If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Des Moines Register)   If your infant is teething, it's okay to wipe a little bit of whiskey on their gums to numb the pain. But don't let them have so much alcohol their BA is .09   (desmoinesregister.com) divider line 57
    More: Obvious, Iowa City, primary caregiver, University of New Mexico, juvenile courts, Iowa, pain, Natasha Kriener, bodily injury  
•       •       •

4708 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Feb 2012 at 1:45 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



57 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-02-21 10:35:13 AM  
Pfft. Amateurs.

img39.imageshack.us
 
2012-02-21 10:37:45 AM  
why not,t ah'ts how i was raiesd and i truned up fien...
 
2012-02-21 10:48:44 AM  
But he's a happy little cuss

/quiet, too
 
2012-02-21 10:57:52 AM  
45 lbs at 22 months? I'm guessing the kid probably washes his wings and pizza down with beer.
 
2012-02-21 11:07:18 AM  
When I was 4 or so, one of my uncles thought it would be hilarious to give me a bottle of this sweet alcoholic carbonated beverage (something like Zima, I guess, but only Chinese). That got me pretty loaded and I passed out for about 12 hours.

In retrospect, that was pretty funny.
 
2012-02-21 11:16:59 AM  
Better article (with pic of mom) (new window)

Mom's BAC was .251.
 
2012-02-21 11:34:46 AM  
The 2 year old was over the legal limit? Well then, hopefully it was not driving.
 
2012-02-21 11:42:30 AM  
28.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-02-21 12:27:25 PM  
I got sick off of champagne when I was around 8, big family party and I guess nobody was paying attention to what I gotten ahold of. Positive side effect was the smell of alcohol would turn my stomach and I did not touch anything like that for years.

Got over it in college.

But if the kid is 45 lbs at 22 months, he has other problems that need to be addressed first.
 
2012-02-21 01:23:38 PM  
Young livers are resilient.
 
2012-02-21 01:33:57 PM  

Slives: I got sick off of champagne when I was around 8, big family party and I guess nobody was paying attention to what I gotten ahold of. Positive side effect was the smell of alcohol would turn my stomach and I did not touch anything like that for years.

Got over it in college.

But if the kid is 45 lbs at 22 months, he has other problems that need to be addressed first.


I don't really remember if I had much alcohol when I was 8, least of all champagne. Admittedly, however, I get no kick from champagne, and mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all.
 
2012-02-21 01:47:18 PM  
Ha! Lightweight.

45 lbs at 22 months

Nevermind...
 
2012-02-21 01:48:01 PM  
That whole page seemed like a pile of midwestern shame.
 
2012-02-21 01:50:13 PM  
pdx.eater.com

The real dangers of underage drinking.
 
2012-02-21 01:52:06 PM  
my son is teething right now, getting a kick, etc

/nothing stronger thank Infant Tylenol
 
2012-02-21 01:52:55 PM  
Apparently she doesn't like to drink alone.
 
2012-02-21 01:57:56 PM  
In related news, the minimum age to become president of the united states, is 35, and you must be at least 54 inches tall to ride this ride.

Seriously, I get tired of news articles constantly referring to the arbitrary .08 BAC driving limit and applying it every time alcohol is involved.
As if there is a legal amount you can drink.
Unless it's prescribed by a Dr. the BAC of a 22 month toddler is 0.

If I'm sitting in my apartment, and drinking single malt scotch, my legal BAC is whatever I can handle and still get the glass back up to my lips.
 
2012-02-21 01:58:35 PM  
According to the mother's myspace page (yes, her myspace page), her nickname is Ta-Ta-Lishes. A quick look at some of her posted pics reveal, Ta-Ta's: yes. Lishes: NO.

Just for having a mother with that name, the kid should have been taken by CPS long, long ago.
 
2012-02-21 02:02:21 PM  
s-ec-sm.buzzfeed.com

/Hotlinked
 
2012-02-21 02:06:29 PM  
farm3.staticflickr.com
 
2012-02-21 02:18:04 PM  
For comparison, my daughter is 27 months old and weighs about 26 pounds. I can't imagine if she was double the size she is. Yes, she's a bit small but still has a bit of a pot belly.
 
2012-02-21 02:42:51 PM  

Krymson Tyde: 45 lbs at 22 months? I'm guessing the kid probably washes his wings and pizza down with beer.


Came here to say exactly this. 45 lbs is a huge got-damn toddler.
 
2012-02-21 02:58:39 PM  

Pontious Pilates: Krymson Tyde: 45 lbs at 22 months? I'm guessing the kid probably washes his wings and pizza down with beer.

