actually his conspiracy theories are so tortuous I'm not quite sure what he believes.
 
2012-02-23 01:29:26 AM  
No, luckily.

But I'd sure like to creep in at midnight and burn down the sh*tass church I used to go to that blared
that lying insanity-inducing filth of the New World Order in my ears, a foulness so twisted, demented, wretched, vile, and stupid that even Satan would disown it.
 
2012-02-23 01:35:13 AM  
This goes somewhere, I promise

I learned Iraqi Arabic from Iraqi refugees, many of whom had some odd beliefs about the world and daily life. Not like hurr durrr Islam, but like wtf wackiness. They got these teachers from anywhere. An OB-GYN, computer scientist, car salesman, housewife, former military translators (they were the best!), and random passers-by I believe. This one guy, a marsh Arab, flips out in the middle of class as if I had just shoved my headphones in my ass during lecture. He was a bit perturbed. Why?

"ya Basma (my Arabic nick-name to make class seem more authentic or something), you cannot do this!"
"Do what?"
"That is trash you will be sickened from drinking from trash!!"
...... lolwut?!
"The bottles, they have numbers on the bottom in the triangles ya Basma. These numbers are for how many days you may use the bottle."
......"no. no that's wrong, you see those numbers refer to the grade or type of plastic used I believe, and for recycling...
"DO NOT CHALLENGE ME! You will die I am saving you don't you know anything about the plastic bottles they will kill you ya Basma...."

I was drinking one of those mix it in a water bottle gatorade packs with drinking tap water. I had been using the same bottle for two days now, usually until it gets bent up from repeated tap refilling, which I would do every hour from boredom rendering it's life 3-4 days. An Aquafina bottle, the kind that cost maybe 99 cents or whatever. Drinking it after refilling it!!! I guess that when I opened the bottle it began a magic count-down of hours for viable use, and by putting water back in the evil bottle I was killing myself. Well damn man, no problem! I had a camelbak, I just hated cleaning the damn thing. Even though I do not and will not believe the bottle will kill me, I have learned better than to argue with Arabs, time to check out the alternative bottle and save time from the oncoming bottle biatchfest.

"OK, so what about this" (I hold up my camelbak, which is grade 5 or whatever)
"....No, you may only use that for 5 days... see it has a 5 on the bottom.. 5 days."

I hate to think of all the plastic ware this man has disposed of over the years

/why would you ever believe this?
 
2012-02-23 01:43:39 AM  
Wow. Sylvia_Bandersnatch, I'm impressed. Your last post was really well-written, especially your reply to profplump. You handled that deftly, without being insulting or condescending. With replies to so many different posts, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but you maintained a high level of excellence throughout. I "Smart"ed it immediately, because right or wrong (and I don't believe it was wrong), it was elegantly said.

I had you Farkied in red with the title "Cop Apologist",. I don't remember why, but I'll be amending that description, to something like "Still a Cop Apologist, but Well-Written, Erudite, and Intelligent Otherwise. Oh, and Succinct. Unlike this Farkie". It'll have to do, until I figger out how to shorten it. :)
 
2012-02-23 01:45:17 AM  
Sylvia_Bandersnatch, it looks like our love-letters crossed in the mail. :)
 
2012-02-23 01:47:23 AM  
I know a woman who's truly terrified if she expresses her opposition to gay marriage to me, I'll have her thrown in jail for a hate crime. She knows I know she's against it, but she firmly believe there's a "gay agenda," and that I'm fully aware of it and we have occasional communications.
 
2012-02-23 01:52:13 AM  

wudu5: Late as usual
I knew someone who believed that if you remove the wrapping (with the writing on it) from a carbonated drink, the drink will become flat, even if the bottle was unopened.


That's true,if you leave it out in the sun.

/will also go flat with the wrapping on it if you leave it out in the sun, but it's slower.
 
2012-02-23 02:06:29 AM  
Eleven years ago, I briefly knew a young woman who sincerely believed she was the reincarnation of the mad scientist from Final Fantasy 7, which was possible because video games and anime were ... mystically inspired revelations of some real, distant worlds or something. WTF. She walked around in a dirty lab coat and pretended to do wizard science, among other completely monkeyfark ridiculous psychoses.

ED has a sampling of the crazy (new window, somewhat NSFW).
 
2012-02-23 02:08:19 AM  
"How many people remember, a couple of years ago, when the Earth blew up? How many people? See? So few people remember. And you would think that something like that, people would remember. But NOOO! You don't remember that? The Earth blew up and was completely destroyed? And we escaped to this planet on the giant Space Ark? Where have you people been? And the government decided not to tell the stupider people 'cause they thought that it might affect-- [dawning realization, looks around] Ohhhh! Okay! Uh, let's move on!"

-Steve Martin
 
2012-02-23 02:09:09 AM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Sylvia_Bandersnatch, it looks like our love-letters crossed in the mail. :)


Pics of nutty love beliefs or it didn't happen. :)
 
2012-02-23 02:20:36 AM  
I was once a reporter, so I went along to see this famous anti-gay Christian preacher.

