steamingpile: Also there needs to be more cheating stories,

1. A good friend of mine in college was dating a high school chick. I got to know her very well because they were always together. She became just as much a friend of mine as he was. After three years she confided in me one day that she had started dating another guy behind his back. I told her to either come clean and let the chips fall where they may, or I would tell him by the end of the week. She said nothing, so I did. Oddly enough, my friend and the guy she was cheating on him with ended up becoming friends and both dated her. And had threesomes. To this day he's married and participates heavily in the swinging lifestyle. I didn't see THAT coming.

2. My brother married a psycho big-haired Revere chick (Think 'Boston Kids' sketch on SNL). Two years in he found out she was cheating on him with some other guy. She would tell him she was going to a tupperware sales meeting. To keep up that lie she even took orders from my parents and their friends (they all thought they were just helping her earn extra cash.) It all fell apart when the checks were cashed and no products arrrived. Devestated, my brother divorced her, moved back in with the folks, saved money for two years and bought himself a new condo. Within a year, she had moved back in with him. So what do you call someone who was once a sister-in-law but is now just your brother's GF? Aside from skank-whore, that is.

WinoRhino: So what do you call someone who was once a sister-in-law but is now just your brother's GF? Aside from skank-whore, that is.

I figure she's still a sister-in-law, just with a lot less legal exposure for your brother regarding losing half his stuff if she gives him reason to kick her ass to the curb again.

Good for him.

They reconciled, but he didn't just let her completely talk her way out of the shiat she behaved her way into. Nor should he have. Trust is a long, long road back.

Maybe the precariousness of knowing she's disposable will keep her on good behavior.

Guy needs to do something about that bedhead.

HE LOOKS



/no seriously that guy is a little more auntie than uncle.

Outrage fail on my part.

My post was intended for FarkinHostile.

God, I hate posting from my phone.

What's the farkette version of studman69?

/HawtChik76: No way I'd sleep with that guy - look at his teeth he is way below my standards.

wambu: [i.imgur.com image 132x320]

Why is his shoe size important? Do women still believe there's a direct correlation between shoe and penis size? "Oooo, he's got the big feet! He must have that huge kawk I so desperately need to make cheating on my hubby worthwhile." WTF?

yes actually, men do it too as well, studies show that a man with a large shoes size, large hands and is tall is generally perceived as more successful

ThunderChicken: While I can understand the kind of denial that you go through when you just don't want to believe that your woman is cheating, finding her in bed with a naked "brother" is pushing it a bit. Even if it really was her brother, there's something seriously wrong with that picture. Most of the folks I know would shudder and go pale at the mere thought of having their siblings naked anywhere in the same building with them.

Well the point I should have made clearer is that it wasnt her brother, she just said that so I wouldnt be suspicious of him hanging around their house, him laughing a lot when I was over made a lot more sense after I found out. He ended up getting caught trying to buy a meth lab from a buddy and is now a convicted felon after serving 3 years.

ThunderChicken: First off, I need to know where that bar is. Having the manager comp your order because you just found out that your woman was a pig-slut, and then having the staff head her off while you make your departure is a level of customer service that you just don't see anymore.

Well, it was a bar I went to for a few years and I got to be good friends with most of them, its not there any more since most of the locals moved away now the same people have opened a bar up on a local lake, they asked about her a couple of times but have since quit now that I have a nice GF that isnt a lying miserable coont.

AsprinBurn: Cool story, Bro.

Feel better now? Okay.

I realized it was a wall of text after I posted it, oh well. And not really I dont, every time I think about wasted time and money it pisses me off, I figured if I didnt have to deal with her bullshiat during my youth I could have two houses by now. So fark her.

Imaginary Cheese Jedi: wambu: [i.imgur.com image 132x320]

Why is his shoe size important? Do women still believe there's a direct correlation between shoe and penis size? "Oooo, he's got the big feet! He must have that huge kawk I so desperately need to make cheating on my hubby worthwhile." WTF?

yes actually, men do it too as well, studies show that a man with a large shoes size, large hands and is tall is generally perceived as more successful

Hand size does usually correlate to penis size - about 1.5 to 2 hand widths long is normal size - over that you're well endowed, under that you're small. I'm not sure about the feet thing, but it's probably true, I would expect hands and feet to be in proportion.