Came here to say exactly this. 45 lbs is a huge got-damn toddler.


That's 97th percentile for weight. It is also 9 pounds heavier... than my four-year-old.

Krymson Tyde: Mom's BAC was .251.


To hit that BAC, I'd have to consume 13 drinks in an hour's time, or say 16 at a party. That's pretty f'n sloshed. The baby drank one of her rum and cokes that she'd left on the coffee table, I'm wagering.
 
2012-02-21 03:04:52 PM  
The question now on the mind of every parent who's read this is..."Did it shut the little shiat up? If so, for how long?"
 
2012-02-21 03:04:58 PM  
45 lbs is indeed a massive nearly 22 month old. My kid didn't reach 45 lbs until she was in school. She's at about 50 pounds now and she'll be eight this summer. She's smallish for a seven year old, but 45 lbs is huge for a kid that's nearly two. That kid had better be about 3'9" to weigh that much.
 
2012-02-21 03:05:02 PM  
My parents did this, except with gin. Every Friday night they'd have martinis, and every Friday night I'd have teething pains.
 
2012-02-21 03:07:15 PM  
No, farkingretardmitter, it's not.
 
2012-02-21 03:09:03 PM  

mistersnark: The question now on the mind of every parent who's read this is..."Did it shut the little shiat up? If so, for how long?"


Not this parent. I'm stuck visualizing the projectile vomiting and, tomorrow when I'm hungover, the other end's problem... all while the child becomes far whinier due to the splitting headache.

Although I sincerely do wonder about the anesthetic reality of rubbing a bit of whiskey on the gums. Teething is serious pain.
 
2012-02-21 03:10:29 PM  

xanadian: why not,t ah'ts how i was raiesd and i truned up fien...


Awesome
 
2012-02-21 03:25:42 PM  
My mother-in-law did that to my wife when she (my wife) was a baby. Her mother advised her that whiskey is sometimes a good substitute to ease tooth pain. What my mother-in-law didn't understand was the part about just putting some on your finger and rubbing it on the gums. So, she added about a shot of whiskey to her bottle. Apparently, my wife slept, literally, like a baby. When asked how she was doing, my mother-in-law (in all ignorant innocence) said, "She's so happy! And, she slept through the night!"

/facepalm
//CSB
 
2012-02-21 03:34:33 PM  
Since when is it ever okay to give an infant alcohol?

/subby has to be trolling
//please be trolling
 
2012-02-21 03:38:20 PM  

newmilpan: Since when is it ever okay to give an infant alcohol?

/subby has to be trolling
//please be trolling


Someone didn't grow up in an Irish household.

/whiskey got me through teething
 
2012-02-21 03:52:45 PM  

Show us your Marx: newmilpan: Since when is it ever okay to give an infant alcohol?

/subby has to be trolling
//please be trolling

Someone didn't grow up in an Irish household.

/whiskey got me through teething


It was prescribed by our Dr. "2 tsp 80 proof whiskey per 8oz bottle."
 
2012-02-21 03:54:37 PM  

Nayest: No, farkingretardmitter, it's not.


Overprotective-parent-like typing detected.

There's more alcohol in a teaspoon of cough syrup than what you wipe on their gums. It's not like you're doing shots. It's not medically significant. (Maybe not such a great idea to have "daddy's juice" where the kids know where it is and can get ahold of it, but that's a different ball of wax.)

That said, frozen teething rings probably work better.
 
2012-02-21 03:58:39 PM  

TheGreatGazoo: For comparison, my daughter is 27 months old and weighs about 26 pounds. I can't imagine if she was double the size she is. Yes, she's a bit small but still has a bit of a pot belly.


My daughter is 4yrs 4mos and weighs 35. It's small for her age, but she's very bright and always on the move. I can't imagine what she would be like if she was scaled up to be proportional to the child from the article.
 
2012-02-21 04:11:13 PM  
Pig baby, pig baby, give me a drink...
 
2012-02-21 04:18:18 PM  

skullkrusher: my son is teething right now, getting a kick, etc

/nothing stronger thank Infant Tylenol


I'm in the same boat, dude. We should start a support group. I once saw a movie about a guy who couldn't sleep and he went to some support groups. We'll do what he did.

By the way, and this is for everybody here, once your child is a year old, please stop referrring to them as X months. TheGreatGazzo, your child is 2 years old.
 
2012-02-21 04:23:24 PM  

ajt167: skullkrusher: my son is teething right now, getting a kick, etc

/nothing stronger thank Infant Tylenol

I'm in the same boat, dude. We should start a support group. I once saw a movie about a guy who couldn't sleep and he went to some support groups. We'll do what he did.

