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(Vancouver Sun)   Scary: Severed foot washes ashore in British Colombia. Follow Up: ID'ed as missing fisherman. Weird: WHO DIED IN 1987   (vancouversun.com ) divider line
    More: Followup, Downtown Eastside, hiking boot  
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13125 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Feb 2012 at 2:13 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-02-18 06:45:31 AM  
Well, I guess now we know about how long a hastily-constructed pair of cement shoes will last in oceanic conditions.
 
2012-02-18 06:46:41 AM  

libranoelrose: lotonah: Hector Remarkable: [i229.photobucket.com image 320x200]

Do you wanna come to a club where people wee on each other?

You must know someone, or be an idiot.


It's cool, he knows old Gregg.
 
2012-02-18 06:49:22 AM  
I wasn't aware that the British had held onto any colonies down there.......
 
2012-02-18 06:49:34 AM  
I've heard of misplacing one's car keys but........
 
2012-02-18 06:56:01 AM  
IV. DEATH BY WATER

Phlebas the Phoenician, a fortnight dead,
Forgot the cry of gulls, and the deep seas swell
And the profit and loss.
A current under sea 315
Picked his bones in whispers. As he rose and fell
He passed the stages of his age and youth
Entering the whirlpool.
Gentile or Jew
O you who turn the wheel and look to windward, 320
Consider Phlebas, who was once handsome and tall as you.

- T.S. Eliot from The Waste Land*

*Posting this is of no particular relevance other than the sheer coincidence involved in my reading it shortly before I turned to Fark and read TFA.
 
2012-02-18 07:11:29 AM  
It's like the ocean coughs up indigestible hairballs from time to time.
 
2012-02-18 07:24:18 AM  
what's strange to me is that they said seven feet have been found, but they were all from different people. I would have thought at least two would be from the same person. If it's the same foot (left or right) with all seven, I think that would be a too big of coincidence for there not to be some outside force involved.
 
2012-02-18 07:24:43 AM  
who sees a shoe in the water and picks it up, much less opens up its dirty sock inside? If I saw an old shoe in the water, the last thing I would do is think "I have to get to that old shoe so I can look inside of it".
 
2012-02-18 07:31:40 AM  
What kind of boots are buoyant? Fisherman boots?
 
2012-02-18 07:37:53 AM  

nytmare: What kind of boots are buoyant? Fisherman boots?


Jesus boots
 
2012-02-18 07:39:29 AM  
Clearly the man sawed off his foot in order to fake his own death. It's SO obvious.

You know,... all "Survivor Type" references aside, this is not a completely unrealistic scenario... figure someone is diabetic or has some other malady, amputates the offending appendage in a scheme wherein it makes it plausible to assume a death/kidnapping/etc.

/lady fingers,.. they taste just like lady fingers...
 
2012-02-18 07:46:57 AM  
You want a toe? I can get you a toe.
 
2012-02-18 07:55:04 AM  

Mr. Potatoass: Gordon Lightfoot should write a ballad about this.


The legend lives on of the concrete shoes that fell off
And the mob didn't think of a buoy
The ocean is said sometimes gives up its dead
By a serial killer named Stewie......
 
2012-02-18 08:00:52 AM  

poe_zlaw: nytmare: What kind of boots are buoyant? Fisherman boots?

Jesus boots


www.nytmare.org
 
2012-02-18 08:20:15 AM  
Finally some good news, this totally alleviates my fears that Relic has turned to cannibalism...
 
2012-02-18 08:24:05 AM  
For the curious, it's about 15 land miles from Port Moody to Sasama Outdoor Centre. Or 1 nautical foot.
 
Skr
2012-02-18 08:24:06 AM  
"... nine feet belonging to seven people were discovered in British Columbia.
Seven of the feet have been identified as belonging to five individuals."


Sounds like one of those damned word problems from school.
 
2012-02-18 08:27:00 AM  

nytmare: What kind of boots are buoyant?


Tiny little boots...
 
2012-02-18 08:35:56 AM  

traylor: For the curious, it's about 15 land miles from Port Moody to Sasama Outdoor Centre. Or 1 nautical foot.


Nicely played.
 
2012-02-18 08:36:51 AM  
It's the ultimate stocking stuffer.
 
2012-02-18 08:55:22 AM  
www.vancouversun.com

27.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-02-18 09:14:54 AM  
Don't Canadians have real problems in these tough economic times? I mean, who's footing the bill for all this?
 
2012-02-18 09:29:02 AM  
Since it's Canada, I guess it's no surprise they found this guy's foot in "aboot".
 
2012-02-18 10:03:48 AM  
Between August 2007 and November 2011, nine feet belonging to seven people were discovered in British Columbia.

Must need the feet to stand on guard for thee.
 
2012-02-18 10:21:27 AM  
They got the metric system there. They wouldn't know what the fark a foot is. They call it a Royale with Seaweed.
 
2012-02-18 10:45:31 AM  

fusillade762: Clearly the man sawed off his foot in order to fake his own death. It's SO obvious.


I've been gradually sawing off my body parts and throwing them in the ocean so that people will think I'm dead for years now. No particular reason, I just like my privacy. Only problem is, now that I can't walk or go anywhere, and I'm recognized as "The Trunk," I'm not really as unknown as I'd like to be. Oh well, at least I had an original idea, unless the rest of you four-limbed losers.
 