That said, size 10 feet seems small for someone that's 6'2. 4-5" shorter and it might be about right.

unfair: Imaginary Cheese Jedi: wambu: [i.imgur.com image 132x320]

Why is his shoe size important? Do women still believe there's a direct correlation between shoe and penis size? "Oooo, he's got the big feet! He must have that huge kawk I so desperately need to make cheating on my hubby worthwhile." WTF?

yes actually, men do it too as well, studies show that a man with a large shoes size, large hands and is tall is generally perceived as more successful

Hand size does usually correlate to penis size - about 1.5 to 2 hand widths long is normal size - over that you're well endowed, under that you're small. I'm not sure about the feet thing, but it's probably true, I would expect hands and feet to be in proportion.

That said, size 10 feet seems small for someone that's 6'2. 4-5" shorter and it might be about right.

that and the whole "larger hands = firmer handshake = more trustworthy" thing too

So this old rich guy offers twirpenstein a thousand to try and bed his wife
My thought is the wife was in on it
Took him to her room of sexual pleasures of a kind hitherto unknown in that part of the world
and as she was having her way with this pleasure tart
Her old man was in the closet watching, recording and touching himself in an unclean manner
Repeatedly

WinoRhino: steamingpile: Also there needs to be more cheating stories,

1. A good friend of mine in college was dating a high school chick. I got to know her very well because they were always together. She became just as much a friend of mine as he was. After three years she confided in me one day that she had started dating another guy behind his back. I told her to either come clean and let the chips fall where they may, or I would tell him by the end of the week. She said nothing, so I did. Oddly enough, my friend and the guy she was cheating on him with ended up becoming friends and both dated her. And had threesomes. To this day he's married and participates heavily in the swinging lifestyle. I didn't see THAT coming.

2. My brother married a psycho big-haired Revere chick (Think 'Boston Kids' sketch on SNL). Two years in he found out she was cheating on him with some other guy. She would tell him she was going to a tupperware sales meeting. To keep up that lie she even took orders from my parents and their friends (they all thought they were just helping her earn extra cash.) It all fell apart when the checks were cashed and no products arrrived. Devestated, my brother divorced her, moved back in with the folks, saved money for two years and bought himself a new condo. Within a year, she had moved back in with him. So what do you call someone who was once a sister-in-law but is now just your brother's GF? Aside from skank-whore, that is.

Jill?

WinoRhino: 1. A good friend of mine in college was dating a high school chick. I got to know her very well because they were always together. She became just as much a friend of mine as he was. After three years she confided in me one day that she had started dating another guy behind his back. I told her to either come clean and let the chips fall where they may, or I would tell him by the end of the week. She said nothing, so I did. Oddly enough, my friend and the guy she was cheating on him with ended up becoming friends and both dated her. And had threesomes. To this day he's married and participates heavily in the swinging lifestyle. I didn't see THAT coming.

I will never understand people who call themselves "swingers" just call yourselves whores and get it over with, I had one girl tell me she was interested in that after the third date and then couldnt figure out why I wouldnt be into that as well.

That's pretty low level bar for whoredom there. Douchebag difficulty.

The real question is would she sleep with a guy she knew had a couple billion dollars? (Yes)

MadAzza:

What a load of total bullsh*t. Are you one of my former in-laws? First make up a lie, then gleefully spread this vicious gossip and watch as a marriage falls apart because "well, it must be true if enough people think it is"?

F*CK YOU.Outrage fail on my part.

My post was intended for FarkinHostile.

God, I hate posting from my phone.


No, I'm a guy who has been cheated on, and who has help quite a few women cheat. Been there, done that, know the deal. In every case, I knew they were being unfaithful, and after a bit of digging found proof. I know what fark bruises look like. I know what a guilty look looks like. I can tell when a woman is being sneaky and is lying. Now, I trust my instincts. That is what my posts meant, not "Lie to try and ruin a marriage". That is your baggage, and I'm sorry you went through it. I have my own cross of pain and heartache to bear.

But you know what the common denominator in off of the cases was? ME. My taste in women. I like easy girls. I like farkpigs. I like sluts. I can't be too surprised that my kind of girl cheats, they are sluts. Incredible sex, but it has a price.

So, either it's believable you would cheat, or you dated a guy who is damaged if he just believes lies without proof.

My advice: Stop acting like a slut and be above reproach, stop dating damaged dudes, or both.

/fark you? Really?

If my woman cheated on me with the weird metrosexual with bad teeth in TFA, I'd dump her because she's farking insane as much as for the infidelity.

/If it were Clooney, on the other hand, I'd say, Hey, I understand, but I still have to dump you.

oldtaku: That's pretty low level bar for whoredom there. Douchebag difficulty.

