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(All Dead Mormons Are Now Gay)
Has a Mormon posthumously baptized someone you know, love or respect? Now you can fight back by posthumously "choosing" homosexuality for one of their loved ones
(
alldeadmormonsarenowgay.com
)
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Walker
2012-02-22 11:14:26 AM
Sock Ruh Tease
2012-02-22 11:15:04 AM
"George Romney"
*click*
FlashHarry
2012-02-22 11:15:53 AM
ohhhhhhh. that's farking
awesome
.
meanmutton
2012-02-22 11:16:02 AM
And it will affect them exactly as much as their post-death "baptism" will affect Helen Keller.
Can't we find something that actually matters to get butthurt over?
chewielouie
2012-02-22 11:16:17 AM
You see? Homosexuality is a choice. Either you choose to be one yourself, or someone else can choose it for you.
BunkoSquad
2012-02-22 11:16:18 AM
Brigham Young
*click*
Don't Troll Me Bro!
2012-02-22 11:16:40 AM
How about we don't stoop to that level. That's just petty.
culebra
2012-02-22 11:17:24 AM
Joseph Smith, you have now been converted. Fabulously.
funk_soul_bubby
2012-02-22 11:17:27 AM
I got no problem with them. They helped me with a lot of genealogy research.
WTF Indeed
2012-02-22 11:17:50 AM
This won't work guys. The magic underwear will save them.
Scaryduck
2012-02-22 11:17:53 AM
+1
I have made it my duty to introduce (posthumously) a dead Mormon to the pleasures of brown love
culebra
2012-02-22 11:18:45 AM
Don't Troll Me Bro!
:
How about we don't stoop to that level. That's just petty.
To what gain? All is fair in love and war (and politics).
Karac
2012-02-22 11:18:48 AM
Sock Ruh Tease
:
"George Romney"
*click*
"Joseph Smith"
fireclown
2012-02-22 11:19:08 AM
I'm not sure that this is helping anything.
Pollexter
2012-02-22 11:19:53 AM
I know it's a meaningless internet "no u" with precious little value of any kind, but you could have at least put 10 minutes of effort into the design of the page. It looks like it was created by My Nerdy Nephew Web Design, circa 1997.
culebra
2012-02-22 11:20:31 AM
fireclown
:
I'm not sure that this is helping anything.
What does it hurt? It's an internet joke.
KangTheMad
2012-02-22 11:20:57 AM
Ronald Evans and Joseph Smith (founder of mormonism), thou hast been converted to faries.
DarwiOdrade
2012-02-22 11:21:19 AM
fireclown
:
I'm not sure that this is helping anything.
Yeah - not at all like the posthumous conversions that the Mormons are doing on holocaust victims that have been so helpful.
Diogenes
2012-02-22 11:21:32 AM
I love how Romney's railing against Obama for violating religious liberty, while his church still performs these baptisms.
What could be a worse violation of religious liberty than to force someone to be part of yours?
Aeon Rising
2012-02-22 11:21:40 AM
Serious question: If you don't believe it is real thing, why do you care? If you do believe it is real... doesn't that make them right?
Claim all my ancestors are gay, mormon egyptians with red hear... who gives a rat's ass?
Prance in a circle in your living room and claim the entire world is where god's gas meets the devil's lighter for all I care. If it makes you happy, do it.
"oh yea? well YOUR ancestor is a stupid poo poo head"
"is not!"
"is too times infinity forever"
who is the jackass? EVERONE!
elffster
2012-02-22 11:22:00 AM
Well.....guess what I got you, ghost of zombie Reagan?
/thats right, a Pink Feather Boa!
CatfoodSpork
2012-02-22 11:22:00 AM
I don't see why people who are not Mormons care. Since I don't believe their stupid religion, why should I believe their baptisms have any effect on anything?
I mean, yeah, it affects my opinion of Mormons, but it's not like that had a long way down to fall.
If I make up my own religion where anyone I look at is autoconverted (according to the tenets of CatfoodSporkism) that doesn't mean they will REALLY be stuck all eternity in CatfoodSporkism-Hell.
L.D. Ablo
2012-02-22 11:22:09 AM
I just entered the name of a dead Mormon friend.
He would kill me if he were still here.
/enjoy teh ghey, Matt
Diogenes
2012-02-22 11:22:49 AM
CatfoodSpork
:
I don't see why people who are not Mormons care. Since I don't believe their stupid religion, why should I believe their baptisms have any effect on anything?
I mean, yeah, it affects my opinion of Mormons, but it's not like that had a long way down to fall.
If I make up my own religion where anyone I look at is autoconverted (according to the tenets of CatfoodSporkism) that doesn't mean they will REALLY be stuck all eternity in CatfoodSporkism-Hell.
"First they came for the deceased Jews, and I did nothing...."
jayhawk88
2012-02-22 11:24:00 AM
meanmutton
:
And it will affect them exactly as much as their post-death "baptism" will affect Helen Keller.
