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(WPTV) Florida Protip: When kidnapping teens, make sure to take away their cellphones so they don't text for help from inside your trunk   (wptv.com) divider line 204
More: Florida, Beneby, Florida Department of Law Enforcement, cell phones  
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13751 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Feb 2012 at 2:26 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



204 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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ham-operator
2012-02-21 02:27:45 PM
What the phark is the deal with all of the psychos lately?
 
Phoenix_M
2012-02-21 02:29:18 PM
Must be an old car of she can't open it from inside the trunk either that or she is a lying attention whore.
 
Hoblit
2012-02-21 02:31:01 PM
This worked?

www.profilebrand.com
 
Typical Right Wing Doosh
2012-02-21 02:31:29 PM
FTA: "5-foot 6-inches tall and weighs 105 pounds"

damn, she's skinny
 
jagec
2012-02-21 02:31:40 PM
Luckily, my BFF Jill is an FBI agent.

Have they tried checking the location of her last Facebook status update?
 
cig-mkr [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 02:32:25 PM
Abby, on NCIS would have triangulated her location within minutes.
Oh, wait that's not real life.
 
Debeo Summa Credo
2012-02-21 02:32:32 PM
Phoenix_M: Must be an old car of she can't open it from inside the trunk either that or she is a lying attention whore.

Hmmm. I don't know if I'd figure out how to open it from the inside. Is it a handle like a door or a latch or what?
 
signaljammer
2012-02-21 02:34:20 PM
DSC: little glow-in-the-dark plastic handle.

Some Faraday cage!
 
NightOwl2255
2012-02-21 02:35:42 PM
Phoenix_M: Must be an old car of she can't open it from inside the trunk either that or she is a lying attention whore.

A 10 year old car is not really out of the question.
 
TV's Vinnie
2012-02-21 02:36:31 PM
ham-operator: What the phark is the deal with all of the psychos lately?

Sites like Megaupload and Cheggit went down. The lack of pr0n is making the pervs ultra-antsy.
 
NightOwl2255
2012-02-21 02:36:58 PM
Debeo Summa Credo: Hmmm. I don't know if I'd figure out how to open it from the inside. Is it a handle like a door or a latch or what?

It's a glow in the dark white handle on most cars.
 
Phoenix_M
2012-02-21 02:37:11 PM
NightOwl2255: Phoenix_M: Must be an old car if she can't open it from inside the trunk either that or she is a lying attention whore.

A 10 year old car is not really out of the question.

I thought that's been required since the 90's.
 
Bruxellensis
2012-02-21 02:37:13 PM
Debeo Summa Credo: Phoenix_M: Must be an old car of she can't open it from inside the trunk either that or she is a lying attention whore.

Hmmm. I don't know if I'd figure out how to open it from the inside. Is it a handle like a door or a latch or what?

Most newer cars have trunks with a glow-in-the-dark handle that you can pull to open it from the inside.
 
Oznog
2012-02-21 02:37:37 PM
Note for kids- carry an extra phone. They may be smart enough to take the phone they see, but they never expect a backup phone.
 
BurnShrike
2012-02-21 02:38:20 PM
This is what's wrong with the world today. She had a cell phone. She didn't phone the police, or 911. She texted her mommy
 
Debeo Summa Credo
2012-02-21 02:38:20 PM
signaljammer: DSC: little glow-in-the-dark plastic handle.



Wow, no kidding. I had no idea. I'm going to check that out right now in my 1985 Pontiac! BRB.
 
Oznog
2012-02-21 02:38:48 PM
cig-mkr: Abby, on NCIS would have triangulated her location within minutes.
Oh, wait that's not real life.

It's no use- the transmission ended before we could ENHANCE the signal!
 
mooseyfate
2012-02-21 02:38:57 PM
Has anybody mentioned glow in the dark handles yet?