2012-02-18 10:49:19 AM  
Colombia:

upload.wikimedia.org

Columbia:

i118.photobucket.com

British Columbia:

upload.wikimedia.org

British Colombia:

Er, um, there's no such place as British Colombia.
 
2012-02-18 11:25:05 AM  

Toots de la Footsjelly: nytmare: What kind of boots are buoyant?

Tiny little boots...


Made of duck-skin?
 
2012-02-18 11:52:39 AM  
Subby had it right. British ColOmbia. Because Colombias are places where godless heathens use drugs and sever peoples body parts.
 
2012-02-18 11:56:55 AM  

Methadone Girls: Another foot? Hasn't there been a bunch of them?


Several yards, actually.
 
2012-02-18 12:01:50 PM  
I suspect he had an arch enemy
 
2012-02-18 12:03:32 PM  

Skr: "... nine feet belonging to seven people were discovered in British Columbia.
Seven of the feet have been identified as belonging to five individuals."

Sounds like one of those damned word problems from school.


The rest of the feet were owned by a co-op.
 
2012-02-18 12:13:25 PM  
pickled feet anyone?
 
2012-02-18 12:37:41 PM  

Skr: "... nine feet belonging to seven people were discovered in British Columbia.
Seven of the feet have been identified as belonging to five individuals."

Sounds like one of those damned word problems from school.


If five of the feet from three individuals were floating west at one mile per hour, and two of the feet from one individual was floating northeast at six miles per hour, how many individuals didn't know what speed their feet were floating at?

/all of them, they're dead, dummy
 
2012-02-18 12:52:47 PM  
Clearly, these unmatched feet are still waiting for their solemates...
 
2012-02-18 01:12:14 PM  

schief2: Since it's Canada, I guess it's no surprise they found this guy's foot in "aboot".


Aboot time.
 
2012-02-18 01:45:51 PM  
Between August 2007 and November 2011, nine feet belonging to seven people were discovered in British Columbia.

Seven of the feet have been identified as belonging to five individuals.


Could someone hesplain this with a Venn diagram or something because I'm not getting it.
 
2012-02-18 01:58:24 PM  

Theory Of Null: Just think the last the songs that foot probably tapped too was one of these
Whitesnake - Here I Go Again
U2 - With Or Without You
"Shakedown" by Bob Seger or maybe even
Belinda Carlisle - Heaven Is a Place on Earth LEAN ON ME by Club Nouveau
Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam - Head To Toe


It's like a time capsule for hits of 1987.


What about "Footloose"?


/yes, I'm pretty sure "Footloose" was a hit before 1987
//just didn't care enough to look it up
///or to see if someone's already done this joke
 
2012-02-18 02:38:27 PM  

Mart Laar's beard shaver: [www.vancouversun.com image 620x400]

[27.media.tumblr.com image 500x300]


blogs.rand.com

What's in the box? Absolutely NOSSING! STUPAHD! YOU SO STUPAHD!
 
2012-02-18 03:18:42 PM  

OscarTamerz: Between August 2007 and November 2011, nine feet belonging to seven people were discovered in British Columbia.

Seven of the feet have been identified as belonging to five individuals.

Could someone hesplain this with a Venn diagram or something because I'm not getting it.


This!
 
2012-02-18 03:47:47 PM  
It's really very simple.

www.redmondreflexology.com
 
2012-02-18 04:24:36 PM  
maybe in about 3 years that foot from Glenn Beck's 1990 rape and murder victim will wash ashore. Because people raped in 1990 is funny,
 
2012-02-18 05:47:39 PM  
I have a feeling that the original owner of said foot was declared legally dead after being missing for several years. If they had found the body (the article doesn't say either way) I'm pretty sure they would have noticed that his foot was missing.
 
2012-02-18 06:10:29 PM  
I once got to talk to someone who recovered remains from military aircraft accidents. Apparently, the largest pieces of the pilot that they find are the boots, with the feet still in them. I didn't really need to know this.
 
2012-02-18 10:36:18 PM  

AbbeySomeone: You want a toe? I can get you a toe.


Lebowski aside, I also thought of cousin Terry.
www.mcpeepants.com
"Lemme just get another beer and give Terry a call. He does tons of stuff. He's kind of a jack of all... black market organs."
 
2012-02-18 11:07:44 PM  

iToad: I once got to talk to someone who recovered remains from military aircraft accidents. Apparently, the largest pieces of the pilot that they find are the boots, with the feet still in them. I didn't really need to know this.


One of classmates was a diener at the university medical school morgue and they were contracted to receive remains of airmen from a local air force base. The feet of the crews are printed like babies and the boots are extremely tough and after the planes hit ground at speed and the rest of the body was strawberry jam and toothpicks he'd get to unlace the boot and print the skin as best he could and send it off for matching against the print on file. He said there were a number of funerals that if they'd been open casket all there would have been to see were 2 feet.
 
2012-02-18 11:38:53 PM  
There is a British Colombia (embassy). It's at least 100 miles to the ocean, so I call shenanigans. Or aliens.
ukincolombia.fco.gov.uk

http://ukincolombia.fco.gov.uk/en/ (new window)
 
2012-02-19 03:45:58 AM  

LordOfThePings: It's really very simple.

[www.redmondreflexology.com image 469x360]


Author of your chart put colon in twice
 
2012-02-19 03:03:59 PM  

LewDux: Author of your chart put colon in twice


He/she must like ratios.
 
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