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(All Dead Mormons Are Now Gay)   Has a Mormon posthumously baptized someone you know, love or respect? Now you can fight back by posthumously "choosing" homosexuality for one of their loved ones   (alldeadmormonsarenowgay.com) divider line 378
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14136 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Feb 2012 at 11:13 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-02-22 11:31:13 AM

The 4chan Psychiatrist: How is this any different from calling someone a f--got?

The implication from this is is that being gay is something terrible, a stigma which people have been working very hard to fight for the last 50 years or so (openly, at any rate...)


Wait, when Mormons baptize the dead is the implication that Mormonism is bad? Maybe these pranksters think they're doing these dead gay Mormons a favor.
 
2012-02-22 11:31:59 AM

gerrymander: It is only immature and intolerant.


It's only immature when we do it as a joke, not when an entire organization of people do it for serious.

Get over yourself.
 
2012-02-22 11:32:27 AM
And I thought the puritans were bad...
 
2012-02-22 11:32:27 AM
So if, in baptism, you sprinkle water on someone's head, what do we sprinkle on the dead Mormons heads?
 
2012-02-22 11:33:03 AM

StopLurkListen: Mormons posthumously baptizing people makes a mockery of Pascal's Wager.

Don't Mormons WANT people to be religious?

"Screw making choices during my life to ensure a good afterlife ... The Mormons will cover for me"


Yeah, doesn't that disinsentivise actually practicing mormonism? Let's say my sister is Mormon. I don't have to pay the church shiat, follow their rules, respect their deity, be restricted to their alignment and spell source because she's got my back. It's not a smart plan for the church or their magical space god.
 
2012-02-22 11:33:22 AM

gerrymander: And somewhere, there's an outspoken anti-gay social conservative who will now have even more evidence that allowing homosexuality was the first step in a slippery slope: "See? First it was legal gay sex, then gay marriage. Now they want to defile the dead!"

This is neither appropriate nor funny. It is only immature and intolerant. Just stop.


You have no whimsey.
 
2012-02-22 11:33:42 AM
Dear Mormons (and people of all religious stripes),

Please take the following lesson from all of this. Your religion is and should be private, like having a large penis:

*Don't whip it out in public
*Stop trying to shove down peoples throats
*And for god sake, stop trying to use it on dead people.

So endeth the lesson.
 
2012-02-22 11:34:13 AM

StopLurkListen: Mormons posthumously baptizing people makes a mockery of Pascal's Wager.

Don't Mormons WANT people to be religious?

"Screw making choices during my life to ensure a good afterlife ... The Mormons will cover for me"


As if Pascal's Wager needed further mockery. Faith shouldn't be a matter of hedging your bets.

I like the programming language, though.
 
2012-02-22 11:34:34 AM

The My Little Pony Killer: It's still offensive that they would even think to do such a thing. It's not their choice to make, and they need to focus on their own damn families and people who have already *willingly* accepted their brand of lunacy.


From their point of view it's a very kind and caring act. They believe they're offering souls a way out of purgatory and into heaven, if they would like it.

There are a lot of things I dislike about Mormons and Mormonism, but this isn't one of them.
 
2012-02-22 11:35:14 AM
If mormons want to baptize me after I'm dead, they're welcome to it. I don't care.

Heck, if they want to tie marionette strings to my body and do a bawdy puppet show with my corpse .... Well, that'd just be awesomely hilarious actually...
 
2012-02-22 11:37:45 AM

natmar_76: The My Little Pony Killer: I would *hate* for Mormons to think that my grandparents were suddenly a part of their stupid religion. I don't have to believe in their idiocy to find it extremely disrespectful and distasteful of them to lay a claim on my deceased family members like that.

That's not how Mormons believe it works. The baptizing only presents the dead spirit with a choice of accepting Jesus and everything. They don't believe the baptizing automatically makes the baptized a Mormon.


Except they record their names as mormon and declare they are mormon. They declared Ben Franklin was a mormon before mormonism even existed! It's historical revisionism, even on a PERSONAL level and it should stop.
 
2012-02-22 11:37:57 AM
There is no undo



/you hear that Ronnie? NO UNDO!
 
2012-02-22 11:39:01 AM

natmar_76: The My Little Pony Killer: It's still offensive that they would even think to do such a thing. It's not their choice to make, and they need to focus on their own damn families and people who have already *willingly* accepted their brand of lunacy.

From their point of view it's a very kind and caring act. They believe they're offering souls a way out of purgatory and into heaven, if they would like it.

There are a lot of things I dislike about Mormons and Mormonism, but this isn't one of them.


The fact that they see it as kind and caring is what makes it so damn offensive.