/because glow in the dark handles are what you pull in this situation
 
BurnShrike
2012-02-21 02:39:07 PM
BurnShrike: This is what's wrong with the world today. She had a cell phone. She didn't phone the police, or 911. She texted her mommy

I wonder if she updated her Facebook status while she was at it.
 
mooseyfate
2012-02-21 02:40:47 PM
BurnShrike: BurnShrike: This is what's wrong with the world today. She had a cell phone. She didn't phone the police, or 911. She texted her mommy

I wonder if she updated her Facebook status while she was at it.

Forgot to switch alts there, buddy.

/ackward
 
Bender The Offender
2012-02-21 02:40:50 PM
Phoenix_M: Must be an old car of she can't open it from inside the trunk either that or she is a lying attention whore.

Option C is you're raging farktarded asshole who probably has his own rape dungeon. Option D is you're the kidnapper and are disparaging the girl to throw off pursuit.
 
AFKobel
2012-02-21 02:40:51 PM
Has anyone heard anything from Debeo Summa Credo lately?
 
Bruxellensis
2012-02-21 02:41:31 PM
mooseyfate: Has anybody mentioned glow in the dark handles yet?

/because glow in the dark handles are what you pull in this situation

I think we got that covered for now. We will quiz you later.
 
NightOwl2255
2012-02-21 02:41:53 PM
Phoenix_M: I thought that's been required since the 90's.

Only been required since 2003. But, most 2002 cars have them.
 
theorellior [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 02:42:09 PM
BurnShrike: This is what's wrong with the world today. She had a cell phone. She didn't phone the police, or 911. She texted her mommy

Well, texting is quieter than calling 911. You can't really text the police.
 
BurnShrike
2012-02-21 02:42:56 PM
mooseyfate: BurnShrike: BurnShrike: This is what's wrong with the world today. She had a cell phone. She didn't phone the police, or 911. She texted her mommy

I wonder if she updated her Facebook status while she was at it.

Forgot to switch alts there, buddy.

/ackward

I don't have alts. I thought of the second comment after I'd posted the first, so I just threw it up there.

I know it's bad form, but fark it.
 
Pollexter
2012-02-21 02:43:12 PM
Texted mommy instead of calling 911...? Riiight. She's in a motel 4 blocks from home doing meth and banging her 28 boyfriend.
 
theorellior [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 02:43:17 PM
AFKobel: Has anyone heard anything from Debeo Summa Credo lately?

I hope his Fiero didn't catch fire with him in the trunk.
 
NightOwl2255
2012-02-21 02:43:34 PM
Bruxellensis: mooseyfate: Has anybody mentioned glow in the dark handles yet?

/because glow in the dark handles are what you pull in this situation

I think we got that covered for now. We will quiz you later.

What do I pull? I do not want to get this part wrong.
 
Starfly
2012-02-21 02:43:35 PM
Call me uneducated with Amber Alerts, but why the fark does it take 4 hours to get an amber alert out since the mother received the text at 7 and her daughter said she was in someone's trunk.

Did they think the girl was joking around or what?
 
Manfred J. Hattan
2012-02-21 02:44:20 PM
That she found it
Appropriate to text her mother rather than
Warn her friends or call the
Authorities tells me she
Needs not rescuing but an
Asskicking.


/hope I'm right.
 
AFKobel
2012-02-21 02:44:32 PM
Pollexter: Texted mommy instead of calling 911...? Riiight. She's in a motel 4 blocks from home doing meth and banging her 28 boyfriend.

How many boyfriends?
 
cgraves67
2012-02-21 02:44:54 PM
BurnShrike: This is what's wrong with the world today. She had a cell phone. She didn't phone the police, or 911. She texted her mommy

Actually, I'm surprised she didn't contact her friends first to have them contact authorities. Because there's nothing more effective than teenagers with second-hand information.
 
Whatthefark
2012-02-21 02:45:20 PM
Something doesn't sit right with me here. Why call mommy first? Why not call the police and leave the phone on so they could triangulate her location?

I truly hope she is OK, but I can't help thinking that we'll see a follow up in a couple of days saying the girl lied and was getting back at mommy for some reason.
 