The real question is would she sleep with a guy she knew had a couple billion dollars? (Yes)

Exhibit A:

I'll save you some money. For only $500, I'll tell you that you are a pathetic pussy who has let their biatch get into your head to such a shameful extent that she now owns you entirely. Kill yourself.

I have a version for the ladies as well.


I'm sooo farking bored with this insecurity in both sexes.

thisisarepeat: I'm sooo farking bored with this insecurity in both sexes.

I think a couple million years of monkey evolution says you're stuck with it.

(yeah, yeah, ape, but monkey sounds better).

What would be worse: finding out that she's willing to cheat, or finding out that she'd prefer THIS cockbag over you?

/and I'm sure it's already been said...if you feel the need to hire this guy to find out, just scrap the whole thing and spend the extra scratch getting blasted downtown.

I'm a solid 3 on the sober hotness scale and I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole.

Aww farkers still think that picking up women is all about being the most handsome guy in the room and you have to look like George clooney to get laid.

/Honey trappers knees are too sharp?

A lot of people have failed to understand the basic operating method of this man's business.

It is not to get pussy through his work, not even close. And it is not to prove anything about the infidelity of loose women or the suspiciousness of controlling men, although that's almost it.

It's to make money from the gullible. Just like a lot of other business models.

Some men are insecure. These men will either be with a woman that will get sick of his shiat and cheat on him anyway, or not. But that's beside the point. Whether the woman DOES or DOES NOT fall for he honey trapper's schtick doesn't determine his pay. He's not paid on commission based on how far the woman goes. He gets the money, and his price range depends on location.

"The price depends on the location. Most clients were in Manchester, London or Birmingham. As Birmingham is near to me, I wouldn't charge too much - about £300. If it was a night out honey-trapping away from home, my prices go up to £1,000. The higher price includes expenses of a night out and hotel room."

He doesn't care if women recognize him or not. He doesn't care if he appears on (quick check online for local example (new window)) ITV1's This Morning show every week for a year and is known by every sexually frustrated Hausfrau from Land's End to John O'Groats. Because if a few thousand men know what he does, and they're willing to pay him money without thinking it through for a minute, do you think he's going to dissuade them? Did the inventor of the Pet Rock tell people, "hey, you people are wasting your cash, what the fark are you doing? Don't buy this!"...? Did Milli Vanilli tell people, "what are you crazy kids doing? This isn't us singing. We hardly even speak the language!"...? No!!

You know: for a free market society, there's certainly a severe dearth of people that even understand the basic rules of how the free market works.

And looking at that TV show's web page, it's apparently a British look.



Certainly explains the Olympic mascots.

So, this 22 year-old dude walks up to some dumpy-looking 45 year-old Brit lady and starts putting the moves on her? If alarm bells aren't blaring in this lady's head, she should consult a shrink.

Nick Nostril: So, this 22 year-old dude walks up to some dumpy-looking 45 year-old Brit lady and starts putting the moves on her? If alarm bells aren't blaring in this lady's head, she should consult a shrink.

I think it has something to do with mainstream media teaching them that when they 'go out on the town,' young, sexy men will be all over them.

When I worked at a hotel, we'd get these crews of older ladies going out to the bars and clubs. I drove guests out places in the hotel van, and without fail, nasty, overly made up middle aged women with orangey-tanned skin would try to put the moves on me. They would ask if I wanted to come by the bar and meet them after work, or they'd slip the tip into my inside breast pocket, etc.

I'm not super hot stuff or anything, but I was twenty and in pretty good shape. Plus, the hotel uniforms were proper, fitted suits, which didn't hurt. But I honestly think these ladies believed that I would have happily swept out their vaginas for them.

Or maybe I'm wrong and Sex in the City isn't to blame. Maybe young, reasonably attractive guys will bed down with nasty-but-easy older ladies who wish they were cougars.

Submitted First With a Better Headline: Nick Nostril: So, this 22 year-old dude walks up to some dumpy-looking 45 year-old Brit lady and starts putting the moves on her? If alarm bells aren't blaring in this lady's head, she should consult a shrink.

I think it has something to do with mainstream media teaching them that when they 'go out on the town,' young, sexy men will be all over them.

When I worked at a hotel, we'd get these crews of older ladies going out to the bars and clubs. I drove guests out places in the hotel van, and without fail, nasty, overly made up middle aged women with orangey-tanned skin would try to put the moves on me. They would ask if I wanted to come by the bar and meet them after work, or they'd slip the tip into my inside breast pocket, etc.

I'm not super hot stuff or anything, but I was twenty and in pretty good shape. Plus, the hotel uniforms were proper, fitted suits, which didn't hurt. But I honestly think these ladies believed that I would have happily swept out their vaginas for them.