It's creepy at best and totally intolerant of what anyone else believes at worst.
 
2012-02-22 11:39:41 AM

elffster: There is no undo



/you hear that Ronnie? NO UNDO!


Question, does this Gayification spell work on the living? I've got a list of celebrities starting with that Bieber lass I'd like to see get some gay on.
 
2012-02-22 11:40:04 AM

gerrymander: And somewhere, there's an outspoken anti-gay social conservative who will now have even more evidence that allowing homosexuality was the first step in a slippery slope: "See? First it was legal gay sex, then gay marriage. Now they want to defile the dead!"

This is neither appropriate nor funny. It is only immature and intolerant. Just stop.


themescompany.com
 
2012-02-22 11:40:12 AM
quoted from the other thread on this subject because it seems to apply here as well

"Posthumous baptism does not make you Mormon anymore than missionaries knocking on your door make you Mormon. That's all posthumous baptism is. Mormon's believe that you are given a chance after you die to again accept the gospel, however baptism is a physical requirement to continue on. So you can basically be chillin' at the pearly gates but can't go past even if you accept the gospel because you weren't baptized however someone can be baptized for you in proxy in this situation. It gives people the chance to accept the gospel and go on if they so choose in the afterlife.(You still have a choice, you can choose to stay exactly where you are if you want) The names are recorded on the rolls so hypothetically they are only done once (system needs work.) They however are not recorded as being Mormon, simply that the offer was made to them. Just like the missionaries record people they talk to. It basically boils down to Mormons want everyone to be able to go to heaven. They want everyone to know God and Christ and be in their presence and they are willing to suffer the social outrage and name calling to achieve this goal for others."
 
2012-02-22 11:42:32 AM
I think crying about Mormon proxy baptisms is idiotic but I'm fine with fighting imaginary fire with imaginary fire. I suspect Mormons will be more equanimous about this than many suddenly are (3+ greenlit aricles?) about their harmless and actually well-intentioned practice.
 
2012-02-22 11:42:42 AM
i560.photobucket.com

I love this ... so much.
 
2012-02-22 11:43:00 AM

jayhawk88: [ ] YES, Zombie Baptize me, so that I may join my loved ones in Paradise Eternal!

[ ] NO, I do not want to opt out of Zombie Baptism, I do not want to miss taking advantage of this incredible offer!


cache.ohinternet.com
 
2012-02-22 11:43:06 AM

OhLuverly: "Posthumous baptism does not make you Mormon anymore than missionaries knocking on your door make you Mormon. That's all posthumous baptism is. Mormon's believe that you are given a chance after you die to again accept the gospel, however baptism is a physical requirement to continue on. So you can basically be chillin' at the pearly gates but can't go past even if you accept the gospel because you weren't baptized however someone can be baptized for you in proxy in this situation. It gives people the chance to accept the gospel and go on if they so choose in the afterlife.(You still have a choice, you can choose to stay exactly where you are if you want) The names are recorded on the rolls so hypothetically they are only done once (system needs work.) They however are not recorded as being Mormon, simply that the offer was made to them. Just like the missionaries record people they talk to. It basically boils down to Mormons want everyone to be able to go to heaven. They want everyone to know God and Christ and be in their presence and they are willing to suffer the social outrage and name calling to achieve this goal for others."


Post this all you want but it doesn't seem to be doing anything to change the public perception that this is a ghoulish ritual. If people want to be uncomfortable with this, let them.
 
2012-02-22 11:43:38 AM

OhLuverly: they are willing to suffer the social outrage and name calling to achieve this goal for others."


Good, because I am still willing to call them creepy and intolerant. What a cocky cult they are.
 
2012-02-22 11:43:43 AM

CatfoodSpork: I don't see why people who are not Mormons care. Since I don't believe their stupid religion, why should I believe their baptisms have any effect on anything?

I mean, yeah, it affects my opinion of Mormons, but it's not like that had a long way down to fall.

If I make up my own religion where anyone I look at is autoconverted (according to the tenets of CatfoodSporkism) that doesn't mean they will REALLY be stuck all eternity in CatfoodSporkism-Hell.


Besides it is not like the Mormons are even Christian. Everybody knows they are some weird Native American pagan religion. So Jesus won't let them poach his dead guys like that, you can guarantee it.
 
2012-02-22 11:43:55 AM

Rashnu: well-intentioned


The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
 
2012-02-22 11:44:00 AM
I fall squarely in the "This is stupid but really funny" camp.
 
2012-02-22 11:44:07 AM

yequalsy: Many Jews are pretty pissed, that's for sure.


yeah, um... isn't that kinda like their "thing" to be offended by everything?

posthumous baptism should only offend someone if they believe it works.
 
