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(NYPost)   IPhone thief demands oral sex from his male victim for the iPhone back, then refuses to return it once the deed was done. That's not nice... going back on a promise and all   (nypost.com) divider line 135
    More: Sick, iPhone, petty larcenies, Barnes-Jewish Hospital, Bellevue Hospital, male victims, Jerry Lodvill  
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19156 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Feb 2012 at 3:15 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



135 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-02-16 05:11:11 PM
Hey, it's just a phone. Let it go.
 
2012-02-16 05:17:08 PM
If you're giving a thief a bj for your phone back you must really like teh dick
 
2012-02-16 05:19:09 PM
And the fellating of Apple products continue.

This could make a good commercial though.

"The iPhone 4S. You'd suck dick for one."
 
2012-02-16 05:23:48 PM
Painfully obvious that the guy must have something on his iPhone that'd send him to PMITA prison if he'd go that far to get it back.
 
2012-02-16 05:28:17 PM
They really need a fleshlight app and attachment.
 
2012-02-16 06:36:13 PM

Diogenes: They really need a fleshlight app and attachment.


Here ya go: Link (NSFW)
 
2012-02-16 07:26:54 PM

Backwards Cornfield Races: If you're giving a thief a bj for your phone back you must really like teh dick


It says he was gay in the article and coming home from a gay bar, so yeah, he probably does
 
2012-02-16 09:33:37 PM
Isn't this what teeth are for?
 
2012-02-16 09:40:34 PM

propasaurus: Diogenes: They really need a fleshlight app and attachment.

Here ya go: Link (NSFW)


I need to get this at for a guy at work who's a ifanboy.
/not going to ask how you know about this... not there's any.....
 
2012-02-16 09:49:43 PM

AlwaysRightBoy: propasaurus: Diogenes: They really need a fleshlight app and attachment.

Here ya go: Link (NSFW)

I need to get this at for a guy at work who's a ifanboy.
/not going to ask how you know about this... not there's any.....


'a guy at work'... Riiight

/like everything else, I probably saw this on Fark first.
 
2012-02-16 11:01:59 PM
The article should have pics of the victim, at least.
 
2012-02-16 11:28:28 PM
No one's heard of a shank?
 
2012-02-16 11:56:47 PM
At least he got a DNA sample, unless he swallowed
 
2012-02-17 12:00:22 AM
This is the kind of thing that happens to people who own iPhones. It's part of that whole Apple mystique - getting your device stolen and then being forced into sex for its return. They''ll even do this for you at the Genius Bar.
 
2012-02-17 03:23:53 AM
I've never been too sure how wise it is to let my victims suck my dick.
 
2012-02-17 03:26:38 AM
Looks like someone at the post needs the "Those are farking magazines not clips!!" lecture.
 
2012-02-17 03:26:57 AM
I don't care if it's my sexually preferred gender or whatever, I would not perform oral on a stranger for a phone. And if you're so poor that an iPhone means that much to you, then perhaps you shouldn't be buying an iPhone to begin with.
 
2012-02-17 03:27:19 AM

RoyBatty: I've never been too sure how wise it is to let my victims suck my dick.


I've always considered anyone who sucked my dick to be a victim.
 
2012-02-17 03:28:45 AM
FTA: "A skeevy fiend was arrested for harassing and robbing a female friend in Bath Beach, authorities said."

Really?
 
2012-02-17 03:30:06 AM

AlwaysRightBoy: /not going to ask how you know about this... not there's any.....


Was posted on the Geek tab a week or so ago. That was a good thread, IIRC....

Wouldn't that be a form of prostitution though? I mean, it's not cash money, but it's clearly an exchange of a product for sex. Though, in this case, I wonder if the cops would refer to both of them as "Johns"?

I'm thinking about this too hard.
 
2012-02-17 03:31:29 AM
You'd think that be a good opening to do a literal "get em by the balls", rip em off even and rummage his pockets for your phone, his wallet w/e you'd like.
 
2012-02-17 03:34:26 AM
He didn't get his phone back? Well that just sucks. =(
 
2012-02-17 03:34:35 AM
edibleapple.com

Gay


/Never sucked d!ck for weed either
 
2012-02-17 03:34:57 AM

Scruffinator: AlwaysRightBoy: /not going to ask how you know about this... not there's any.....

Was posted on the Geek tab a week or so ago. That was a good thread, IIRC....

Wouldn't that be a form of prostitution though? I mean, it's not cash money, but it's clearly an exchange of a product for sex. Though, in this case, I wonder if the cops would refer to both of them as "Johns"?

I'm thinking about this too hard.


Maybe a nice cold shower?
 
