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(I Heart Chaos)   In the future, your chicken will come from brainless chicken zombies raised in vertical Matrix-like cocoons. Frightening science. It's what's for dinner   (iheartchaos.com) divider line 36
    More: Scary, Matrix, Headless Chicken Solution  
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10322 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Feb 2012 at 1:39 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-02-17 12:35:54 AM  
4 votes:
Now that I read more about it, I actually think this is a really good idea. If we're going to kill living organisms for food to feed billions of people, then we might as well might it as comfortable for them as possible. Ignorance is bliss after all, and they are just animals.

Then again I never had any problem with genetically modified foods, so maybe I'm just a realist who realizes we need to vastly increase our food production if the rest of the world wants to eat like American's.
2012-02-17 02:04:41 AM  
3 votes:

Coelacanth: I'll probably be going full vegan by this summer...


Remember, most western commercial farming techniques result in a massive number of animal deaths while farming. Besides many insects being poisoned or just plowed into the dirt (or reaped into the food), you have many small animals living in the fields that summer a similar fate.

When you eat vegetables, you're eating death.


/sleep well
2012-02-16 11:11:30 PM  
3 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: The sound you just heard was PETA going nova.


Why? They're all about things with no brains
2012-02-17 03:39:57 AM  
2 votes:
I know we're supposed to be shocked and disgusted because it is "unnatural" (whatever that ill-defined word means), and declare how we'd never touch that stuff for some vague reason... but honestly, I think that if we can grow meat with fewer resources and no animal cruelty involved? Sign me the hell up.

Granted, it will probably be low-quality stuff at first, but I think it is very that possible further down the road we will be able to manufacture meat that is just as good as the real thing (maybe even better, nutritionally speaking). Additionally, there would be far fewer worries about bacterial or viral contamination of our food without those filthy slaughterhouses to worry about.

I love meat and I'd never be a vegetarian for many reasons, but the reality is that it is an extremely energy-inefficient way to eat, and meat that is essentially biologically cultured in a lab could make the whole process much less wasteful.
2012-02-17 03:04:39 AM  
2 votes:
Eat food.
Not too much.
Mostly plants.

-Michael Pollan
2012-02-17 02:37:10 AM  
2 votes:
Up until I was around seven years old, my family raised chickens and I remember my maternal grandfather going out to the chicken house to select dinner.

Grandpa Scholl would march out to the chicken house in his bib overalls with a farking huge meat cleaver in the right back pocket. He'd pick out the chicken, pick it up and cradle it in the crook of his left arm, talking soothingly to it and petting it with his right hand. All the while, his left hand was slowly creeping up to the base of its neck as he walked to this one tree stump aways from the chicken house.

By the time he got to the stump, his left hand was then at the base of the chicken's neck. He'd then clamp it down hard, slam the chicken's head on the stump and with a smooth, swift motion, reach back to his right rear pocket, grab the handle of the meat cleaver and scribe a perfect arc in the air as it came down and severed the head of the chicken from its body. Then he'd let loose of it and the headless body would fall to the ground and run around like the proverbial "chicken with its head cut off," spouting gouts of blood out its neck until collapsing.

It was just farking awesome.

Now Grandpa Scholl may well have been a sadist in a way. As I understand it, his father used to beat him bloody as a child, literally. So that might have had some effect. However, Grandma Scholl was more of a pragmatist. If she had to go out and pick the chicken for dinner, she'd just grab it, wring its neck and have done with it.

All sorts of family fun, growing up in a three generational household.
2012-02-17 02:34:01 AM  
2 votes:
i341.photobucket.com
2012-02-17 01:53:43 AM  
2 votes:
img.photobucket.com
2012-02-17 01:01:04 AM  
2 votes:
How does he propose we produce chickens without cerebral cortices? Do we just work on breeding chickens that have no brains? Or would it involve a chick de-braining device of some sort?
2012-02-16 09:59:07 PM  
2 votes:
Hey, as long as it doesn't taste like despair I'm good.
2012-02-17 09:03:14 AM  
1 votes:
I want to say that I'm in favor of growing chickens without brains. No brain, no suffering. But of course the chickens would be born with brains. Part of the brain would then be removed (that means torn out). Plus the feet. (And they don't specify whether the feet would be removed before or after part of the brain is yanked out.) Then packed into huge "hives" of brainless, feetless chicken. But don't worry, the poultry industry will make sure there's no suffering.

