If online dating doesn't work, there are going to be a lot of really lonely white collar professionals in the future. Some people just don't have time to meet others.

AverageAmericanGuy: If online dating doesn't work, there are going to be a lot of really lonely white collar professionals in the future. Some people just don't have time to meet others.

I don't have time for someone who doesn't have time for me.

Didn't read the article, but huh, funny how me and my wife met via eHarmony and we've been married for two years and things are still going well. Granted I get that two years isn't crazy long or anything, but I'd hardly say that online dating doesn't work based on my experiences.

There are 300 million people in this country. Everything works for somebody out there.

Divorced friend tried online dating. It recommended his ex.

It works about as well as any other method.

enry: Divorced friend tried online dating. It recommended his ex.

Srsly?

Anyway, it works, but it works much, much better for women.

I once read an experiment on some blog where they made three guy profiles and three women's profiles -- each in varying levels of hotness. The guys also varied by height and income (if you are shorter than 6', you won't show up on most searches women do). The fugly woman got dozens of messages. The hottest chick got hundreds. The hottest, tallest, richest guy got single digits. The other guys got none.

Also, Match.com is garbage. Try OK Cupid.

Unreal expectations combined with dishonest descriptions tend to lead to unsatisfactory results.
Seriously, don't use that photo from 15 years ago.
/or longer

LiberalWeenie: I once read an experiment on some blog where they made three guy profiles and three women's profiles -- each in varying levels of hotness.

Try it with any of the guys having custody of their kids.

Kurmudgeon: LiberalWeenie: I once read an experiment on some blog where they made three guy profiles and three women's profiles -- each in varying levels of hotness.

Try it with any of the guys having custody of their kids.

Did that myself, ***crickets********

LiberalWeenie: enry: Divorced friend tried online dating. It recommended his ex.

Srsly?

Anyway, it works, but it works much, much better for women.

I once read an experiment on some blog where they made three guy profiles and three women's profiles -- each in varying levels of hotness. The guys also varied by height and income (if you are shorter than 6', you won't show up on most searches women do). The fugly woman got dozens of messages. The hottest chick got hundreds. The hottest, tallest, richest guy got single digits. The other guys got none.

Also, Match.com is garbage. Try OK Cupid.

Over how long though? I had my fair share of hits without being rich or hot. I'm a fat guy who works in a call center. I am 6 feet tall though so I have that going for me. The other thing I had going though is a goofy though honest profile. Worked for me. We've been together over three years and are getting married later this year.

LiberalWeenie: enry: Divorced friend tried online dating. It recommended his ex.

Srsly?

Anyway, it works, but it works much, much better for women.

I once read an experiment on some blog where they made three guy profiles and three women's profiles -- each in varying levels of hotness. The guys also varied by height and income (if you are shorter than 6', you won't show up on most searches women do). The fugly woman got dozens of messages. The hottest chick got hundreds. The hottest, tallest, richest guy got single digits. The other guys got none.

Also, Match.com is garbage. Try OK Cupid.

It was a geek-oriented site and it was a while ago - 5 years maybe.

Then again, an ex-employee of mine got recommended his old position via linkedin. And that was last week.

enry: Divorced friend tried online dating. It recommended his ex.

Did she like pina coladas?

A friend of mine tried it and hooked up quickly, been married a few years now.
As for myself... I doubt I could trust a computer to pick a mate.

/Forever_alone.JPG

Met my GF of 4 years using online dating.

/Getting a kick
//it did take a few tries

way south: enry: Divorced friend tried online dating. It recommended his ex.

Did she like pina coladas?

A friend of mine tried it and hooked up quickly, been married a few years now.
As for myself... I doubt I could trust a computer to pick a mate.

/Forever_alone.JPG

By charging for full use of the service, you tend to avoid the random-hookup crowd, who can generally do better in bars. So your population that you're dealing with has one big thing in common, right away -- they're all the people who are actually looking for seriously relationships.

I met my lady on match, and we just emailed back and forth for six weeks before we even met in person. That was by necessity - she was 200 miles away for those six weeks, then moved closer afterwards. But it was really great to get to know her through email, without the pressures and anxieties of the standard "do we kiss now?" kind of dating bullshiat.