2012-02-17 03:47:19 AM
Victim probably figured What the hell, it's what I went out to do anyway.

/just use lotsa mouthwash later.
 
2012-02-17 03:54:30 AM
What are the ethics of reneging if the blowjob is worse than your wife's?
 
2012-02-17 03:55:05 AM
If the the thief grabbed the phone and noticed it was an Android, he would fark you up the butt for making him waste his time stealing a crap phone.
 
2012-02-17 03:55:45 AM
I think I've seen this porn flick.
 
2012-02-17 03:59:05 AM
Bite down hard, hold out your hand for the phone back. If it is not forthcoming, have a long pig sausage for dinner.
 
2012-02-17 04:00:11 AM

MoeSzyslak: Looks like someone at the post needs the "Those are farking magazines not clips!!" lecture.


When ever the military has been interchangably referring to those as clips and magazines since the semi-auto was invented, you're on the losing side of this one. Gun clubs standardized on a terminology, good for them, that doesn't mean everyone else has to use it.
 
2012-02-17 04:02:27 AM
The victim, a gay twenty-something from Chelsea,

the article should have mentioned that the "victim" besides being a gay 20-something from Chelsea; was most likely; a flirty power bottom cruising the area for power tops, big brawny, and rough power tops.
 
2012-02-17 04:08:13 AM
www.iphonesavior.com
 
2012-02-17 04:13:08 AM
Good thing he didn't actually take a good phone he may of had to take it in the ass and cuddle. He got him off easy.
 
2012-02-17 04:14:25 AM

Backwards Cornfield Races: If you're giving a thief a bj for your phone back you must really like teh dick


THIS. He just wanted an excuse...

some_beer_drinker: [www.iphonesavior.com image 300x325]


...and this. Though, to be fair, I'm not sure which is worse...

/DNRTFA
 
2012-02-17 04:17:46 AM

illannoyin: [edibleapple.com image 300x333]

Gay

/Never sucked d!ck for weed either


Jealous and sad?
 
2012-02-17 04:20:33 AM
I like how apple haters just call apple gay to hide their own insecurities.

What worthwhile thing have you done in your own life.

/pretty sure nothing
 
2012-02-17 04:22:04 AM
www.fightlinker.com
 
2012-02-17 04:28:11 AM

ani23: I like how apple haters just call apple gay to hide their own insecurities.

What worthwhile thing have you done in your own life.

/pretty sure nothing



ani23i.imgur.com
 
2012-02-17 04:29:43 AM
That sucks.
 
2012-02-17 04:30:44 AM
Steve Job's vision comes to fulfillment: Literally having oral sex with someone for an iPhone.
 
2012-02-17 04:31:38 AM

ani23: I like how apple haters just call apple gay to hide their own insecurities.

What worthwhile thing have you done in your own life.

/pretty sure nothing


You mean besides buy a phone?
THIS is what you judge to be 'worthwhile'?

Seek your own identity.
 
2012-02-17 04:34:19 AM
I'm going to call shenanigans on this one.
 
2012-02-17 04:35:22 AM

skinink: If the the thief grabbed the phone and noticed it was an Android, he would fark you up the butt for making him waste his time stealing a crap phone.


Oh boy. You bought the phone.
It doesn't make you smart, funny or in any way superior.
Find something else to be proud of.
 
2012-02-17 04:38:19 AM

RoyBatty: What are the ethics of reneging if the blowjob is worse than your wife's?


While I haven't done any research, I would imagine that gay men give better blowjobs.

But don't tell my wife I said that...
 
2012-02-17 04:44:42 AM
Your momma is so ugly she steals iPhones for sexual attention.
 
2012-02-17 04:53:01 AM
No reach-around?
 
2012-02-17 05:04:29 AM
So that gaytest jpeg was right
 
Skr
2012-02-17 05:17:52 AM
Heh I wonder if the guy has the GPS app on his IPHONE. Maybe giving head under duress played into his fantasies.

Echoing above posters. A man's junk is vulnerable. If you have your hands and teeth on the junk, you have the power. Grab. Twist. Yank.

Something seems queer about this story.
 
2012-02-17 05:25:10 AM

Without Fail: skinink: If the the thief grabbed the phone and noticed it was an Android, he would fark you up the butt for making him waste his time stealing a crap phone.

Oh boy. You bought the phone.
It doesn't make you smart, funny or in any way superior.
Find something else to be proud of.


Yes well as long as you can't text a whale on Android it will continue to fail.

i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-02-17 05:37:38 AM
He claims he chased the suspect into a wooded area near The Cloisters.

Sounds a little suspicious. Maybe went to the woods with the guy and the guy ripped him off?
 
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