For the record, the only reason I leave the lid up is so the cat can get a drink if I've forgotten to fill his water dish. I allow my husband a TON of leeway on the usual complaints women have about men, but if I fall in the toilet in the middle of the night (I hate ruining my night vision), I will yellat him later. Believe me, that better not be one of his complaints since he's got a leash with enough slack to choke an entire state legislature.

/It's late
//Legislature was the largest body of people I could think of that wasn't absolute chaos like mall shoppers or something

steamingpile: phalamir: Because only you are a "Real Man". Look, Chuckles Mcfarkstain, there is no list of rules that delineates "real" man from a "non-real" man.

Actually there are subtle rules, if a man cow tows to everything his wife says then he is not a real man, hes the biatch in the relationship and most likely their sex life revolves around her farking other men while he beats off in a corner....

Also, AbbeySomeone is a woman.

Self esteem issues. He has them.

A man does this to a woman, and its abuse.


Damn those feminists.

DNRTFA - just looked at the pictures. Easier to read and play games sitting down. Nothing to clean up if I miss.

As for the woman...


/meh

EggSniper: [25.media.tumblr.com image 400x266]

Definitely in the lower-right end there.

You never want to go below the Vicky Mendoza diagonal

ladyfortuna: Believe me, that better not be one of his complaints since he's got a leash with enough slack to choke an entire state legislature.


Why does he need a leash? Is he a damn dog? It's this attitude that leads to pussies like the one in the article...

Gordon Bennett: jingks: FTA: "It was the full works: candles, rose; glasses and bucks fizz."

I had to look up 'bucks fizz'. How are mimosa's considered the "full works" for a romantic evening? And glasses?!? Talk about 1%ers.

Bucks fizz is orangey and fizzy and sweet and altogether very very girly. It's also considered to be slightly posh by the sorts of people who think that Lambrini is, well, suitable for human consumption. (Hint: it isn't)

Well it's that or our 1981 Eurovision winner (new window) has permanently associated it with the idea of skirts coming off in our national conscious.

That guy is going to lose his friends - because he'll get used by their girlfriends as an argument for why they themselves should be more manageable.

How much does the Daily Mail pay people to share their stories? What other motivation could they have for telling the entire nation (and the world, what with the Internet) what idiots they are?

Nogale: How much does the Daily Mail pay people to share their stories? What other motivation could they have for telling the entire nation (and the world, what with the Internet) what idiots they are?

They obviously don't realize that they are idiots. Part of being an idiot is believing that you are not an idiot.

Mambo Bananapatch: Nogale: How much does the Daily Mail pay people to share their stories? What other motivation could they have for telling the entire nation (and the world, what with the Internet) what idiots they are?

They obviously don't realize that they are idiots. Part of being an idiot is believing that you are not an idiot.

So how do I know if I'm not an idiot or simply an idiot who thinks she's not an idiot?

FirstNationalBastard: He could probably do better.

I doubt it.

He has no self-esteem, and needs to be dominated. She has no self-esteem and needs to dominate someone. She's moderately attractive.

They may or may not find happiness, but they're definitely compatible.

miss diminutive: Mambo Bananapatch: Nogale: How much does the Daily Mail pay people to share their stories? What other motivation could they have for telling the entire nation (and the world, what with the Internet) what idiots they are?

They obviously don't realize that they are idiots. Part of being an idiot is believing that you are not an idiot.

So how do I know if I'm not an idiot or simply an idiot who thinks she's not an idiot?

Well, you don't. Other people will decide whether you're an idiot.

For mmiss diminutive: Mambo Bananapatch: Nogale: How much does the Daily Mail pay people to share their stories? What other motivation could they have for telling the entire nation (and the world, what with the Internet) what idiots they are?

They obviously don't realize that they are idiots. Part of being an idiot is believing that you are not an idiot.

So how do I know if I'm not an idiot or simply an idiot who thinks she's not an idiot?

For my part, for whatever it's worth, I think the fact that you can pose that question shows that you are not an idiot.

Mambo Bananapatch: For mmiss diminutive: Mambo Bananapatch: Nogale: How much does the Daily Mail pay people to share their stories? What other motivation could they have for telling the entire nation (and the world, what with the Internet) what idiots they are?

They obviously don't realize that they are idiots. Part of being an idiot is believing that you are not an idiot.

So how do I know if I'm not an idiot or simply an idiot who thinks she's not an idiot?

For my part, for whatever it's worth, I think the fact that you can pose that question shows that you are not an idiot.

Well that's a relief. I was starting to wonder; this Preparation H superglue stuff wasn't sticking the handle back on my coffeepot no matter how much I put on there.

Mambo Bananapatch: For mmiss diminutive: Mambo Bananapatch: Nogale: How much does the Daily Mail pay people to share their stories? What other motivation could they have for telling the entire nation (and the world, what with the Internet) what idiots they are?