I dated a girl I met online for a year and a half. I knew the night I met her that I couldn't see myself with her, but she just sort of grabbed on to me. Haven't used okcupid since (that doesn't mean okcupid isn't the best dating site, it probably is). The truth is you need to meet the person in real life to get a sense of who the person really is, because if a girl doesn't make a long profile they all look the same. And the photos tend to turn guys off to contacting a girl, if they see the slightest imperfection in the shot they assume it's an indication of larger flaws. The only thing an online dating profile tells you is how good the person is with grammar.

And because girls get so many messages from guys, when guys try contacting these girls most get ignored and shot down. It's a great place to meet people, but perhaps not the best place to meet SOs.

Online dating will not improve your ability to meet someone compatible. It only improves your opportunities to do so.

LiberalWeenie: enry: Divorced friend tried online dating. It recommended his ex.

Srsly?

Anyway, it works, but it works much, much better for women.

I once read an experiment on some blog where they made three guy profiles and three women's profiles -- each in varying levels of hotness. The guys also varied by height and income (if you are shorter than 6', you won't show up on most searches women do). The fugly woman got dozens of messages. The hottest chick got hundreds. The hottest, tallest, richest guy got single digits. The other guys got none.

Also, Match.com is garbage. Try OK Cupid.

Believe me all the fugly chicks are messaging me. And I'm not that attractive. I finally decided to delicately put a disclaimer in that I don't want to date a girl who weighs more than I do. It's helped curb things a litte bit.

Honestly having done it it'shiat or miss. Girls will gets scored more messages and contacts then guys do, and when you do meet, you really ether hit it off or you don't. just like any other dating method.

As a decently attractive women, expect to be able to meet someone half decent every week or so. As a Guy, expect a decent meeting once every two months, unless your rich.

LostSaidDocument: And because girls get so many messages from guys, when guys try contacting these girls most get ignored and shot down. It's a great place to meet people, but perhaps not the best place to meet SOs.

As an experiment once, I made a moderately attractive female profile (not really hot, but not bad). I got a shiatload of messages just asking to fark and meet right off the bat. Probably 95% of that. Guys that send a respectful, funny, original first message do way better, I would imagine.

Antimatter: Honestly having done it it'shiat or miss.

Always a classic pwn.

machoprogrammer: Guys that send a respectful, funny, original first message do way better, I would imagine.

The wheat is already hopelessly buried in the chaff.

As long as the person is the right sex, the right age range and within the specified distance, they will show up on a search.

In other words everyone is a potential match except for the times you click on things like "non-smoker" and they smoke. So basically you start with everyone and narrow it down.

It works backwards from what everyone thinks it does. There is no "computer matching", only parsing.

What you think you want isn't always what you actually need.

On a side note, regular dating sucks just as bad, so given the options... what does one have to lose?

This article comes to me as I'm considering finally taking the plunge into something like online dating or--heck I dunno, chicken entrails? Whatever will result in my first date in all my 30 years.

But whenever I look into something like online dating, the point seems to be simply, well, as Honest Abe might describe it

There don't seem to be any sites out there that say, ``Hey, come to our site, hang out, get to know people and talk about crap and figure out who might be a good match for you.'' It's all, ``Hey, come to our site, post a photoshopped image of yourself, pretend to like Proust, and see if this photoshopped picture of another person who pretends to love Proust will accept your invitation.''

This does not seem to be a good way to make a lasting relationship. And it's particularly frightening for a newbie like me.

Met my partner of 10 years on gay.com so getting a kick.

HotIgneous Intruder: AverageAmericanGuy: If online dating doesn't work, there are going to be a lot of really lonely white collar professionals in the future. Some people just don't have time to meet others.

I don't have time for someone who doesn't have time for me.

Yeah, a couple years back, a woman and I spent four months exchanging emails trying to arrange a date! I finally told her, "You won't make time to date, so stop wasting other people's time."

Every woman I've dated, including my wife, I met at activities we both participated in. Put down the game, turn off your phone and go do something. Join a biking club, take a class, join the CFI; anything is better than sitting on your butt whining.

