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(Chicago Sun-Times) Unlikely "Police are not yet certain" what led to the death of autistic 17-year old found face-down at the bottom of a garbage chute after 47-floor fall   (suntimes.com) divider line 128
More: Unlikely, Gold Coast, highrises, trash chute  
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6562 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Feb 2012 at 3:15 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



128 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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sweetmelissa31 [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 02:32:09 PM
It was vaccines.
 
labman [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 02:36:28 PM
My money is on gravity.
 
Javacrucian [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 02:39:53 PM
Death panels.
 
AdolfOliverPanties [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 02:40:21 PM
Deceleration trauma.
 
dj_spanmaster [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 02:42:25 PM
So, it's not a slide?
 
cretinbob [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 02:44:29 PM
Down's Syndrome =/= Autism

//I have met some Asperger kids I'd shove down an elevator shaft though.
 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 02:50:52 PM
cretinbob: Down's Syndrome =/= Autism

//I have met some Asperger kids I'd shove down an elevator shaft though.

FYI-people with mental disabilities can also be autistic.
 
Ennuipoet [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 03:04:16 PM
It's not the fall that kills you but the really hard ground at the bottom of it.
 
AdolfOliverPanties [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 03:07:20 PM
Was he dirty faced? I once heard they found a dirty faced kid in a garbage can.
 
KingKauff [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 03:16:49 PM
Ennuipoet: It's not the fall that kills you but the really hard ground at the bottom of it.

That, or the rapid deceleration.
 
farkingismybusiness
2012-02-21 03:17:04 PM
Gravity. Definitely, definitely gravity.
 
Fluorescent Testicle
2012-02-21 03:17:46 PM
Simple: He was killed to death.

Bathia_Mapes: FYI-people with mental disabilities can also be autistic.

True, but why did the headline focus on the minor condition, rather than the major one?
 
emersonbiggins
2012-02-21 03:18:54 PM
Quite a hefty fall
 
calbert [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 03:19:32 PM
I bet his parents wish they told him to take the stairs instead of the elevator.
 
9beers
2012-02-21 03:19:52 PM
I wonder if he counted the floors on his way down.
 
ArkAngel [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 03:19:55 PM
api.ning.com

Must have fallen onto some bullets

farkingismybusiness: Gravity. Definitely, definitely gravity.

Technically gravity just made him fall. It was the deceleration that killed him
 
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom
2012-02-21 03:20:06 PM
Sounds like he suffered from Screaming All the Way Down Syndrome.
 
Endive Wombat [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 03:21:06 PM
Ummm...excuse me, but he did not fall 47 floors. We all know buildings do not take the 13th floor into account. He actually fell 46.831225 floors.
 
MooseUpNorth
2012-02-21 03:21:15 PM
I think the cops are trying to flesh out Step Two a little more.
 
h2oincfs
2012-02-21 03:21:29 PM
Nunzio?
 
Sock Ruh Tease
2012-02-21 03:21:36 PM
He was actually 17.18469215 years old, subby. But whatever. Be inaccurate.
 
Madame Ovary
2012-02-21 03:22:32 PM
Fluorescent Testicle: Simple: He was killed to death.

Bathia_Mapes: FYI-people with mental disabilities can also be autistic.

True, but why did the headline focus on the minor condition, rather than the major one?

Because the popular understanding of autism is someone who is socially awkward but smart OR someone likely to know the dangers of a trash shute.
 
LeroyBourne
2012-02-21 03:23:21 PM
Maybe he just got done watching As Good As it Gets and had a hankering for some diaper shiat.
 
Snarfangel
2012-02-21 03:23:41 PM
Fluorescent Testicle: Simple: He was killed to death.

Bathia_Mapes: FYI-people with mental disabilities can also be autistic.

True, but why did the headline focus on the minor condition, rather than the major one?


MAN WITH INGROWN TOENAIL FOUND DEAD
A young autistic man with Down's Syndrome was found dead in a trash chute. The man's family does not believe his painfully ingrown toenail contributed to his death
 
Gabrielmot
2012-02-21 03:25:01 PM
Bathia_Mapes: cretinbob: Down's Syndrome =/= Autism

//I have met some Asperger kids I'd shove down an elevator shaft though.

FYI-people with mental disabilities can also be autistic.

I'm sorry, but no matter what you say, I'll never be convinced macaroni art is art.
 
Petey4335
2012-02-21 03:26:03 PM
So he was pretending he was escaping the detention block?
 
Millennium
2012-02-21 03:26:30 PM
Fluorescent Testicle: Simple: He was killed to death.

Bathia_Mapes: FYI-people with mental disabilities can also be autistic.

True, but why did the headline focus on the minor condition, rather than the major one?