They obviously don't realize that they are idiots. Part of being an idiot is believing that you are not an idiot.

So how do I know if I'm not an idiot or simply an idiot who thinks she's not an idiot?

For my part, for whatever it's worth, I think the fact that you can pose that question shows that you are not an idiot.

Unless you're an idiot, thus making your opinion invalid.

hamfast gamgee: DNRTFA - just looked at the pictures. Easier to read and play games sitting down. Nothing to clean up if I miss.

As for the woman...
[cache.gawker.com image 300x371]

/meh

This is what I don't get. It seriously takes no more than 30 seconds to pee, if that. What kinds of problems are you having that you have to take a book along when you take a leak?

ladyfortuna: I allow my husband a TON of leeway on the usual complaints women have about men, but if I fall in the toilet in the middle of the night (I hate ruining my night vision), I will yellat him later.

If you can't see if the toilet seat is up or not, your night vision is already ruined.

ladyfortuna: ord, the only reason I leave the lid up is so the cat can get a drink if I've forgotten to fill his water dish. I allow my husband a TON of leeway on the usual complaints women have about men, but if I fall in the toilet in the middle of the night (I hate ruining my night vision), I will yellat him later.

I see. So when exactly did you decide that your personal needs were entirely his responsibility?

wraith95: hamfast gamgee: DNRTFA - just looked at the pictures. Easier to read and play games sitting down. Nothing to clean up if I miss.

As for the woman...
[cache.gawker.com image 300x371]

/meh

This is what I don't get. It seriously takes no more than 30 seconds to pee, if that. What kinds of problems are you having that you have to take a book along when you take a leak?

ladyfortuna: I allow my husband a TON of leeway on the usual complaints women have about men

Wow, mighty white of you there!

but if I fall in the toilet in the middle of the night (I hate ruining my night vision), I will yellat him later.

So you're admitting you're careless enough to (repeatedly) sit on the toilet without checking first that you won't fall in. And this is somehow your husband's fault.

I'm so sick of this "battle of the sexes" crap. I don't get why so many people insist on finding insignificant little made-up faults with their spouse, apparently just so they can publicly denigrate him or her for "being a [man/woman]". It's stupid, and only makes you look like an obnoxious lower-class jerk who doesn't have much respect for the partner you (presumably) chose to spend your life with. If I have issues in my relationship, I address them with my spouse directly, rather than going around spouting off flippant little barbed comments just because it's considered vaguely socially acceptable to so on the basis that countless unfunny comedians have used it as a staple of their drek-laden routines.

Incidentally, my wife and I have a pretty good arrangement regarding the toilet seat: She checks to make sure that it's down before she uses it, and I check to make sure it's up before I do. Works out great for both of us.

jingks: Mambo Bananapatch: For mmiss diminutive: Mambo Bananapatch: Nogale: How much does the Daily Mail pay people to share their stories? What other motivation could they have for telling the entire nation (and the world, what with the Internet) what idiots they are?

They obviously don't realize that they are idiots. Part of being an idiot is believing that you are not an idiot.

So how do I know if I'm not an idiot or simply an idiot who thinks she's not an idiot?

For my part, for whatever it's worth, I think the fact that you can pose that question shows that you are not an idiot.

Unless you're an idiot, thus making your opinion invalid.

Ah! But I'm not an idiot. Know how I know that? I just totally know it.

I'd put up with the crazy for a month or two. Here you go...









/I like my crazy women like I like my links: hot

Dude's gay and hasn't realized it completely yet. The chick has though.

NTTAWWT

I'd say "Why should you care if I pee standing up or sitting down as long as I put the seat down when I'm done?" and or "You don't see me complaining about you leaving it down, why do you complain if I leave it up?"

/always put his toilet seat/lid down, but only so the cat won't drink out of the toilet

GuidoDelConfuso: ladyfortuna: I allow my husband a TON of leeway on the usual complaints women have about men

Wow, mighty white of you there!

but if I fall in the toilet in the middle of the night (I hate ruining my night vision), I will yellat him later.

So you're admitting you're careless enough to (repeatedly) sit on the toilet without checking first that you won't fall in. And this is somehow your husband's fault.

Incidentally, my wife and I have a pretty good arrangement regarding the toilet seat: She checks to make sure that it's down before she uses it, and I check to make sure it's up before I do. Works out great for both of us.

I always leave it down. Lid too. Ever since I read this little bathroom reader fact book about the fecal bacteria from your droppings and colon misting up when you flush landing everywhere (toothbrush) in your bathroom. Mythbusters did this and the bacteria is all throughout your house even with the lid down, but it puts me at ease subconsciously. I also now keep my toothbrush in another room.

