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(Chicago Sun-Times)   Santorum defends his Satan attacking America speech. Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy inconsolably left out of the limelight   (suntimes.com) divider line 58
    More: Fail, Rick Santorum, Satans, tooth fairies, United States of America, Santorum defends, Father of Lies, Santa Claus  
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1350 clicks; posted to Politics » on 22 Feb 2012 at 4:45 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-02-22 02:43:53 PM
9 votes:
My 4-yr old asked me the other day what Hell was. So I told her.

"Hell is an imaginary place that ignorant people use to scare each other."
2012-02-22 05:18:50 PM
3 votes:
While I feel that Rick Santorum is a schmuck and wrong about a great many things, I feel that his presence as the front runner in this race gives his "Satan attacking America" comment at least partial validity. Santorum, like nearly every other Presidential contender is tacitly evil half he time and explicitly evil the rest.

He belongs to a religion (one which I once shared) that has caused and continues to cause untold misery for the entire human race through genocide, coercion, dirty politics, corruption, lies, and the rape of children. It is a religion that has taken the teachings of Yeshua Ben Yusef and utterly perverted, ignored, or obfuscated them for selfish want of money and power. There are many within the church now who feel that there truly has recently been an invasion of the Holy See by demonic entities, but if that's the case I believe it probably goes back before Constantinople's time. Whether it is some supernatural force or just man's nature is entirely up for debate, but what is clear is that this is an organization that has taken everything their Messiah has taught and done the opposite in his name and for utterly selfish reasons. That is, by definition, Satanic (if not Luciferian). The same goes for most versions of Christendom, especially those with a Dominionist philosophy.

Anyways, whether or not Satan is real or myth is not a debate that is going to be settled on FARK. But what is undeniable is that there is true evil in this world, and people like Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Sarah Palin, and Michelle Bachman are proof of that. They speak from both sides of their mouths and while they claim to be followers of Yeshua they are clearly not followers of his philosophy. There is a line from scripture that says, "You shall know them by their works." Call it Satan or Evil or The Soulpoison of Selfishness- it doesn't matter. It's right there for all to see, and it is attacking not just America but the world.

/If Satan is real, I bet you dollars to doughnuts that he's not even the Big Bad Boss.
//If you were a 13+ billion year old military tactician and demigod, would you make sure everyone knew who you were? Or would you stick to the shadows and manipulate things covertly?
2012-02-22 10:00:37 PM
2 votes:
I've said it before, and I'll say it again.. until Churches and other religious types start paying taxes, they need to keep their religion out of politics.
2012-02-22 05:39:19 PM
2 votes:
If he's such a "devout Catholic", how come there's no dirt on his face today?
2012-02-22 05:25:57 PM
2 votes:

santadog: dallylamma: [www.edmontonjournal.com image 620x400]

They look miserable.
And I HATE when he points with his knuckle.

/hates all knuckle pointers.


Holy shiat. Ricky's daughter looks like some kind of Twilight fangirl reject. *shudder*
2012-02-22 05:04:04 PM
2 votes:

dallylamma: [www.edmontonjournal.com image 620x400]


That man's entire family looks like they resent being there with him. It's not just the teenage girls being teenage girls either. It looks like they seriously can't stand their father, and have realized what a piece of shiat has raised them. His wife looks very unsatisfied as well, in every possible meaning of that statement.
2012-02-22 05:01:31 PM
2 votes:

Jake Havechek: Ah, "corruption of culture". I'm sure if you went back far enough you'd find some old Sumerians biatching about how all the kids want to do is dance and have sex.



"The children now love luxury; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are tyrants, not servants of the households. They no longer rise when their elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize over their teachers." - Hesiod, 8th century B.C. Greece
2012-02-22 05:00:45 PM
2 votes:

The Stealth Hippopotamus: See the headline now: Religious fundie believes the whole bible, does not pick and choose the parts he likes


I think he missed the "love your neighbor" bits, and I'm pretty sure in some of the photos I've seen he's been wearing a cotton/poly blend and therefore should be asking us to stone him to death.
2012-02-22 05:00:10 PM
2 votes:
"The Father of Lies has his sights on what you would think the Father of Lies, Satan, would have his sights on..."

