Oh good, it's 1 a.m. and it's been a while since our last spider thread.

God Is My Co-Pirate: Oh good, it's 1 a.m. and it's been a while since our last spider thread.

you don't like spiders?

Apparently one of the other symptoms of this spider's bite is that it makes you look like Martina Navratilova.

Spike from Notting Hill, is that you?

False Widow Spider sounds pretty tame. But what do I know, I'm a recluse.

Having been bitten by a black widow spider, I can't imagine what ten bites would do. Sweat bullets for 48 hours, thinking I had the flu and had abdominal cramping. Then, bang, gone as soon as it came on. Not pleasant.

farkingismybusiness: False Widow Spider sounds pretty tame. But what do I know, I'm a recluse.

You sound brown.

snuff3r: Bloody whingy pom. Come over here for a bit and meet some real spiders.

/I kill one of these ^ a week in my house

I blame you for linking that picture, and not myself for clicking it at 1 in the morning.

I didn't really wish to sleep any how.
/btw how do you sleep with those able to get in your home?

Meh, I've been bit by worse.

snuff3r: Bloody whingy pom. Come over here for a bit and meet some real spiders.

/I kill one of these ^ a week in my house

OMG! Kill it with fire!

OH GAWD! What did it do to his face?!?!

common sense is an oxymoron: farkingismybusiness: False Widow Spider sounds pretty tame. But what do I know, I'm a recluse.

You sound brown.
He's probably a hobo.

uberhund72: Apparently one of the other symptoms of this spider's bite is that it makes you look like Martina Navratilova.

I was thinking Tom Petty but Martina is a good call as well.

farkingismybusiness: False Widow Spider sounds pretty tame. But what do I know, I'm a recluse.


Many spiders of the genus Steatoda are often mistaken for widow spiders (Latrodectus), and are known as false black widows; however Steatoda are significantly less harmful to humans.


Just wanted to funnel you in the right direction.

Given the choice between black widow bites and brown recluse bites--well, black widow bites might make you feel bletcherous for a while, but they don't leave weeping necrotic ulcers that make you look like you've got Flesh-Eating Bacteria :P

Of course, false widows are less dangerous than black widows proper, fortunately :D

/at least we don't have farging HOBO SPIDERS yet--aka "brown recluses without the damned violin on them", aka "farkers bite you and you look like you've got flesh-eating bacteria infection"
//Normally am not squeamish at all re spiders, and there are even a few like jumping spiders that I tend to find outright adorable. Brown recluses can die in a fire though

Aaaaand Fark invents it's own r/nosleep

uberhund72: Apparently one of the other symptoms of this spider's bite is that it makes you look like Martina Navratilova.

THAT'S who I was trying to think of!

/I was just gonna go with "ugly lesbian"

germ78: FTA: Mr Galton, from Southampton, Hampshire, had been aware of several stings during the day and had assumed they had come from a bee.

They have bees in the middle of winter in Britain?

Not many, but it's not unusual to see one on one of the bizarre sunny, almost-warm days that happen in Feb.

snuff3r: Bloody whingy pom. Come over here for a bit and meet some real spiders.

/I kill one of these ^ a week in my house

you bastard....

snuff3r: Bloody whingy pom. Come over here for a bit and meet some real spiders.

/I kill one of these ^ a week in my house

Why the fark are you killing huntsman spiders? They won't hurt anyone! Ya big Nancy! Just catch em and put em outside if you don't want em in the house.

Father bitten by collar

Well, I'm not sleeping tonight. Thanks, Fark.

snuff3r: Bloody whingy pom.

WTF is a "whingy pom"?

Lucky it wasn't one of these:



Link

snuff3r: Bloody whingy pom. Come over here for a bit and meet some real spiders.

/I kill one of these ^ a week in my house

If you find one of those in your house every week, that's a pretty good argument for moving out of your house. And burning it to the ground.

Gawdzila: snuff3r: Bloody whingy pom.

WTF is a "whingy pom"?

A whining Englishman. It's Australian slang.

Spider thread!

This spider can bite me any time:

Belatryx: Well, I'm not sleeping tonight. Thanks, Fark.

You are very welcome!

I can only hope that you do not dream of some hairy spider crawling up your leg as your sleep. That would probably be a bit creepy.

snuff3r: /I kill one of these ^ a week in my house

Awww...

When I was 14, I was bitten in the back by a brown recluse spider. It felt like I had pulled every single muscle in my back, aaaand you would not believe just how your back is incorporated in every single damn movement. I found out from my parents over 15 years later that I had the full on necrosis going and that they never told me about it so I wouldn't worry. Fark spiders. "Ooooh but they catch pests!" No, fark you, they ARE pests. Being higher on the food chain than one pest does not absolve a spider of being a bigger douchebag of a pest.

Fusorfodder: When I was 14, I was bitten in the back by a brown recluse spider. It felt like I had pulled every single muscle in my back, aaaand you would not believe just how your back is incorporated in every single damn movement. I found out from my parents over 15 years later that I had the full on necrosis going and that they never told me about it so I wouldn't worry. Fark spiders. "Ooooh but they catch pests!" No, fark you, they ARE pests. Being higher on the food chain than one pest does not absolve a spider of being a bigger douchebag of a pest.

You sound bit....ter

What a sissy. I use to have one of these (new window) as a pet. A real nasty fella. He liked to shoot hairs at the face of anyone that was dumb enough to take off his cover and take a look at him.

I generally leave spiders alone, since they catch other crawlies, and they themselves get caught by wasps a lot around here.

But not in my bedroom. No farking way. I catch you there, i kill you.

Good thing i still have the pellet gun in my drawer i got when i was a kid. No better pest-swatter out there.

/Was especially useful when a hornet the size of my thumb decided to visit me one day
//purple goo all over the curtains, too

Dear Daily Mail Reporter:

If you bite something and get sick, it's poisonous. If something bites you and you get sick, it's venomous.

Cheers!

I was much more impressed with the side link that took me to an article about Tom Brady's wife Giselle out at the beach. Consider it eye bleach for having to look at the gender ambiguous spider bite victim. :)

Link (new window)

/Brazil and Australia are unimpressed.

SOON...

God damn it. I know I won't like spider threads, but can't stop myself from clicking.
Oh well, no sleep for me tonight.

/Has to kill spiders from the far side of the room with thrown shoes.
//Or if they're on the ground, sick the dogs on them.

also, based on the look on his face, I don't think it was the fake widow. My guess is that it was the Busey Spider

Perhaps he'll die