that croc is also known as my ex wife

A 70-year-old man from Zimbabwe narrowly escaped a crocodile attack as he crossed the Chivake River with his pants off -- but he lost part of his testicles

I've heard of saggy testicles, but this guy wins the prize.

Seriously - how can you only lose PART of your testicles to a giant croc bite? I'd say it's all or nothing.....

...having your nuts bit off by a Laplander. That's the way I want to go.

Jonah Maturure told the Sunday News that he'd taken off his trousers and put them in a tomato box above his head before he crossed the river....which was the style at the time.


"The skin covering my manhood was partly torn but I quickly put my thumb in its mouth"

I don't know what the hell he means, but I'm going to have nightmares over that phrase for years.

that could cause a bad case of
*puts on sunglasses*
eReptile disfunction.
EYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

That is a record that Guiness can set in stone. No one will be breaking it anytime soon.

NutWrench: The croc could not be reached for comment, except to say that the man's testicles were "yummy."



"Now that's just gratuitous!"

Sounds like his commute has some real....Pitfalls.

Lucky he had his tomato box, or cripes knows how it would have ended!

He's 70. he don't need those anymore anyhow...

Amateur...

Realizing that he wasn't going to save his personal possessions, he threw his tomato box in the river, The Sun reported.

That move may have saved his life.

With a story like that he can set up tomato box franchises at croc infested river crossings everywhere.

Yikes, that was hard to read.

I have a strict policy against entering croc-infested waters, exposed avocados notwithstanding.

The African edition of "Ow My Balls!" is hardcore!

Aye wants ye to savage me testicles, lassie, and dount ye hold back with thee insizors!

_{/sorry it's a stock photo
//why the fark was that made for stock anyway?}

They didn't mention anything about the boulder stage.