Yes, Satan is is such a master deceiver, he always does exactly what you think he would do. Because that's how you deceive people.
2012-02-22 04:57:05 PM
2 votes:
Somebody needs to tell this f*cking clown to stop talking about stupid homosexuality and satan and start discussing real world problems, like why you married a a f*cking horse or explain to me how there can be a decent god while people are forced to listen to some retard (you, Santorum) run his mouth constantly about shiat that's not important.

Don't like homosexual marriage? Don't get one.

Don't believe in abortion? Don't have one.

Don't fear some invisible omnipotent god who simply put us here to test us after giving us free will who loves you dearly but always needs money and will send you to the fiery pits of hell for all eternity if you go against his wishes?

/see how retarded you are, ricky?
2012-02-22 03:40:56 PM
2 votes:
way to go Ricky. double down on the crazy.
2012-02-22 02:20:21 PM
2 votes:
the fact that a whose every action is driven by a bronze-age death cult is this close to becoming the leader of the free world should scare the shiat out of anyone with a brain.
2012-02-22 08:42:35 PM
1 votes:

Agneska: Liberals: "OMG! That Santorum guy like believes in Satan and stuff. Is he like one of those religious fundies. OMG! I don't like Christians. They're like crazy with their bibles and guns. So backwards. OMG! Let's go to the mall and buy some burkas."


Lulz
2012-02-22 08:19:20 PM
1 votes:

Cubicle Jockey: Jake Havechek: Ah, "corruption of culture". I'm sure if you went back far enough you'd find some old Sumerians biatching about how all the kids want to do is dance and have sex.


"The children now love luxury; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are tyrants, not servants of the households. They no longer rise when their elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize over their teachers." - Hesiod, 8th century B.C. Greece


Isn't there one from Sumeria that's similar but includes everyone wanting to be a writer? I like that one.
2012-02-22 07:42:39 PM
1 votes:

Philip Francis Queeg: spongeboob: Philip Francis Queeg: ItsMyNameYouCantHaveIt: santadog: dallylamma: [www.edmontonjournal.com image 620x400]



oops I forgot the years she lived steeped in sin. I should have said "Since she got married, his wife has never had sex except for the times she got pregnant."


So you admit you are forgetting what Santorum wants you to forget. Don't look into his eyes, he has got his mojo working on you.
2012-02-22 07:01:40 PM
1 votes:

skullkrusher: Agneska: Liberals: "OMG! That Santorum guy like believes in Satan and stuff. Is he like one of those religious fundies. OMG! I don't like Christians. They're like crazy with their bibles and guns. So backwards. OMG! Let's go to the mall and buy some burkas."

pretty sure forced burka wearing is quite a bit worse than belief in Satan.... to everyone


Depends. Can we force all fat people to wear burkas at the beach? That's okay with me.
2012-02-22 06:30:36 PM
1 votes:
F*ck this clown. On one hand he's crying, "keep the government out of my religion", while on the other hand, he would be trying to stick his religious views in to governing the United States.

/YOU CAN"T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS TRICKY RICKY!!!!!!

/ /gave him too much credit. he's not smart enough to be tricky. Strike that.
2012-02-22 06:20:56 PM
1 votes:

James!: The Stealth Hippopotamus: See the headline now: Religious fundie believes the whole bible, does not pick and choose the parts he likes

I like "Grown ass adult believes in monsters".