Or maybe I'm wrong and Sex in the City isn't to blame. Maybe young, reasonably attractive guys will bed down with nasty-but-easy older ladies who wish they were cougars.

Old women are under the impression that young guys will fark anything, some will but for most of us they have to be slightly human looking without a mouth that looks like their dried out coont.

Imaginary Cheese Jedi: unfair: Imaginary Cheese Jedi: wambu: [i.imgur.com image 132x320]

Why is his shoe size important? Do women still believe there's a direct correlation between shoe and penis size? "Oooo, he's got the big feet! He must have that huge kawk I so desperately need to make cheating on my hubby worthwhile." WTF?

yes actually, men do it too as well, studies show that a man with a large shoes size, large hands and is tall is generally perceived as more successful

Hand size does usually correlate to penis size - about 1.5 to 2 hand widths long is normal size - over that you're well endowed, under that you're small. I'm not sure about the feet thing, but it's probably true, I would expect hands and feet to be in proportion.

That said, size 10 feet seems small for someone that's 6'2. 4-5" shorter and it might be about right.

that and the whole "larger hands = firmer handshake = more trustworthy" thing too

So.....if I'm hearing your right, you just said that guys with bigger dicks are more trustworthy?

Your newsletter, I must subscribe.

LOL

steamingpile:
I'm not super hot stuff or anything, but I was twenty and in pretty good shape. Plus, the hotel uniforms were proper, fitted suits, which didn't hurt. But I honestly think these ladies believed that I would have happily swept out their vaginas for them.


Most of them were looking for a man whore. As in, they were expecting to drop about $200 on you if you did the deed. Many hotel employees are open to this option.

Commander Lysdexic: What's the farkette version of studman69?

/HawtChik76: No way I'd sleep with that guy - look at his teeth he is way below my standards.

I hate his hair.

He's okay. For looks, he'shiattable.

But he's a rationalizing, manipulative douche. This gives him a low score on the Hitachi Superiority Scale.

You don't want to give a guy like that room in your head when you could be out meeting somebody you might actually end up liking.

/bzzzzzzzzz

<b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/6949416/75048740#c75048740" target="_blank">farkeruk</a>:</b> <i>This is just preying on people's insecurities. Men are dogs, not women. If a woman in a relationship cheats, it's almost guaranteed to be someone she knows like the guy next door or someone at work. Not a strange guy in a bar.

That's not to say that some women aren't slutty, but they're slutty before they get into a relationship.</i>

oh you must be a woman. actually, more women cheat then men. so i guess that makes women dogs?

OMG this retard looks ridiculous and like a humongous douchebag.
I couldn't take anyone who looked like him seriously, LOL.

wambu: [i.imgur.com image 132x320]

Why is his shoe size important? Do women still believe there's a direct correlation between shoe and penis size? "Oooo, he's got the big feet! He must have that huge kawk I so desperately need to make cheating on my hubby worthwhile." WTF?

Size 16, but then again, I'm 6'8. People ask my shoe size almost as often as they ask about my height. I figured they all just had fetishes.

Spad31: Good Gods, that guy looks like a tool. Nice, yellow, crooked teeth...completely odd sideways blow-dryer hair...WTF? Ladies, THAT is what you go after? Yeesh.

No shiat. If I lose a woman to that, I deserve it.

FarkinHostile: MadAzza:

What a load of total bullsh*t. Are you one of my former in-laws? First make up a lie, then gleefully spread this vicious gossip and watch as a marriage falls apart because "well, it must be true if enough people think it is"?

F*CK YOU.Outrage fail on my part.

My post was intended for FarkinHostile.

God, I hate posting from my phone.


No, I'm a guy who has been cheated on, and who has help quite a few women cheat. Been there, done that, know the deal. In every case, I knew they were being unfaithful, and after a bit of digging found proof. I know what fark bruises look like. I know what a guilty look looks like. I can tell when a woman is being sneaky and is lying. Now, I trust my instincts. That is what my posts meant, not "Lie to try and ruin a marriage". That is your baggage, and I'm sorry you went through it. I have my own cross of pain and heartache to bear.

But you know what the common denominator in off of the cases was? ME. My taste in women. I like easy girls. I like farkpigs. I like sluts. I can't be too surprised that my kind of girl cheats, they are sluts. Incredible sex, but it has a price.

So, either it's believable you would cheat, or you dated a guy who is damaged if he just believes lies without proof.

My advice: Stop acting like a slut and be above reproach, stop dating damaged dudes, or both.