El Freak: It works about as well as any other method.

Jesus christ not enough people are saying this. Its not a matter of having a computer find your soulmate and send you a marriage contract. Its a matter of being the intermediary through which you are afforded the means to meet someone. It works about as well as running into some chick in the park while youre both running and not paying attention. It works about as well as getting trashed and waking up next to a stranger at the bar. In FACT Id say (given personal experience) online dating works even better because youre afforded time via email and messaging to get to know the person better before you waste time DATING. Its dating itself that is the joke. Go somewhere intimate with a random stranger and roll the dice, hope that youre compatible? fark no. I met my wife on match 7 years ago. We exchanged emails for 2-3 weeks before we even met. We basically knew what we were getting into by the time our first "date" came around. the only people that ever think online dating doesnt work are the ones who think it will provide a direct result. It is a means to an end.

Just celebrated my one month anniversary with my new wife, who I met on match.com. So I'm getting a kick out of this, etc.

e-Harmony sucked though. Most of the matches I got there were women who only signed up for the free communication weekends. Try building a relationship with someone who only talks to you three times in a year.

Then I suppose the Mrs. and I are a statistic anomaly. We met online almost thirteen years ago, just celebrated our ten year wedding anniversary, and are extremely happy.

I guess that makes us online dating hipsters.

/before it was cool
//off our lawn

andrewagill: This article comes to me as I'm considering finally taking the plunge into something like online dating or--heck I dunno, chicken entrails? Whatever will result in my first date in all my 30 years.

But whenever I look into something like online dating, the point seems to be simply, well, as Honest Abe might describe it

[i158.photobucket.com image 449x554]

There don't seem to be any sites out there that say, ``Hey, come to our site, hang out, get to know people and talk about crap and figure out who might be a good match for you.'' It's all, ``Hey, come to our site, post a photoshopped image of yourself, pretend to like Proust, and see if this photoshopped picture of another person who pretends to love Proust will accept your invitation.''

This does not seem to be a good way to make a lasting relationship. And it's particularly frightening for a newbie like me.

I understand the trepidation. However, you will rarely find something you don't go looking for so you need to weigh the pros and cons. Everyone has their fair share of pretty ridiculous ex's and dating mishaps. If anything it helps you to discern what is truly right for you.

I'd encourage you to put something out there. Keep it short and simple, don't expect a flood of messages, but on your end, be proactive and start seeking out women who seem to have similar likes and dislikes and take the time to find out if it's really true.

The other thing to try is to attend events and locations that hold things of your interest. If you're an art buff, look for open gallery nights and anything where people with similar interests might congregate so you know you'll have some common ground to start from.

I met my fiancee at a Christian summer camp (no religious plug there) so I knew we shared a common faith background which was important to me. I've come to realized we are very different in a lot of ways, but the big things that connect us surpass a lot of that.

TL;DR - Get out there and give it a shot

I met mine the traditional way, at a party.

I met my soon to be wife in real life from being set up through another friend. My online dating experiences before that were a long string of nutty/borderline insane women after a date or two.

My wife's cousin met her husband through eharmony, and they're perfect for each other.

Based on one case of anecdotal evidence, I've made up my mind and cannot be convinced otherwise.

BumpInTheNight: I met mine the traditional way, at a party.

Single people are invited to parties?

Met Mrs S on a forum 11 years ago, so getting a kick out of etc.

Online dating is like the French Foreign Legion. Most likely you will not find what you are looking for, but it will be an interesting adventure.

way south: enry: Divorced friend tried online dating. It recommended his ex.

Did she like pina coladas?

A friend of mine tried it and hooked up quickly, been married a few years now.
As for myself... I doubt I could trust a computer to pick a mate.

/Forever_alone.JPG

He did luck out and found someone he's been with for some time.

/happy for them
//me? Married for 16 years.

ZAZ: if you are shorter than 6', you won't show up on most searches women do

Resume vs. reality again: People tell me I look 6 feet tall but if I tell the truth I'll miss out on shallow women who would be satisfied with my deficient height if they met me.

I'm 5'7"

I just said "fark'it" and moved to Asia.