TheFlyingGoat: I'd put up with the crazy for a month or two. Here you go...

I dunno, she looks like she could stand to lay off the sammiches a bit. I wouldn't normally say that, as one who appreciates a healthy set of curves, but come on... her face is like twice the width of the other girls in those pictures (both of whom are way cuter, BTW). And she's only 23?! Wait 'til she hits 30-she's gonna be a blimp.

miss diminutive: Well that's a relief. I was starting to wonder; this Preparation H superglue stuff wasn't sticking the handle back on my coffeepot no matter how much I put on there.

Well, duh. Everyone know prepreation H glue need to be put in the oven for 2 hours before it sets. As hot as it can go.

He needs to slap that fat biatch.

jmr61: Dude's gay and hasn't realized it completely yet. The chick has though.

NTTAWWT

The dude is totally gay. Look at what he is wearing.

MagSeven: I always leave it down. Lid too. Ever since I read this little bathroom reader fact book about the fecal bacteria from your droppings and colon misting up when you flush landing everywhere (toothbrush) in your bathroom. Mythbusters did this and the bacteria is all throughout your house even with the lid down, but it puts me at ease subconsciously. I also now keep my toothbrush in another room.

That roll of film the thieves left along with the toothbrushes when they robbed your house? Yeah, trust me, just go ahead and throw that away.

Thanks for the images TheFlyingGoat.

She clearly has the fat gene and will be twice her current size within a year of formalizing her ownership of that sucker.

living together + 2-year-old son = married (no matter how you slice it)

if they split up now, she'd be entitled to sue for maintenance & child support

MagSeven: I always leave it down. Lid too. Ever since I read this little bathroom reader fact book about the fecal bacteria from your droppings and colon misting up when you flush landing everywhere (toothbrush) in your bathroom. Mythbusters did this and the bacteria is all throughout your house even with the lid down, but it puts me at ease subconsciously. I also now keep my toothbrush in another room.

I am disgusted that it took this long for someone to mention this.

That biatch had better, and I mean Better, give a beej approaching miracle status.

/Better...

Way to set a great example for your kid, there.

"Ya see son, real men have no self-esteem and let other people walk all over them..."

I really need to step up my game. My husband claims to be p*ssy whipped, but I haven't tried half the crap this twunt is doing. The problem is I hate chick flicks, as well as most of her other choices.

I think the real clue for me is that my husband's friends all want to know how to get their wives good paying jobs so they "can stay home with the kids, wink, wink, nudge, nudge."

I may not have thought my cunning plan all the way through.

I think that guy would be better off and much happier expanding his bromance with his mate Keith.

rebelyell2006: Someone should tell him there's a way out of that hellish life.
[upload.wikimedia.org image 200x132]

--- "NO NO everything will be OK!!"


FTA: "Another time she thought for a second that me and a mate were going out, she thought we were gay because there was too much bromance going on."

-- That's cuz he's so damn glad to see his mate and get the fark out of the house!!

If Fark has any function at all, then it's to ridicule ridiculous news. But by reporting every piece of troll-nonsense filler from the Daily Fail, that function loses - how shall I put it - a bit of its 'intelligence'.

She could have a bacon-producing vag made of gold and I still wouldn't put up with that shiat.
She's not ugly, but eff that shiat - too many options out there in the world. :)

ThighsofGlory: steamingpile: phalamir: Because only you are a "Real Man". Look, Chuckles Mcfarkstain, there is no list of rules that delineates "real" man from a "non-real" man.

Actually there are subtle rules, if a man cow tows to everything his wife says then he is not a real man, hes the biatch in the relationship and most likely their sex life revolves around her farking other men while he beats off in a corner....

Also, AbbeySomeone is a woman.

And it's "kowtow", not cow tow. For all intensive purposes.

Looks like the Schadenfreud (skadeglädje as it's know to the Swedish Bikini Team) tag is out sick with the Sick tag.

cherryl taggart: I really need to step up my game. My husband claims to be p*ssy whipped, but I haven't tried half the crap this twunt is doing. The problem is I hate chick flicks, as well as most of her other choices.

I think the real clue for me is that my husband's friends all want to know how to get their wives good paying jobs so they "can stay home with the kids, wink, wink, nudge, nudge."

I may not have thought my cunning plan all the way through.

You should slowly lose respect for him and start cheating on him with a co-worker, and then file for divorce. That'll teach them!

This looks like a form of abuse to me. Imagine the cries if it was the man telling his fiancee that she cannot hang out with her best friend anymore and calls to harass her if she's taking too long in the bathroom.

jack21221: This looks like a form of abuse to me. Imagine the cries if it was the man telling his fiancee that she cannot hang out with her best friend anymore and calls to harass her if she's taking too long in the bathroom.

Indeed.