ManateeGag [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 02:45:41 PM
cig-mkr: Abby, on NCIS would have triangulated her location within minutes.
Oh, wait that's not real life.

F' Her. Penelope on Criminal Minds would tell you the make and model of the car and what the unsub had for breakfast that morning.
 
kimwim
2012-02-21 02:45:58 PM
AFKobel: Pollexter: Texted mommy instead of calling 911...? Riiight. She's in a motel 4 blocks from home doing meth and banging her 28 boyfriend.

How many boyfriends?

28
 
Timmy the Tumor [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 02:46:14 PM
Kidnapping and rape victims don't always think clearly...if she had enough focus to text someone for help, she's a hero not a "lying attention whore."
 
AFKobel
2012-02-21 02:46:17 PM
theorellior: BurnShrike: This is what's wrong with the world today. She had a cell phone. She didn't phone the police, or 911. She texted her mommy

Well, texting is quieter than calling 911. You can't really text the police.

Isn't that an NWA song?
 
CapeFearCadaver
2012-02-21 02:47:33 PM
theorellior: You can't really text the police.

Actually: Link (new window)

It's being done in a few districts, for precisely instances like this.
 
thelordofcheese
2012-02-21 02:47:54 PM
I locked myself in the trunk of my mom's car in the 80s so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.
 
AFKobel
2012-02-21 02:48:00 PM
Timmy the Tumor: Kidnapping and rape victims don't always think clearly...if she had enough focus to text someone for help, she's a hero not a "lying attention whore."

A hero? For thinking of using her phone after being kidnapped?

Wow. No one is limbo-ing under that bar.
 
Fluorescent Testicle
2012-02-21 02:48:02 PM
Pollexter: Texted mommy instead of calling 911...? Riiight. She's in a motel 4 blocks from home doing meth and banging her 28 boyfriend.

In a row?
 
theorellior [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 02:48:11 PM
kimwim: AFKobel: Pollexter: Texted mommy instead of calling 911...? Riiight. She's in a motel 4 blocks from home doing meth and banging her 28 boyfriend.

How many boyfriends?

28

That's as many as four sevens.

And that's terrible!
 
Harry Freakstorm [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 02:48:29 PM
Sadly, She hasn't been found yet, so the bad guys are still winning. Maybe the cops should triangulate or access a military satellite.

Reminds me of an old car commercial. The bad guys grab the spy and throw him in the floor boards of the back seat. Unfortunately for them, he has a spy radio. Fortunately, they are driving the new Ford Grenada and as they drive down bumpy streets, the spy reports "highway like smoothness". (Back then, highways were smooth) Based on his ride, he reports back to command that he's at the airport. Sadly, he is outside an old warehouse about to go through a wood chipper.
 
MadMonk
2012-02-21 02:48:59 PM
Who the hell names their daughter using a stereotypical stripper name? "I will make sure she never achieves anything greater than Hooters waitress, for I shall name her Jade."
 
NightOwl2255
2012-02-21 02:49:07 PM
Timmy the Tumor: Kidnapping and rape victims don't always think clearly...if she had enough focus to text someone for help, she's a hero not a "lying attention whore."

Keep in mind, she could be both.
 
Scorpio Rex
2012-02-21 02:49:29 PM
AFKobel: Has anyone heard anything from Debeo Summa Credo lately?

Must have gotten locked in the trunk without a cel phone.
 
Life_is_a_carnivore [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 02:50:13 PM
OMG KDNPT LOL
 
H31N0US
2012-02-21 02:50:37 PM
kimwim: AFKobel: Pollexter: Texted mommy instead of calling 911...? Riiight. She's in a motel 4 blocks from home doing meth and banging her 28 boyfriend.

How many boyfriends?

28

Including me?
 
GeekTheMighty
2012-02-21 02:51:06 PM
TV's Vinnie: ham-operator: What the phark is the deal with all of the psychos lately?

Sites like Megaupload and Cheggit went down. The lack of pr0n is making the pervs ultra-antsy.

Cheggit is down?

SHUT. DOWN. EVERYTHING.
 
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