2012-02-22 11:44:43 AM

yequalsy: fireclown: I'm not sure that this is helping anything.

On the one hand, it certainly doesn't improve civility in our public discourse. On the other hand, it will help both publicize and point out the absurdity of the Mormons' practice. Most people don't know about it and many would, I think, be offended to hear that their relative got posthumously baptized in a religion they didn't believe in. (Many Jews are pretty pissed, that's for sure.)



grumble . . .ok, maybe. This practice isn't really THAT secret, but I guess it should be more publicized.

FWIW, I don't think that you can really baptize someone against their will. I'm pretty sure that if my Methodist pastor baptized Bringham Young it wouldn't change his being Mormon.
 
2012-02-22 11:44:46 AM

cgraves67: Don't Troll Me Bro!: How about we don't stoop to that level. That's just petty.

My Grandma was converted to Mormon when she was a little girl (by her step father). When she grew up, she quit Mormonism. She was expelled from the church and her name struck from their big book o' baptized. However, her Mormon relatives saw fit to include her offspring (i.e. us) into their book. I don't subscribe to their brand of weirdness, so I'm not losing sleep over it.

I think that getting your panties in a wad over this is comparable to throwing a fit over a "witch" casting spells on you when you don't believe in magic. It's not something that a logical person should be concerned about.


Well see there is your problem, religious folk are not logical.
 
2012-02-22 11:44:47 AM

PonceAlyosha: elffster: There is no undo



/you hear that Ronnie? NO UNDO!

Question, does this Gayification spell work on the living? I've got a list of celebrities starting with that Bieber lass I'd like to see get some gay on.


It not only works on the living it works FABULOUSLY!

/so yah do that Bieber biatch, we're all waiting...
 
2012-02-22 11:45:13 AM
Now that "Mormon Heaven" has got teh ghey, I wonder how long it will take to redecorate.
 
2012-02-22 11:45:32 AM
This baptizing thing also helps them build these family trees with their obsessive love for geneology.

When they run into someone in the lineage that is not Mo, they submit the name to the temple, some kid doing his early temple work (between 8 and 10 yrs) gets dunked in an Oxen shaped pool thing about 20 times, each in the name of some dead person. Keep building the tree.
Work is done, keep moving through the ranks of the dead, finding non Mos... submit names, cycle continues... till EVERYONE is Mormon... at least in name.
 
2012-02-22 11:45:36 AM
Wow, some seriously constricted assholes in this thread. Learn to laugh.

I decided to fudge the targeting parameters and aimed it at Fred Phelps.
 
2012-02-22 11:45:40 AM

Fluorescent Testicle: Well, it is stupid and meaningless, but Goddamn I laughed like hell.

/The 28 wives of Joseph Smith, welcome to lesbianism.
//Have fun, take pictures.


28 women, one man...I'll suppose it was already so.

/from the Garden of Eden
 
2012-02-22 11:45:51 AM

gerrymander: This is neither appropriate nor funny. It is only immature and intolerant. Just stop.


memedepot.com

You know it's hot.
 
2012-02-22 11:46:01 AM
You know, I don't get this obsession with Mormon posthumous baptisms. True, it's an unusual practice, but it boils down to them formally acknowledging someone outside the faith is worthy of salvation. I don't see how that's somehow horribly disrespectful.

I might not believe that such baptisms are someone required for someone outside Mormonism to attain salvation. But I understand why they do it, and know they mean no harm by it. If a Mormon ever told me they were going to baptize my after I die, I'd probably consider it an honor that they viewed me as worthy of salvation, even if I don't believe in the actual power of posthumous baptisms.
 
2012-02-22 11:46:59 AM
culebra:

Post this all you want but it doesn't seem to be doing anything to change the public perception that this is a ghoulish ritual. If people want to be uncomfortable with this, let them.

You are absolutely correct, people can and will choose to be uncomfortable with this if they want. I can at least say I tried though.
 
2012-02-22 11:47:05 AM
For the FARKers saying 'who cares?':

It's not so much the religious overtones many of us are concerned with, it's the eventual history that's being manipulated here. At some point in the future, maybe in 100 or 200 years, will the Mormon church be able to claim that it was 6 million Mormons that died in the Holocaust? That Mormons were persecuted by the Catholic church during the Inquisition? That men like Albert Einstein, George Washington, and Ghandi were Mormon? We're already reached a point where Orwell's prediction about re-writing history to make to make the facts fit the 'truth' is happening right now. The general public already takes whatever's on Wikipedia as gospel, what's it going to be like in the future as the human race becomes more reliant on digital information and less on paper media?
 