If that isn't revolting then I don't know what is. If that isn't a peek into a hideous future then I don't know what is.

I buy cage-free eggs and chicken, I pay more, and yeah, I know you think I'm stupid.
2012-02-17 08:45:49 AM  
1 votes:

m3000: If we're going to kill living organisms for food to feed billions of people, then we might as well

go straight to Soylent Green.

Humans ARE the problem, it's time to start culling the herd.
2012-02-17 08:10:16 AM  
1 votes:
If you're not familiar with Chickie Nobs, you need to read Margaret Atwood's Oryx and Crake-- all science fiction has to do is wait for reality to catch up with it.
2012-02-17 05:08:58 AM  
1 votes:
To be honest, the sooner this horrific animal abuse leads to growing commercial food tissues in a lab (without the animal), the sooner this horrific animal abuse can end. Of course, there will be an accompanying precipitous drop in the number of chickens and cows in the world, which will violate somebody's religion.
2012-02-17 03:41:59 AM  
1 votes:
Chicken skin is awesome. If we switch to growing muscle mass in vats, they better figure out how to keep the skin on there.
2012-02-17 03:31:08 AM  
1 votes:

Nofun: This really won't ever happen. It can't be cheaper to individually place each bird into a tank than to just throw em all into a coop and then throw them all onto a truck later. Then again, who knows. Stick the bird into the tank, come back 80 days later, no other labor required.


There are other costs that are being eliminated here too. For instance, manure management is a huge issue in current chicken raising operations.

This system allegedly shoves a tube up their arses so their manure is routed to some central repository.

One thing this type of matrix would do is significantly reduce the risk of illnesses and diseases, between the birds themselves, propagation through manure, or via contaminated drinking water.

There'd be almost zero chance of having a bird flu outbreak.
2012-02-17 03:10:57 AM  
1 votes:
This really won't ever happen. It can't be cheaper to individually place each bird into a tank than to just throw em all into a coop and then throw them all onto a truck later. Then again, who knows. Stick the bird into the tank, come back 80 days later, no other labor required.

I'm ok with this. If people want to put cheap food in their bodies that's fine. I can afford organic meat, and that's what I buy and will continue to buy. It means I can't enjoy as much meat as I otherwise would, but that's ok too (eating less meat isn't a bad thing for you). It's not the quantity, it's the quality.

Typical meat has all kinds of shiat in it. Growth hormones, more poo, antibiotics, even artificial dyes to make it look more fresh. I don't think that's an honest meal, and I'll happily pay more for the real deal.
2012-02-17 02:50:31 AM  
1 votes:

Dedmon: Why do people insist on posting this silly drivel every time some vegan pops up his green head?


Most of the vegans and vegetarians in my life converted for ethical reasons. They refuse to participate in the slaughter or enslavement of animals. Fine so far. But many seem to forget that even the cultivation of fruits and vegetables comes with the price of some animals being killed or displaced in the process. To me, it appears that when the death is out of sight, it is out of their mind.

My S.O. who is vegetarian explains that it is the effort that counts. But it just seems silly to me to make such a radical life decision when the foundation of your choice has so many holes in it. I dunno, maybe it is because I am more of a black & white sort of guy and just consider the best effort explanation as wishy-washy.