Somebody, please, photoshop this as a headline on the NYT front page. I'd do it but my pixels are terrible.
2012-02-22 06:09:47 PM
1 votes:
Jackie Robinson! You're not really going to steal home are you? Against the Yankees? In the first game of the World Series against the Yankees? Oh my God, he's going, going, SAFE! Yogi Berra doesn't think so and is arguing with the ump..... What do you mean it's not 1955????????? Oh, Santorum's world view warped my time dimension again.
2012-02-22 05:56:15 PM
1 votes:
Not really a big believer in the debil, but if it were me I'd just leave things alone, no evil or cruelty I could think up wouldn't be topped by some human in ten minutes, and I'd get the souls either way. The Christians never depict him that way though, do they? It is always about getting to the faithful. A pity the faithful seem to've taken care of that themselves, a little too little "turn the other cheek" and "What you do to the least you do to me." and a lot more "GOD HATES" and "Punish the different".
2012-02-22 05:47:41 PM
1 votes:

radarlove:
He belongs to a religion (one which I once shared) that has caused and continues to cause untold misery for the entire human race through genocide, coercion, dirty politics, corruption, lies, and the rape of children. It is a religion that has taken the teachings of Yeshua Ben Yusef and utterly perverted, ignored, or obfuscated them for selfish want of money and power. There are many within the church now who feel that there truly has recently been an invasion of the Holy See by demonic entities, but if that's the case I believe it probably goes back before Constantinople's time. Whether it is some supernatural force or just man's nature is entirely up for debate, but what is clear is that this is an organization that has taken everything their Messiah has taught and done the opposite in his name and for utterly selfish reasons. That is, by definition, Satanic (if not Luciferian). The same goes for most versions of Christendom, especially those with a Dominionist philosophy.


Sharia Law and Theocracy - one and the same.
2012-02-22 05:44:53 PM
1 votes:

Cuthbert Allgood: Jesus Christ people!! Is this really who we want leading our country?


No.
2012-02-22 05:42:36 PM
1 votes:

spongeboob: Philip Francis Queeg: ItsMyNameYouCantHaveIt: santadog: dallylamma: [www.edmontonjournal.com image 620x400]

They look miserable.
And I HATE when he points with his knuckle.

/hates all knuckle pointers.

seriously, why is it that in every photo I've seen of his family they seem just........just SAD?

Well his wife has never had sex except for the times she got pregnant.


Wow she lived with the abortion doctor who deleivered and never put out. She must be a saint, changes my mind about Ricky.


oops I forgot the years she lived steeped in sin. I should have said "Since she got married, his wife has never had sex except for the times she got pregnant."
2012-02-22 05:41:00 PM
1 votes:

Philip Francis Queeg: ItsMyNameYouCantHaveIt: santadog: dallylamma: [www.edmontonjournal.com image 620x400]

They look miserable.
And I HATE when he points with his knuckle.

/hates all knuckle pointers.

seriously, why is it that in every photo I've seen of his family they seem just........just SAD?

Well his wife has never had sex except for the times she got pregnant.



Wow she lived with the abortion doctor who deleivered and never put out. She must be a saint, changes my mind about Ricky.
2012-02-22 05:38:59 PM
1 votes:

FlashHarry: the fact that a whose every action is driven by a bronze-age death cult is this close to becoming the leader of the free world should scare the shiat out of anyone with a brain.


i.imgur.com
2012-02-22 05:38:59 PM
1 votes:

dallylamma: [www.edmontonjournal.com image 620x400]


Does anyone in that family ever smile?
2012-02-22 05:26:58 PM
1 votes:
Why would Satan have any particular problem with a given nation-state again? Laws and such aren't necessarily inherently moral form a Christian perspective, whether you're free to do 100 on the highway or restricted to 60 has little impact on whether you're engaging in murder, adultery, etc.
2012-02-22 05:21:22 PM
1 votes:

RumsfeldsReplacement: So he thinks that smart people and Protestants are tools of Satan as well? That should go over well in the general election......