By the way, and this is for everybody here, once your child is a year old, please stop referrring to them as X months. TheGreatGazzo, your child is 2 years old.


Whatever do you mean?
BTW, my 336 month old son, came over with his girlfriend last Sunday.
 
2012-02-21 04:23:54 PM  

ajt167: By the way, and this is for everybody here, once your child is a year old, please stop referrring to them as X months. TheGreatGazzo, your child is 2 years old.


I am 14,758,104 minutes old.
 
2012-02-21 04:24:20 PM  

factoryconnection: Pontious Pilates: Krymson Tyde: 45 lbs at 22 months? I'm guessing the kid probably washes his wings and pizza down with beer.

Came here to say exactly this. 45 lbs is a huge got-damn toddler.

That's 97th percentile for weight. It is also 9 pounds heavier... than my four-year-old.


Not to nitpick, but a 22 month old hits the 97th percentile at about 32 lbs, not 45. 45 is serious obesity and is way out of normal range. Like fat_kid_at_McDonalds.jpg fat.
 
2012-02-21 04:28:15 PM  

four95: According to the mother's myspace page (yes, her myspace page), her nickname is Ta-Ta-Lishes. A quick look at some of her posted pics reveal, Ta-Ta's: yes. Lishes: NO.

Just for having a mother with that name, the kid should have been taken by CPS long, long ago.


The best part is the top comment on her page...

"how u gone give me a num dat dnt wrk?"
 
2012-02-21 04:30:05 PM  

ajt167: By the way, and this is for everybody here, once your child is a year old, please stop referrring to them as X months. TheGreatGazzo, your child is 2 years old.


No, the norm is to use months up until 2. There's vast differences between a 14 month old and a 16 month old.

Past that, though, you're right. My kid's three and a half, not 43 months old.
 
2012-02-21 04:37:00 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: Slives: I got sick off of champagne when I was around 8, big family party and I guess nobody was paying attention to what I gotten ahold of. Positive side effect was the smell of alcohol would turn my stomach and I did not touch anything like that for years.

Got over it in college.

But if the kid is 45 lbs at 22 months, he has other problems that need to be addressed first.

I don't really remember if I had much alcohol when I was 8, least of all champagne. Admittedly, however, I get no kick from champagne, and mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all.


So tell me why should it be true, that you get a kick out of Drew?
 
2012-02-21 04:38:41 PM  

Comic Book Guy: I_Am_Weasel: Slives: I got sick off of champagne when I was around 8, big family party and I guess nobody was paying attention to what I gotten ahold of. Positive side effect was the smell of alcohol would turn my stomach and I did not touch anything like that for years.

Got over it in college.

But if the kid is 45 lbs at 22 months, he has other problems that need to be addressed first.

I don't really remember if I had much alcohol when I was 8, least of all champagne. Admittedly, however, I get no kick from champagne, and mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all.

So tell me why should it be true, that you get a kick out of Drew?


Bravo, sir.

/I get no kick from cocaine...
 
2012-02-21 04:40:04 PM  
The Facebook profile of the mother: Link (new window)

Here's a photo of her:

profile.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2012-02-21 05:19:17 PM  
oh gods. My 5 month old is teething for the first time now.

After the hell of this past weekend, I totally understand the 'bit of whiskey on the baby's gums, rest of bottle for Mom and Dad' -I didn't know my child could scream at that pitch for *that* long. When he finally did go down for the night on Saturday, we broke out a bottle in celebration.

He seems to be doing better now, so I'm hoping the worst has passed.

/praying to the patron saint of Orajel.
 
2012-02-21 05:30:42 PM  
obviously the height or length of the little one makes a difference. may be babby's daddy is 6' - 6" and 350lbs. perhaps the toddler is actually in proportion height to weight.

on the plus side we know he's not going thirsty. or starving.

/obviously knows squat about little humans.
//watched "Black Dynamite" last night, has the 'Chinese Baby' monologue
rolling in my head.
 
zez
2012-02-21 05:32:00 PM  
I love the party toddler meme

t.qkme.me

t.qkme.me
 
2012-02-21 06:03:34 PM  
Someone forgot to read Baby Instructions for New Parents.
www.funcram.com
 
2012-02-21 06:11:51 PM  
My great grandmother once mentioned that when her children were restless she'd "just give them a little dose of paregoric." (pops) It's no wonder 3 of her 4 kids turned into hard-core drug addicts.
 
Displayed 50 of 57 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report