I'm fine with vegans and vegetarians who convert because of legitimate health reasons.
2012-02-17 02:47:49 AM  
1 votes:
This is not what they mean by "eat more vegetables".
2012-02-17 02:47:13 AM  
1 votes:
You think this would make PETA and other animal-lovers happy, since we won't have to "tortuee" and "abuse" the poor innocent food animals anymore. We can release all of the enslaved farm animals into the wild to be free and happy, and we cna make all the lab-meat we want without harm to the beautiful and innocent children of Mother Gaea.
2012-02-17 02:32:06 AM  
1 votes:
Not science. SciFi done by an architecture student.
2012-02-17 02:11:34 AM  
1 votes:
Seriously though, this will still not be cheaper than even free range chickens. There are easier ways to have "humane" meat.

//Like raising your own if you are that concerned.
2012-02-17 02:03:43 AM  
1 votes:

ArcadianRefugee: Pigs: magical machines that turn vegetables into bacon.


They're probably going to try this on pigs next. Cows too.
2012-02-17 02:01:58 AM  
1 votes:

0Icky0: Coelacanth: I'll probably be going full vegan by this summer...

Me too. I promise to only eat animals that are made up of plant material.


Pigs: magical machines that turn vegetables into bacon.
2012-02-17 01:54:28 AM  
1 votes:
Meh, better that then Quorn Link (new window)
2012-02-17 01:52:38 AM  
1 votes:
Chickens are nasty creatures anyway. There's not a one of them that wouldn't happily peck you to death if it had an advantage on you. They're lucky they're so delicious or we would have had to destroy them all anyway just for some peace and quiet.
2012-02-17 01:52:27 AM  
1 votes:

NowhereMon: It would probably be easier to grow suspended chicken cells in a tank and then process it into nuggets etc. Plus you don't want to expend the metabolic energy to make bones, feathers etc.


This. I'm personally quite interested in the progress that some scientists are making into the whole "printed meat" idea. I'm too drunk and tired to look for a link, but basically, some clever-asses figured out how to fill an ink-jet cartridge with some protein cells, program a structure into the computer, and basically printed (over a series of MANY passes) a 3D slab of meat. I'd love to be in a future where I could get a call while at the store: "hey, sweetie, I wanna do some chicken alfredo tonight, but we're out. Could you pick up a fresh cartridge? Oh, and grab one of some filet mignon while you're at it, our anniversary is later this week." :D

/science is awesome
//cruelty-free and guilt-free meat
///NOM
2012-02-17 01:50:00 AM  
1 votes:

Coelacanth: I'll probably be going full vegan by this summer...


Me too. I promise to only eat animals that are made up of plant material.
2012-02-17 01:48:43 AM  
1 votes:
"The realities of the existing systems of production are just as shocking." Ford argues that his solution is no more shocking than existing food-production techniques. "The realities of the existing systems of production are just as shocking," he told Wired.co.uk,

He's been shocked one too many times.
2012-02-17 12:45:29 AM  
1 votes:
Being in the Matrix isn't that bad... I think it's better than eating slop, even if there are orgies in Zion.
2012-02-17 12:10:53 AM  
1 votes:
Meat is meat. Does it matter whether that meat had brain functions attached to it at some point?
2012-02-16 11:19:59 PM  
1 votes:
So which is worse? Slitting the throat of a living, feeling, creature or slitting the throat of a brain dead one?
2012-02-16 10:59:01 PM  
1 votes:
Brainless chicken zombie meat fed to brainless human zombies.

It's kind-of poetic, don't you think?
2012-02-16 10:30:26 PM  
1 votes:
It would probably be easier to grow suspended chicken cells in a tank and then process it into nuggets etc. Plus you don't want to expend the metabolic energy to make bones, feathers etc.
2012-02-16 10:27:12 PM  
1 votes:

Sgygus: Is the semi-brainless chicken shocked with electricity to exercise the muscles?


Jerome: It tastes familiar...
Ted: Beef?
Jerome: No...
Linda: Chicken? We'll take chicken.
Ted: What does it taste like?
Jerome: Despair?
Ted: Is it possible it just needs salt?
2012-02-16 09:29:46 PM  
1 votes:
Is the semi-brainless chicken shocked with electricity to exercise the muscles?

/looks sick, but any worse than the way chickens are raised these days?
 
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