As a (non practicing) protestant in a HUGELY Catholic area, my co-workers think I'm Satan every Friday during lent as I heat up my left over steak, pork or whatever through lent. ;)
2012-02-22 05:20:31 PM
1 votes:

Philip Francis Queeg: Well his wife has never had sex except for the times she got pregnant.


you know, everything else about santorum aside- that is the creepiest part about him to me. He refuses to engage in any intamacy with his wife unless making kids. There's just something that sets off my "uncanny valley" senses when i think about that.
2012-02-22 05:17:08 PM
1 votes:

ItsMyNameYouCantHaveIt: santadog: dallylamma: [www.edmontonjournal.com image 620x400]

They look miserable.
And I HATE when he points with his knuckle.

/hates all knuckle pointers.

seriously, why is it that in every photo I've seen of his family they seem just........just SAD?


Well his wife has never had sex except for the times she got pregnant.
2012-02-22 05:17:03 PM
1 votes:

Createwolf: Coco LaFemme :

I bet you can find some ones where they look happy just GIS "happy Santorum"


Not falling for that one. Besides, I think if any of them are caught smiling on camera, they get beaten and locked in the basement.
2012-02-22 05:14:39 PM
1 votes:

Guidette Frankentits: "You know, I'm a person of faith. I believe in good and evil,"

Wow, I've never heard of any of these mundane concepts. I wonder if Santorum's next quest is the be the champion of butt wiping.


He doesn't just believe in good an evil, he believes in a bat-winged super-spirit and his legion of spirit henchmen going around tempting and possessing people. He's stuck in Carl Sagan's demon haunted world, thinking there's a devil hiding behind every rock and blade of grass out to get him. Him saying he "just believes in good and evil, hey everyone does" is a little disingenuous.
2012-02-22 05:13:56 PM
1 votes:

dallylamma: [www.edmontonjournal.com image 620x400]


What a sad, depressed, morose group of people. Good grief. They look positively broken.
2012-02-22 05:12:51 PM
1 votes:

santadog: dallylamma: [www.edmontonjournal.com image 620x400]

They look miserable.
And I HATE when he points with his knuckle.

/hates all knuckle pointers.


seriously, why is it that in every photo I've seen of his family they seem just........just SAD?
2012-02-22 05:10:59 PM
1 votes:

Don't Troll Me Bro!: dallylamma: [www.edmontonjournal.com image 620x400]

That man's entire family looks like they resent being there with him. It's not just the teenage girls being teenage girls either. It looks like they seriously can't stand their father, and have realized what a piece of shiat has raised them. His wife looks very unsatisfied as well, in every possible meaning of that statement.


The one on the left, Gina "TinyFace" Santorum, kinda scares me. The one on the right is a-ok. I'd be happy to give her a little vocabulary lesson, starting with her last name.
2012-02-22 05:09:12 PM
1 votes:

santadog: [img690.imageshack.us image 513x640]


YES.
2012-02-22 05:06:25 PM
1 votes:
Satan attacks are teh weak sauce.
2012-02-22 05:02:55 PM
1 votes:
Did you know that heaven and hell are actually right next to each other? They are separated by a big chain-link fence. Well, one day hell was having a big party and it got a little out of hand. God heard the ruckus and arrived to find his fence completely smashed by the wild partiers. He called the devil over and said "Look, Satan , you have to rebuild this fence." Satan agreed. The next day God noticed that the devil had completely rebuilt the fence...but it was 2 feet further into heaven than before.

" Satan !" beckoned God. "You have to take that fence down and put it back where it belongs!"

"Yeah? What if I don't?" replied the devil.

"I'll sue your ass off, if I have to," answered God.
"Sure," laughed Satan . "Where are you going to find a lawyer?"
leavinglaw.files.wordpress.com
2012-02-22 05:01:41 PM
1 votes:
img690.imageshack.us
2012-02-22 05:00:15 PM
1 votes:
Lies make the baby Jesus cry.
2012-02-22 04:58:35 PM
1 votes:

Cuthbert Allgood: Jesus Christ people!! Is this really who we want leading our country?