/fark you? Really?

Your post (the one I'm referring to, and which I am too lazy to look up again) seemed to say that if someone (anyone) THINKS you're guilty of someone, you are. I don't act like a slut, and it's sh*tty of you to say I do. Someone else's bad behavior (gossip, lies, assuming the worst when I refuse to talk in detail outside the marriage about our problems) is not my responsibility.

That is what I was responding to, and which prompted the FU. If that's not what you meant, I apologize for my misinterpretation. But now it's a FU for assuming I'm acting like a slut. So there ya go!

My marriage was already falling apart. The gossip behind the scenes made it worse, but didn't really cause it. However, if those assholes had been more supportive of the marriage, maybe the momma's boy and I could have worked it out. Anyway, we're friends now, years later. But his sister and his mom can DIAF, AFAIC.

FarkinHostile:
So, either it's believable you would cheat, or you dated a guy who is damaged if he just believes lies without proof.

One more thing: People who believe negative, damaging gossip -- who believe the worst of someone else -- with no proof or reason do so because it affirms their own bad behavior. THEY would do it, so of course anyone else would. Especially when I try to keep myself up with proper diet and exercise and they ... don't. My ex isn't damaged and didn't care one way or another about what his family members said, but other people did, and that still hurts. It is damaging.

I don't want to get too much into certain people's bad behavior because I'm not really anonymous here, so I'll leave it at that.

Submitted First With a Better Headline: So is he shaving those little bare batches on either side of his chin intentionally, or is his facial hair just hilariously and naturally shaped that way?

Holy shiat, was wondering why nobody said anything yet. Why woukd soneone shape their beard like that purposely? And uf he can't help that he has patchy facial hair, why not just shave the damn thing off? That right there would be the deciding "no" factor for me. After the ridiculous hair. The teeth are wonky, but not too bad. I've encountered far yellower, brownish, crooked, and missing teeth. Not gonna kiss that mouth, sorry.

sjcousins:

/Honey trappers kneesfollicles are too sharp

FTFY.

It's like a truck of grooming products slammed into him as he inattentively crossed a crosswalk. Why there was a weird smile truck right behind it I have no idea.

KrispyKritter: much of what you write i tend to agree. except for "that lets his wife out". if hubby or wife really wants to do something you're not stopping them. unless there is a dominance in the relationship that is at an unhealthy balance; mental abuse, threats or violence. just my 2 cents.

I think they probably meant lets them out without being suspicious, I would add "on a regular basis" to that line though, I dont have a problem with the GF going out with her sister or her cousin when they come into town, as long as she knows Im not sitting at home.

Spad31: Good Gods, that guy looks like a tool. Nice, yellow, crooked teeth...completely odd sideways blow-dryer hair...WTF? Ladies, THAT is what you go after? Yeesh.

Are men in britain so horrible that this guy is attractive?

Julie Cochrane: Imaginary Cheese Jedi: unfair: Imaginary Cheese Jedi: wambu: [i.imgur.com image 132x320]

Why is his shoe size important? Do women still believe there's a direct correlation between shoe and penis size? "Oooo, he's got the big feet! He must have that huge kawk I so desperately need to make cheating on my hubby worthwhile." WTF?

yes actually, men do it too as well, studies show that a man with a large shoes size, large hands and is tall is generally perceived as more successful

Hand size does usually correlate to penis size - about 1.5 to 2 hand widths long is normal size - over that you're well endowed, under that you're small. I'm not sure about the feet thing, but it's probably true, I would expect hands and feet to be in proportion.

That said, size 10 feet seems small for someone that's 6'2. 4-5" shorter and it might be about right.

that and the whole "larger hands = firmer handshake = more trustworthy" thing too

So.....if I'm hearing your right, you just said that guys with bigger dicks are more trustworthy?

Your newsletter, I must subscribe.

LOL

No offense, but going by your profile pic you must be swinging a three-hander yourself.

Quantum Apostrophe: No offense, but going by your profile pic you must be swinging a three-hander yourself.

No offense, but going by your lack of profile pic while you take pot shots, you must be a cowardly weasel.

Julie Cochrane: Quantum Apostrophe: No offense, but going by your profile pic you must be swinging a three-hander yourself.

No offense, but going by your lack of profile pic while you take pot shots, you must be a cowardly weasel.

From his profile:
"Space is probably littered with the corpses of life-forms that didn't understand the hostility and sheer size of the universe. Corpses that preferred to hop around in fragile tin cans instead of living longer to match the scale of the universe before heading out."

He strikes to me as a coward, he's afraid of death and risks.