2012-02-22 11:48:06 AM
Wilford Brimley - Can I make him gay before he dies?
Billy Barty - Gay (shortly)
SGM Joseph W. Daily, 5th Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps, now gay.
 
2012-02-22 11:48:08 AM
Jon Heder
 
2012-02-22 11:48:31 AM

DarwiOdrade: fireclown: I'm not sure that this is helping anything.

Yeah - not at all like the posthumous conversions that the Mormons are doing on holocaust victims that have been so helpful.


Hey, they all have their own planets now.

Has the "gay Mormon" site given anyone planet "Fabulous?"

Mormons: 1
Teh Ghey: 0
 
2012-02-22 11:50:57 AM
I used the "Choose a Mormon" option.

Thomas McFly, you are now gay. And your descendant is a time traveler.
 
2012-02-22 11:50:59 AM

They quietly did Hitler back in 1981.

The posthumous baptizing has an Interesting implication. Baptism wipes all of your sins clean, right? And if you are not baptized while alive, they will baptize you after your death, right?

Therefore, under NO circumstances should you allow Mormons to baptize you while alive. If they do so, then all your sins will thereafter accumulate, and you'll have trouble getting in to heaven. Whereas if you avoid baptism, then after death you're a shoo-in to heaven because "You are not accountable for your sins, because you were not baptized to receive the guidance of the Holy Ghost blah blah blah..."

Ask the Mormon missionaries about this some time, if you want to see a major head explosion. "Hey guys, every time you convert and baptize someone, you make it possible for them to go to hell. Leave them alone and they'll go to heaven."

 
2012-02-22 11:51:49 AM

TommyDeuce: So if, in baptism, you sprinkle water on someone's head, what do we sprinkle on the dead Mormons heads?


Glitter obviously. Or at least that's what some silly activists have been doing to Romney.
 
2012-02-22 11:53:26 AM

OhLuverly: culebra:

Post this all you want but it doesn't seem to be doing anything to change the public perception that this is a ghoulish ritual. If people want to be uncomfortable with this, let them.

You are absolutely correct, people can and will choose to be uncomfortable with this if they want. I can at least say I tried though.


Good on you, and I mean that. The truth is often underrated.
 
2012-02-22 11:54:26 AM

Non-evil Monkey: You know, I don't get this obsession with Mormon posthumous baptisms. True, it's an unusual practice, but it boils down to them formally acknowledging someone outside the faith is worthy of salvation. I don't see how that's somehow horribly disrespectful.


So you wouldn't have a problem with Satanists performing a ritual on your ancestor's grave to recruit them for the army of hell?
 
2012-02-22 11:54:33 AM

culebra: The names are recorded on the rolls so hypothetically they are only done once (system needs work.) They however are not recorded as being Mormon, simply that the offer was made to them.


[Citation needed]

Specifically, need a citation that the names are recorded differently in the roles than the names of living Mormons.
 
2012-02-22 11:55:12 AM

meanmutton: And it will affect them exactly as much as their post-death "baptism" will affect Helen Keller.

Can't we find something that actually matters to get butthurt over?


I only see one case of butthurt 'round here, and I'm replying to him.
 
2012-02-22 11:55:56 AM
Oh. My. God. I wish I'd had this idea six years ago, so when they showed up at my mother's WAKE to ask me if I minded, I could have said, "Only if you don't mind me publically declaring all of youe ancestors posthumously gay."

Please, FSM, please give me the opportunity to use this line some day!
 
2012-02-22 11:57:27 AM

gerrymander: It is only immature and intolerant.


So is baptizing the dead.

Is intolerance of intolerance a bad thing?
 
2012-02-22 11:57:29 AM

HailRobonia: Non-evil Monkey: You know, I don't get this obsession with Mormon posthumous baptisms. True, it's an unusual practice, but it boils down to them formally acknowledging someone outside the faith is worthy of salvation. I don't see how that's somehow horribly disrespectful.

So you wouldn't have a problem with Satanists performing a ritual on your ancestor's grave to recruit them for the army of hell?


My god ... someone needs to start doing that ... why?

cache.ohinternet.com
 
2012-02-22 11:58:06 AM

Theaetetus: culebra: The names are recorded on the rolls so hypothetically they are only done once (system needs work.) They however are not recorded as being Mormon, simply that the offer was made to them.

[Citation needed]

Specifically, need a citation that the names are recorded differently in the roles than the names of living Mormons.


Actually, reverse citation found.
Here's a screenshot of the record for Anne Frank (new window)
Apparently, they are not "not recorded as being Mormon, simply that the offer was made to them".
 
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