Can't we find something that actually matters to get butthurt over?
Yeah, like fabulous afterlife gay Mormon sex. Lots of butthurt there.
/No takebacksies, double stamp
croesius
2012-02-22 11:24:14 AM
This is great. A branch of my family is Mormon, and a few years back they sent a copy of their bible to everyone in the family, as well as a notice that they would baptize all of us upon our death unless we opted out. The rage that erupted made family reunions a bit awkward.
Damn cultists.
James!
2012-02-22 11:24:22 AM
CatfoodSpork
:
I don't see why people who are not Mormons care. Since I don't believe their stupid religion, why should I believe their baptisms have any effect on anything?
I mean, yeah, it affects my opinion of Mormons, but it's not like that had a long way down to fall.
If I make up my own religion where anyone I look at is autoconverted (according to the tenets of CatfoodSporkism) that doesn't mean they will REALLY be stuck all eternity in CatfoodSporkism-Hell.
It's ghoulish and disrespectful of the dead.
qorkfiend
2012-02-22 11:24:37 AM
CatfoodSpork
:
I don't see why people who are not Mormons care. Since I don't believe their stupid religion, why should I believe their baptisms have any effect on anything?
I mean, yeah, it affects my opinion of Mormons, but it's not like that had a long way down to fall.
If I make up my own religion where anyone I look at is autoconverted (according to the tenets of CatfoodSporkism) that doesn't mean they will REALLY be stuck all eternity in CatfoodSporkism-Hell.
A high-profile member of CatfoodSporkism isn't running for President while his church disregards the religious preferences of others.
The My Little Pony Killer
2012-02-22 11:25:05 AM
CatfoodSpork
:
I don't see why people who are not Mormons care. Since I don't believe their stupid religion, why should I believe their baptisms have any effect on anything?
I would *hate* for Mormons to think that my grandparents were suddenly a part of their stupid religion. I don't have to believe in their idiocy to find it extremely disrespectful and distasteful of them to lay a claim on my deceased family members like that.
Pinner
2012-02-22 11:25:35 AM
Glitter sprinkly for Gordon B Hinkley
cgraves67
2012-02-22 11:26:12 AM
Don't Troll Me Bro!
:
How about we don't stoop to that level. That's just petty.
My Grandma was converted to Mormon when she was a little girl (by her step father). When she grew up, she quit Mormonism. She was expelled from the church and her name struck from their big book o' baptized. However, her Mormon relatives saw fit to include her offspring (i.e. us) into their book. I don't subscribe to their brand of weirdness, so I'm not losing sleep over it.
I think that getting your panties in a wad over this is comparable to throwing a fit over a "witch" casting spells on you when you don't believe in magic. It's not something that a logical person should be concerned about.
YixilTesiphon
2012-02-22 11:26:22 AM
This is stupid.
/athiest
yequalsy
2012-02-22 11:26:39 AM
fireclown
:
I'm not sure that this is helping anything.
On the one hand, it certainly doesn't improve civility in our public discourse. On the other hand, it will help both publicize and point out the absurdity of the Mormons' practice. Most people don't know about it and many would, I think, be offended to hear that their relative got posthumously baptized in a religion they didn't believe in. (Many Jews are pretty pissed, that's for sure.)
Raging Thespian
2012-02-22 11:26:44 AM
Aeon Rising
:
Serious question: If you don't believe it is real thing, why do you care? If you do believe it is real... doesn't that make them right?
It's not real, but it is insulting. And there doesn't seem to be any other way to get them to realize that baptizing people against their will might just be offensive to some folks.
natmar_76
2012-02-22 11:27:18 AM
The My Little Pony Killer
:
I would *hate* for Mormons to think that my grandparents were suddenly a part of their stupid religion. I don't have to believe in their idiocy to find it extremely disrespectful and distasteful of them to lay a claim on my deceased family members like that.
That's not how Mormons believe it works. The baptizing only presents the dead spirit with a choice of accepting Jesus and everything. They don't believe the baptizing automatically makes the baptized a Mormon.
Jim_Callahan
2012-02-22 11:27:50 AM
I was going to say something about sinking to the level of an opponent and returning insults in kind being childish and unproductive, but then I remembered I'm on the internet.
croesius
:
This is great. A branch of my family is Mormon, and a few years back they sent a copy of their bible to everyone in the family, as well as a notice that they would baptize all of us upon our death unless we opted out. The rage that erupted made family reunions a bit awkward.
Damn cultists.
Solution: convert to atheism. Then you can just facepalm a bit at silly religious people doing silly religious things as usual, and not even bother calling them on it unless it actually affects someone.
iheartscotch
2012-02-22 11:28:02 AM
Don't Troll Me Bro!
:
How about we don't stoop to that level. That's just petty.
Yeh, we can do better. We can revise the meaning of a certain word to be mormon. I think we all know what that word will be all mormons are now fa*the letter that comes after f and before h goes here*s.