It's who about 1/3 of 1/3 of the country VERY MUCH wants leading.
2012-02-22 04:57:37 PM
1 votes:

Jake Havechek: dallylamma: [www.edmontonjournal.com image 620x400]

The girl on the far right hand side has the same expression on her face she did when he made his concession speech.


The only thing missing is her Catholic school uniform.

/and her doll
2012-02-22 04:57:35 PM
1 votes:

dallylamma: [www.edmontonjournal.com image 620x400]


Gods above and below, if that's his family, they look SO miserable.
2012-02-22 04:56:45 PM
1 votes:

Cuthbert Allgood: Jesus Christ people!! Is this really who we want leading our country?


Yes, a proportion of Americans want Jesus Christ People leading the country. Sorry. :(
2012-02-22 04:56:33 PM
1 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.com

Santorum's head speechwriter
2012-02-22 04:55:42 PM
1 votes:

gilgigamesh: kbronsito: Santorum goes on to say that Satan has been "most successful and first successful" in attacking academia because "he understood the pride of smart people."


So remember kids... being stupid is the only way to avoid becoming an instrument of Satan.

The greatest trick Satan plays on smart people is to implant the notion that he is a fairie tale who doesn't actually exist.

Oh that tricky, tricky Satan.


When christians use that line on me, I like to counter with, "No, the greatest trick he ever pulled was convincing the world that he lost the War in Heaven. You call him the Prince of Lies; now that is a damn princely lie right there."

Scares the bejeezus out of them. I love it.
2012-02-22 04:54:49 PM
1 votes:
Ah, "corruption of culture". I'm sure if you went back far enough you'd find some old Sumerians biatching about how all the kids want to do is dance and have sex.
2012-02-22 04:53:54 PM
1 votes:

Jake Havechek: dallylamma: [www.edmontonjournal.com image 620x400]

The girl on the far right hand side has the same expression on her face she did when he made his concession speech.


Those are the facial expressions of cult members who know they'll never get out alive.
2012-02-22 04:51:57 PM
1 votes:
So he thinks that smart people and Protestants are tools of Satan as well? That should go over well in the general election......
2012-02-22 04:51:40 PM
1 votes:
Anyone who would actually cast a vote for this insane clown is certified bat-shiat crazy and should have their voter registration revoked.
2012-02-22 04:51:23 PM
1 votes:
www.yourprops.com

Well sure Satan has the US. Fek'lhr obviously got the plum choice of Europe.
2012-02-22 04:51:12 PM
1 votes:

dallylamma: [www.edmontonjournal.com image 620x400]


The girl on the far right hand side has the same expression on her face she did when he made his concession speech.
2012-02-22 04:28:28 PM
1 votes:
Can Iran sue him for trademark infringement?
2012-02-22 04:07:57 PM
1 votes:

Weaver95: way to go Ricky. double down on the crazy.


My grandma who is 91 years old says she has never seen anyone this insane running for president. She had to stop watching the news because it made her want to throw things and bending over to pick up pieces of glass is not easy for her anymore.
2012-02-22 03:30:58 PM
1 votes:
Santorum's success in the primaries is a giant troll perpetrated by people who are just trying to get the most unelectable candidate on the ballot for the general election, right?

...Please?
2012-02-22 02:47:36 PM
1 votes:
I had hoped nobody is really going for this guy's spewage, but someone posted an link to an article on FB and agreed with Santorum. I don't see her status updates anymore.
2012-02-22 02:30:04 PM
1 votes:
Santorum goes on to say that Satan has been "most successful and first successful" in attacking academia because "he understood the pride of smart people."


So remember kids... being stupid is the only way to avoid becoming an instrument of Satan.
2012-02-22 02:22:19 PM
1 votes:

The Stealth Hippopotamus: See the headline now: Religious fundie believes the whole bible, does not pick and choose the parts he likes


I like "Grown ass adult believes in monsters".
 
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