His talk was priceless lunacy, but what stood out was his theory that New Zealand is a British country, and the Queen is the head of the Church of England, therefore New Zealand is a Christian country, and therefore the Members of Parliament that don't swear on the Bible when they are inaugurated are guilty of treason. I suppressed a snicker.
 
2012-02-23 02:21:44 AM  

The Jami Turman Fan Club: wudu5: Late as usual
I knew someone who believed that if you remove the wrapping (with the writing on it) from a carbonated drink, the drink will become flat, even if the bottle was unopened.

That's true,if you leave it out in the sun.

/will also go flat with the wrapping on it if you leave it out in the sun, but it's slower.



You guys reminded me of something my cousins used to believe when we were kids. Coors bottle labels used to have a series of one to four dots on the back. They were probably printing codes. My cousins believed that if you could peel a rare four-dotter off the bottle perfectly, and get a girl to sign it, she legally had to put out. Seriously.
 
2012-02-23 02:25:12 AM  
I think I might be crazy.

I believe that Iran is going to use their space program Link to put a nuclear weapon Link into orbit and then recreate Starfish Prime Link somewhere over the United States.

They threaten us so much it has almost become a joke. You can't tell me that Mahmoud would pass up an opportunity to deliver a one-punch deathblow to the "Great Satan". The man believes he is leading the Arab world into the apocalypse.

Ok, now lay it on me.
 
2012-02-23 02:29:58 AM  
I'm crazy too, I think I'll be the most powerful being in the universe.

Anyway, Art Bell retired from Coast to Coast AM years ago. It's George Noory now.

/maybe I'm serious
//I'm definitely drunk.
///mmmm.. rum...
 
2012-02-23 02:35:09 AM  

Sylvia_Bandersnatch: She told me once that if your boss orders you to commit a crime, you're not responsible. I told her that there had been a world-famous trial about that in 1945. She didn't see what anything "that long ago" had to do with it... she was a psychopath


oh man. a sociopath capable of almost anything, who honestly thought she could not be held responsible for her own actions under certain conditions? AND YOU LET HER JUST GO?

my god. you could have had soooooooooo much fun getting her to do something really unhinged. the kind of shiat that would have made national news kind of unhinged.

why in the world did you waste that kind of opportunity? why? seriously?
 
2012-02-23 02:48:57 AM  

CoolBeans: CoolBeans: Hold on - let me give my cousin a call...
...I swear he finds about five or six new ones each week.

...The last one I actually got from him was about crude oil is actually formed deep in the mantle and has nothing to do with the fossil-fuel theory held by most geologists.

Naturally, since I have a BS in geology and MS in marine geology, I was less than interested in discussing his latest theory.


an aboitic oil believer! I went on a date with one a few months ago. There was no second date.
 
2012-02-23 02:52:11 AM  

fanbladesaresharp: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Sylvia_Bandersnatch, it looks like our love-letters crossed in the mail. :)

Pics of nutty love beliefs or it didn't happen. :)


To paraphrase the Sergeant on M*A*S*H from another battalion who was trying to barter with Hawkeye and Radar for a bathtub, "I got images of my nutty love beliefs that would make a grown man cry". (sidelong glance at Radar) "Probly kill you"!

Didja move yet? I was in NorCal in January, but it was for my mom's funeral, so I was unsocial. Sorry bout that. Hopin' to be up that way in the next month or two. If so, I'll let ya know.
 
2012-02-23 02:59:54 AM  
Here on Maui we've got so many believers in some of these things that I feel like a minority sometimes.

Some of the most common:

9/11 was an inside job
chemtrails
vaccines cause autism
everything having to do with "The Secret"
UFO-related experiments on Haleakala
IRS is illegal

I have a client who is a millionaire business owner and generally a great guy. It turns out he believes in "end-times" Christianity and also, oddly, that tattoos are "Satan's symbol."

Most of the derp here is leftwing, but there are fundies too.
 
2012-02-23 03:11:18 AM  

Gordian Cipher: I knew somebody who was convinced that the plaque on your teeth was the same substance as the plaque in your arteries... and if you didn't brush your teeth, the plaque on your teeth would break off and migrate to your arteries, causing heart disease.

That was a new one for me.


That was actually what I was taught in dental assistant school. No idea how accurate it is, but I do know that gingivitis is related to heart disease, diabetes, and a host of other disease. Basically if you have heart disease, diabetes, HIV, etc you should get your teeth cleaned every four months instead of every six to prevent the bacteria from getting into your bloodstream.

/Concord Career Institute graduate
//certified EFDA and EFODA so the program couldn't be that bad
 
2012-02-23 03:16:19 AM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: fanbladesaresharp: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Sylvia_Bandersnatch, it looks like our love-letters crossed in the mail. :)

Pics of nutty love beliefs or it didn't happen. :)

To paraphrase the Sergeant on M*A*S*H from another battalion who was trying to barter with Hawkeye and Radar for a bathtub, "I got images of my nutty love beliefs that would make a grown man cry". (sidelong glance at Radar) "Probly kill you"!

Didja move yet? I was in NorCal in January, but it was for my mom's funeral, so I was unsocial. Sorry bout that. Hopin' to be up that way in the next month or two. If so, I'll let ya know.


Will be in 3 weeks. Drop me a line.
 
Displayed 50 of 457 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report