Fluorescent Testicle
2012-02-22 11:28:02 AM
Well, it is stupid and meaningless, but Goddamn I laughed like hell.
/The 28 wives of Joseph Smith, welcome to lesbianism.
//Have fun, take pictures.
That coward David Lopan
2012-02-22 11:28:10 AM
Aeon Rising
:
Serious question: If you don't believe it is real thing, why do you care? If you do believe it is real... doesn't that make them right?
Claim all my ancestors are gay, mormon egyptians with red hear... who gives a rat's ass?
Prance in a circle in your living room and claim the entire world is where god's gas meets the devil's lighter for all I care. If it makes you happy, do it.
"oh yea? well YOUR ancestor is a stupid poo poo head"
"is not!"
"is too times infinity forever"
who is the jackass? EVERONE!
HEY, EVERYBODY! COME TAKE A LOOK! THIS GUY IS BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE!
NothingCanPossiblyeGoWrong
2012-02-22 11:28:26 AM
FlashHarry
:
ohhhhhhh. that's farking awesome.
You mean "fabulous"
The My Little Pony Killer
2012-02-22 11:28:27 AM
natmar_76
:
The My Little Pony Killer: I would *hate* for Mormons to think that my grandparents were suddenly a part of their stupid religion. I don't have to believe in their idiocy to find it extremely disrespectful and distasteful of them to lay a claim on my deceased family members like that.
That's not how Mormons believe it works. The baptizing only presents the dead spirit with a choice of accepting Jesus and everything. They don't believe the baptizing automatically makes the baptized a Mormon.
It's still offensive that they would even think to do such a thing. It's not their choice to make, and they need to focus on their own damn families and people who have already *willingly* accepted their brand of lunacy.
s1ugg0
2012-02-22 11:28:44 AM
This is incredibly stupid.
Also, hilarious.
octopied
2012-02-22 11:28:55 AM
Oooh, the slash fic that comes out of this should be fun.
Sun Worshiping Dog Launcher
2012-02-22 11:29:01 AM
Interesting. For this to really work for me though, I need to convert some dead people I knew to Mormonism, then I need to convert them to homosexuality. Actually, thinking this all the way through, I need to convert some of them to dead first.
Can I just get a one-stop website where I can kill people, convert myself to Mormonism, convert the dead people to Mormonism, and then make them gay? I really thinking streamlining this process could be a real boon to a business minded go-getter out there.
I can't wait to have a conversation with other Mormons as to why I myself felt the need to convert Mormonism: "Well, you see, I needed to be able to kill people so that I could convert them to Mormons after death, thereby allowing me to make them gay after that. Aside from the murdering, I needed Mormonism to provide me the tools to get everyone converted properly."
culebra
2012-02-22 11:29:27 AM
That coward David Lopan
:
Aeon Rising: Serious question: If you don't believe it is real thing, why do you care? If you do believe it is real... doesn't that make them right?
Claim all my ancestors are gay, mormon egyptians with red hear... who gives a rat's ass?
Prance in a circle in your living room and claim the entire world is where god's gas meets the devil's lighter for all I care. If it makes you happy, do it.
"oh yea? well YOUR ancestor is a stupid poo poo head"
"is not!"
"is too times infinity forever"
who is the jackass? EVERONE!
HEY, EVERYBODY! COME TAKE A LOOK! THIS GUY IS BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE!
The 4chan Psychiatrist
2012-02-22 11:29:47 AM
How is this any different from calling someone a f--got?
The implication from this is is that being gay is something terrible, a stigma which people have been working very hard to fight for the last 50 years or so (openly, at any rate...)
Vacation Bible School
2012-02-22 11:29:56 AM
Former Church Presidents Ezra Taft Benson and Spencer W Kimball will be looking fabulous on the Mormon float at the PRIDE parade
StopLurkListen
2012-02-22 11:30:09 AM
Mormons posthumously baptizing people makes a mockery of Pascal's Wager.
Don't Mormons WANT people to be religious?
"Screw making choices during my life to ensure a good afterlife ... The Mormons will cover for me"
jayhawk88
2012-02-22 11:30:24 AM
croesius
:
This is great. A branch of my family is Mormon, and a few years back they sent a copy of their bible to everyone in the family, as well as a notice that they would baptize all of us upon our death unless we opted out. The rage that erupted made family reunions a bit awkward.
Damn cultists.
[ ]
YES
, Zombie Baptize me, so that I may join my loved ones in Paradise Eternal!
[ ]
NO
, I do not want to opt out of Zombie Baptism, I do not want to miss taking advantage of this incredible offer!
gerrymander
2012-02-22 11:31:01 AM
And somewhere, there's an outspoken anti-gay social conservative who will now have even more evidence that allowing homosexuality was the first step in a slippery slope: "See? First it was legal gay sex, then gay marriage. Now they want to
defile the dead
!"
This is neither appropriate nor funny. It is only immature and intolerant. Just stop.
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