Because at this particular point in spacetime, the minor condition happens to be one which has more potential to grab ratings and thus drive ad revenue.
 
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom
2012-02-21 03:27:51 PM
Paramedics arriving on scene report his last words were, "Shut down.. all the trash compactors... on the detention lerghhuhhhh..."
 
sarajane [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 03:27:54 PM
isn't it obvious? they forgot to shut down the garbage compactors on the detention level.
 
WTFDYW [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 03:28:16 PM
dj_spanmaster: So, it's not a slide?

Oh man. I'm so bad for laughing at that.
 
sarajane [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 03:28:31 PM
i shake my fist at you, Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom, I shake my fist at you

*shakes fist*
 
Tentacle
2012-02-21 03:29:14 PM
Copspeak for trying to determine if he was killed before going through the chute

/fun at parties
 
BurnShrike
2012-02-21 03:29:31 PM
Sounds like he had Down-the-chute Syndrome
 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 03:31:07 PM
Fluorescent Testicle: Simple: He was killed to death.

Bathia_Mapes: FYI-people with mental disabilities can also be autistic.

True, but why did the headline focus on the minor condition, rather than the major one?

I have no idea. However, the first paragraph of the article states that the teen was both autistic and had Down Syndrome.
 
JRoo
2012-02-21 03:33:12 PM
Probably jumped down there to avoid social interaction.


/it's_what_i_would_have_done
 
WorkingInParadise
2012-02-21 03:35:21 PM
9beers: I wonder if he counted the floors on his way down.

I can't stop laughing. Aisle seat, please.
 
ihatedumbpeople
2012-02-21 03:36:06 PM
It certainly wasn't the fall...

/very likely the sudden stop
//or the compactor.
 
Krieghund [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 03:36:46 PM
Subby, the police have to make sure the kid was alive when he entered the garbage chute on the 47th floor. It's not unheard of for people to dump bodies down garbage chutes.
 
careless lisper
2012-02-21 03:37:31 PM
I was a Freshman at Wisconsin (Go Badgers!) when a kid got shoved into a garbage disposal in my dorm. He fell 8-9 stories or thereabouts. It was on Halloween night, and a guy from my floor found him the next morning when he arrived to work (severely hungover from the Halloween shenanigans the night before) for his custodial job. The guy lived, amazingly, but was seriously farked up and took months to recover, apparently. The truth about the events leading up to the chute-ing was never revealed, other than the fact that alcohol was obviously a factor. My buddy that found him said he wreaked of liquor.

/CSB
 
Krieghund [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 03:37:52 PM
Endive Wombat: Ummm...excuse me, but he did not fall 47 floors. We all know buildings do not take the 13th floor into account. He actually fell 46.831225 floors.

And the garbage collection was probably in the basement, not the ground floor. So that's 47.00001 floors.
 
elffster [TotalFark]
2012-02-21 03:38:54 PM
So, can anyone appreciate the....Gravity of the situation?


*puts on sunglasses*

/waddles off
 
buckeyebrain
2012-02-21 03:39:10 PM
labman: My money is on gravity.

Definitely gravity. Definitely, definitely gravity.

/26 minutes to Wapner
 
theolinc
2012-02-21 03:39:10 PM
was he training for the special olympics long jump competition? cuz i think he won
 
BurnShrike
2012-02-21 03:39:50 PM
As he fell he shouted "I can count to potatoooooooooooooooooo"
 
Darkrover2
2012-02-21 03:40:43 PM
www.hollywoodringer.com
//not impressed
 
Ehh
2012-02-21 03:41:49 PM
He really wanted the Lassiter?
 
Draq
2012-02-21 03:42:48 PM
Krieghund: Endive Wombat: Ummm...excuse me, but he did not fall 47 floors. We all know buildings do not take the 13th floor into account. He actually fell 46.831225 floors.

And the garbage collection was probably in the basement, not the ground floor. So that's 47.00001 floors.

Mystery solved, it was that extra 38 microns that killed him.
 
FeFiFoFark
2012-02-21 03:42:51 PM
he should have used his retard strength to stop his fall.
 
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom
2012-02-21 03:44:37 PM
Snarfangel: Fluorescent Testicle: Simple: He was killed to death.

Bathia_Mapes: FYI-people with mental disabilities can also be autistic.

True, but why did the headline focus on the minor condition, rather than the major one?


MAN WITH INGROWN TOENAIL FOUND DEAD
A young autistic man with Down's Syndrome was found dead in a trash chute. The man's family does not believe his painfully ingrown toenail contributed to his death

DEAD MAN FOUND WITH AUTISM, DOWNS SYNDROME, IN-GROWN TOENAIL
 
careless lisper
2012-02-21 03:45:06 PM
=Link (new window)

God, I love my alma mater
 
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