"Hey, how about the First Lady's butt. Looks like she is smuggling hams"

"Close but no cigar, Obama. Clinton kept all the cigars for himself and put them in vaginas"

"I am not saying Obama is a muslim but he did fly a plane into the economy"

A family walks into the office of a talent agent. Husband, wife, two kids.

The talent agent asks what they can do.
The husband starts by giving everyone medical coverage. He gets the Nobel Peace Prize. He invades Libya, sends drones to Pakistan, allows gays to serve openly in the military, captures Osama bin Laden, sends emergency teams to Haiti, tries to fix the economy, ends the Iraq War. Then the wife starts promoting healthy eating and starts a vegetable garden as an example...and finally the talent agent jumps up out of his seat and says

"That's AWFUL! That's OBSCENE!! That's the worst thing I've ever seen! So, what do you call yourselves?"

The husband replies: "THE OBAMAS!"

Obama walks like this. *struts and breakdances* and I walk like this *walks normaly*.

"Obama reminds me of the Sherrif in Blazing Saddles. By that I mean a negro"

"Obama and Reverend Wright go into a bar. Referend Wright says, Goddamned America. Obama burns an American Flag. Moochelle eats ribs with her feet"

the country has never been more divided and bitter, in part, because partisan class warfare that "is not just horrible, it's anti-American."

Yeah, and you personally make war on the non-wealthy. Jackass.

As a liberal, i have to say that would be kinda funny,

/especially when accompanied by yakkety sax.

xanadian: Only if you do it while playing "Yakkety Sax."

CURSE YOU!

shivashakti: A family walks into the office of a talent agent. Husband, wife, two kids.

The talent agent asks what they can do.
The husband starts by giving everyone medical coverage. He gets the Nobel Peace Prize. He invades Libya, sends drones to Pakistan, allows gays to serve openly in the military, captures Osama bin Laden, sends emergency teams to Haiti, tries to fix the economy, ends the Iraq War. Then the wife starts promoting healthy eating and starts a vegetable garden as an example...and finally the talent agent jumps up out of his seat and says

"That's AWFUL! That's OBSCENE!! That's the worst thing I've ever seen! So, what do you call yourselves?"

The husband replies: "THE OBAMAS!"

I want to marry this post.

"Dis be a spiritual war. Ah be baaad... And da damn Big Daddy of Lies gots his sights on whut ya' would dink de Big Daddy of Lies would gots his sights on, dig dis: a baaaad, decent, powerful, influential country - de United States uh America. WORD! If ya' wuz Satan, who would ya' attack in dis day and age?"

They still wouldn't win. They could prop a months-old, fly-ridden Obama corpse up behind a lectern and it would be more lifelike, appealing, and electable than Romney.

"When I came into Grand Rapids I stopped at the McDonald's," he said. "Did you see that they all had that new Obama 'Happy Meal?'-- order anything you want and the guy behind you has to pay for it."


So we were driving down... ROUTE 401!

/that's only four miles from my house!

Did I ever tell you about the time Obama took me out to go destroy a country with him? We go off looking for a country and we can't find one. Finally Obama takes me to the United States and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone elected him. The day they swore him in, we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground by wrecking the economy. Obama yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'

/he's a sunofabiatch.

How many libruls does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
KENYAN SOSHULIZM!

unaffiliated freelance douchebaggery is the new overzealous staffer.

Well it is the Republican's best chance of winning this November. Joe "gaffe a minute" Biden might be funny, but unless he's running against Santorum he'd lose.

If you're a republican and you feel the need to tell a joke - smother it. It's either going to be outright un-funny or 10 years out of date.

"When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and voted for Democrats"

"What four animals does a woman like to have in her house? A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a taxpayer to pay for it all."

"Obama is speaking to the nation. The President says, "I am going to make you the happiest Nation in the world" The audience yells, "We'll miss you!""

Frank Luntz: Living Stereotype

So Frank Luntz, Barack Obama and a socialist walk into a bar. Luntz says to the bartender, "Give me a martini. The guy behind me's gonna pay for it." So Luntz gets his martini. Next, Obama comes up to the bartender. He says, "give me a beer." The bartender says fine, but Luntz said Obama'd be getting his martini, too. Obama grumbles, says fine, pays for the martini and the beer. Finally, the socialist comes up to the bar, says ...

Um, wait, no, the socialist was first and ordered a whisky... And then Luntz got the martini, I think... Or maybe he got the beer and the Obama got all three bills...

Anyway, it was really funny when I thought of it. I guess both sides are just as bad at telling jokes.

sweetmelissa31: "The ATF who has come to take away your guns by order of the Muslim in Chief."

Bill Clinton was a Muslim?

That's why I refer to him as Frank Kuntz. Oops, did I say something naughty?

No one gets the irony of joking about this at the Lincoln's Day Dinner?

Did he swing by the James Garfield Jamboree?

The McKinley...uhh...well, you get it.

James F. Campbell: We get it, he's black blah.

3 million out of work!

Best part? Forever!!!

*crickets*
*tumbleweeds*
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I'm wondering if I'm alone here, but occasionally it still hits me that our President is a half white named Barack Hussein Obama. And we elected him.

This is why dickbags like Luntz get no real traction; we've passed that brand of evil.

Mmm. Freelance douchebaggery. As good and good for you as free-range chicken.

James F. Campbell: We get it, he's black.

No, he said run him over, not drag him behind.

A Dark Evil Omen: I guess both sides are just as bad at telling jokes.

So...joke Republican?

Kevin72: That's why I refer to him as Frank Kuntz. Oops, did I say something naughty?

LOLOL, look Drew, no filterpwn, ROFLMAO.

shivashakti: A family walks into the office of a talent agent. Husband, wife, two kids.

The talent agent asks what they can do.
The husband starts by giving everyone medical coverage. He gets the Nobel Peace Prize. He invades Libya, sends drones to Pakistan, allows gays to serve openly in the military, captures Osama bin Laden, sends emergency teams to Haiti, tries to fix the economy, ends the Iraq War. Then the wife starts promoting healthy eating and starts a vegetable garden as an example...and finally the talent agent jumps up out of his seat and says

"That's AWFUL! That's OBSCENE!! That's the worst thing I've ever seen! So, what do you call yourselves?"

The husband replies: "THE OBAMAS!"

I can't . . . I don't know what to say . . .

/should've sent a poet

improvius: James F. Campbell: We get it, he's black.

No, he said run him over, not drag him behind.

Drag him behind happens right after run him over..